I got 99 problems....


If there's no drama and negativity in my life, all my songs will be really boring or something...
-Eminem


Its weird what ppl do when they are pushed...Like in engg in Mumbai university. I wont say engineering in Mumbai univ is more difficult than other universities. But there are many associated factors which make it difficult. Take for instance, travelling. 4 hrs of travelling to college is not a regular affair in every city. But in Mumbai its what most Tom, Dick and Patils do... There are many other distractions tht a city like Mumbai wud offer, but lets not go there...

My point is, we (engg students) tend to make our lives difficult by erratic planning and idiotic schedules... Our Professors dont help our case much...They screw us with even more erratic planning of their own... So u may have to complete 4 assignments in one day or complete two practicals in 2 hours with the readings and all....

Its weird what ppl do when they are pushed... Some of them fall...Others look for support... Some fall in love (which is not even love, subject of another post) , some take up nicotine, some alcohol and some others find solace in music...

Now this isnt the music they used to listen to as kids... This music is different...

The genre of music they listen to depends on wht engg they are doing, i mean the field they are specializing in and wht college r they doing it from...And obviously, it also depends on how f**ked up their life is..

If u r from a college in Western suburbs like Andheri, Bandra etc.(read SP{my college}, Tsec, Fr Agnel) there is a fair chance u wud like to listen to hard rock... The lower your grades, the harder your rock!

If u r from a college in Central suburbs, like Matunga, Vidyavihar etc.(read VJTI, Somaiya) u wud luv to listen to soft rock sumthin like Linkin Park..(provided u r able to keep up ur grades)

If u r from Navi mumbai college(read...well, there are about 20 coll here..), u wud probably listen to songs like summer of 69 and stuff..
Maybe when the grades decline they will shift to meaner stuff but its usually doesnt go beyond "Nothing else matters"..

If u r from Thane (read Johndale, Parshwanath etc.), there is a fair chance u like Himesh!

Well, most ppl reading this blog (u guys really read my blog?) know I am different! So I obviously wont fall into any of the above categories... Some of my friends listened to rock, but i didnt understand all the noise and the head banging... Plus I dont wanna end up with spondylitis when I grow old!

My cousin, Aroop intoduced me to rap when i was in 12th...the first song i heard was Eminem's "Lose your self"... I loved it when I first heard it, but the words didnt stick...

I guess it was in the 1st year of engg when Eminem's tracks started to sound interesting... I got hooked on to Dr. Dre, Snoop dogg, 50 cents and later Jay Z....
Most of Eminem's songs made sense...somehow u could relate to them...Back then I had written some lines myself.. Tell u what, Rap comes out much better if u r very screwed or very elated! Since I was normal(relatively :)) my poetry sucked!

It still sucks! The other day I was sitting in office thinking about the electricity crisis in Western Maharashtra and the water crisis in eastern Tamil Nadu... a song struck me...Jay Z's "99 problems"

I was humming it (coz singing is not allowed in office, plus the song has objectionable lyrics) and checking my mails(This was after I was done thinking about Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and Alyssa Milano..er...i hav no idea why i mentioned her...)

I came across this mail...Its a story... Its in Hindi..Pls try and understand...
The English translation is given below anyway..

Pls click on the image to get a clearer view...




The
(crude) English translation is -

Raju's father bought a Robot which could detect people lying... The robot wud slap anyone who lied...
One day Raju came late from school and when asked he lied about having extra classes..
The Robot slapped him. His dad(Raju's... not the robot's) asked him wht he really did... Raju told him about this mythological movie "Hanuman" he saw... The Robot slapped him again!
On being interrogated further, he told his father the truth about watching an erotic movie called "Katil Jawani"
Raju's dad got angry. He told Raju how when he was Raju's age he was all sincere and stuff... The robot slaps the father this time!- Implying tht this time he was lying...
Raju's mom now intervened saying tht since he was Raju's dad, Raju was bound to lie like him..
Hearing this the Robot slaps the mother, implying tht Raju's dad is not his real dad!
I hope u get this story...

Now read this…Same story in English!

To be sung on the tune of 99 problems –Jay Z (well, atleast some parts)

Once upon a time not a long ago,

Raju's dad brought a Roboto!

This Robot wasnt crude, get tht dude..

He slapped anyone who didnt say the truth...

Once Raju came late to home...

“U going out with ur Girlfriends son?”

“Er...no! Poppy u got it all wrong,

I got late coz i was studying, man I was on a song!

I cant help it if I get late,

I aint dating noone - Ashley, Mary or Kate..”

Hearing this the robot got activated,

He slapped Raju on his cheek,it knew he had dated!

“U lying boy, my robo knows,

When I was ur age son, I had no doves!”

The robo slapped the popa next,

I guess it liked this one best..

Moma now intervened,

Two slaps now it had been..

“Raju is ur son, him to lie we expect...

U got slapped in front of ur son, u lost all respect..

Like the father the son tends..”

The robo slapped the moma next, this is how the story ends!


I know..I know..its amatuerish but its an attempt...And I wrote it in my office..among the chaos..among designs and printouts and within the sight range of the German who sits right behind me...Hes pretty cool anyways, but hes not well versed with the art of rap, so..wht a waste..

I wasnt too elated or too screwed while writing this poem so considering all tht i guess it came out pretty well! :P

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6 letters to the editor:

    how come u didn't mention u wrote the rap urself? when u forwarded it, i thought it was someone else's creation.

    u know.....u should take credit for ur work more often........in the boatloads of mail that i receive from u.....its hard to know which ones r ur brainchildren :)

    and i think my dad is right afterall.......u do get paid for the wrong reasons :)

    Hahahahaha...
    Well, let me explain why I didnt own up the poetry when I sent it as a mail attachment...
    I was once 8 yrs old(yeah I was!)...I had a set of water colours. The first thing I painted was the bulb of my room. I told my mom tht it was my brainchild..Sumhow it wasnt received well by my parents!

    I learned to not own up my mistakes 14 yrs ago!

    To be honest,I wasnt sure if it was a good enough poetry (i wondered if it was poetry in the first place!).
    Plus I didnt want my friends to think tht I was sum kinda freak who came up with weird rhyme! :P
    But now I have it on my blog...er..no tht I think bout it, it wasnt a very smart thing to do :P

    On February 5, 2008 at 6:34 PM     
    aroop said...

    for the rap


    Take a bow son, take a bow..

    aroop

    On February 5, 2008 at 6:36 PM     
    aroop said...

    you are writing my biography mate..

    for starters you can write about how i had very bad influence during childhood, 'YOU'

    @aroop
    Thank you!

    Bad influence? ME? Hey? I was the bestest bro u ll ever have!
    (Well, thts my version of the story...if u wanted to share urs, get ur own blog :P)

    wow! whoever thought one could relate music to the location of ur collg