The colour purple...

A friend of mine, well, he's not my age or anything, and when we were younger, the age difference and the height difference was considerable, which meant he played with the bade-log on the big ground with no grass while I played with the chote-log on the smaller ground with lots of grass. So this friend, if i can call him that, after spending a chunk of his life abroad is back to India for a small stint. He has been posting all the old, non-digital pictures of us from the different holis we have spent together in our colony through the year.

I had never seen these pictures before - only few people like this friend of mine, had the jigar (or guts) to bring their camera, which cost a bomb to the holi event, with water balloons flying everywhere and each speck of gulal posing a threat to the over all well being of the camera. And since we werent the best of buddies or anything, I had never seen these pictures.

The pictures are from different years and I thinks that is what makes them so special for me. I am not there in most of the pictures. I had always been a shy kid, and even today, I would rather be behind the camera than be in the front of it. There is this pic with me in it - Boys from the colony are sitting with their backs against the garden wall, there's this one guy with his face all purple shouting, there is another friend pushing someone, then another mischievous one pulling at the collar of another - and there's me, sitting in a corner with a couple of feet distance from the main group, with only so much holi colour on my face that suggested I was involved in the colour throwing, smiling shyly.

Now, our colony bears a ghostly town look. There is a building that is not inhabited by anybody - it just stands there in oblivion, reminiscing in its glory days when it used to be the most lively building thanks to its inhabitants who were at the forefront of various committees which were responsible for organising various festivals in the colony.

I am one of the last ones still left in the colony among those purple coloured people in that picture. In fact, the only one, I think. I was wondering what would I do differently if I got a chance to go back in time - Will I be sitting closer to those guys coloured purple?

If I could only be one of those guys who called all others to play - and not - as it were the last guy to come and the first one to leave. If I could stay behind on the ground, talking about weird stuff we saw on cable TV in the 90s, like Undertaker's coffin, and not worry about the unit test that was always around the corner. Would I do it? Would I be one of those guys?

Now, sometimes on lazy afternoons, I want to do nothing more than just go out to the ground and hit a few sixes out of the park. It is a lot easier now that I have grown bigger and the park looks like it has shrunk. I have an itch everytime India wins a match, I want to just go out and be that person who calls the others to come down and play. But sadly, now, none of those guys live here. A different set of kids live here - but they never ever play. I am not very proud when it comes to cricket. I would very happily enter that group of kids the average age of which is close to 13 and demand a game - but they never play! I dont know what they do all day! But they are never on the ground playing.

I still very fondly (and proudly) remember that game where I first hit a half century. Sure, the boundary line was only 40 yards away, but it still remains one of my fondest memories. I know those days wont come back -  We will never have matches that schedule to start at 10 in the morning -The afternoons will never be so crisp, the evening winds never so strong. But I hope some kid comes down stairs and calls me to play cricket. For this time, I wont be the last one to come and the first one to leave. I will be one of those guys coloured purple.

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How to identify that perfect girl?

Many trees have been felled to produce pages which have been then filled with tips on how to get that perfect girl. Some of these tips might actually work- Like my book - How I got my girl back! A nerd's guide to dating. (Product placement bhi important hai bhai) But as far as I know, none of the books focus on how to identify that perfect girl for you. Any guy who "likes" a girl, wants to make her his. As ego boosting as it might be to get that girl, the important thing is to identify THAT perfect girl first. 

Now there are some guys who want girls who have perfect legs and wear skirts, even if it is minus 15 degrees outside, or are really athletic or good at sports, or I dont know, have a tatoo or something. While there might be some guys who want girls like that, I think the chunk of 25-30 years guys (Also, the desperate group, I mean, if not now then when, if not you, then who?) would want old fashioned good girls. At least I want a good old fashioned girl. If you want a good old fashioned girl, read on. If you want a girl who drives a bike, and has 3 piercings on her body (two of which are not visible), colours her hair red every May, then I dont know what to tell you man, you are in for a roller coaster ride. 

So, 10 ways how to know a girl is a good girl -

1. They are honest. Good girls are bad liars. They just are, maybe they have never had to lie, or they dont think anything is worth that much, but they never lie. Now how do you spot this trait? Talk to them. We live in a world in which anyone who tries to be honest will stand out. And you will know.

2. They are kind. You will never find them shouting/ordering anyone around. The waiter could mess up her order, the rickshawala could refuse to take her some place (that is rare, though), her subordinate might miss the deadlines, but she will never lose her cool.

3. They are sweet, for no particular reason. Their default mode is sweet. Having such girls around can make your life so much better. You have sales targets to complete, you just enter her cabin, she talks about her pet dog, and that can cheer you up, for the next couple of hours at least.

4. They are fond/proud of the men in their life. She's very proud of her father. She can spend hours talking about the bhindi ki sabzi he makes or his daal-rice. She will be proud of her brother, and super protective if she is the elder one.

5. They dress conservative. Not that they dont like dressing up, but I think they are just uncomfortable with attention and want less of it. What is considered conservative changes from time to time, and they change according to the time too, only, I think they are slightly behind the times. Not that I am complaining.

6. They have empathy. They can understand the pain of someone else which makes them more helpful than other girls. In fact this is how they make friends. 

7. They cry in movies. It need not be during a romantic scene when the heroine keeps running and cant catch the train in which the hero is in, stretching his left hand half heartedly. They even cry when the grandparents have to leave their ancestral home when Chinai seth & his goons illegally take over.

8. They like pets/kids. They have an inherent need to care and kids and pets fulfill this need. So, if you as a man dont like pets or kids then you are in deep trouble.

9. They understand good humour. Which in other words means that they will laugh at your jokes provided you arent cracking jokes at the expense of her favourite actor, or one of the men she is super proud of.

10. They will make your life so much better. If you have that one good girl in your life, you will know coz your life will be so much better than it ever was. 

I speak from experience, if you can find that one good girl, do everything to keep her. There are very few of them left and by some stroke of luck, or some good karma that you might have unknowingly gained, you have got a shot with her. Don't let the girl go.

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