The TimePass of India

I am not among those ppl who would post Urdu poems on their blog...Infact I hate sms shayaris...But there are some of my majnu friends who have blood relatives in Airtel....They somehow keep sending me all these "Tere naam" type shayaris.. Now, me being a nice guy tht I am, I cant ask them to remove me off their messaging lists.

But the other day, I read this sms tht my friend sent me...

I am gonna write it below...Read it slowly...Try and picture it, u wud like it tht way..



Uski ankho mein mohobbat ki chamak aaj bhi hai..

Use mere pyaar pe shak aaj bhi hai...

Naav mein baithkar dhoye the haath kabhi usne...

Saare talab mein mehndi ki mahek aaj bhi hai....




For my readers in the US, UK, France and Italy - here is the somewhat crude translation

Her eyes sparkle with my love still
She aint sure bout it though
Her hands touched the lake waters once
It fragrances of mehndi* still...

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi

Pardon my utter disregard for Urdu and English grammar.
Man, I suck at English poems..




Shayari

http://www.google.com/searc...india%27s+most+wanted+timepass

Sometimes I like to go on a ego trip...Actually, I love to go on ego trips..The reason - coz they are the only trips tht need no money and no sick leaves. I say sick leaves coz as Trainees we are not allowed casual leaves... So, sick or not, Sick leaves it is! I have already taken half of my alloted sick leaves... My colleagues must think what a sick person I am...

Coming back to the topic... I was just going on one of my trips when I came across this...

Search for india's most wanted timepass in Google... Who tops the list??? Yeah..yours truly! The Time Pass Of India.

I didnt think I wud make it to the top this soon... And I would like to thank my friends whose antics I have posted... I wud also like to thank all my readers who have too much free time and who are kind enough to read the gibberish tht I produce...

I wud also like to thank the idiots at WordPress. Had it not been for their stupidity I could have never been india's most wanted timepass! (If u wanna know wht happened at WordPress read this!)

This blogger knows this means nuthing...its just a bug in Google's algo... Phir bhi yaar, why waste a chance to blow ur trumpet!


india's most wanted timepass

I got this mail yesterday....I m sure all you engineering guys must have read this one...
I am pasting it here for all my non-engineering friends...there are not many...I guess they were pissed off by my not spending time with them...Sorry guys! This post will confirm tht we are basically lazy and jobless people who coz of their own Time mismanagement have no time when it comes to spending time with their friends....

There has been a lot of fiddling around by me with the original mail...This has lead to the ruining of a perfectly sane email...



Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!



On being Late

"I overslept" (this is a Arshat Chaudhary special)
"Was caught up in the Traffic at SV Road"(Most Profs who have seen SV Road buy this excuse)
(classic) " Train was late" (Everybody who stays more than 10 kms from the college in Mumbai is allowed this excuse)



During Lecture

"Biscuit hai kya? Bhook lagi hai" (This is a SPCE mech special)
"Rahul ka assignment 3 tere paas hai??"
"Yeh double lecture hai kya?"
"Yeh kya sikha raha hai??!"

(classic)"Journal sheet hai??"


Lab
"Practicals hone wala hai?" (Again a SPCE special)
"Expt. 1 likha??"
"Attendance ho gaya??"

(classic)"Karna kya hai??"



Unit Test
"Yeh kab sikha ke kab hua??"
(classic)"Aaj kounsa test hai?"


late submission of assignments

"SOM ka last date extend hua thaa"
(classic)"I didnt know the last date"



VIVA (b4 exam)
"submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Dekh Boss !! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai......(ekdum emotional )"



VIVA (after exam)
"yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"
"achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"
"ye subject ka reference book kaunsa hai"
"Vidyalankar mein to alag hai"





VIVA (general)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala , then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"

(Classic) "Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"
When is Sardar Patel's bday? (This ques was actually asked in SPCE..Sardar Patel College of Engg.)




Submission
" Ye bhi chhapna hai kya??"
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

(classic)"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

(classic conversation)

A: Ye tune kya likha hai / teri handwriting aisi kyun hai?

B: Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal

maine Mahesh se likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.

Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nah samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de.


EXAM
"Jo (mujhe)aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"
"tere paas Daji ke notes hai??"
" nahi samjha to rat le "

(classic..... when someone is intensively doing his last revision) "Yeh nahi aayega !!!"

Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!

Its been ages since I posted. So here goes..
This post is bout my placements. SPCE is known for its amazing placements. This was one of the reasons why I joined SP.

Our placements began on the 19 June just 10 days after our 6 sem exams got over. I wanted to get selected as soon as possible, not because I wanted to get in the best cos (the best cos usually visit first) but because I wanted to enjoy my vacations. I didnt even wanna sit for the interviews...I didnt wanna work in a 9 to 5 job (btw I do tht nowadays..n its not tht bad!)...

The first company tht visited us was Bajaj Auto. Clearing the apti was the least of my worries. I am good at clearing Aptitude tests. The only apti I didnt clear was the Bajaj autowalla apti (Bajaj autowala- pun intended!) And tht was because of a wrong question in their apti...I missed by one question, and had to return home...

Next day it was LnT...Now, I had heard really bad things bout them (no offense meant) and was in no mood to attend their aptitude test...I gave the apti for the heck of it, cleared it, and gave the interview. The interview was the fun part...The interviewer asked me questions bout IC engine and mechanics(the fav of my subjects)...Then he asked me one question bout metallurgy...This is one of my worse subjects..I have an allergy of meta-allergy...I faltered...He smiled, just like Brett Lee smiled when he knew Sehwag couldnt play balls targeted into his rib-cage..!
He did it to me what Lee(How come an Australian is named Lee?) would do to Sehwag! He tested me in Metallurgy...Tht was the end of my innings...Btw Kunal(one of the my "dirty dozen" group) made it to LnT...
I went home feeling sorry for myself..Why? I have no idea!

The day after, on 22nd june, it was Siemens...Cleared the apti, waited for the interviews...About 20 of us had cleared the apti...Looking at the quality of guys nd girls selected for the interview I stood no chance...But I aint no quitter nd I was getting bored of travelling to the Andheri(my college) everyday for interviews...I wanted this job real bad...
I took the 17th spot for the interview...I wanted some time to brush up on my metallurgy...
The interviews took a lot of time...My chance came at 9 in the night...The interview did not go very well..The interviewers did to me what Sourav Ganguly does to left arm spinners!
I came out sure tht I wont be selected...But there were only 3 more guys to go, so I decided to wait...

By 9:30 all the interviews were over...They took half an hour to decide on whom they were gonna recruit...But it seemed lot more than half an hour! I was making myself think tht Tata Power is gonna come tomorrow... I wud make it tomorrow...I had completely given up on Siemens, after all they wanted only 3 students from mech...3 out of 20, wht chance did I stand?..

Then he came out of the TPO, the HR head from Siemens..Everybody gathered around him...I stood away from the crowd, near the doorway, so tht I cud leave as soon as he finished calling out the names.

The first name he called out was "Akshay Sukhtankar".Akshay almost leaped onto him...Hi fives all around...Next was "Rohit Apte". The next name he called out was "Komelabbas Lakhani"..Not selecting him would be such a mistake...

Thts it 3 names called out...thts all they wanted..3 guys frm SP...they were recruiting from Somaiya the next day...
I turned around and took a step towards the doorway...Thts when he called out the 4th name? What? 4th name? "Arshat Chaudhary".... What the?Who? me?how?they said they wanted only 3 guys!But he called my name out..loud and clear...Know how it is when u prick a balloon? It happened to me!

Navin shook hands with me, someone patted my back, ppl congratulated me, I dont remember if I answered...I had blacked out...

I remember breaking the news to my mother and my dad...I called up Aroop and Rohit and few more guys who were pretty close to me...Congratulatory messages started pouring in on my cell...

Even at 11 in the night I didnt get a place to sit in the train, but all of a sudden, it didnt matter
anymore..The Vacations had finally begun...

P.S.-They didnt recruit anyone from Somaiya mech the next day. For any Somaiya guys reading this post, you know whom to blame! My placements - When the Vacations finally begun...