Showing posts with label arshat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arshat. Show all posts

The weight of the soul and sand....

I thought of this today. I think of so many amazxing things but since I have a job that takes up much of my time and creativity I don’t get to share the gems with you guys.



Everytime I get some brainwave, I want it to be like a story – you know start, middle and end – something that would enthrall you. But very recently, I have decided that I am going to share my half baked ideas with you and share the real gems with the guys who buy my books – the paying customers, you know! :P

I know what you be thinking – he writes once in abluemoon and acts like a turd, I am going to ctrl+w his shit. But wait – The wait has been worth it for this idea will change the way you look at life, well, not quite, but it’s a good idea, hold on –
So, you know how kids ask what happens when we die and what is a soul and what is its nature? I think I know.

I think every man has a soul – wait – let me scientify it. A soul is not a single entity. Think of it like a pouch of grey sand (found on the bank of Yamuna). There is say 100 gms of such sand dissolved in you. These 100gms is unique to you. Not everybody has 100gms and not everybody has the same shade of grey.
I already have a feeling I should stop here and share this with my paying customers, but anywho –

So, all living things have souls, right? That includes trees, and dogs and cockroaches, sure the cockroach might have only 3 gms of red coloured sand, but it has a soul alright.

Now as a rule, soul can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can be only moved from one living being to another. You know how they say at the beginning there was God – well, that might be true, he had a million gazillion gms of sand type soul which he later dispersed in living beings – also known as the big bang – into small bacteria like life forms, gazillion of them probably, each having 0.0001 gms of sand as the soul.

Oh, we have gotten the deep end of the pool. Let us go now to the much more enjoyable shallow end – How do babies get their soul and when?

I think as soon as the sperm and the egg mate, the baby gets a soul – a teeny tiny 0.001 gms of soul maybe, but a soul nevertheless. As it grows in the womb, the growth of the soul remains stagnant. Let me clarify at this point that just because something is growing doesn’t mean its soul is growing too, also the weightage of the soul isn’t directly proportional to its weight. For eg – an elephant might have less of a soul than a man or a dog for that matter. Also the soul grammage differs from elephant to elephant.

Once the baby is born, when it starts crying, it is for a few seconds just surviving on the 0.001 gms of soul that it had for the 9 months of its inception, its only when it gains awareness does it get its entire soul. For babies that are stillborn, there is only 0.001 gm of soul that nature has to recycle which I am assuming is easier. Sorry for being so morbid and insensitive at the same time, but bear with me.

When a human dies, their soul is no longer of use to them and is recycled by nature. It need not be immediately recycled though. The babies yet to be born in the particular humans’ family, I think, have first dib’s, to get a part of that soul. That is why, so many kids have the peculiar habits that their great grandparents had.

Some characterstics are pre-coded into your soul, just like some people have blue eyes, some have a dark soul, they don’t wanna help others, are jealous, cranky.. while others might be more helpful, polite, loyal…

Nature vs Nurture

I strongly believe Nature wins over nurture big time. The fact that most souls remain in a family getting passed from great grandpa/ma to great grandson/daughter, a bad souled grandpa would lead to a bad family. I might be over simplifying but what I basically wanna say is this – If the parents didn’t do a good job of nurturing a kid, maybe the kid wasn’t worth it. Do I hear the knives being drawn?

I have no way to justify it, but I think, a good kid would do well, irrespective of what the parents’ report card says. Also, I am saying that parents do less for the kids who they know aren’t good seed.

Hmm…Maybe is this is why I don’t publish half baked ideas. But this one has taken quite a bit of time to write and it would be a shame to hide it in my documents folder – So here I click the publish button – Swish!

The weight of the soul and sand....SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , , ,
1 letters to the editor  

The excerpt


Do you know what a new book smells like? You know, a book that has just come out of the press? I love that smell.The smell of ink on fresh paper... It reminds me of my childhood. I used to smell the books while putting a new brow cover on them. (It was a rule in my school-no, not smelling, I mean, having covers on your books). The smell reminds me of a new beginning... it comforts me... It makes me feel that the past is forgotten. It's another day...

I have been really nervous the last few days... My editor told me that the Novel has gone into the press. They are printing copies as we speak...

I wonder how the final copy is gonna look. I wonder how it's gonna feel... I just want to touch it once.... I wanna just smell it once...

Here, I post an excerpt from the Novel : How I got My Girl Back...!

I hope you like it... If you do, do visit the site for more www.arshatchaudhary.com (It's up and running now)

Excerpt from
Chapter 19 :
The Date

“L9? That is level 9, right? I will be there.”

“See you around 8 then.”

“Okay”

I started getting ready at six thirty, I didn‟t want to be late or get stuck in the traffic. Pune traffic on Sunday nights is a devil. I wore my favorite Arrow shirt and jeans. I know, kinda weird, not something that you would wear to a restaurant, but tell you what; Indian girls find an office shirt worn over a pair of denims very hot! Okay, I didn‟t know that, Akshay told me.
I reached World Convention Centre around seven thirty. Entered my name at the reception and then took the elevator to the ninth floor. I approached the counter just outside L9.

“Excuse me, Sire!”
A guy dressed in a dark blue blazer, probably the captain at the restaurant stopped me. These swanky hotels have guys like these to make you feel unimportant.

“Yes?”

“You are not wearing a tuxedo!” He had a British accent. Fake of course.
I realized something. This guy, it was... it was... Umesh! In a Tuxedo! A Tux completely changes the personality of the person I tell you.

“Umesh? What‟s wrong with you?! What is going on?”

“Isn‟t it cool? I am the captain here and I want you to wear a Tux,” he said excitedly. He pulled out a black swanky Tux from behind the counter. “Here! Put this on!”

“I am not wearing any Tux!” I said. There was no way I was gonna change from the „hot‟ look to the „old fart‟ look.

“Hey look! I don‟t make the rules!” He said.
Someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned to find her looking at me with her lovely hazel eyes. She was wearing a maroon salwaar kameez. It had some embroidery but essentially it was very simple. Just like her - simple and pretty. She had a couple of purple orchids in her hand.

“Dev? Why is everyone giving me orchids?” She asked in her honey dipped voice.

“Umm.. umm..” Think Dev, think! “Umm… „cause you are pretty.”

Maybe that was the setting Akshay was talking about. He must have requested all the guys to give her orchids. I must have told him only once that Pritha liked Orchids, and he remembered that!

“Nooo,” she said. “I come into the WCC and the gatekeeper gives me an orchid saying Ma'am you are beautiful‟. I go to the reception to enter my name, the man at the counter stops me and gives me an orchid saying 'Ma'am you are beautiful', I enter the lift and say Level 9, the liftman takes out an orchid and says-”
“Ma‟am you are beautiful?” I offered to finish her sentence. “See? I was right! They really like you. And who wouldn‟t, you are beautiful.”
She blushed at that.

“Uh.. should we go in?” She asked.

“Ma'am, there is a dress code.” Umesh pitched in. “Tuxedos for men, evening gowns for women.”
“Oh.. but, I don‟t have a evening gown!” she asked.
What was he doing! He was ruining the whole thing. Just then he pulled out a turquoise evening gown from behind the counter and handed it to Pritha. Now turquoise is the name that girls have given to the color blue. I mean, why can‟t they call it blue! Wasn‟t turquoise an animal that goes into its shell every time it senses danger? Oh wait… That is tortoise.

“Ma‟am, you can wear this!” Umesh said handing her the gown. “And this too,” he handed her high heeled sandals or whatever they call them.

“Oh.. but do I absolutely have to?”

“Yeah, does she have to?” I quipped in. I was worried she might call the whole thing off.

“Sire, I don‟t make the rules.”

“Are these my size?” She asked checking the gown and the high heels.

“They sure are!” said Umesh.

This is the guy who gets up at six to take a dump, this is the guy who wears a baniyan for most part of the day and here he was ordering us to „dress up‟. Anyway, we decided to dress up, in our respective costumes of course, and in our respective restrooms of course.
I wore my tuxedo and came out of the men‟s restroom. I waited outside women‟s restroom for Pritha. She took a good twenty minutes to get dressed. Girls always take a lot of time to get dressed. But I swear to God, it‟s all worth it! She came out, wearing her turquoise evening
gown.

She looked beautiful! Her hazel eyes, her lovely curls, her curvy body. The dress hugged her body, revealing her figure. Till now, I had seen her in loose Salwaar Kameez which covered most of her. This gown was held by delicate straps at her shoulders. This was the first time I saw her shoulders. They were so shapely, and so delicate. My eyes lingered down. I wanted to soak in as much as I could. I would be lying if I said I wasn‟t aroused…, sexually. I would be lying if I said that 'thoughts' didn't cross my mind. Pritha saw me looking at her. Girls can distinguish between a glance and a leer. I was leering for sure.

“How do I look?”

My throat went dry. In a hoarse voice I said- “lovely!”.

She blushed. To be honest, I don‟t get why girls like Pritha blush after hearing something nice about them, I am sure they must hear such things about them all the time. But then, maybe, not the compliment but the person who gives the compliment matters.

I gave her my arm to hold, like they show in old Hollywood movies. She let out a laugh and held it as we entered the Level 9. Umesh held the door open for us. There is a small indoor section at L9 too. But today it was empty!!!

Who would wanna eat inside when you got such pleasant weather, and for some lucky blokes like me, such pleasant company? We kept walking through the indoor section and finally reached the terrace. The terrace was empty! There was a single table at the far corner of the terrace. Pritha looked at me confused. I wasn‟t less confused. Why was L9 so empty on a Sunday night!

“Sire! This way Sire.” It was Kunal! He wore a white blazer, like those waiters in costly places.
We walked to the lone table on the terrace. I pulled the chair for Pritha. It was dark on the terrace save for one pink candle that was on the table.

“It‟s a lovely night, isn‟t it Dev?”

I looked up at the sky. There was no moon. There were like a billion stars. It almost felt like they were here to watch us.

“It‟s lovely,” I said. Then looked into her eyes and said, “But not as lovely as you.”
She smiled. It was peaceful. Just me and her. Isn‟t that how God meant it to be?

“How come we are the only ones in the restaurant?” She asked.
Only if I knew! Akshay had come up with this. But the thing is, why hadn‟t he told me about it? And where was he! Pritha was looking at me, waiting for an answer.

“Umm… maybe they decided to let in only those couples who were made for each other.”

Pritha looked at me, kinda amused at what I had said.

“Devvv?” She said half amused, half annoyed.

“Pritha.”

Her name is so sweet. Calling her name out like that seemed to say that I mean that thing about made for each other.
Now, I knew she was someone's girlfriend, and here I was telling her that she was meant to be with me. Pritha was bound to be a little taken aback, albeit in a good way, to see this side of Dev.

The Dev she knew would always be a little hesitant to say something of that magnitude! But I figured that I had nothing to lose, since I was not asking for her answer. In fact, I wasn‟t even waiting for her answer. I almost declared that she was made for me.
Kunal came in with the menu.

I placed the order for Risotto olla Milanese and Russian salad. She asked for the Roasted vegetable Mediterranean Lasagne.

“You look handsome in this Tuxedo,” she said, looking at me.

I tell you, it is such a thrill when a girl you love says that. I felt a shot of blood rush to my ears. When Akshay had coached me, he made one thing clear, you have to be ready to keep her guessing, keep it interesting…

“Well, thanks. I always look good in rented suits,” I said. The line wasn‟t that clever but I couldn't come up with anything wittier than that then. Trust me, it‟s difficult to think straight when you got blood rushing in far extremities of your body.

Kunal brought in two plates. This time, instead of bread crumbs there was actual food in the plates.

We ate in each other's company. Soft music, I think it was Ronan Keating's 'When you say nothing at all', that was playing in the background. The only other sound was of the knife and fork touching the plate. I would say something silly every now and then and she would laugh her sweet laugh. Her laugh - like a seven year old‟s - unrestricted, full of innocence and clearly brimming over.

For dessert, I ordered a Gelato, while she ordered Vanilla ice cream with Kahlua. What is Kahlua? Don‟t even ask me! To be honest, I think even she didn‟t know about it.

“What is a Kahlua anyway?” I asked.

“I have no idea!!” She said it with mock confidence. For a moment there I thought she was kidding me.

Kunal brought in the dessert. She savored every bite of ice-cream. The metal spoon touched her pink lips, the cold ice-cream melted as soon as it touched her warm lips. I never knew you could eat ice-cream like that. My throat ran dry. She noticed me staring at her.

“What are you staring at Mr. Dev?”
Using „Mr.‟ as a salutation, when least required, is a girl‟s way of flirting.

“I..I..wasn‟t staring…”
Forget all coaching. If the girl decides to get flirty, you are on your own mister.

“Oh, yes you were!”
She smiled; baffled, but quite enjoying the fact that she was being stared at.

She looked at the sky.
“There are so many stars in the sky!”

“Yeah…” I managed to say. “There are so many more in your eyes.”
A smile played on her lips...

“But there is no moon today,” she said.

“There is one,” I said looking at her.

Soft music was still playing in the background. Now it was playing- I love you by Robbie Williams

“May I have a dance with you Mr. Dev?” She said.

If I didn‟t know better I would say she was high. The ease with which she was with me was quite uncharacteristic of her. She had always been this shy girl. Most of the times, she had trouble meeting my eyes, and here she is now asking me for a dance. Nothing wrong with that really, only that I have two left feet and hadn‟t received any coaching on dancing with Umesh. I gave the empty terrace a quick glance.

“Oh.. a dance? Really? Okay.”

I was not gonna miss this chance of holding her close to me.

I held her hand and led her to the centre of the terrace. She was wearing high heels and was finding it difficult to keep balance. I have always had a liking for simplicity. Pritha always kept it simple. No flashy clothes, no major makeup, no fancy high heels, she was comfortable in her own skin. In a way, she was so unlike me, I always wanted to be someone else.

I held her close to me. Since she was wearing high heels, she now almost came up to my height. She rested her left hand on my shoulder and I held her right hand in my left. Her hands seemed so small in mine. But it fit so perfectly. I placed my right hand on her waist.

The song played in the background.
Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two And then I go and spoil it all By saying something stupid Like I love you
I pulled her close to me. I think God hardwired us to slow dance, which is why even men like me who can‟t co-ordinate the movement of their feet to a simple left-right-left, have no problems dancing with a girl in their arms.

And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid Like I love you...

She placed her head on my shoulders. We kept moving to the soft tunes of different songs.

________________________________________________





P.S.

1. Please do join the community How I got My Girl Back...! on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=125312997504438

2. Also there on orkut : http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community?cmm=102975754

3. If you wish to be updated about the book, please do follow me on twitter : http://twitter.com/arshatchaudhary

4. Btw, this was my 200th post :)




The excerptSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , , , ,
12 letters to the editor  

The best dreams....



The best dreams are the one which keep you awake at night...

The last few weeks, some of my very favourite dreams have kept me awake... The Sun rises really early in Germany, I know, coz I have been sleeping at 4 in the morning, consistently, for the last few weeks...

Getting your book published is like nurturing a baby. You hav
e to keep it in wraps... nurture it... and one day when it's ready, lead it out to the world..

I am generally calm about everything but lately, I have been a little jittery. I keep thinking about the book... There is just too much work actually. Sometimes the cover is not right, sometimes there is a problem with the cover, sometimes the website wont load, sometimes the flash file that I am working on crashes.... There are times when I get up at 5 in the morning, go to the kitchen and wonder why I came there in the first place.... I return back, and then I realise that I was thirsty! I go to sleep anyway...

I have kept you guys in the dark enough... But today is the day I unveil the cover of my Novel.





Now there's an interesting story about the cover.

You see, the cover that was sent to me by the Publishers, though lovely, looked like a out of a Mills&Boons novel. There was this couple kissing and stuff. My mother and sister saw the poster and were slightly scandalized. I knew the cover had to go. Ever since my kid sister started bossing me around, I have decided, never do anything that the sister doesnt like. I like to be safe. Period.

So, my editor called me and said that if I were to reject that cover, I had to come up with a new one within a night.

I worked on it for some time. What I came up with was almost as Milly&Boony as the previous cover. I realized that this was the work of a real nerd. Someone so nerdy, that his life would revolve around Sci-fi movies, Autocad software and Cartoon Network.

In Pushkar Sheth, I found that nerd. The weird thing about guy friends is, that you dont really have to ask/request them to do stuff... You just tell them. We worked on the cover in the night (in different rooms on different continents) and by morning we had 2-3 nerdy covers, with the above mentioned cover being the nerdiest of all...

My European friends have asked me what does the cover mean... I explain it here :)

The HOW has a square sign, indicating that getting his girl back, wasnt that straight forward. The 'i' is an imaginary number, implying lack of confidence in the guy.
The girl is presented as Girl++, like the programming language C++, implying his failure to understand them.
The heart is the best part. The heart has what we engineers like to call - dimensioning. Dimensioning is used to measure things. Here, the guy is trying to measure his heart and thus, the feelings that it embodies!
Deep no?


I hope you guys like the cover. Do let me know what you think about it in the comments section.

I have also been working on the Flash Teaser for the novel. Most of my friends who have seen the teaser, like it... I am currently also working on the website where you can have more information about the Novel, like excerpts, Q&A with the writer, synopsis, the works you know...

I can show you the teaser, but I am too shy to show the website. The teaser came out pretty well, but the site, though informative, isn’t what you call dhinchak! The reason for that being than neither me nor my friend is a computer engineer. And I don’t really have the money to hire people to do this. So the website might take some time before I learn some stuff about making a website.

Anyway, here is the flash teaser I was talking bout... http://www.swfcabin.com/open/1276689382

If you like/dislike it, you let me know...



My friends in India as well as in Germany have been asking me for signed copies once the book comes out. Everytime someone asks me for a free copy, I feel bad that I get only 10 complimentary free copies. Yes, that’s right. Only 10. If you are Salman Rushdie, then you might get 10 dancing ladies with hundreds of free copies... But I am not him, not even close, so no dancing ladies for me. And only 10 copies.

What I can do is, I can get you guys a discount so instead of the market price, you will get it at a cheaper price, but that’s all. If you stay in India and read The Time Pass of India, do send me a mail across at arshat.chaudhary@gmail.com. I will make sure you get your pre-launch copies at cheaper prices.



Some dreams are good. They give you that tinkling feeling in your belly. The kind you got when you were about to kiss for the first time.

Some dreams are not so good. They give you the chills. The kind you got when were caught copying in the 4th grade. Sometimes I dream that no one is buying my novel. I dream that - I ask the publisher when he’s coming out with the second print, and he says no one has bought a single copy from the first print. Sometimes I feel my friends will not buy my Novel because they expect me to send them one. And it’s out of my control to buy so many of my own copies and ship them all over the world.



I couldn’t have asked for better friends. My friends at ESCP, MDI(Gurgaon), SPCE(Mumbai) and Siemens(India) have been more than encouraging. All my friends in Berlin, Indians, Germans and from all over the world have been extremely supporting. The foreigners (actually I myself am a foreigner in Germany) have been so excited about the whole thing. I guess they see a bit of bollywood in the teaser.

Rahul Sindal, my roommate has seen me change from calm, composed, confident man to someone who became pretty unsure of himself. I have always admired the ease with which he cheers everybody up around him. I am really happy he was around this time. Alright now, a man shouldn’t give more than 3 lines of praise to another man. It just gets too awkward.

Now that I am in the zone, I would like to get over with all the senti stuff quickly. Pushkar Sheth has been the creative mind behind a lot of things. I find it difficult seeing my book published on time without him being in the picture. I also hope after reading such praise about a fellow human being, one of you pretty girls will go over and approach him. He’s a nice guy, only too technical. Thanks Pushkar, I know you don’t read my blog coz you find the stories too senti, but one day your daughter will come on this blog and read good stuff about you, and she will think you are more than an android sent from the future :P

I also want to thank Sameer Thombare for doing what even professional designers find difficult to do. You did a better job than them, you did it faster than them. IIM B has waited too long for you :)

I thank Harsh Snehanshu(Oops I fell in Love) for patiently answering all my questions. I thank Sachinn Garg(The Sunny shady life), my senior at MDI, who constantly pushed me to work more on my novel. I hope you read the novel and like it. I also thank N Sampath Kumar (Love on the velocity express) for keeping up my spirits when I was down.

I wanna thank Purnima Gopalkrishnan. She did what girls like doing the most, which is, finding a man's mistakes. The time and energy she put in reading my manuscript and finding out 1027 errors is commendable. The quality of the novel really improved coz of her efforts. I can go praising her, but I don’t wanna spoil my chances with other girls. : )

I hope I cover everyone from my blog friends to the people I work with when finally I say – I thank my friends for being there.


The book comes out on July 10. That is my birthday. I am entering that phase of my life where one has to hide his age. So I will not be mentioning it here.

The book will be available for Rs.125. It was priced higher. I had to fight and fight with the Publishers to bring it down to Rs.125. The slightly higher pricing when compared to other publishers is acceptable because the binding and the print quality of Pustak Mahal is far too superior.

The novel will be available at all leading book stores all over India come July 10, 2010. It can also be bought online.


Novel:

How I got My Girl Back...!

A nerd’s guide to dating

Author:

Arshat Chaudhary

Publisher:

Pustak Mahal

Price:

Rs.125

Available at all leading bookstores from July 10, 2010


P.S.

1. Please do join the community of How I got My Girl Back...! on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=125312997504438

2. Also there on orkut : http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community?cmm=102975754

3. If you wish to be updated about the book, please do follow me on twitter : http://twitter.com/arshatchaudhary

4. Dont know if you have noticed... This blog just reached 1,00,000 hits!!! (check out the number of copies sold on the column on the right)

To my readers - Thank you for everything!

The best dreams....SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , , , , , , ,
25 letters to the editor  

Something that I have to share with my readers...


People have many fears. I have this friend who has never failed an exam and still fears that he will fail. One of my uncles fears losing money in the stock market. You know what my biggest fear is? -

I fear that nobody will want to hear what I have to say...




On a wintery morning in January of 2007, I wrote my first post. I didn't think of the future then. It was just something you do when you are fed up with life.

I was in my final year of engineering, and as it is famous for, Engineering did enough to make my life a boring routine - Lectures, Assignments, Practicals, more Assignments, Prep leave, Exams, more Exams, Results, Placements and more...

Life happens not in a planned way but on a wintery Tuesday morning... like it did to me...

It happened when I decided to start blogging. I never thought I was a good writer. All I knew that I could tell stories. I wrote my first post and hoped my friends will like it. Some of them did. They pushed me enough to write the second post, then the third... till I became addicted to writing...

I think a lot, and I continue thinking till I write my thoughts down. This very blog taught me that. I would write down my thoughts and that would clear my head for newer thoughts, saving me from the cycle of thoughts that I used to get caught up earlier.

Dont you think who will remember you when you go? When I go, will they rememebr who Arshat Chaudhary was? Was he a good guy? Was he funny? When I go...I will leave these stories behind... and hope that through my stories you read my soul...

It is difficult to write a blog. It is difficult to place yourself out there. You are potentially standing naked on a street. in fact, it's even worse, as on a street, no one knows what you are thinking...what your deepest fears are... Everyone who has been on this blog, knows me.. atleast a part of me...

What gave me the courage to a guy like me, shy and an introvert, to start writing, putting myself out there! Trust and Love!

I hope through my stories, I have made you smile, made you cry, made you think, asked you to fall in love... I hope I have fulfilled my purpose of starting this blog.

I look at the followers of this blog. I am humbled when I realize there are so many of you who have never met me, dont know what I look like, dont know what my religion is, or what is my political inclination, but still you love me enough to read what I have to say...

It's funny how a simple comment from someone whom I have never met made me feel so happy for days together... I hope my stories have had a similar effect on you.

I can't help it if I sound sentimental today... But today, something happened which I didnt think was possible...

I have always loved your comments, even when you didnt comment, I knew you had read the post, and I was in some way, able to touch your lives in some way... I felt happy that I could do that. All those words of appreciation some of you showered on me on my Orkut and facebook profiles and through email, though exciting, only ended up humbling me and pushing me to come up with better stories...

In most of my posts, I must come across as a guy who has this inherent urge to announce his supremacy by cracking stupid jokes about how awesome he is... But honestly, isnt that the trait of a person who wants to be accepted? Dont you think the guy who goes on saying that 'I am the best' is actually not too sure about it..?

All this while you have enjoyed my posts... I sincerely hope that you have... You have seen me grow... From a boy studying for his final year engineering to the man that I have become... I know, not much of a man... but play along, will ya? :)

I have shared so much of my life in the last 2 and a half years, I have to share THIS with you, this is what I did today...

I signed these papers. I am now an Author.



I owe this to each one of you.... each one of you who has come on my blog... liked my posts... or even disliked my posts... each one of you has influenced my life and writing in some way.

Today, to each one of you who has taken time out of their lives to hear what I had to say -

Thank you
Something that I have to share with my readers...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , , , ,
27 letters to the editor  

Of Holi and that confession thingy

When I was very young, probably in the fourth or the fifth grade, my dad would pack me downstairs with a small bucket full of water balloons to play holi with my friends. Now as far as I remember, I was a shy guy (arre sacchi!). I didnt have many friends. So while all the other kids would be busy colouring each other, a drawing class gone wrong, I would wonder how to enter the colour fest. I mean how do you go about throwing water balloons at people you dont know very well. I used to stand in the corner wondering how to get into the commotion. After half an hour of standing there, I would turn around to go back home, but just so that I dont look like a complete loser to my dad, I would throw a few balloons on cars, and a few on myself, to look the part. Then I would return home, soaked in the colour of three balloons I splashed myself with, take a bath and have puranpoli for lunch.

What I didnt know is that my dad used to watch me from our third floor apartment, while I went on throwing balloons on cars and drenching myself in colour. He didnt say a word.

***

My best holi were the ones I played with my cousins. The night before the holi day, we sat in the bathroom stocking ammunition. I filled balloons with water using my new nagraj brand pichkari, while Aroop expertly tied knots to the balloons. He had names for all types of knots. Floppy knot, army knot, super knot..
"Arre main aisa knot bandhega na, Michael Jackson bhi nahi khol paayega", Aroop used to say.
"Michael Jackson kaun hai?", I asked. I didnt have cable then. My favourite shows included Phulwari bachon ki on DD1.
"Abbe Michael Jackson nahi malum? kya dance karta hai bey woh.."
Its amazing how highly kids thought of him. And who can blame them, I mean of the 6.5 billion people in the world, how many have turned snow white from jet black?
Aroop(I know you are secretly reading this), you were such a showoff! :P But not his mistake entirely if you ask me, this is what cable Tv did to a lotta boys during the 90s.

***

Our colony, had two cricket groups the "bade log" and the "chotte log". My problem was that I fell in the age group which was common to both. But I chose to play in the chotte log, coz they played underarm cricket and I didnt know how to bowl overarm then and also it was easier to win there. What? Dont judge me! I like to win!

I shifted base to bade log at the start of the 7th std. I had taken a liking to overarm cricket inspite of the fact that I was terrible at batting and couldnt bowl 6 legitimate deliveries without giving away 20 extras. Anyhow, it was Bablu, who was usually the captain of my side, who had deep rooted confidence in me. How else do you explain a newbie bowler like me getting the first over in every match. As I excelled in the following years, it was as much as a triumph for him as it was for me. I have opened bowling several times now, even so for my team in college, but it still doesnt compare with the thrill that I used to experience when Bablu tossed me the ball.
Over the years I have taken Bablu's place and tried to do for kids like Debu and Nachiket what Bablu did for me. Its such a high to see them grow into such good players.

***

During my engineering, holi became just another holiday. Last year when I worked with Siemens, it ceased to be even that. I spent the that holi in the office. Ofcourse we did throw a little customary colour around. Too bad our German boss took a leave that day (clever fellow), we had decided to give him a taste of Indian festivities (if you know what I mean). So we spent the day working a little and forwarding mails a lot, which is good thing, coz the next day I had my friends (who worked in Indian companies which were more considerate to their needs of soaking themselves in colour on holi) send me queries like -
"Dude? yesterday wasnt a holiday??"
To which I replied - "Nahi re, was in the office. "
"hehe, dude!! no holiday on holi-day?? hehe he"(yeah, thats the level of jokes we crack)
"No re, had to work.. Have to finish this project before the German boss leaves for home. If I dont the assembly line in Berlin will have serious problems. Thousands of euros down the drain I tell you."
"Doood!!!"
He was in deep awe. He must have thought that I was the VP (Assembly lines) Siemens AG. Here, it should be noted that he was an IT guy and for him assembly lines was pretty much the lines we stood in before the morning prayer back in school.
But I did hear him telling my other friends - "Abbe! Arshat kaam karta hai bey!!"(his eyes and the eyes of the one hearing this statement as big as saucers)

***

Last confession - I will be celebrating this holi with my cousins, it gonna be fun. I know for a fact that Aroop's favourite isnt MJ any more. So I wont get any - "Abbe Michael Jackson nahi malum? kya dance karta hai bey woh..". He might ask me questions on Metallica though- showoff I tell you :P
My dad is abroad so he wont be joining us. But I would be cool even if he was there. Coz now whatever happens, I wont splash myself with balloons to look the part...

Happy Holi everyone.






















My 2007 holi post here
 Of Holi and that confession thingySocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

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24 letters to the editor  

One bedroom extra...

Inspired from a mail that a friend mailed me...
This story is purely ficitional..
Update: Its not tht I believe in the story or anything.. I just developed a short story which a friend had mailed me..

Dated: 17 August 2047

As I sit at my desk by the window, I can see that its raining heavily outside.. The wind sprays raindrops on my e-writer as I scribble this story in..I can see the Queens necklace from my window. The waves lashing against the tetrapod barricades.. Its weird how much it rains nowadays.. Or maybe it just seems like that from my 24th floor 2BHK apartment on Marine drive. They had to demolish two colonial style old buildings that stood here to make way for this one..
















The day before, India celebrated its 100th anniversary of freedom.. Freedom..Its is such a word.. I remember when I wanted to be free. But that was long ago.. That was when I was 40 or maybe 30.. I am 62 now and I think I am free, but I dont feel free.. I feel incomplete, and I dont know why..

I did my Computer Engineering from the best college in my state.. I topped the university exams in the 3rd and the final year.. My mom and dad, both teachers in a govt. college had worked all their life to give me the best education they could. Their joy knew no bounds when I got selected in one of the most coveted universities in the US...

It was a dream for most middle class parents who stayed in 1BHK apartment in the central suburbs of the city... It was the middle class Indian dream to get settled in the US around the early 2000s. It was the love for everything foreign and dollars ofcourse when it was stronger.. Kids nowadays dont believe that there was a time when 1$ was equal to 40 Indian rupees.. Seems like such a joke now.. Another joke is the electric cars these people are selling nowadays. They dont even feel like cars. I miss the petrol cars they had in olden days.. But with petrol prices hitting Rs.1373/ litre, I dont think we can afford them anymore..

I worked for Apple once I got my MS degree... I remember my uncle telling me, "Beta, work in the US for a few years if you want, but come back to India once you earn enough dollars.. settle down here.. This is where the heart is..." He was right.. My heart was here in India.. But you know what? You never know how many dollars are enough dollars...

When I was working in Apple, I met a beautiful American girl.. Her name was Catherine... She had the nicest smile and prettiest blue eyes and long golden curls... Though her looks were American, she was very Indian in more than one way.. She was shy and was religious and she believed in a lot of things Indian girls believe in...

My parents didnt approve of her ofcourse, and her parents werent too excited bout me either.. The cultural divide started to show, and I decided in the favour of my family's wishes.." If I dont marry you, I wont marry at all...", Catherine once told me... I got married to a beautiful girl from my caste in the 12 days leave that I had been granted the next year.. I was amazed at the number of families who wanted their daughters married off to a engg in the US.. My dad started looking for a bride just a month before my marriage, and he says that there were a little over a hundred proposals that I had got in just the first week!!

Once we were back in the US, my wife, Ragini, found it difficult to get adjusted there.. I was getting promoted in office and I was setting up my own business, I rarely got time home.. My 8 to 10 routine irritated her.. But I had to do it for my future.. I was gonna have kids someday.. And education in the US is goddamn costly.. I wanted them to get the best possible education, just like my parents had wanted for me..

We were blessed with a baby girl-Revati and then in 4 years a baby boy-Arkaj.. I loved them so much and I so wanted to spend time with them, but I was a slave to my job and could never be around.. I became a Sunday dad..

My dad told me before I was leaving for the states, "Once you come back here, we can buy a 2BHK house, just like we always wanted.. And then you and your wife and me and my wife can live together.." I remember smiling sheepishly at the mention of my marriage... He winked at me with a mischievous smile.. He expired one year after Arkaj was born.. I kissed his hand and said, "Sorry, I couldnt buy that 2BHK flat... Sorry, me and my wife and you and your wife couldnt live together".
I left the evening they cremated him. I offered mom to come with me to the US.. She refused..

The years flew and Revati started dating, most of the guys were American and called her Revs or sumthing like that.. I didnt like any of them, they just didnt seem like the guys my daughter should be dating..

I lost my job in the recession of 2039. I was 54 then..I lost a lot of money in my business. But I still had enough reserves to last me 5 years till I figured out what to do next.. I chose to come back to India like I always wanted.. My wife was too happy. My kids werent. Revati was in love with an American Andrew who taught psychology at her university. He was a full 10 years older than her. We didnt approve of the match, but somehow we werent important anymore.. Arkaj was studying Engineering in Boston university and couldnt possibly join us here..

My dad always wanted to live by the sea and he always wanted a 2BHK, so with all the money I made in the last 20yrs, I put in a 2BHK apartment near Marine Drive. I was stunned to see how much the realty rates had gone up in these 30 years...

3 years ago Ragini expired.. She was diagnosed with cancer. I arranged for the best of doctors. They couldnt help much. Revati came to India when we cremated her, she stayed with me for a week... Arkaj had to leave the next evening..
Arkaj offered me to live with him in the US.. I refused...

Revati gave birth to a lovely baby girl, they say shes got Andrew's blue eyes. Arkaj got married two years ago. The girl is Indian. Things didnt go well between them..Arkaj tells me that he will soon be filing for divorce. Catherine expired from a heart attack last year, a friend told me. She had made a huge loss on the stock market crash.. She never did marry...

As I stroll around my empty apartment, I wonder what I have earned in all these years... I wonder if my dad earned any less than me.. My dad owned a 1BHK in Ghatkopar.. I own a 2BHK near Marine Drive.. As I look by all the lost years, I wonder where did the years go.. My kids had never known their dad.. I didnt give enough time to my wife.. I was with not with my parents when they wanted me..

And at the end of all this, do I own more than my parents did.. What do I have that my parents didnt? What did I get for doing all this...All this for what?All this for a 2BHK? All this for one bedroom extra?

The End. One bedroom extra...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , , , , , ,
6 letters to the editor  

Cricket in the rain......

Last week Mumbai got its first rains. We were playing cricket when it started to rain.. We continued to play in the rain. The musings (calling this a poem will be like calling Sunny deol a pole dancer..)below tht I have tried being poetic at are inspired from that evening and many other such evenings.
http://static.flickr.com/41/85948566_5d9fd91993.jpg
The ground I am talking about here is the Esis ground, though it isnt very big, its to me what Eden is to Ganguly. Its my home ground(in the true sense.. Its just outside my house..).



More Lightening More rain...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1470000/images/_1471134_cricket_rain_300.jpg

I love this ground... I have been here many years around..
I have played a zillion games here u know, I have a million bruises on my knee to show..

Love this ground more, when it rains and pours..
Its raining now and its good as it gets, mud rain grass and sweat..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Its a war here, am covered with cuts and scratches..
Take all those catches kid..coz Catches win matches..

Run saved, elbow bruised, I dont bowl a wide
Every ball bowled sends shivers (sic!) down their spine

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

I bowl with the aim at your heart.. The ball just skids off the wet pitch fast..
Bulls eye..Skid, slip hes on the ground.. Dont mess with me son, Right arm around..

Fast i m bowling ...130s down your throat..okay?
The ball kisses the stump off the ground.. It a wicket.. Die another day..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

I am burning inside, the cold rain turns to steam,
When I run in to bowl, they say its a dream..

Is it sweat or is it rain?
I have been running from ages now, m drained.. m drained..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Ran the first run quickly, turn for the second one..
Gods seem to be watching, thunder on every run

The pitch is now slippery, as slippery as grease..
I still come down the wicket boy, I wont stay behind the crease..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Dancing down the wicket, to the pitch of the ball
you can catch the ball on the boundary dude, but u gotta be 13 feet tall

Over the top in the air the ball outta ground..
A lightening just strikes then, the second time around..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Inswing, out swing they all get hammered..
This match is just swinging our way, just the way we plannered..

I am what I am.. I try my best...
I got Reebok printed, right across my chest...

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Strike here and a strike there, the winning runs get scored..
The opponents arent gonna play the next game, man they r sore..

Handshakes all around, well played mate..
off field we arent blood thirsty, we sure can be friends..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Post match chat:
Boy 1: kal aa raha hai kya?
Boy 2: nahi be.. exam hai
Boy 1: Shit! tera shirt dekh.. kitna dirty ho gaya hai..
Boy 2: Mummy daategi re..
Boy 1: Mujhe toh ghar ke andar bhi nahi lenge.. I just hope mujhe kapde na dhone bole!
Boy 2: hehehe.. Best of luck with that!

Dedicated to everyone who has played on the Esis ground: Pranay-Abhi, sonu-monu, babloo-papu, Deepak, sid-viraj, Prekshit-Apekshit, Swapnil, Abhishek, Tanay, Faraz-Sarim, Chetan, Pakshi, Tinu-Debu, sudhir, girish, swanand-pintu, tejas, pranav, rajas
Update:
Adding my cousins who have played a fair deal of matches on this ground: Aroop-chotu
 Cricket in the rain......SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , , , , ,
13 letters to the editor  

I-am-what-I-am!

One of my friends says that I never talk about myself... I got this in an email from her, and decided to put it up on the blog...



1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? - my name means one who knows everything... Its not a noun, its an adjective used for God

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? - Men dont cry! We hunt..We kill duck..We eat raw meat..We no cry!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? - yes, its another thing tht others dont :P

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAL? - i like dal chawal with buttermilk and a lot of other side dishes (wht? i like to eat!)

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? - none tht i know of!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? - Yeah, i am a nice guy!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? - with close friends only

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes ..

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? - No..if AXN and world's most amazing videos have taught me anything, i wouldnt!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? - Nope..dont like any

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? - hahahaah...i love this one..no, i dont!

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? - yeah...though not ass-kicking strong, i am strong enuf not to let my ass get kicked

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? - coffee almond

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? - depends on whether the person is a guy or a girl!

15. RED OR PINK? - red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? - tht i find it difficult to dedicate myself to one thing..this is my least fav thing bout myself

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? -my kid sister..miss her big time..noones here to laugh at my silly jokes now..

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? yep

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? - grey pants and no shoes(why was this ques included? )

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? -uttapa.....

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Pehli Nazar by Atif Aslam from Race...imagine me listening to a hindi song! But this ones the best since Doorie..

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? - Fluorescent Orange..I rem kids fighting over it..

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? - Dettol, Jai soap, the Cologne tht u get on Indian Airlines flights, tea(when its being made), Gillette roll-on

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? - Akshay Sukhtankar..hes a classmate who now works in the same firm as me..

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? - yeah i do..shes pretty cool

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? - liked cricket but lost interest after Ganguly was dropped from the team...

27. HAIR COLOR? Black, coloured brown

28. EYE COLOR? - black

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? - no..my eyes r too sensitive

30. FAVORITE FOOD? - anything thts vegetarian and spicy will do..i hav a weakness for paneer and mushrooms

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? - happy endings..i love them (I hope I dont come across as girlish razz)

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? - Mithya..loved it, except the ending....

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? - dark blue Tshirt, actually its SPCE's mech Tshirt...

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? -winter afternoons..Diwali vacations if I can get them..

35. HUGS OR KISSES? - Cant I get both? Hugs I guess..

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? - not much of a dessert person actually... i like to have fruit salad though..

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - Arshat!

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - hero, boss , guru :P

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? - blink! It was given to me by a friend, and the literary genius tht i am, i hav been trying to complete it from the last 1 month

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? - er..a mouse!!?

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? - Simpsons, My wife and Kids and Sarabhai vs Sarabhai

42. FAVORITE SOUND? - bagpiper, guitar, birds chirping, mooing cows with bells round their necks

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? - Havent heard them.. But arent Rolling stones those skinny guys with swollen lips..why are they so hyped?

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? - I hav been to London once. I hope this is not one of those philosophical questions...razz

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? - Yeah, i can climb up walls and stop high speed trains with my left hand..mrgreen

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a hospital wink

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? - yours mrgreen I-am-what-I-am!SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , ,
3 letters to the editor  

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