The TimePass of India

I know everything except what women want!
-Anon

I am never gonna understand Women..er..Girls. Its girls till I get 32 or get married (whichever comes last!)

Now mankind (I mean the manly kind) has never been able to understand the womankind(is tht a word?). The other day I had coffee with one my sweetest female friends. The topic shifted to girls which is probably the only interesting topic we cud talk bout.

Me being a mech engg. have lost complete touch with the womankind. The girls in Engg werent my type so never really pursued any... The girls tht usually make it in engg are the tomboyish types while I like more of the girlie types and no, girlie doesnt necessarily mean those girls who spend hours in front of the mirror... My interpretition of girlie girls is tht they are simple, smart and shy...
Now dont judge me! (Btw, googling - simple, smart and shy shows 1,900,000 results. One question - Where the heck are they!?@#)

Back to the topic - So we were talkin bout why mech engineers suck at making female friends and it turns out tht its coz we dont understand girls...

Heres the conversation:-

Me: So u saying I dont understand girls?
She: Well dumbo, I feel u dont get it! You dont call ur girls, dont send them flowers...u dont even remember their Bdays!!!
Me: Oye? Girls expect me to call everyday?
She: Yes, donko! 10 times a day!
Me: But wudnt I be disturbing her if I call her 10 times a day?
She: Nope...We love it!
Me: U crazy!
She: (giggles) No, u crazy!


I dont get it!! I get disturbed even when my Mom calls me when I am in my office. Plus how am I supposed to express my feelings? ...We men! We hunt! We fight! We drink directly from the carton! We DONT express our feelings...Asking us to express our feelings is like asking Shoaib Akhtar to bowl leg-spin!

One wonders, if God made hormones (Ignoring wht Charles Darwin preaches) why didnt he put in the same ones in both guys and girls? I guess thts coz he knew opposites attract.

Maybe opposites do attract. So does tht make me - complicated, foolish and bold!?
Er..I dont think so...

Theres another twist...
I always thought these qualities tht I find attractive were necessarily physical (no, not sexual...physical..Theres a difference!!)
But in the last few weeks I have found tht its not all physical...

There is this girl, who was a yr junior to me in my school. She was a mixture of all the said qualities and more...She was all sweet and giggly and schoolgirlish... And obviously I did like her...But at 15, u dont try and analyze why u like sumone...

Now shes settled outside the country, and we chat almost everyday. Chattin is the next best thing to talkin... You can get to know a lot bout the person, how he/she would react to a situation, her wit, sense of humour etc. etc. And man, isnt she amazing!

The point here is , its been ages since we met in 3-D, but I still like her. There is a fair chance tht my brain still interprets her as a giggly girl who wore braces as a kid and maybe it(my brain) is surprised at the amount of maturity and wit she has... Maybe thts one of the reasons I like her so much...

So u see? My brain can solve calculus and mechanics but it is as lost as Schumacher in Mumbai traffic when it comes to feelings...
Its like tht movie - I,Robot in which the robot saves Will Smith and not the little girl coz it calculates tht Will has a 42% chance of survival and the girl has only a 12% chance. It lets her die.

12% wasnt less...

Only if we were hardwired better


Me: Ok, So you mean, I shud send her flowers and choclates? Tht sounds so High-Schoolish. Actually it is outright foolish!
She: Be as practical as u want with the outside world... But with a girl u gotta be foolish...
Me: Foolish?!
She: Yes donko!
Me: U crazy
She:(giggles) No, u crazy! Girls!! Will I ever understand them!

This is my 100th post. Now that I look at the days gone by(at the posts gone by rather) I cant help noticing that I love some post better than others. After a lot of analysis I now present 26 of my fav posts.

I have listed below my favourite post over the last 300 days that I have been blogging.

Most of these posts are very close to my heart for different reasons. Its amazing how much we learn about ourselves when we look back at the days gone by.

Here are the posts which have made you laugh, cry and sometimes even think.

My placements- When the vacations finally began

India Win T20 World cup

Its amazing what men can do!

Of Siemens, cookies and Damsels

Panner Hakka Noodles

Those were the days

The last day of Engineering

IIT JEE-Mumbai Tops!

A F1 driver

Hair I go again!

To prove a point

Schlumberger

The farewell

Ties and sarees

The Diary of...??

Of Gujus, colours and Holi

I just played my natural game

There is GOLD in Mulund

Games ppl play

Bhule toh nahi

The good life continues @ Juhu

In love with Sid Ashara

Nostalgia

SPCE Lingo

The curse of the Thief

There is something about Chetan! My Best Posts ever

I am not among those ppl who would post Urdu poems on their blog...Infact I hate sms shayaris...But there are some of my majnu friends who have blood relatives in Airtel....They somehow keep sending me all these "Tere naam" type shayaris.. Now, me being a nice guy tht I am, I cant ask them to remove me off their messaging lists.

But the other day, I read this sms tht my friend sent me...

I am gonna write it below...Read it slowly...Try and picture it, u wud like it tht way..



Uski ankho mein mohobbat ki chamak aaj bhi hai..

Use mere pyaar pe shak aaj bhi hai...

Naav mein baithkar dhoye the haath kabhi usne...

Saare talab mein mehndi ki mahek aaj bhi hai....




For my readers in the US, UK, France and Italy - here is the somewhat crude translation

Her eyes sparkle with my love still
She aint sure bout it though
Her hands touched the lake waters once
It fragrances of mehndi* still...

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi

Pardon my utter disregard for Urdu and English grammar.
Man, I suck at English poems..




Shayari

http://www.google.com/searc...india%27s+most+wanted+timepass

Sometimes I like to go on a ego trip...Actually, I love to go on ego trips..The reason - coz they are the only trips tht need no money and no sick leaves. I say sick leaves coz as Trainees we are not allowed casual leaves... So, sick or not, Sick leaves it is! I have already taken half of my alloted sick leaves... My colleagues must think what a sick person I am...

Coming back to the topic... I was just going on one of my trips when I came across this...

Search for india's most wanted timepass in Google... Who tops the list??? Yeah..yours truly! The Time Pass Of India.

I didnt think I wud make it to the top this soon... And I would like to thank my friends whose antics I have posted... I wud also like to thank all my readers who have too much free time and who are kind enough to read the gibberish tht I produce...

I wud also like to thank the idiots at WordPress. Had it not been for their stupidity I could have never been india's most wanted timepass! (If u wanna know wht happened at WordPress read this!)

This blogger knows this means nuthing...its just a bug in Google's algo... Phir bhi yaar, why waste a chance to blow ur trumpet!


india's most wanted timepass

I got this mail yesterday....I m sure all you engineering guys must have read this one...
I am pasting it here for all my non-engineering friends...there are not many...I guess they were pissed off by my not spending time with them...Sorry guys! This post will confirm tht we are basically lazy and jobless people who coz of their own Time mismanagement have no time when it comes to spending time with their friends....

There has been a lot of fiddling around by me with the original mail...This has lead to the ruining of a perfectly sane email...



Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!



On being Late

"I overslept" (this is a Arshat Chaudhary special)
"Was caught up in the Traffic at SV Road"(Most Profs who have seen SV Road buy this excuse)
(classic) " Train was late" (Everybody who stays more than 10 kms from the college in Mumbai is allowed this excuse)



During Lecture

"Biscuit hai kya? Bhook lagi hai" (This is a SPCE mech special)
"Rahul ka assignment 3 tere paas hai??"
"Yeh double lecture hai kya?"
"Yeh kya sikha raha hai??!"

(classic)"Journal sheet hai??"


Lab
"Practicals hone wala hai?" (Again a SPCE special)
"Expt. 1 likha??"
"Attendance ho gaya??"

(classic)"Karna kya hai??"



Unit Test
"Yeh kab sikha ke kab hua??"
(classic)"Aaj kounsa test hai?"


late submission of assignments

"SOM ka last date extend hua thaa"
(classic)"I didnt know the last date"



VIVA (b4 exam)
"submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Dekh Boss !! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai......(ekdum emotional )"



VIVA (after exam)
"yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"
"achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"
"ye subject ka reference book kaunsa hai"
"Vidyalankar mein to alag hai"





VIVA (general)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala , then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"

(Classic) "Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"
When is Sardar Patel's bday? (This ques was actually asked in SPCE..Sardar Patel College of Engg.)




Submission
" Ye bhi chhapna hai kya??"
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

(classic)"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

(classic conversation)

A: Ye tune kya likha hai / teri handwriting aisi kyun hai?

B: Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal

maine Mahesh se likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.

Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nah samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de.


EXAM
"Jo (mujhe)aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"
"tere paas Daji ke notes hai??"
" nahi samjha to rat le "

(classic..... when someone is intensively doing his last revision) "Yeh nahi aayega !!!"

Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!

Its been ages since I posted. So here goes..
This post is bout my placements. SPCE is known for its amazing placements. This was one of the reasons why I joined SP.

Our placements began on the 19 June just 10 days after our 6 sem exams got over. I wanted to get selected as soon as possible, not because I wanted to get in the best cos (the best cos usually visit first) but because I wanted to enjoy my vacations. I didnt even wanna sit for the interviews...I didnt wanna work in a 9 to 5 job (btw I do tht nowadays..n its not tht bad!)...

The first company tht visited us was Bajaj Auto. Clearing the apti was the least of my worries. I am good at clearing Aptitude tests. The only apti I didnt clear was the Bajaj autowalla apti (Bajaj autowala- pun intended!) And tht was because of a wrong question in their apti...I missed by one question, and had to return home...

Next day it was LnT...Now, I had heard really bad things bout them (no offense meant) and was in no mood to attend their aptitude test...I gave the apti for the heck of it, cleared it, and gave the interview. The interview was the fun part...The interviewer asked me questions bout IC engine and mechanics(the fav of my subjects)...Then he asked me one question bout metallurgy...This is one of my worse subjects..I have an allergy of meta-allergy...I faltered...He smiled, just like Brett Lee smiled when he knew Sehwag couldnt play balls targeted into his rib-cage..!
He did it to me what Lee(How come an Australian is named Lee?) would do to Sehwag! He tested me in Metallurgy...Tht was the end of my innings...Btw Kunal(one of the my "dirty dozen" group) made it to LnT...
I went home feeling sorry for myself..Why? I have no idea!

The day after, on 22nd june, it was Siemens...Cleared the apti, waited for the interviews...About 20 of us had cleared the apti...Looking at the quality of guys nd girls selected for the interview I stood no chance...But I aint no quitter nd I was getting bored of travelling to the Andheri(my college) everyday for interviews...I wanted this job real bad...
I took the 17th spot for the interview...I wanted some time to brush up on my metallurgy...
The interviews took a lot of time...My chance came at 9 in the night...The interview did not go very well..The interviewers did to me what Sourav Ganguly does to left arm spinners!
I came out sure tht I wont be selected...But there were only 3 more guys to go, so I decided to wait...

By 9:30 all the interviews were over...They took half an hour to decide on whom they were gonna recruit...But it seemed lot more than half an hour! I was making myself think tht Tata Power is gonna come tomorrow... I wud make it tomorrow...I had completely given up on Siemens, after all they wanted only 3 students from mech...3 out of 20, wht chance did I stand?..

Then he came out of the TPO, the HR head from Siemens..Everybody gathered around him...I stood away from the crowd, near the doorway, so tht I cud leave as soon as he finished calling out the names.

The first name he called out was "Akshay Sukhtankar".Akshay almost leaped onto him...Hi fives all around...Next was "Rohit Apte". The next name he called out was "Komelabbas Lakhani"..Not selecting him would be such a mistake...

Thts it 3 names called out...thts all they wanted..3 guys frm SP...they were recruiting from Somaiya the next day...
I turned around and took a step towards the doorway...Thts when he called out the 4th name? What? 4th name? "Arshat Chaudhary".... What the?Who? me?how?they said they wanted only 3 guys!But he called my name out..loud and clear...Know how it is when u prick a balloon? It happened to me!

Navin shook hands with me, someone patted my back, ppl congratulated me, I dont remember if I answered...I had blacked out...

I remember breaking the news to my mother and my dad...I called up Aroop and Rohit and few more guys who were pretty close to me...Congratulatory messages started pouring in on my cell...

Even at 11 in the night I didnt get a place to sit in the train, but all of a sudden, it didnt matter
anymore..The Vacations had finally begun...

P.S.-They didnt recruit anyone from Somaiya mech the next day. For any Somaiya guys reading this post, you know whom to blame! My placements - When the Vacations finally begun...

We knocked out the daylights out of Pakistan to win the first ever T20 World cup...Cant find the words to express myself...the adrenaline is still flowing through my veins...My palms are hurting from all the clapping I have done in the last 2 hours...Not much blood going to my brain now...The noise of crackers is deafening here in Mulund...The crowd has gone berserk...There are kids on the street howling...though I hate so much noise nd howling, I just cant stop howling myself...


I ran the queue for the bus today while returning from office today so tht I wont lose the start of the match...Quite unlikely of me and others since recently the interest in cricket has decreased(there were a lot others who jumped the line). And what a match it has been...Some good bowling from Pakistani bowlers saw India scoring a mediocre score of 157. On on pitch tht was a belter anything less than 180 was gettable...
Pakistan got off to a flyer, lost its way in the middle overs and gave India the jitters in the final overs..Some good bowling from the Indians saw them through..

One thing tht you wud notice bout this side is tht it is Fearless... A good captain is the one who injects his personality into his team... Dhoni has done just tht!! Just makes me think if he is the captain tht India need...A young side whom no one gave a chance...today are the World Champions! Wonder when was the last time we looked tht good...2003 World Cup I guess...


Wonder what these two young men, the Pathan brothers must be thinking ... They must have led their team to victories in the gully matches tht they wud have played as kids...who wud hav thought they wud feature in the team tht wud win a world cup final!!!


Dhoni will tell his grandchildren tht he captained the side tht won the T20 World cup...Yuvraj would brag to his friends about his 6*6s while gulping down Patiala pegs when he gets 60 yrs old.. RP would narrate stories bout his line and length...

The best thing about this tournament is tht there is no single player responsible for this victory...Everyone has played a part somewhere...

Its was only a 20-20 tournament...But we really needed this cup...We really did...!!

India celebrate victory at the end of the ICC World Twenty20 final, Johannesburg, September 24, 2007

Dhoni and co - Thankyou for the memories....

India wins T20 world cup!!!