The TimePass of India

Inspired from a mail that a friend mailed me...
This story is purely ficitional..
Update: Its not tht I believe in the story or anything.. I just developed a short story which a friend had mailed me..

Dated: 17 August 2047

As I sit at my desk by the window, I can see that its raining heavily outside.. The wind sprays raindrops on my e-writer as I scribble this story in..I can see the Queens necklace from my window. The waves lashing against the tetrapod barricades.. Its weird how much it rains nowadays.. Or maybe it just seems like that from my 24th floor 2BHK apartment on Marine drive. They had to demolish two colonial style old buildings that stood here to make way for this one..
















The day before, India celebrated its 100th anniversary of freedom.. Freedom..Its is such a word.. I remember when I wanted to be free. But that was long ago.. That was when I was 40 or maybe 30.. I am 62 now and I think I am free, but I dont feel free.. I feel incomplete, and I dont know why..

I did my Computer Engineering from the best college in my state.. I topped the university exams in the 3rd and the final year.. My mom and dad, both teachers in a govt. college had worked all their life to give me the best education they could. Their joy knew no bounds when I got selected in one of the most coveted universities in the US...

It was a dream for most middle class parents who stayed in 1BHK apartment in the central suburbs of the city... It was the middle class Indian dream to get settled in the US around the early 2000s. It was the love for everything foreign and dollars ofcourse when it was stronger.. Kids nowadays dont believe that there was a time when 1$ was equal to 40 Indian rupees.. Seems like such a joke now.. Another joke is the electric cars these people are selling nowadays. They dont even feel like cars. I miss the petrol cars they had in olden days.. But with petrol prices hitting Rs.1373/ litre, I dont think we can afford them anymore..

I worked for Apple once I got my MS degree... I remember my uncle telling me, "Beta, work in the US for a few years if you want, but come back to India once you earn enough dollars.. settle down here.. This is where the heart is..." He was right.. My heart was here in India.. But you know what? You never know how many dollars are enough dollars...

When I was working in Apple, I met a beautiful American girl.. Her name was Catherine... She had the nicest smile and prettiest blue eyes and long golden curls... Though her looks were American, she was very Indian in more than one way.. She was shy and was religious and she believed in a lot of things Indian girls believe in...

My parents didnt approve of her ofcourse, and her parents werent too excited bout me either.. The cultural divide started to show, and I decided in the favour of my family's wishes.." If I dont marry you, I wont marry at all...", Catherine once told me... I got married to a beautiful girl from my caste in the 12 days leave that I had been granted the next year.. I was amazed at the number of families who wanted their daughters married off to a engg in the US.. My dad started looking for a bride just a month before my marriage, and he says that there were a little over a hundred proposals that I had got in just the first week!!

Once we were back in the US, my wife, Ragini, found it difficult to get adjusted there.. I was getting promoted in office and I was setting up my own business, I rarely got time home.. My 8 to 10 routine irritated her.. But I had to do it for my future.. I was gonna have kids someday.. And education in the US is goddamn costly.. I wanted them to get the best possible education, just like my parents had wanted for me..

We were blessed with a baby girl-Revati and then in 4 years a baby boy-Arkaj.. I loved them so much and I so wanted to spend time with them, but I was a slave to my job and could never be around.. I became a Sunday dad..

My dad told me before I was leaving for the states, "Once you come back here, we can buy a 2BHK house, just like we always wanted.. And then you and your wife and me and my wife can live together.." I remember smiling sheepishly at the mention of my marriage... He winked at me with a mischievous smile.. He expired one year after Arkaj was born.. I kissed his hand and said, "Sorry, I couldnt buy that 2BHK flat... Sorry, me and my wife and you and your wife couldnt live together".
I left the evening they cremated him. I offered mom to come with me to the US.. She refused..

The years flew and Revati started dating, most of the guys were American and called her Revs or sumthing like that.. I didnt like any of them, they just didnt seem like the guys my daughter should be dating..

I lost my job in the recession of 2039. I was 54 then..I lost a lot of money in my business. But I still had enough reserves to last me 5 years till I figured out what to do next.. I chose to come back to India like I always wanted.. My wife was too happy. My kids werent. Revati was in love with an American Andrew who taught psychology at her university. He was a full 10 years older than her. We didnt approve of the match, but somehow we werent important anymore.. Arkaj was studying Engineering in Boston university and couldnt possibly join us here..

My dad always wanted to live by the sea and he always wanted a 2BHK, so with all the money I made in the last 20yrs, I put in a 2BHK apartment near Marine Drive. I was stunned to see how much the realty rates had gone up in these 30 years...

3 years ago Ragini expired.. She was diagnosed with cancer. I arranged for the best of doctors. They couldnt help much. Revati came to India when we cremated her, she stayed with me for a week... Arkaj had to leave the next evening..
Arkaj offered me to live with him in the US.. I refused...

Revati gave birth to a lovely baby girl, they say shes got Andrew's blue eyes. Arkaj got married two years ago. The girl is Indian. Things didnt go well between them..Arkaj tells me that he will soon be filing for divorce. Catherine expired from a heart attack last year, a friend told me. She had made a huge loss on the stock market crash.. She never did marry...

As I stroll around my empty apartment, I wonder what I have earned in all these years... I wonder if my dad earned any less than me.. My dad owned a 1BHK in Ghatkopar.. I own a 2BHK near Marine Drive.. As I look by all the lost years, I wonder where did the years go.. My kids had never known their dad.. I didnt give enough time to my wife.. I was with not with my parents when they wanted me..

And at the end of all this, do I own more than my parents did.. What do I have that my parents didnt? What did I get for doing all this...All this for what?All this for a 2BHK? All this for one bedroom extra?

The End. One bedroom extra...

Last week Mumbai got its first rains. We were playing cricket when it started to rain.. We continued to play in the rain. The musings (calling this a poem will be like calling Sunny deol a pole dancer..)below tht I have tried being poetic at are inspired from that evening and many other such evenings.

The ground I am talking about here is the Esis ground, though it isnt very big, its to me what Eden is to Ganguly. Its my home ground(in the true sense.. Its just outside my house..).



More Lightening More rain...



I love this ground... I have been here many years around..
I have played a zillion games here u know, I have a million bruises on my knee to show..

Love this ground more, when it rains and pours..
Its raining now and its good as it gets, mud rain grass and sweat..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Its a war here, am covered with cuts and scratches..
Take all those catches kid..coz Catches win matches..

Run saved, elbow bruised, I dont bowl a wide
Every ball bowled sends shivers (sic!) down their spine

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

I bowl with the aim at your heart.. The ball just skids off the wet pitch fast..
Bulls eye..Skid, slip hes on the ground.. Dont mess with me son, Right arm around..

Fast i m bowling ...130s down your throat..okay?
The ball kisses the stump off the ground.. It a wicket.. Die another day..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

I am burning inside, the cold rain turns to steam,
When I run in to bowl, they say its a dream..

Is it sweat or is it rain?
I have been running from ages now, m drained.. m drained..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Ran the first run quickly, turn for the second one..
Gods seem to be watching, thunder on every run

The pitch is now slippery, as slippery as grease..
I still come down the wicket boy, I wont stay behind the crease..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Dancing down the wicket, to the pitch of the ball
you can catch the ball on the boundary dude, but u gotta be 13 feet tall

Over the top in the air the ball outta ground..
A lightening just strikes then, the second time around..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Inswing, out swing they all get hammered..
This match is just swinging our way, just the way we plannered..

I am what I am.. I try my best...
I got Reebok printed, right across my chest...

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

Strike here and a strike there, the winning runs get scored..
The opponents arent gonna play the next game, man they r sore..

Handshakes all around, well played mate..
off field we arent blood thirsty, we sure can be friends..

(chorus)More Lightening more rain..
No pain, No pain(chorus)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Post match chat:
Boy 1: kal aa raha hai kya?
Boy 2: nahi be.. exam hai
Boy 1: Shit! tera shirt dekh.. kitna dirty ho gaya hai..
Boy 2: Mummy daategi re..
Boy 1: Mujhe toh ghar ke andar bhi nahi lenge.. I just hope mujhe kapde na dhone bole!
Boy 2: hehehe.. Best of luck with that!

Dedicated to everyone who has played on the Esis ground: Pranay-Abhi, sonu-monu, babloo-papu, Deepak, sid-viraj, Prekshit-Apekshit, Swapnil, Abhishek, Tanay, Faraz-Sarim, Chetan, Pakshi, Tinu-Debu, sudhir, girish, swanand-pintu, tejas, pranav, rajas
Update:
Adding my cousins who have played a fair deal of matches on this ground: Aroop-chotu
Cricket in the rain......

Mumbai aapko jeena sikhati hai... -Manoj Bajpai (An excerpt from an interview)

I hated travelling to college..Its a long 2 hour travel one-way(subject of another post). It starts with finding a rickshaw to Mulund station and ends with you getting all sweaty and covered with grime and dirt as you reach Andheri. And your day hasnt even started yet...

Now that I have cribbed enough, let me start on my story. This story is dated 26 July 2005

9:44am-I enter the classroom. 44 mins late for the 9 am lecture.
9:47-Imran enters the classroom. Of all the days I have come late, this man has always topped my record. Btw, Imran stays in Lokhandwala and it takes him 10mins to reach college
10:05- There's been a light drizzle all morning. By now it has started raining as it does in July..
12:00-Its been raining in the true Mumbaiya style for the past 2 hrs... Some guys in the class are thinking of cancelling the practicals at 2:00pm
12:05-Calls are made to the lecturer concerned, he turns down all requests of a cancellation.
1:00- Lunch break. Some guys get down to the ground floor to the canteen and find water gushing in slowly.
1:15- Word spreads. Franctic calls all around. Calls made to the lecturer. It seems he hasnt made it to college yet. Hes out sumwhere in Andheri W running errands in office time ofcourse. Welcome to the only Govt Engineering college in Mumbai.
2:10-No sign of the lecturer. Some guys start leaving. More calls made.
2:30- Lecturer calls some guys cell, only to say tht he wont be coming today. Precious 20 mins lost.
2:35-Koli, Chetan and I start what will be the most unforgetable journey of our lives.
We wade through knee deep water outside college, but tth is normal in the month of July. Its not raining now, just a light drizzle. We dont really understand the gravity of the situation.
3:07- We take the train to dadar.
3:27- The train moves smoothly. We reach dadar. No one has the slightest idea that the journey from here will make us change our outlook towards life. This journey will test our will to fight. This journey will show us whether we are strong enough.
3:33- Dadar central. Trains are running awfully late. A train arrives ever so slowly. You could see ppl hanging out from the doors.Its raining cats and dogs now, and the ones hanging out are wet to the bone... Trains dont run this full at 3 pm in the afternoon. Something was wrong here..
Chetan got into the train, me and koli tried gettin in, but couldnt make it in..
3:35- Call Chetan - "Abbe tu ghus gaya kya?" "Haan.. chod next train se aa ja.." "thik hai..chal bye"
3:44- We get into the next train. As it turns out, this will be the last train to move out of dadar station tht day. The train moves ever so slowly through Matunga, Sion.. you could actually hear the train cutting through 1 feet of water on the tracks. Then it comes to a halt at Kurla station.
4:20- Its been 15 mins since the local has been standing there. Locals dont stand for more than 15 secs at any station. Something was definitely wrong. Call Chetan- No network available. All networks down.
4:30- Koli and I discuss the chances of this train moving. Ofcourse the downpour has to stop, and once it does the train will get out of here and we will reach home. We were cursing ourselves for waiting for the lecturers call. We shud hav left by 12 noon itself.
5:30- we are still inside the train, we are wet and hungry and tired. I go out to the station to take a leak, when I come back, I see tht the water level is only a feet below the level of the platform. Its still raining and doesnt look like its gonna stop anytime soon. Then it dawns on me, this train aint going nowhere... There is no way I m gonna spend the night in the train.



5:35-
We decide tht we will get out from the west side of Kurla to the bus depot. From there we will take a Bus to mulund. We got out of the station only to find water everywhere. Almost 3 feet deep. Change of plan, we will get out from Kurla E and then walk to the Eastern express highway. "Highway nahi doobega! Wahan se bus sure milega" Koli reasoned..
5:40-
The situation aint too good on east side of the station either. But we aint left no choice.
We walk through the 3 feet deep gutter water, wading through plastic, pieces of cloth, chappal, polythene bags.. You could see many other ppl wading through the muddy waters. We formed a Human chain when the force of the waters was too much to navigate through.
We could see half submerged Hondas and Santros along the sidelines.



Most shops were shut down except a few grocery store where some locals were buying loaves of bread.
Guys in our human chain, were exchanging numbers, so that if anything happens to any of us, atleast our folks at home could be informed.
That sent shivers down my spine.I realised that something bad could actually happen to one of us...sumthing bad could happen to me..

We reached the highway. It was relatively empty.. there were more ppl than cars on the highway and there was no sign of a best bus.


We walked through Ghatkopar, Vikhroli to Kanjurmarg. Thats 20kms for you. All along you could see ppl walking. Some who were as old as 50 walking. Some one asked a uncle who seemed really tired as to where he was walking from. "Lower parel"..That did it for me, if he can walk, so can I.

Sumwhere in between I lost Umesh. I was all alone now. The street light were not working, at it was around 9pm now. Out of the three lanes, 2 were completely submerged. I could only see water everywhere. It was not easy to makeout where the highway ended and the side trenches began. I kept walking, I could sense I was nearing Mulund. I kept walking till I was within 5 kms of my home, but I had lost the will to walk... Just then a God sent Best bus came through, i jumped in.. The bus left me at Mulund station. Mulund, which I can safely say is one of the best planned suburbs in mumbai was underwater too.. It was impossible to differentitate between the tracks and the platform. But thankfully the lights were on! It felt good to see the yellow of sodium lamps.. I got a bus from the station to my home. I reached home at 11:30. I came in and lied down on the floor in the living room with the wet clothes still on!! I had been walking for the past 6hrs. I had covered more than 30kms on foot.. I was tired, hungry and angry. Angry at the BMC, the college, the lecturer, at myself..
It could have been worse though.
Chetan spent the night on the Vidyavihar platform.
Navin and Prasad slept in the corridors of a call centre near Ghatkopar
Some guys spent the night in the college.
Some slept in Best buses, some others in local trains...

944mm of rainfall in one day.
Rs. 450 crores worth of property damaged.
Atleast 1000 dead. Hundreds missing.

Dedicated to everyone who witnessed the mayhem. Dedicated to the people who put up a fight against nature to come out victorious. Dedicated to the 1000 mothers whose sons didnt return home that day... It rained that night:26 July

This sunday I accompanied my office friends to this beautiful paradise called manori beach. For all my readers in Mumbai, this post can be quite useful.
So heres how it began. We have been doing 6 day weeks from like ages... Pallavi got this brainwave of arranging this outing. The problem with our office is tht we have absolutely no holidays whatsoever!! There are like 8 holidaysin an year, I suck at remembering dates, but these ones I do, there r only 8 to rem!!

We were looking at an outing which wouldnt take more than 1 day coz thts all we got.. Prajakta, the explorer tht she is, put in this idea about Manori.

After a few postponements, the day was finally decided.. This is how it goes - Mulund->Thane->Borivili->Gorai->Manori

We[Sharang, Shruti, Pallavi,Amit,Sachina and above all(heh heh)me!!] took an Asiad(I have no idea why it is called tht). For those who came late, Asiad is ST's so called luxury bus. Its better than ST which I believe has no shock absorbers. They have shock transferers, every lump on the road is felt by your spinal chord.. Your spinal chord cries like its been subjected to a lot of Himesh Reshamiyas songs..

So after 45 mins we reached Borivili(E). The organiser of this whole outing thingy, Prajakta, was to meet us at Borivili(W) in about 10 mins.

But as it goes with girls, these 10mins took about 30mins! Akshay aka aks aka sukhi was to meet us here with Prajakta.Now Aks crept up from sumwhere wearing nothing but his attitude(and clothes ofcourse). I mean he looked as cool as Saif in Tashan with those sunglasses and tht goatee(I am straight,I am trying to make a point here..Pls be patient) . As he nears I realise he has no backpack up his back(thts why he looks cool? Get it?)

Aks: Arre tu bag mein kya laya?
Me: Abbe? Change!!
Kya baat kar raha hai!! Prajakta toh boli sirf towel leke anaa!
Shruti:(with genuine concern)Tu towel leke aya hai kya?
(unable to control his laughter)Nahi!!

Crazy right? Thts aks for you!

Next, we take a rick to Gorai, you get a ferry every 15 mins to get you from this End of the creek to tht opp one.

As the mech engg in us took over, there questions floating in our heads..

Me:Arre is mein(ferry mein) bhi gear hai!!
Aks:Abbe har chalti cheej mein gears hote hai!!
Really?
Abbe isme Reverse bhi hai..
Haan be.. sahi na..
Merko bol arshat, Reverse mein ek hi gear kyun hota hai..I mean why dont you have like 2-3 reverse gears..
Coz you dont need it..
Oh!
Yeah! (Genius)

We decided to keep our mouth shut when an aunty sitting opp to us, gave us "The look" The look seemed to say, "Keep your puppy mouths shut or I ll kick you in the nuts"

The ferry took like 10 mins and we found us just one step away from Manori. But you know what they say, one small step for a man, one big step for a horse.. Some girl in the group had the brilliant idea to take the tanga(horse cart, you angrez ki aulads :P) I dont get why us guys have to take the front seats on the tanga, why cant the girls sit there in the front, it was them who thought this would be fun.. And I dont get why they r called the "front seats" they are right behind the horsie's behind!

Me:Is gaddi mein kitna horsepower hai? Two bhp? buwahahahah..

Somehow the horse didnt enjoy the joke and he/she lifted up his/her tail and let out half a kg of horse manure.. I decided to keep my silly jokes to myself..
10 mins into the travel..
Me:Aks, har chalti cheej mein gears hota hai na? Is ghoda gaddi mein kitna gears hai??
Everybody laugh.. bwahahahaha... Up went the tail, horse shit again..

Why cant I keep my mouth shut!!

Our cart rider though never kept his mouth shut.. He kept singing this songs which I suspect were from some C-grade Konkani movie.. "Tawa kela garam.. hmm hmm.. mulgi zali naram" some shit like tht.. He sweared at almost at every other cart driver on the way.. He had this stick with which was actually his acceletor.. There were 2-3 times when I was hit, I let out a neigh or two, if I remember correctly..



30 mins after the ride, we reached our resort, Dominica(Ph 022-24462161).. Its a nice place if you like peace and quiet.. The beach is like 2 mins from our cottage. Me and akshay were the first ones into the sea, other boys joined a lil late..
Girls took 1hr 12mins to get ready. Pray, tell me how do you get ready to get wet!!?

The water is okay, I mean dont expect Ganpatipule, but its relatively clean. 2 hrs in the afternoon sun and lazing around in the salt waters and it was time for some pet puja.. When I reached the resort, there was Aks in my six pockets, and Amits vest..

Me:Salee!
Aks:Ruk na, I hav left my pants to dry..
Mera pant tereko mila kahan se?
Prajakta ne diya!!
Towel kiska use kiya?
Patah nahi..shayad tera..
Abbe yeh mera nahi hai..
Prajakta:Arre yeh mera towel hai..
Wht goes around comes back around bwahahahaha....*evil grin*

Btw, I still havent figured out whose underwear he was wearing..

There not much to see around. The resort has got its swings, hammocks and see-saws on which we had the most fun!! This place is for you only if you are a water person and dont care about getting a tan, which makes u look like you have been to the sun and back!!

On the way back I realised how tired I was.. And how much I miss these guys.. And how much fun I had with them...

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
-Mark Twain

Twain couldnt be more correct... You guys rule...

Thank you for the memories.....


Castaway : Manori beach

I received the 10,000th hit sometime this week!!
I dont know whose hit was the 10,000th hit, coz I was planning to share half of my blogs worth with him/her... And to give you an estimate of my blogs worth, check out the pic below






So tht comes around, well, (2258.16/2)*41.52(Re vs $ rate) = Rs.46879.40 phew!!!

Disclaimer: Please claim your prize money at the earliest or your prize money will be donated to the "Arshat Chaudhary foundation of really poor engineers!!" This is your chance to give back to the society, believe me! Btw, dont wait for the prize money coz no ones getting nothing.. Its just Technorati's way of making you feel rich/special.

To be honest, when I started out, I never thought we would make it this far...Thanks to your patience and tolerance toward bad grammar, silly spelling mistakes and absence of storylines, we made it this far...
Thank you for all your comments, they mean the world to me...They make me a better blogger..
Keep reading... 10,000 not out!

I have been TAGGED!! I have been TAGGED!! Finally after years of making blog friends and stuff, I have been Tagged. Santosh has tagged me with the number 8

Here is a list of the tags(in blue) I am supposed to write about...So here goes..

Eight things I am passionate about:

This is difficult. Since I belong to LOECT (League of extraordinarily confused twenty somethings)
1. Sitcoms
2. Advertisements (both print and TV)
3. Friends (this is a recent addition, I would like to believe)
4. Chatting (only with ppl I know)
5. Blogging (both writing and reading)
6. Nature (it amazes me)
7. Eating (anything veg and spicy would do!)
8. Cinema (no, not movies, but give me a good cinematic regional film and i am up for it!)

Eight things I want to do before I die:

1. Go on a vacation (har har har)
2. Play golf!
3. Visit Germany (They have like the best brains there)
4. Own a Mercedes or a BMW or Audi (One of these German cars)
5. Direct a movie or a sitcom (bet you didnt see that coming)
6. Own a beach house (on some lonely beach in Maharashtra). Owning a private beach would be ultimate!
7. Visit Palakad, which lies on the Tamil Nadu - Kerala border (They have like the best girls there!). Now thts a fetish!
8. ________________________ (I ll keep this blank, I wud like to dedicate this one to my loved ones, whtever they want me to do before I die...)

Eight things I say often:

1. Fuk (Mech engg are officially allowed to use tht word.. btw, I dont use it in front of non enggs-they find it explicit!! weirdos!!)
2. What goes around comes back around...(this is the ultimate truth!! Justin timberlake couldnt be wrong!! :P)
3. Kya faltugiri hai re..
4. Chod na be...
5. Shit yaar...
6. Sawaal! Maaf (Part of SPCE lingo.. Go here to know more)
7. Saaleeeeee
8. Life mein bahut padhai kiya hai..ab maja karneka...

Eight books I have read recently:

I think I havent read 8 books in all!! Let us see..In anti-chronological order
1. Shantaram(reading currently)
2. Forrest Gump (Last book I read)
3. Blink
4. Five Point someone
5. Catch me if you can
6. The Godfather
7. Rich dad Poor dad
8. Around the world in 80 days

Eight songs I could listen to over and over:

This is not fair! 8 songs is too less!! Here goes my list!
1. Lose yourself, Cleaning up my closet, When I am gone, and other Eminem songs
2. I’ll getcha good, A Party for two!, Tht dont impress me much (Shania Twain)
3. Summer of 69, Cloud no.9, Room Service - by Bryan Adams.
4. I ll be there for you... Friends theme (this is not by choice)
5. You are beautiful, Wisemen, high by James Blunt
6.Californacation RHCP
7. Hotel California by Eagles
8.Where is the love, Lets get retarded, Dont funk with my heart by Black eyed peas

<-Tag ENDS here->

I would like to tag Pushkar, Sukhi, Sam, Abhijit, Raghav, Bullshee

Tagged - The power of 8!

The name says it all! Its situated among one of the many boulevards that Mulund boasts of.. This street near my place is full of such shops which some small time traders have set up. There are kutchis, Shettys, Guptas and Yadavs among others who have made this street what it is today.. Among all these shops is Shaandar Hair cutting salon

I have been going there since I can remember.. My dad used to take me there.. I always hated my long locks being cut.. I dunno why, but it felt bad...very bad...like... like someone died.. Maybe it was coz of the tajis* you get the next day at school, or maybe its coz your teacher wanted you to cut your hair short and threatened to tie you a pony tail if you didnt.. Somehow not doing what the grownups want you to do always seemed cool to me (i still find it cool!) By tht logic, cutting your hair was so UNcool..

tajis*- the ritual(?) tht involves slapping the back of the head of the guy whos got a fresh cut. Kids usually stop tht once they get into the 5th grade..Well, most kids do..


So the point is tht my dad used to take me to Shaandar Hair cutting salon every 4-5th Sunday.. I had to come up with like really silly excuses for not having my locks cut and my dad had to come up with like really silly anecdotes to get my dark long locks cut- "You look like a monkey with your falling on your face like tht" (Little did he know tht a few years down the line someone with the very same credentials will rock Bollywood.. yeah SRK! )

I have no idea why we went to Shandaar.. Maybe coz it was nearest from home about 5 mins walk and we still took our kinetic..Yeah lazy we were!

So we would get into Mr.Yadav's(tht was his name if I rem correctly) salon. Mr.Yadav is this big paan chewing guy who has the mother of all beer bellies...His teeth were stained but tht didnt seem to embarass him coz he laughed heartily at any silly thing tht his "boys" said in their Bihari accent..

Shaandar cutting was a small place, you walked 6-7 steps inside and you would hit the wall & I am talking first grader steps. Once inside, it felt like a really cool place to be in with the blue coloured plastered walls,mirrors mirrors on the walls, hindi magzines like "sulekha" or something, radio playing songs from the 60s.. Now I, like any other self respecting rap loving, eminem worshiping fan didnt like those songs, but there is something about tht place, you wanna sing along Rajesh Khanna when he goes "mere sapno ki rani kab aayigi tu..chalii aaaa tuu chaliii aaaa..."

Tht place had a weird smell.. The smell of henna, V-John shaving cream, pan parag (or whtever tht is tht he used to chew), Raj ratan red coloured hair oil, pan parag (did i mention tht already?). And thn all these smells amalgamated together to give your olfactory lobe a high of a lifetime..

Mr. Yadav's modus operandi was simple.. Get the sicssors and get snapping.. "Sab Barik kar dena"("Cut it all short"), was all my dad had to say.. and Yadav uncle would dutifully cut my hair short, real short.. But thankfully my hair grew at a rapid pace and there I was again after 6 sundays!

Then I got into the 7th grade, the grade when suddenly your appearence becomes important coz of tht girl you been eyeing and she probably likes you for your cool locks.. You cut your hair and all tht remains of you is, well, uncool.. And they call us "shallow"!

I started going to Shaandar solo, I noticed he had taken dad's "Sab Barik kar dena" very seriously.. It was time I made a few modifications to this statement..
"Uncle, Kaan ke upar ke barik kar dena, baki lamba rakhna"(Cut the hair around the ears short, and dont touch the others..)
He didnt seem to like this new "kaan ke upar..." thingy. I got this feeling that he loved the "Sab barik kar dena" thing.. That maybe coz he got more freedom to snap his scissors tht way..

"Arre garmi ke din hai, barik karva lo"(Its summer time, u better get a short crop), Yadav uncle used to say mid-January!!!
He kept cuttin my hair the way he wanted, which was real short, and I didnt like it too much... I just kept waiting for a better salon to come up near my place.

I stopped going to Shandaar once I got into engg. Another place had come up near my house. This place had an AC, and it didnt smell, it had english mags, it had lesser mirrors...And yes, no pan parag. The guy who worked there was all cool and stuff with highlights in his hair and used to speak broken english. V-John cream was replaced by Gillette foam gel, Hair gel had taken the place of Raj-Ratan oil, cable TV instead of the radio... In one word, this place was COOL..



The other day, the place where I go usually, was closed and I needed a haircut, so I decided to go to Shaandar..
The place still smelt weird. And yes, there was paan parag around.

Mr.Yadav wrapped a white cloth around my collar

"Kaisa hai?", Mr. Yadav asked.
The mother of all beer bellies had become even bigger, like when you felt there can be no one bigger than "undertaker" and then "Khali" walks in.. The teeth were stainier than ever.. He looked old, half the hair had gone grey, he looked weary too. The condition of the salon wasnt too good either, it looked like a whitewash would help.. Sumhow I got the feeling tht business wasnt too good..

I was taken back by Mr.Yadav's "Kaisa hai?". For two reasons- First, he still remembered me! Its been 3 years since I have been here.. Second, he asked "Kaisa hai?" insted of "Kaise hain?"(which imparts more respect). But this guy knew me since I was 3 feet above the ground, so I guess it was ok..

"Theek hoon.."

"Aaj kal aate nahi aap"
I realised he shifted to a more respectful form of addressing. Sumhow I didnt like it very much. I have been used to being called "tu" by this guy and then all of a sudden he shifts to "aap". It makes you realise tht on the outside you are a grown man to the world.

"er..er.. Bahar rehta hoon aajkal"
How could I come up with a lie tht unconvincing..

"Sahab(refering to my dad) aate hain kabhi-kabhi "

"hmm.."

"Aap bhi aaya karo.."

"hmm..aaonga.."

"Ab toh dadhi banvane bhi aa sakte ho!!! HA HA HA HA"
Stained teeth still didnt embarass him

"hmm..aaonga.."

"Kaisa katun baal? Kaan ke upar ke barik kar deneka, baki lamba rakhne ka na?"

He still remembered how I wanted my hair!!



"Nahi uncle, Sab barik kar do....."

I still remembered how he wanted my hair!!






Update:(May 01)
There is this blog one of my schoolmate has, he has written bout a similar post on haircuts, and the way it is written is dramatically similar to mine.. Now I found it scary, see if it scares you too, it was written way back in Jan or something. Here is the link


Shaandar Hair Cutting Salon!