Thackrey "Raj"

This is not a Political blog and neither does it aspire to be one.. I usually write bout things that affect my life or of those close to me in some way. If Politics turns you off, please dont read this post, but if you are remotely interested, go ahead!

"Akkra rupaye zaale", said the conductor while punching the ticket
"matlab..? hindi mein boliye na..kitne rupaye hue?", the man(most probably from up) asked while accepting the ticket..
"marathi yet nahi kay? mag ja na parat bihar la" (Dont know marathi? Then go back to Bihar)

I was travelling with a few of my office colleagues in a state transport bus..Everyone in the bus gave the man a dirty look, some even echoed the conductors sentiment in hindi so that it was clear to that him that he was not welcome in this part of the world! I looked at my colleagues, it seemed that they supported the conductor instead of feeling sorry for that guy...and thats what this post is all about..


I have these 2 friends who close to me, both of them are non-marathis(and NOT non-maharastrians, coz everyone whos born and brought up here is a maharashtrian). Lets call them Deejay and Sally.. Both of them did their schooling from a community school, needless to say they were protected and identified with the culture there.. When they shifted to a bigger college, they had their own problems getting used to the culture.. Deejay complained that he felt left out when even in a group everyone started talking in marathi. Sally was frustrated that even the office staff talked to everyone in marathi..(and looked down on the people who didnt know their language)

The irony here is that she is a supporter of the Thackrey 'Raj'.. influenced by his ideology of kicking the "outsiders" back to where they came from, in this case UP or Bihar..
"But they are taxi drivers, carpenters, construction workers! How can we ask them to leave?", I reason.
"So what, I am sure we have enough people here to do those jobs"- Sally retorts..

I say - why not ask the south Indians to leave too? And the Gujratis, the Marwaris, why should they stay?

I am sure we have enough educated youth here to do the high end jobs that South Indians are involved in.. We dont want Marwaris and Gujratis coz we have enough of our Marathi businessmen to take care of all the businesses.. We dont want Punjabis in here coz we have enough marathi people who can run hotels and auto maintainance garages... All of you, go back to your respective states!!

The chances are, if you belong to one of the said communities, you would wanna scratch my eyes out...

And only I know how amazingly stupid and increasingly unconvincing I sounded when I said the those things..

Just like these communities play an important part in the functioning of the city, so do guys from the northern states.. Just like you go to a Punjabi restaurant for the best Chole bathure, you go to a bihari carpenter to get the best deal for your sofa.

But that said, it should be noted that its not acceptable to come to the city and live under a pipeline. These kinda people(and not any specific community) put a lotta pressure on the already strained city. Its these freeloaders that should be kept out of the city.



Time to resurrect the images of my friends..

Why do they hate the UP-Biharis? Its not that they have to compete against them for jobs or anything! Nor do they have to interact with them on a day to day basis.. so what makes them mad?
Its the freeloaders!! Its the people who think its okay for 7 guys to live in a 10X10 feet shanty in Dharavi..But Dharavi or for that matter any slum town in Mumbai has a quite a mix.. There are Gujratis and Punjabis, Christians and Muslims, marathis and south indians.. So why are Deejay and Sally mad at the northerners only? - Well, thats coz Raj wants them to! We do what we are told to.. More so when we are frustrated and want change bad. I dont blame them.. Crowded trains, bad roads, encroached footpaths do that to people... seeing their tax money not being utilised properly, their money used to provide electricity and water to the slums.. it sucks! Its similar to the sentiment people in the US show towards people who live off social security..

Now to the big question- Why is Raj mad at the northerners only?!

Well, a quick scan through Shiv Sena's history shows that through different time frames they have been mad at different people.. First it were the Gujratis (because they controlled most businesses and not the "sons of the soil"), then in the 80s the South Indians (coz they got the best jobs and not the "sons of the soil" ) and now for the last two decades, its been northerners..

The reason why most people dont know bout the 70s and the 80s is coz the "tigers" back then were "cubs" whom the congress bred to keep the marathi vote from going to the communist CPI. But then the cubs grew to be tigers and joined the saffron bandwagon to beat congress at its own game. Once in power in the 90s, the sena guys have added "value" by renaming every 3rd street to Chatrapatti Shivaji Maharaj and city has been rechristened Mumbai(which I support, btw)

Raj, who must have been in his late teens back in the early 90s, saw how his uncle worked up his charm. And now, his time has come to do what the Thackreys do best - implement the "us against them" doctrine. Then it doesnt matter who "them" is.. Afterall, this is tried and tested formula that has worked for ages.. Hitler used the same tactics...In that case, "them" were the Jews(and the rest of the world in general). Imagine less than 4 crore men ready to die for their leader and for a unbelievable dream of ruling the world! ... Some brainwash that must have been!!!

This tactic is super successful in the short term since it works for all classes who are on this side, but it does not help much in the long run... it brings a section of the society closer, at the same time, letting other sections drift away...

PS 1:- Raj is a great orator. Hes pretty charismatic. He appeals to the masses as well as the educated classes. Who knows? He might make a great leader someday.. When he does, he will unite the state, but in the bargain, end up dividing the nation..

PS2:- Deejay is still getting a hang of the language, but is comfortable with the idea of speaking the language. Sally has worked hard on the language and now, speaks excellent marathi.. The clerks at her college are proud. Her work gets done faster at all govt. offices simply coz she tries speaking the their language... Is that surprising? Nope! Its just human nature... Thackrey "Raj"SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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The tough thing bout growing up is that the feeling comes rushing.. It gives you no time react... Like when one of your male friends is off to get married.
Its different from your female friends getting married, with them you can always reason with yourself that in certain communities girls get married early and girls usually get married off before guys and maybe its not yet time to growup for you.. But once your guy friends start getting married you know you are growing up!
One of my closest friends is getting engaged in a few days, and I cant help feeling that we are growing up, big time..

I remember our engineering days.. He came across as studious to me, but in due course I realised that he never studies, hes just plain gifted..

He is the brand ambassador for gujjus in mumbai.. He actually picks up clothes from Fashion street.. And all the tacky ones - Tshirts in colour of red orange and yellow!

His quick wit is legend.. and so is his tiffin.. All those wafers, theplas, samosas his mom used to pack in for him..yumm.. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Aunty.. The reason why ur son isnt round and fat is coz I used to eat half of his tiffin! burp!lol
He had half the kitchen packed in his tiffin box. He even brought spoons, knives and forks to eat with.. And he always brought something for dessert.. The dessert, unfortunately, was never shared..

Great times those were.. I remember how we broke rules in our own inconspicuous way.. How "saale" was our preferred nomenclature for each other inspite of the choicest Indian gaalis that Engineering offers.. How the assignments were submitted always late and how we had decided what all days to bunk college to(the days no practicals were scheduled!).. How we attended very few lectures but enuf to not be black listed. How we worked hard for that disticntion aggeregate, which came late but came with a bang.. How we played multiplayer Explode arena on our bluetooth cellfones during the lecture and how we still crib about who owes how much money to whom!

I still find it difficult to believe that this guy is actually getting engaged!


Heres the chat we had a few days ago..
Now he has announced his engagement to very few guys, mostly close friends and family, so I have changed a few details bout him in the post.. Maybe after he officially announces it, we can have a more colourful post.. ;)
Lets call him MunnaBhai(To protect his identity baba!) and lets call me er.. Arshat(I cant hide my identity on my blog now, can i?!)


Arshat: Kaisa hai saale?
(Note that I start off with the "word" )
MunnaBhai: Thik hoon..Aur bol, kya chalu hai?
(Note that he doesnt ask me how am i doing... he was never a fan of the obvious..)
A: Kya bolu bey.. chalu hai..
MB: Abbe, I wanted to tell you this - I am committed..
A: oh..I see.. but committed to wht? to ur studies? college?
MB: Saleee.. commited to a girl na!
(Note the triple "eee" at the end.. this is used for greater poetic effect)
A: Kya baat kar raha hai? If this is a joke, I will kick u in the butt and a lot of other places..
MB: Abee seriously!
A: Kya? how? when?
MB: Arre 3 weeks ago..
A: Aur tu mujhe ab bata raha hai?
MB: abbe yaar..It still hasnt sinked in yet..
A: And y dont u have a committed sign on your orkut profile?
MB: Wohi toh.. It still hasnt sinked in..
A: Obviously na.. who thought a girl, that too an alive one could like you!
MB: Saaleee..
A: So when did you do this?
MB: I asked her 2 months ago.. She said "yes" 3 weeks ago..
A: Hmm.. Cant blame her, other girls would have taken a lot more time to say yes to you! and who knows if they would say yes in the first place! :P
MB: Saaleee...
A: Shes a gujju too?
MB: Yeah.. my caste..
A: She hot?
MB: Saaleee...
A: Tere mein itna guts kab se aya saale.. proposed and all!
MB: Dunno re.. just aa gaya..
A: What does she do..?
MB: Arre our jodi is like your parents..
(Note the word "jodi".. Typical of him)
A: huh? As far as I know none of them are gujju!
MB: Abbe, I mean shes a doctor too..
A: Wow!! You got yourself a doc!! Man I am impressed..
Btw, Is she hot?

MB: Saaleee... Shes gonna be your bhabhi..
A: Not untill the next few years..!Atleast 1-2 saal bad shaadi karega na..
MB: Haan re.. once i settle down, job and stuff..
A: Man.. I am really happy for you mate..
MB: Chup bey...You sound like a girl..
A: Do I? hmm.. but cant help it mate.. who could have thought a guy with your intelligence would end up with a doctor..!
MB: saaleee...

There was a lotta truth in that last line.. No, not the intelligence part.. He is very intelligent and has a super memory.. He can byheart 14 pages of a VB program, without actually knowing the head and tail of VB(Visual basic, baba). But in the 4 years that I have known him, I never thought hes the kind who can fall in love with someone, and more astonishingly ask her to spend the rest of her life with him.. I really thought Aunty will have to do it for him.. twisted
mrgreen Hehehe.. I just imagined Aunty say that to a girl - "Jinal beta, tamme maro dikro ne saath apne bakine life spend karu cho?"(Man my gujju sucks!) bwahahahaha... tht IS funny!

A: So, you are ready to spend the rest of your life with her..?
MB: yes.. Thats why i asked her..
A: You are in love?
MB: I think so..
A: How do you knw?
MB: Saaleee, tu toh Karan Johar type questions pooch raha hai..!!! Close your eyes and if you see her face, then you are in love with her! heh heh ..
A: hhehehehehehe.. Kya paka raha hai saaleee..
MB: I dont know re, you feel like wanting to be with each other and talk, u knw..
A: Just talk?
MB: Saalee.. Gutter brain...
A: Abbe nahi re, I was asking if thats enough to know that you are in love..
MB: Arre you want to be with each other all the time.. I call her whenever I get time and so does she!
A: wow! Its been a month since you called me..
MB: Well, I would if you would spend the rest of your life with me... :P
A: Yeah.. dream on! hehehehe...
MB: heh heh..lol..
A: So thats all you wanna do? Talk and stuff...
MB: Yeah! We talk a lot.. mera last month ka bill 1300 aya..
A: Saale gujju.. Baniya jaisi baat mat kar..
MB: heh heh.. I was just giving you an estimate..
A: hmm.. Can I look her up on orkut?
MB: Saale.. dont even dare do that..
A: Is she hot?
MB: saaleee...
A: Man! You already sound like you are her husband..
MB: Hehe.. I do.. I know.. I guess I like her too much then..
A: Hmm.. She must be a nice girl.. And you know what, I will be her fav among all your friends..
MB: I am sure you will be..
A: hmm..
MB: hmm..
A: chal then..Its 2 am... I should get going..
MB: Yeah.. bye
A: Just one last thing..
MB: Yeah?
A: Is she hot?
MB: Saaleeeeeeeeee...
Of growing up, getting married and saaleeee....SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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And he thought this isnt love!

On a rainy 15 June morning, you know, when the school reopens, he was rushing off to school..
He saw the local train standing at the platform, he ran, 20 steps down the foot over bridge, just in time to board the train..

And there she was, in the first class ladies compartment, talking to her friend.. They wore the same school's uniform as his.. but he had trouble placing them.. How could he miss such a pretty girl studying in the same school!


Dunno if it was the rains or sumthing but she seemed perfect.. Long hair and the works, her eyes had an innocent quality bout them.. He looked at her, and kept looking.. She caught him looking at her, and blushed.. It comes naturally to 15 year old girls.. The train started to move.. He just stood there watching the compartments pass by him.. She looked back to see if he was still there.. she smiled..
The train left the station..
His heart skipped a beat..

And he thought this isnt love..




"Ofcourse this is love!!"

The problem with high school is that your best friend is the only one who you can talk to such stuff bout. And unfortunately his interests include watching Karan Johar type movies and collecting perfumed erasers!

"Oh, cumon! I dont even know her.. I dont even know what division shes in! "
"Oh.. Shes in C or D division for sure..."

"How do you knw shes in C or D"

"Coz their class is on the 3rd floor and we never go there! Plus there is no girl on our floor whom the J-man doesnt know.."
"Whos the J-man?"

"Me!! Whats wrong with you?!"

"Oh.. I didnt know ppl call u tht.."

"And you are supposed to be my best friend.."


By lunch time, the J-man had found out everything there was to know bout her.. What division she was in, what she liked, what she didnt, stuff like that.. and yes.. apparently we had a lotta common friends.

"You know man, shes kinda shy.. takes time to open up and she likes intelligent guys.. You dont stand a chance, mate.. "

"Oh cumon.. I dont have a problem with shy girls, infact I like shy girls!"

"Er, thats not the problem, she likes intelligent guys.. thts the problem.."

So much for friendship..




It turned out that they had a lotta common friends, they were formally introduced..


At first, they met during the lunch break, she would come down to meet him on the first floor, they talked, about general stuff, bout their fav actors and movies.. And he asked her if she would like to come to a movie with him. It was a big deal during those days, guys asking girls out(it still is!)... btw, she agreed..




In the dark, cosy confines of the theatre, he tried the oldest trick in history to place his arm around her shoulder.. This trick is almost as old as the cinema halls themselves.. It is the stretching your arms trick, where you stretch your arms and then slowly place it on the adjacent chair.. He tried this trick 3 times, just couldnt gather enough courage to place his arm around her shoulder.. The 4th time he tried it, she looked at him, smiled at the naivety and the gutlessness of the dude she so liked by now, she held his arm and placed it around her shoulder..

His heart skipped a beat..

And he thought this isnt love..




They started meeting outside school.. They spent hours on her terrace.. They were loners, both of them in their own right.. They would keep looking at the evening sky, as it changed colours by the minute..
He was used to seeing her in the school uniform. The salwaar-kameezs that she usually wore when she came to meet him, made him realise how the girl he so adored was turning into a young woman.. and a lovely one at that..

They talked for hours.. bout him, bout her, bout life..

"We will always be together", she'd say..

"Always"

"If I dont get to share my life with you, I wouldnt share it with anyone else.."

Such words coming from a girl who he had always thought to be delicate.. fragile..
Such wisdom could come only from the very young, the very naive..

And though he thought he would give up the world for her, he didnt say it.. It is a guy thing, no matter how much he likes her, he always has trouble putting it into words..




They searched for excuses to touch each other.. He thought it was all a dream.. Was she for real...What if he loses her.. He held her close.. She melted in his arms..
Everything was a blur..

She felt happy.. and the very next second sad.. happy, coz she had found what she wanted.. sad, coz she knew he could be taken away..




He lay on the bed looking at the ceiling all night..
She lay awake, looking at the night sky out of her window..
Sleep eluded them..
Who wants to sleep and dream, when reality is so beautiful..


And he thought this isnt love..





He was just 15! They say you cant fall in love that young.. What did he know bout life? He didnt have a career yet.. What the heck, he hadnt even cleared the X board exams yet! And maybe its just attraction.. How do you know it is love..


"Arre you will know.." It was the J-man talking.. "You just wait for the sign.."





The results for X board were declared..
His grades had plummeted.. There was an no chance of him making it in a good college..
Like all guys, he blamed the girl.. Like all girls in love, she took the blame..



She moved to a different part of the city.. Cut all ties with him.. She wasnt angry, she was sorry for what had happened..
He engrossed himself in trying to become someone.. He had to set his priorities right..






Ages passed by, he became everything he wanted to, and somethings he didnt want to..everytime he met one of their common friends, he asked if they knew where she was and what she was doing.. And if they had her number..
The answers were always incomplete..
first he thought that she might have asked them not to let him know, but then it dawned upon him that even they didnt know much bout her.. She had consciously kept herself out of the loop..





On a rainy June morning, he was rushing off to work..

He saw the local train standing at the platform, he ran, 20 steps down the foot over bridge, just in time to board the train.. He couldnt believe his eyes.. there she was, in the first class ladies compartment..

She was still perfect.. Her hair werent that long now, but her eyes still had that same innocence they had 7 years ago.. He looked at her, and kept looking.. She looked at him..

Rushing emotions made it difficult for words to come by.. He didnt know where to start.. The train started to move.. She kept looking at him.. He wanted to ask her to forgive him..But it didnt matter any more... She had forgiven him.. He had forgiven himself.. After 7 years, he met her, but couldnt even say hello.. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much she means to him and he would giveup the world for her.. But he couldnt..
The train left the station..

His heart skipped a beat..

The sign was always there..

And he thought it wasnt love..



___________________________________________________

I am a sucker for happy endings.. And I know this is not the ending that you guys wanted.. But this is how life goes.. Plus who said this was the ending, maybe they meet, and live happily ever after.. And when they do, I promise, I will keep you posted...

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Taking it to heart...


Summer of 2001..
A R's classes..

Sitting in that class with all the happy faces around me, I couldnt help but wonder why I wasnt feeling happy.. Why wasnt I feeling happy for them and why I wasnt feeling happy for me. The class was for coaching us blokes for the engineering entrance exam(2 yrs in advance!!!). The class had a steady mix of ICSE guys and SSC guys. The ICSE results had been declared two weeks ago. The SSC results were declared 2 days ago.. The happy faces however did not belong to the ssc guys.. Ofcourse they had scored 85%+ which during our times were decent scores, but the jubilation had somewhat been dampened by the scores of the icse dudes.. The lowest icse score in the class was 87%.. The avg icse score was 90%. At that score any ssc guy would be famous in his galli and mahulla, with aunties coming to him and asking him bout what coaching class should her son should join and stuff like that!

Now getting admission in Mumbai is fierce competition, more so in the central suburbs, simply coz there are more students than college seats, not to mention 50% reservation(subject of a different post) and various regional quotas.. Every mark counts, and when you see guys from a different board getting scores as high as 92% , simply coz 90 marks in languages are gettable for them whereas only a handful of ssc students get those kinda scores in languages, you cant help feeling sorry for yourself..

AR's classes continued well into the admission season. You expected colleges to do something bout this gap in the scoring of the two boards. They didnt do nothing..! You expected the State board to intervene.. It didnt do nothing..! The icse guys got admissions in the first list itself.. Ruia, Ruparel were easy pickings.. Sies and Khalsa were too downmarket.. Sies was chosen only by those who wanted their education to be free.. Sies offered full scholarship to anyone scoring more than 90%.. Yeah that included even the icse guys. And the city was full of 90+ icse students.. I lost respect for the college after that.. 

The ssc students  on the other hand were waiting for the second and the third lists. The ones with less than 85%, like me, waited for the fourth list..

Rejection is a big deal when you are young.. When you dont make it in the first 3 lists, its the college telling u that u aren't fit to be in the elite.. You aren't good. You don't meet the standard. Its what a designer feels when his designs get rejected, its like when a filmmakers feels when his movie flops.. But it is tougher here - here YOU are the product..!
The filmmaker can come up with a better movie next, but how are you gonna come up with a better - YOU?

Admists the turmoil of thoughts and emotions, I remember telling myself - "I will make them take me in the next time.. "
Such wisdom could come only from the very young and the super naive..

Now that I look back at those 2 years after ssc that I slogged, I realise I did it to prove to those colleges how wrong they were.. And how their "elite" students wont make it to the Engineering college that I will make it to.. And yet, the thought itself is so wonderfully stupid that I cant help but feel proud of it.




Summer of 2008.
Siemens Design office.

As I was flipping through the newspaper, I came across this article bout a new "system" that will  be introduced this year. It said that the ssc students needed a fairer trial versus their peers in other boards. It said that Icse board had a liberal marking scheme and to normalise that, the govt. has come out with system. 

I couldn't believe what I was reading.. This is what I have been saying all this years! I finally had it in print! Some smart guys in the govt. had finally taken notice of the injustice imparted to ssc students and had come up with a plan.. 

Cynicism disappeared.. Idealism returned.. Justice does that to you. This system was not gonna affect me in any way. I was through studies and college. So were all my friends and everyone I was close to. But I still couldn't help feeling happy that atleast someone will get a fair deal. Finally after all these years, the govt took notice. Thank you Education minister.. You are the man! 

The number of ssc students in the elite colleges doubled! Ruia, Ruparel, HR, Xaviers were, all of sudden, within reach.. Ssc students were finally getting what their marks were worth.




Summer of 2008
Mulund Residence

Last Saturday, I woke up to this - IT'S CANNED


The Mumbai High Court has ordered the Govt. to can the system they used for admissions. They say the system used isnt fair on the Icse students.

__________________________________________________
Now the system :
Lets say you score 83% in ICSE. And lets say the avg percentage of first 10 rankers of ISCE board in the state is 98%, then your percentile will be - (83/98)*100=84.69%ile

Lets say you score 83% in SSC. And lets say the avg percentage of first 10 rankers of SSC board in the state is 93%(yeah! thts the wide gap in the marking I was talking bout... ), then your percentile will be - (83/93)*100=89.24%ile
___________________________________________________

Pray tell me Mr. Chief Justice Swantanter Kumar, how is this system flawed??!! 

Lets assume that you are right, after all you have read a lotta law books and passed from the best schools(Icse were they?), what do you intend to do about this situation? since we are canning this system, is the govt. allowed to come up with a new one? Or do we go back to like it was all these years? 


I have nothing against the Icse guys, some of them are close friends of mine. Half of my cousins are from the Icse board. Many readers of this blog are Icse educated. I think Icse educated guys are very intelligent. They know bout a lotta things. They are exceptionally good at Indian and World History. And are also good at Science, esp. Physics. My knowledge of Icse students is limited to my cousins and my friends, so my observations are an extrapolation of it... 

But you cant deny that Icse is liberal when it comes to marks, and when it comes to admissions ssc students always get a raw deal.. Maybe, just maybe, this new system was unfair to the Isce students, but then, all these years have been unfair to us..   

I read somewhere -"Part of growing up is taking what you learnt from that and not taking it to heart...". 
Mr. Chief Justice, I am taking this to heart, not for myself, but for the thousands of kids who coz of your esteemed decision will have to learn that life is unfair and live with it.. Not that I dont want them to know that, we all figure that out eventually, its just that adulthood can wait, 15 yr olds shouldnt have to go through this..



For the record, no Icse student from A R's class of 2001 could make it to my Engineering college.. 




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Shopping in the Ladies section...

Picture this - You are roaming around in a mall..In and out the overpriced showrooms... Shelf shopping through the Mens section..

Shelf shopping coz you are still in the last year of college and cant afford this stuff... You are going through the different types of shirts and jeans that are on the shelf..Denims are in, six pockets are out, or capris are they called?

And whats with the commando prints? What guy in the right state of mind would wear something like that.?! Just then a middleaged uncle with a paunch to show for walks by you wearing the same commando shirt.. Hmm... thts the kind of guy!!

You are browsing through the casuals section, then on to the Formals, then accessories and then you stand at the entrance of that section of the mall where thou haventh venturedth yetth - The ladies section.. You dare not enter.. There are women all around and there are clothes, all girlie clothes and there are a few men giving company to their respective ladies.. every third guy has a baby balanced precariously on his right arm..

You look at those men.. You knell down..God.. Please dont let me one of those men.. Please dont ever make me enter this section..ever..

Then you see men at the payment counter.. Paying for the shopping escapades of their girlfriends, wives or sisters..

You think to yourself, what kinda sucker buys from stores this overpriced!! These men into high paying jobs, loaded with money, pushing consumerism to the limit.. You think to yourself, When I start earning, I will not spend in such overpriced stores..

You see a guy with 3 bags at the counter.. He has a lady with him, shes going through the dresses in the bag... Theres a smile on her face which refuses to quit..

You look at the guy...You cant help feeling sorry for the guy.

He swipes his credit card.. turns back and looks at you looking at him.. and smiles..
That story..




One year hence, you have a job.. Amongst design software and hard core Engineering there is no time for shelf shopping.. You have decent salary and your bank account has started to smile..

The sister has to pursue a professional course and needs a few new dresses.. Now the sister does believe in my taste when it comes to apparel, this is one the very few things she gives me credit for..

So she decides to punch my smiling bank account in the face.. she took(read dragged) me to the costliest showroom in this part of the world..

We entered the mall.. We passed through the Mens section, casual wear then formal wear.. We were getting closer, then came the accessories section.. There I was standing at entrance of the section where men had their salaries drained... hours spent... credit cards maxed..

While I had a grave look on my face calculating how much this was gonna cost me, the sister was as excited as a kid in a amusement park!!

So wht are you looking for?
Party wear..!
What? You are getting into a Professional college.. You think theres gonna be time for parties?!
I just want this one dress..
Oh..ok..
For the rest of the formal ones we will come back again..
Whaaa?

My eyes started searching for discounts.. Where were all the discounts when you needed them?
I saw some % sign at a distance.. I was pulled by its magnetic presence to its direction.. 40% discount.. Cool.. Just what I needed.. Checked out some tops there.. Rs.1940.. Hmm.. 40% off on 1940, that is..er.. A pretty salesgirl stood there smiling..
"Sir, that is the discounted price.."


I lost my love for arithmetic after that.. I just stood there looking at salesgirl for 1 minute, then at the top for another minute, then looking at her again for one minute.. then she got bored of the routine and left..

The sister by that time had found 3 dresses she liked..She handed me the three dresses to hold while she shopped for more..

I thought u didnt like green..
Oh I meant emerald green.. this is bottle green..
I see..
Yeah..

The sister was getting deeper and deeper into the section. You see, the ladies section is pretty much like a city. On the outskirts of the city you get cheap (relatively) real estate.. But as you move deeper into the city, the real estate prices shoot up.. Similarly, the cost of apparels increases as you keep going deeper and deeper.. Then we arrived at the "core" area.. The Nariman point of the ladies section.. This section is usually occupied by 30 somethings businesswomen or iit-iim grads who earn enough to make grown men cry!

An hour later we had found around 5-6 dresses (some of which were from the "core" area) which she had to try on..I had three tops on my left hand, a maroon, peach and a black number.. On the right hand had I had a green, er I mean bottle green top, a pink one and a off-white one..

Then came the trying on the dresses.. You are allowed only 2 dresses inside the changing room...Here comes my part in the evening...the brother has to stand out with the rest of the 4 dresses and has to approve of the dresses he finds classy enough for his sister to wear..

So I am standing there outside the ladies changing room.. And getting those stares you get when you accidentally board a female compartment in the local train..!
http://www.topnews.in/health/files/angry-woman.jpg

I take this opportunity to go through the price tags.. All 4 digit price tags all of a sudden seemed less classy to me :P And yes, that included even the ones with "cheeky" prices like Rs.995.. I
mean even a 5th grader knows that trick..

After a gruesome half an hr of trying on the dresses, we zeroed in on one black number which I can safely say was the classiest of all dresses we had chosen..

Half an hour of alterations on the dress and we were ready to move on to the payment counter..
As the sister was busy adoring her dress, I was shelling out a few big Mahatmas..

I looked around I saw some college students looking at me.. Giving me that look, the look that I thought I had invented..

And I looked at the sister.. Still adoring her dress.. A smile adoring her face.. All grownup she was, all of 18 years, but I still see her as an 8 yr old who needs me to fetch things for her.. And all those mahatmas be damned, I would give them away for that smile.. And those college guys will know only when their sisters ask them to buy a dress for her... They will realise that its all worth it..

I swiped my credit card.. turned back and looked at the college guys looking at me.. and smiled..
That Story.. Shopping in the Ladies section...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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Raka calling...

Update: This blog is the winner of The Chronicwriter Best Blog of the Year award 2008



Short story


I dont like waking up early..Not one bit...Just like Obama doesnt like Osama inspite of having such similar sounding names..
I dont like early morning calls on my cell.. Not even on my birthday.. Well 8 in the morning is not exactly early morning, but what the heck!
Anyone who has been my friend knows this.. All my bday wishes start pouring in only after 10 am..

We gonna have a party..turn the music up..
lets get it started..go ahead n move your butt..

I hate my ringtone.. I mean Eminem's Shake that is good all day long, but early morning even he sucks.. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the caller id.. I looked at the watch.. 8 am in the morning..Who could be calling me at this unearthly hour..

Raka calling..







That sent my thoughts running..
Raka is the name I gave to Rakesh. Rakesh was in my college.. I hated him the first day I met him.. He was very in-your-face.. too bubbly if you may call a guy that.. His youthfulness pissed me off.. He would always be chirpy, even in the mornings...every 9am lecture he and the professor would be the only two guys awake in the classroom.. I soo hate early mornings.. More than that I hate morning people

We had different groups, his group was the nerdy one, mine was the influential one..I guess we became friends when my group had a fight with his group.. Like most fights I have no idea of the reason why we were fighting.. It wasnt like a fist fight, but I almost punched him in the face..

He was quite a character this guy Rakesh.. At 6'2" he was the only guy taller than me in the group.. He was what girls like to call tall, dark and handsome..He had this devilish smile which apparently was cute to girls..He was quite the smooth talker and would have girls falling for him wherever he went..the lucky devil.. Hence the name Raka.. Rakesh is too somber for such a character..

There were times when I was jealous of him sure, even after we became best friends.. but thankfully he went after the girls who I considered outta my league.. There was this girl who both of us liked.. When he got to know that he stepped aside.. He actually helped me write poetry (since I am emotionally retarded) for her. I consulted him bout what gifts a girl likes to receive and stuff.. I wanted to gift her an Xbox.. Raka suggested a pair of earrings..(yeah.. tht sounds better)

He had a heart of gold.. He would do anything for a friend.. Hes the one you want to be around if you get in deep shit in life ever...Raka was always up for some masti.. He did spend a small fortune on his friends everytime someone from our group topped an exam or something..Rich dad he must have I thought..lucky devil saala..

There were 6 guys and 3 girls in our group.. He knew each of our birthdays byheart. He was the first to wish me birthday every year, year after year.... Used to wake me up at 8 in the morning on my bday.. devil saala..

"Why do u have to wish me tht early..??"
"Cant wait yaar..Its like a habit..I gotta be the first one to wish you.."
"You have to change tht habit mate.."
"You know wht they say, old habits die hard.. Some habits dont change even after you go.."
"Go where? to the loo?"
"Yeah..... idiot...."


He was also the first to ask for bday treats.. I dont know how he remembered all those dates.. Even today if you ask me Rakesh's bday, I wont be too sure.. I know its in June or was it July? Btw, the girls got a return bday present from him, the guys didnt.. devil salaa..

Around the 3rd year of college, I noticed he was gaining weight..not the kind you gain on the holiday.. He was losing hair too.. He used to miss a lot of classes..
He seemed sick.. and it seemed chronic.. I did confront him.. I wanted to know what was wrong with him and why was he not attending the lectures...But then he would flash a smile and say something hilariously stupid and that would seal the topic for then..

Around the 6th semester he stopped coming to college all together..He wouldnt answer my calls, wouldnt reply to my messages..

One of our classmates used to stay near Rakas house, we got the address from her, and showed up at his house uninformed.. His mom opened the door..

Aunty, Raka home?
Raka?
Er..I mean Rakesh.. I am his college friend..
Oh.. Hes not here.. He is in the hospital..
Why? He sick? viral fever kya?

Tears swelled up her eyes..

I had known Raka for 3 years.. For more than 2 and a half years he had been my best friend.. But not once.. not even one time did he mention he was touched by cancer..

He had been undergoing chemotherapy for the last few months.. And he never told me.. devil saala..

Men have a weird way of showing hurt.. I didnt go to meet him in the hospital.. Everyone from my group and my class went.. His best friend in class didnt..

Then one day he called.. "Kya saale aaj kal milta nahi.."
They say grown men dont cry.. They were damn right.. I didnt cry.. neither did he..

I did go and meet him that afternoon.. 3 days later he left us... Everyone in our class cried...I didnt..

Its been 6 months since he left us.. I miss him sometimes.. But I dont cry..








My string of thoughts was broken by my mom- Your phone is ringing beta..Answer your phone..

I looked at my cell..

Raka calling...

Hel-Hello..
Hello beta.. This is Rakesh's mother calling..
Ah..hello Aunty..
Many happy returns of the day, beta..
Er.. thank you aunty, but.. but.. how did you know?
Oh..Rakesh had set an alarm on his cell for your birthday..So I called you on his behalf..

Tears ran down my cheeks..
Hes gone, but he was still the first one to call me on my birthday.. devil saala..


P.S. - Inspired from a true story. Rakesh was a friend of a friend..
Rest In Peace mate.. Raka calling...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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A city called Pune..

I was at Pune last week.. Now like every true blue Mumbaikar, I have been brought up to look down at every city other than Mumbai..
I wasnt expecting anything special from Pune..
I was pleasantly surprised...


Some musings...

*There r more colleges on one street of Pune than all of Mumbai.


*The rickshawalas are allowed to joke.. Rs.800 for a 6km ride at 1 am? hahahahaha... so funny..

Another time another day..
Me: Jagtap dairy? kitna?
Rick: meter+half or return
Me: Nahi re.. itna paisa nahi hai
Rick: okay.. 90
Me:nahi 30(something I learnt from my bargainin pro female frds..)
Rick: kya sahab.. chalo aapke liye 60..
Me: nahi yaar 30(man!! i am good..)
Rick: okay 50..
Me: roz ana padta hai yaar.. 50 roz-roz bahut costly hai..
Rick: (shifting to may marathi) 20 rupayat tumcha kay jaanar..
Me:(sticking to matrubhasha hindi) nahi yaar.. bahut costly hai..
Rick: aacha baitho

In bold letters MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!

Btw, we got to be good friends at the end of the ride.. he told me what buses to take and what all places to visit in Pune.. I asked him if he was on orkut and what his name on his profile was but then he thought i was getting too personal.. But he did tell me that he had his Ricks pic on his profile.. I have been searching for it ever since..



*There are only two age groups in Pune less than 25 and more than 55...There is no middle aged uncles/aunties around here..You will not find anyone around 35-40 walking the streets on Pune..I dunno how they do it..But I gotta feeling that the Govt. secretly kidnaps guys who are more than 25 yrs and less than 55.. To me, it looks like a social experiment.. Someone's got a better theory?

*Darvin derived inspiration for his theory of "Survival of the fittest" from the the Pune traffic.. The driving skills possessed by Punekars would make a Andheri bred-SV road driving-foul mouthing-horn honking rickshaw driver envious.. Punekars drive like they are playing a PC game.. Its like they gain extra point for cutting lanes and overtaking on flyovers..
If you dont overtake someone from the wrong side in the first 3 mins of driving its considered a foul.. You are red carded and ejected from the game for 90 mins.. what? seriously!!!



*The girls here are pretty, or so you guess..coz all of them have scarves around their faces with only their eyes showing... A lil tid-bit- Men in Afghanistan can tell a burkha clad womans age and how beautiful she must be just by noticing the spring in her step..Infact there are stories about how these Afghani men caught burkha clad female Russian spies just by noticing their walk.. I have become pretty much the Afghan myself...

*There so many scarves sold here... Girls, you know!!rolleyes they have like 7 diff scarves for 7 different days - (baby pink for Monday, green for Tuesday, turquoise for Wednesday etc.).. btw, turquoise is a female version of blue..
According to the last budget 07-08, the sale of scarves in Pune contributes 0.3% to the country's GDP.. Its the second biggest industry in Pune after IT.. mrgreen

*Koli was driving me around the city one day when this scarf clad girl picked up a race against us.. She beat us for the first half of the race, but the male chauvinists that we are mrgreen we werent ready to accept defeat from a lady rider.. Koli revved up the engine and beat her to the Pune university(thts where she was going we figured out).. For the record, the girl had an Activa while we had a fully loaded 150cc Xtreme..mrgreen

*Pune is one of the few places which has an ideal boy-girl ratio.. Apparently ever guy with a bike has a girl(scarf-clad ofcourse..) on the back seat.. In much anticipation I asked my frds if they had found someone special, they hadnt.. it turns out they didnt have bikes!! Two of them had cars though, but as it turns out, cars dont do the trick.. How do u spell l-o-s-e-r-s?twisted

*The apartments that I stayed in Pune deserve a special mention.. I stayed near the IT park in the burbs.. Huge apartments they have.. I stay in a 3BHK here in mumbai but flats in Pune are wayyy bigger... and their balconies.. hugeee balconies(half the size of the my bedroom)..The living room is the size of Eden gardens.. You could actually play Test matches there..(one tappi out ofcourse)

*I cant do without mentioning the weather..The weather is pleasant..
There was this day when I went sight seeing, I walked around 7-8 kms that afternoon, and not a drop of sweat!!
It doesnt rain tht much, but the temperature drops a good 5 degrees every night...With balconies big enough for you to play golf in, the evening is the best time to sit out there and soak in the scenery..
Both the apartments that I stayed in during the visit were on the 7th floor and offered quite a view of the city.. One word - Beautiful.. Dont tell Mumbai, but this was the first time I thought of settling outside mumbai..



If I have to compare between Mumbai and Pune, I would say Mumbai is like a middleaged businesswoman..(It has to be a woman, a man wont wear the queen's necklace now, would he?) Shes well established, respected and powerful.. She has worked hard to get where she is now.. shes always busy..she never sleeps...shes enterprising.. shes colourful.. shes fantastic!

Pune on the other hand is a 15 yr old.. Shes fun loving.. Shes beautiful, just like most girls are when they are 15.. shes got a few pimples here and there, but they only add to her beauty.. Shes growing up.. shes busy, but not coz she has to attend business meetings, shes busy coz she has to meet her frds or go shopping or do other girlie stuff..

As different as they are, they both are special in their own way...For the first time I am finding it difficult to choose between Mumbai and some other city.. And I thought this day would never come..

Special thanks to the guys who had to bear my company: Harish, Amit, Hemant, Suru, Ambrish, Abhjit and Koli.. All of them SPCEites.. What camaraderie!
Special thanks to Rishikesh aka monu

Thank you for the memories..
A city called Pune..SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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