I have been a little busy over the last few days.. not that you miss me not blogging or anything, but just felt you would like to know.. Did I hear you asking why am I busy? (Well, dont answer, I am on the other side of the screen and I cant hear you.. bwahaha..er.. sorry)
So, I got my tooth cavity filled.. I have been blessed with a good set of teeth, I have never had any problems so never had to visit a dentist ever.. Most of my friends have spent a small fortune at the dentist after spending half a fortune on Cadbury.. I have had these guys telling me their experiences at the dentist, so I thought now that I have an experience why not share it..
Yeah yeah.. I know.. Getting your cavity filled is nothing to blog about, but if you have been playing attention, my last post was about a speaking dog.. So now that I have set really low stds for myself, I can blog about any crap that comes to my mind.. So here goes..
The place was huge and really clean.. I sat at the reception along with the other er.."patients"
"Mr. Chaudhary? You are in next..", said the receptionist.
I love being called Mr.Chaudhary.. Its so, u know, grownup..
I entered the cabin.
The dentist was a lady in her late twenties, she had a mask on her mouth, but had really pretty brown eyes and long hair.. Something told me she was a south Indian, probably Tamil.. (I have a southie fetish )
"Umm.. Chaudhary.. Arshat Chaudhary, right?"
Man! this was like James Bond..
"What? is that your phone number..? Pls fill it in here..", she said, handing me the patient card..
No sense of humour these doctors have I tell you.. (I was to be proved wrong)
I filled up all the details and then sat on the Dentist chair, which is pretty much like a barbers chair, only at an more obtuse angle....
"Heylo doctor", I said as I lay down on the chair
"Hello", she said
"I am kinda nervous.. I have never been to a dentist before.. Its my first filling"
"Oh.. Dont worry.. Its my first too"
"joke tha baba"
"I have done atleast 3 fillings before this"
"hee hee.. I meant today"
This was gonna be one long session..
What kinda filling would you like?
No no.. I meant, silver or tooth coloured filling?
Hmm.. silver.. I mean, atleast I can sell it in times of need.. bwahahaha..
umm.. satish, bring the drill.. the BIG one..
She didnt like the joke it seemed..
Satish was her assistant,he seemed more than happy to get her the big drill.. He had that look on his face.. You know, the kinda look that says somebody-gonna-hurt-real-bad-tonight
The engineer in me noticed that there was a hermetically sealed compressor in the corner of the room. The engineer in me awakened (I would have liked had it awakened when I was giving my sem 7 exams)-
Hey! Thats a hermetically sealed compressor!
Umm.. never mind.. What would you doctors do without us engineers!
She looked at me...Her eyes didnt look pretty to me anymore.. The big drill in her hand was making grrring noises..
We will see..Now this is gonna hurt.. Dont scream..
Oh, dont worry.. We men dont scream.. we fight.. we hunt.. but we dont scream..ow ow ow..
With that it started.. The drill drilling into my tooth.. I learnt a new thing bout the human mouth that day,- If someone drills into your tooth, it will hurt!....
one more thing I learnt - If someone puts their hand inside your mouth and you dont get to close your mouth for a long time, a lotta saliva collects in your mouth..
The dentist had a female assistant whose job was to place a pipe in my mouth which wud suck out the saliva, but she wasnt doing her job properly, some of my saliva drooled onto my shirt.. I dont think her heart was in that job.. But in her defense, who would find sucking saliva outta a guys mouth interesting?!
With a good amount of drool making my shirt wet, which btw doesnt happen too often.. It kinda happens only when I look at Salma Hayek, or when I am waiting for food to be served at a restaurant (Is that why girls dont come out with me the second time? :P) Anyways, the point is that my shirt was getting wet, and I dont like me gettin wet in public (or in private.. bathing is such a pain )
The dentist, however, was enjoying every moment of it..
"Satish, miracle mix and Zinc phosphate banana.."
Satish enthusiastically started mixing stuff that came outta weird looking bottles..
"Open wider....God.. this is the biggest cavity I have ever seen.....biggest cavity I have ever seen"
"Why did you say that twice? I am nervous already.."
"Oh.. I just said it once, the second time it was the echo! hahahaha"
hahahah.. Satish and the female assistant joined in..
"Yeah yeah.. very funny.."
Once the miracle mix was placed in the cavity, the job was done.. All I needed now is to get outta here...
Hmm, so Arshat, how do you like your filling?
umm.. I like it..
Good.. so if you have any other problems you can call me, my name and number is on the bill..
Yeah.. And you can call me too, my number is on the patient card..
Err.. Yeah.. right..
Wow.. this bill is kinda steep.. Dont I get a funny guy or a cute guy discount..
The dentist, satish and the female assistant gathered in a huddle to discuss my discount..
I heard satish saying - he was funny alright..
not that much - the assitant added
But that chocolate filling thing was hilarious..
yeah.. tht was good..
so what say? shud we reduce 150 rs?
150? u think he was that worth it?
okay then 100?
The dentist left the huddle- Arshat you ll be getting a 100 rupee discount..
I paid the bill.. I was happy on receiving my cute guy discount.. I know.. I know.. But its my blog, and I can say whtevr I want to...
As I left the clinic, I thought bout the Dentist, and Satish and the female assistant.. Its a boring job that they do if you ask me, I mean what can be more boring than sucking saliva outta a guys mouth or drilling a hole through his teeth or mixing ZnPo4 and miracle mix, but the entusiasm with which they work makes me feel good bout them.. And if hadnt been for them, I wudnt have silver in my teeth!
P.S. - The dentists name was Dr. Iyer btw.. She was tamil afterall!
P.S.- I figured most of us have been watching the news about Mumbai Attacks, so I half-cooked this post up.. Hope I have managed to extract a smile or two through this post... Silver in my teeth : One hour at the dentist
Editor in chief arshat chaudharyCurrent Issues: dentist, Doctors, mumbai, mumbai attack, russel peters