The TimePass of India

Title se yaad aaya...

I have nothing to write.
Have no inspiration lately.

I open blogger wanting to write something and end up staring at the blank screen for hours like a loser...


Loser se yaad aaya, what has gotten into Kolkatta Knight Riders? Suddenly, I have new found respect for Ricky Ponting. How did he manage to win all those matches with an ass for a coach(John Buchanan).


Ass se yaad aaya, what is wrong with Imran Hashmi.. aaj-kal koi movie nahi aa rahi bande ki.. He has done more movies in the last 5 years than what Aamir Khan has done in his two decade old career.

Note that, it was Aamir Khan who held the record for maximum kisses (on screen of course) and he was conviniently replaced by Imran in his debut year.


Debut se yaad aaya, Varun Gandhi made quite a debut in Politics in and as "Pilibhit ka goonda". He went overboard with his anctics, gave communal speeches which made LK Advani and Narendra Modi sound secular. Its almost certain that Pilibhit is voting for Varun this Loksabha elections. Next LS elections we can wait for his next movie - "The return of the goonda".


Goonda se yaad aaya, did you guys know Gulshan grover is the brand ambassador for the apparels chain - "The loot".

I mean, what were the Marketing guys thinking? How could you have someone whos every third line is - "Baaaad maaan" as your brand ambassador. Wouldnt it make more sense to have someone like Ranbir Kapoor or Imran Khan as your brand ambassador if you are selling clothes? The truth is, Gulshan Grover himself doesnt like clothes much, if he did, he wouldnt rip them off the heroine in evey fifth movie. Gulshan Grover selling clothes is like Rishi Kapoor selling annual memberships for Talwalkars gym.


Gym se yaad aaya, dont you think Mayawati should join a gym. Shes getting real big and disfigured, not to mean that she was as figure-y as Madhuri Dixit when she was young, but she really needs a workout. If she reads this blog(which in all probability she does considering my popularity) she is bound to say



"Abbe budbak, main UP ki CM hoon.. Koi nahi aayega mere aur mere khaane ke beach."
"Beach? But ma'am as far as I know there is no sea or beach in UP!"
"Abbe gadhe, there is a beach.. Playground ke beachon beach."

Hehehe... er.. sorry you had to hear a joke that bad. I am a little low on intelligence(I meant today, usually I am okay). But seriously, she needs to workout. Shes turning into the symbol of her party. Arre the symbol of her party is Elephant. Itna bhi nahi jaante (Kya jhakaas knowledge hai na mera Mayawati ke baare mein!).


Elephant se yaad aya, Ramesh Powar just gained a few more pounds. Had I been the owner of Kolkatta Knight Riders, I would buy Powar for 8 crore rupees. I think hes by far the best player in IPL right now. He can single handedly win matches. How? Here goes my strategy. But this strategy works only when KKR bat first.-

Send Powar to open. That McCulluam is an idoit. Gayle-Powar should open. Make Powar run on the pitch. The pitch will crumble under his weight. When we come to bowl we have a minefield of a pitch. Make Powar open the bowling too. On a cracked pitch even Murli Karthik can be fatal, toh Powar ki toh baat hi alag hai. Powar will end up picking up 10 wickets in 4 overs.


Powar se yaad aaya, do you guys remember which bat Sachin Tendulkar used before he started using MRF ka balla? Yes guessed it right! Power!

Sachin used to feature in print ads of Power, he also used to feature in that Action shoes wala comercial - "Joota hai ya light.. joote main hai light!" Do you know who was the girl in that commercial? Socho socho.. shenaz!! Yeah, that Ishq Vishq wali girl.. She played Shahid Kapoor's girlfriend, second girlfriend actually.. The first one was that Parkinsson disease wali girl, whats her name, yeah, Amrita Rao, she shakes her head a lot when she delivers her dialogues, next time, kindly note.


Note se yaad aaya, MBA education is very costly yaar.. Majak-majak mein bahut kharcha hone wala hai. And because of this recession I am not even sure if I will be able to recover the money that I have put in. The condition is bad for guys like me who have all their earnings in white. Now only if I had done some ghootala or something, I would have a lot of black money to splurge...


Black se yaad aaya, Obama (I am so racist ) should come up with something to resurrect this recession thingy. He should take our PM's help if necessary, afterall Manmohan singh is by far the best Finance minister we had.

If Obama can have a cup of tea with him, they will definitely come up with some solution. All we need is some Tea, marie biscuits and some baat-cheet...


Baat se yaad aaya, I have to take a bath.. Bahut din ho gaye..


Warnings:
1.Reading this post can cause temporary neuron damage. What? You already read it and are cursing your friend who recommended you this blog? Please dont, your friend's intentions were good, mine werent!
2.This blog takes no responsibility for the low marks scored by Delhi students(rest of India is done with exams) due to the brain damage caused by this post. Title se yaad aaya...

Related Posts

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: aamir khan, gulshan grover, imran hashmi, mayawati, Obama, ricky ponting, Sachin Tendulkar, the loot

 

29 letters to the editor:

On May 1, 2009 at 3:59 PM     
Anonymous said...

:)


On May 1, 2009 at 4:10 PM     
Anonymous said...

loved it.. rishi kapoor wala comment and pawar wala ... hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


On May 1, 2009 at 4:36 PM     
A Fineapple said...

if u can write like that u could easily become the next Aravind Adiga..but i don't think u will b willing to write with the same point of view of India as his..but a booker will be waiting..read almost all ur articles..n they r really superb..


On May 1, 2009 at 4:54 PM     
Sudhir Kekre said...

good to see you back. looks like were losing the writer to the mba.
but good luck. :)


On May 1, 2009 at 8:02 PM     
Unknown said...

that was quite a funny post.....and yeah, like the others i had missed reading ur posts :)

keep 'em coming (afterall, we only have a few more weeks before MBA starts ruling ur life)


On May 1, 2009 at 8:26 PM     
Harish said...

Hmmm..A pretty long break by ur standards..and its showing in the writing! At last a non-romantic post..Lol! Yea,MBA does that to u..concerned people better take note :P
Btw they would have kicked u outta Big Brother for that Racist comment.


On May 1, 2009 at 8:55 PM     
Akansha Agrawal said...

Hilarious... LOL... we could put you on stage for a 'link-up' extempore... :D


On May 1, 2009 at 9:35 PM     
Nupur said...

Sorry to say but that joke was really bad!!! I almost didn't get it!!

Nice observation about Amrita Rao... will have to notice it now!!


On May 1, 2009 at 10:09 PM     
Thoorika said...

Apparently I see that I am not sailing alone .. Ppl around me are jobless like I am... and Not getting any inspiration for blog posts either :D


On May 1, 2009 at 10:27 PM     
enchantinganki said...

oyee!
tussi great ho!
great se yaad aaya ; great toh gandhi ji bhi the and great toh khali bhi hai!!

iska matlab tussi=gandhi ji=khali ji :-P

mast post tha!
I have such a great laugh, in the worst (read EXAM)time!


On May 1, 2009 at 11:20 PM     
HIREN aka lamda said...

nice experiment dude..
i liked it..
jokes thode gande the is post me.. wo ramesh powar walese mujhe hasi bhi nahi aai...
sorry 2 say dat..
par post sahi tha..
nice wrk...


On May 2, 2009 at 12:03 PM     
Swetha Padakandla said...

huhahahaaa

nice and funny post!

"post" se yaad aaya.. how long u had been away from blogging??
quite a long gap, haan! :D

cheers
swetha


On May 2, 2009 at 4:28 PM     
iceprincess said...

FUNNY....
SOME OF THEM WERE REALLY FUNNY...

:)
BY THE WAY..I HAVE AWRDED U..PLZ ACCEPT IT FROM MA BLOG...


On May 2, 2009 at 9:30 PM     
priya chona said...

oops.....where am i?......i think into the blogging world aur "Blogging" se yaad aaya
U write really well man...Really really well i must say.....read couple of ur blogs n it keeps us thinking......keep it up....:)


On May 3, 2009 at 10:16 PM     
Shanu said...

:-)


On May 4, 2009 at 10:17 AM     
s4n705h said...

Waise i am sure that mayawati wont read your blog cos her knowledge of english is same yours of data structure and programming :) (sorry cant think of better realationship)


On May 4, 2009 at 4:30 PM     
Ashwin said...

nice articlee


On May 4, 2009 at 4:58 PM     
Ankit Khandelwal said...

My first visit to you blog... but now I have subscribed it... Indeed a quality.. I like ur wierd ideas....


On May 5, 2009 at 7:45 PM     
Winnie the poohi said...

You are so good! he he he :D :D

post more often :)


On May 6, 2009 at 1:49 PM     
Anya said...

the thred was wonderful brother.. God bless you for the wonderful connection you gave

romesh powar was funny..
:)

chriz


On May 7, 2009 at 3:08 PM     
Srinivas said...

WAh..What an idea to start posting a blog...!!! GR8


On May 7, 2009 at 9:48 PM     
broca's area said...

lol at parkinson...she needs l-dopa!...

p.s-nice humorous post!!:)...literally went rofl!!


On May 11, 2009 at 10:49 AM     
totalliemeh said...

interesting train of thoughts. had fun reading that..


On May 11, 2009 at 12:34 PM     
Arshat Chaudhary said...

@Anonymous
:)
heheheh


@Arpitha Holla
wow! Thats such a compliment.. I dunno about a writing, but right now, I am just happy making people smile :)


@Sudhir Kekre
Well, I am back now :)


@Purnima
I hope I am able to give my blog some time even after my MBA starts.Gonna post like crazy before that :)

@Harish
This non-romatic post is dedicated to you :P
I knw they wud kick me out of Big Brother, that is why last year I turned downt their offer. They r too strict about their racist laws :P


@Akansha Agrawal
Oh.. I am kinda shy, so I dont know if I ll be able to talk like that in front of a crowd :)

@Nupur
I think that joke wud have sounded funny if I told it to u personally... so get ready for some more PJs.. heeheh

@Thoorika
Ah! Two is company!

@enchantinganki
hhehhehe.. well linked! me=gandhiji=khali... Ghandhiji must be squirming in his death bed. :P


@HIREN aka lamda
Ramesh Powar rocks. U dont need a joke to laugh at him. Usse toh dekh ke hi hassi aani chahiye :P



@Swetha Padakandla
hehehe.. haan re.. long time.. now i am back.. be afraid.. be very afraid..


@iceprincess
I ll accept the blog today..


@priya
thanks.. i hope u like it here..


@Shanu
:)

@s4n705h
heheheheh... good comparison.. how do you know so much about my knowledge about engg subjects :P

@The Chosen One
thank you

@Ankit Khandelwal
Thanks ankit. Have fun.

@Winnie the poohi
Thanks. Point noted ma'am :)

@Chronicwriter
Thank you.

@Sri
What to do yaar.. have to take inspiration from somewhere!

@brocasarea
hehehe.. arre look carefully at her.. she does shake her head a lot..

@damsel in distress
thanks..



On May 13, 2009 at 2:16 AM     
NG said...

whoaaa... i wonder how r u when u talk...does such gibberish flow with as much ease as is reflected in ur blog...
have to say...very nice blog :)


On May 13, 2009 at 9:14 PM     
AnjuGandhi said...

Black se mereko bhi yaad aaya your this post can change anybody's black mood to a rather bright colour.


On May 14, 2009 at 10:58 PM     
aroop said...

Bakwaas....

don't let the girls fool you.. they can't come close to my ruthlessnes..

Unless ofcourse you have started writing to impress girls rather than the reason you started out writing in the first place...


On August 3, 2009 at 11:22 PM     
Anonymous said...

Nice one..Loved reading it ..the flow is too good n has a good sense of humour...From having nothing to write u wrote so much..Keep writng..!! :)


On September 22, 2009 at 4:47 PM     
Anonymous said...

ttrrrrrrrrr

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