They should put them in jail for that..

Short story

Back in the 9th grade, asking a girl out for a movie was a big deal.. Since the advent of puberty, your voice had already started to crack.. It cracked even more when you had to ask that cute girl out for a movie.. Now this is 1999 I am talking about.. It wasnt easy to get the girl u like to go out with you then,..... to be honest, its still difficult..

So you knew this cute girl, long hair, lovely eyes you could lose yourself in, got dimples everytime she smiled.. So if you wanted to ask her out for a movie, the conversation with her would go something like this -
"umm.. did you watch that movie - Dil Se?"
Note that SRK was her favourite actor, so it made sense to mention his movie, even though you thought the movie was a dud and you better spend the evening watching Undertaker wrestle Bam-bam-Bigalo..
"not yet"
"oh.. would you.. I mean.. like to"(the voice cracks up here) "I mean.. watch it with this Sunday.."
She suddenly realises that hes asking her out.. she turns on her girlie radar, which essentially means shes gonna act full bhavkhao..
"umm.. I dont know.. My dad wont know.. alone.."

They should put them in jail for that..

You wanna ask, how can we be alone if we are together.. But you dont..

"Oh.. but we are not going alone..Your friends are coming too" An obvious lie.. But good thinking nevertheless..
"Who all?"
Think of names.. names..
"Suchitra, and Rajesh.. and Prajakta and..." You name 5-6 names that you know are her friends..
"thats good, I think I can ask my dad then.."

What follows next is trying to convince the 6 friends of her(whose names you mentioned) to come with you.. You lure them with free popcorn (kamine kahin ke) and they finally agree.

Then comes the booking of tickets.. Note that this is the time when there was no online booking.. So you had to stand in a long queue to get the advance booking.. You manage to get 8 tickets.. You take great care to ensure that two out of them are corner seats..
"Uncle corner seats diya na?"
"Haan yaar.."
You hear him telling the next in line - "Aaj-kal bacche bhi corner seat maangte hain" hehehe..

Finally Sunday arrives.. You get up early(which you usually dont), take a bath(which you usually do), apply half a bottle of perfume and reach the theatre..

She comes on time, but with her Dad in tow. Her dad drives his Maruti 800(we had only Maruti and Fiat back then) in through the theatre parking and almost runs you down.. Now these dads are the villainous types.. The problem is they had been teenagers once and know exactly what dirty things go on in the scum brain of the testosterone driven monster who asked his daughter out..

Her dad steps out of the door of the car and slams it.. These dad types work as managers in a MNC usually, and wear a tie to work, but when it comes to meeting his daughters male friend, he wears the unshaven look and lungi..
"Pappa, hes my friend, Abhi"
You look at pretty her, then look at her Dad.. And you wonder, how could someone like him make something this beautiful..
"Hello sir.."
Women enjoy this.. They want you to meet their dads.. Its their way of saying - "See, this man is my favourite person in the world, and if you can stand up to him, only then you have a chance with me.."

They should put them in jail for that..

You enter the hall, you make sure that you get the corner seats for yourself..You buy enough popcorn for her friends to be occupied... The lights dim.. Vicco Vajradanti ad plays.. The movie starts.. SRK starts jumping on a train.. Chal Chaiyaan Chaiyaan.. You are least interested in the song or in the movie for that matter.. You are interested in the cute girl sitting next to you.. You want to hold her hand.. no, not hold, just touch initially..

Clouds of nervousness loom over you, your palms become sweaty.. you wipe them on the thigh your jeans.. then all of a sudden, in a moment of gutsy drive, you touch her hand..

She pulls it back, almost like a reflex, then looks at you with wide eyes and a smile playing on her lips.. like shes amused, and she didnt expect you to do something like that.. Even in that dark hall, her eyes twinkle..

They should put them in jail for that..

The movie ends, you saw the movie only in bits and pieces, still it will be one of the best remembered movies of your life.. You start walking out of the dimly lit hall into the dimly lit parking.. When all her friends have left, she stands on her toes to reach your ear and whispers "thank you".. It will be ages before you understand the meaning...

Its 2009 and a lotta things have changed.. There are no single theatres now, Maruti has stopped manufacturing 800, popcorn is costlier than what was the ticket those days, even SRK sometimes comes up with meaningful cinema, but one thing hasnt changed, its still damn difficult to ask her out..

" watch a movie on Sunday?"
"Lemme see if I am free"
There she goes again..
"Oh comeon"
"hehe.. okay, which one?"
"How does it matter? hahaha"
It takes her a full two minutes to understand the joke behind that one...

She lands 4-5 playful punches, out of which two hurt..

Anyway, the movie starts.. Now that you are 23, you think it must get easier for you.. But it doesnt!..

You still get all nervous, your palms become sweaty.. It is still needs a lotta planning to put your arm across her shoulder.. You touch her hand.. this time she doesnt pull it away.. But she still gives that amused-mischievous look...Like after all these years she still doesnt expect you to hold her hand..

They should put them in jail for that...

The movie ends and the credits start rolling. You leave the hall with her.. You two walk through the huge driveway, sparsely crowded at this time of the night.. She walks closer to you than she normally does.. She holds your hand.. Theres something amazing bout that touch.. It seems to say that she trusts you and has complete faith in you... And it says that she knows you will keep her happy..

Her touch makes you feel strong.. responsible.. pure.. loved.. all at the same time.. as she walks close to you, holding your arm, she rests her head on your shoulder.. And you have the world..

"Thank you"... is all you can whisper in her ear..

She looks at you...smiles.. her eyes swell up with love... a drop finds its way to her cheek..

They should put them in jail for that... They should put them in jail for that..SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

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39 letters to the editor:

    "See, this man is my favourite person in the world, and if you can stand up to him, only then you have a chance with me.."
    aaaw man!!!
    and by the way..did i are my favourite human being on this of now....
    9995 to go..and if they are gonna be like this..i just see that i have booked myself at reader's paradise..
    u r a DELIGHT!

    On April 9, 2009 at 3:48 PM     
    Thoorika said...

    I don want to use the word "awwwwwww" but it is a sweet post !! and hilarious too !!!

    You get up early(which you usually dont), take a bath(which you usually do)


    On April 9, 2009 at 4:06 PM     
    Ashish said...

    hmmm....its really difficult to ask a girl out...especially if u like her a lot....

    I've tried many times but couldn't do it...only once I had a psuedo-success...when I asked her out but that was very incomplete type....u knw it ....u have read it...if you just in case it from here....

    such a sweet one!!

    it made me roll back to my those days! u read it ryt! 'those days' :P

    u have so written so well tht they should put u in jail for that.. lolzzz
    just kidding!


    On April 9, 2009 at 7:14 PM     
    sumit said...

    Wonder how you keep churning out sweet, insightful ,stolen straight from your hearts post so regularly!!!!


    On April 9, 2009 at 8:30 PM     
    Anonymous said...


    On April 9, 2009 at 8:55 PM     
    Nupur said...

    Haha!!! What a wonderful break I got from the stupid exams..thanks to your blog!!

    coming back to the post, finally a girl-boy love story...!! And that too without a sad ending!!
    Really nice! Especially the two 'thank you'!!

    On April 9, 2009 at 10:40 PM     
    Reema said...

    wonderful and sweet love story :)

    sweetness and understanding of small gestures comes automatically when one is in love :)

    such a lovely post!

    On April 9, 2009 at 10:57 PM     
    Sam said...

    whats her name??

    On April 9, 2009 at 10:57 PM     
    Sam said...

    whats her name??

    On April 9, 2009 at 11:36 PM     
    Harish said...

    Sugar , sugar everywhere. I have nearly forgotten how salt tastes. Please refresh me next time!!

    Btw, a typical Arshat post, this... U shud patent this writing style!

    On April 10, 2009 at 1:36 AM     
    NEERAJ said...

    I shall bail u out even if they put u in jail for that if u keep on writing such lovely posts!!!! lolz..

    On April 10, 2009 at 7:09 AM     
    Sri said...

    They should put them in jail for that...reminds me of a poem...
    "Arrest her, her eyes giving me the effect of drugs"

    Very well written, literally taken us to your days!Gr8 posting!!keep it up!

    they should put them in jail.. arshat! its time you bought this domain... think about it...

    how come your posts are this sweet? hmm..nevas, had fun reading this one...:)
    "See, this man is my favourite person in the world, and if you can stand up to him, only then you have a chance with me.."

    don't tell me you came up with that urself.

    On April 10, 2009 at 11:58 PM     
    s4n705h said...

    You r still the best.. ultimate love story.

    Hi Arshat. only one word. brilliant.

    you are a brilliant blogger. i almost felt like i walked through those 50 miles in the rain.fine description.

    and this one made me laugh like i never had.

    keep entertaining.

    On April 12, 2009 at 12:41 AM     
    aroop said...

    kya bakwaas blog tha... i don't come to your blog to read what happens to every guy with every girl he likes...

    just like people didn't go to theaters to watch madhur bhandarkar's traffic signal cos they saw all of it themselves... :P

    off topic..

    listen to Calvin Harris - I'm not alone
    The Script - The man who can't be moved..

    ahhhhhhhhhhhh what a romantic :P and nice quip about the dad :P

    On April 12, 2009 at 4:13 PM     
    Nikita said...

    what a wonderful post.

    They really should put YOU in jail for that.

    It's illegal to write so intimately familiar and touching posts :)

    I should thank Reema for giving you an award and bringing this beautiful post to us :)
    Absolutely loved it.

    And lol yes I really read tht :)

    On April 15, 2009 at 10:38 AM     
    Rashmi said...

    I m quite impressed by your way of writing...
    sweet luv story :-)
    thanks to reema for brining this to my notice.. :-)

    nice wrk dude...
    liked it.......
    & can relate 2 it too...
    @ dis age it shuld b lot easier 2 ask a gal out, but v still find it diffult.. :P

    btw dude wo ladki kon hian?? ;-)

    Fav human being? me? *blushes*

    Thank you :)

    Yeah, I have read that one. Best of luck for your future dates man :)

    @Swetha Padakandla
    Ah... those days.. I know.. sigh :)

    Thanks Sumit. I just write what I feel like that day :)



    Chalo, kissi kam toh aaya apna blog :)

    @Reema said
    Thank you :)

    I agree completely

    hmm.. good question :P

    Chal tere liye next time I will churn out something different :)

    Gld you liked it :)

    Nice poem, is that your own creation?

    hmm.. Will bug you with this domain thingy. Let me know the pros and
    cons of having your own domain :)

    @damsel in distress
    I came up with that line myself. *proud smile*

    Thanks man.. Always good to hear from an old friend.

    @sudhir kekre
    Thanks for the kind words sudir. Keep reading :)

    Ah.. arent you a loving brother :P
    I will catch those songs sometime. Thanks.

    @Elithraniel Arawion
    Me? romantic? hmm.. :P

    Thanks. :)

    Awww soo mushy! how come ?

    On April 20, 2009 at 1:56 PM     
    DPhatsez said...

    Dear Editor

    sigh! kitno se pooche the! kisi ne haan nahin kahaan.
    Recession ko abhi aana tha jab finally koi ready thi ;)

    It should be put in jail!


    it was Awesome!!!
    really nice i was visualizing the entire thing while reading.... was back in time.. he he he...

    Loved it.... keep writing!! :)

    On April 23, 2009 at 6:08 PM     
    Anonymous said...

    dear mr.editor,
    i suppose ud like all girls to accept em boys instantly?
    i think u need to know our side of the story too... v deserve a chance now don we?(flutter flutter!!)
    try it out if u interested in findin out wat we women think of dem men...

    btw nice blog!!! guess id have to come back.. atleast to do some quality male-bashing!! :P

    On April 28, 2009 at 12:14 AM     
    Anonymous said...

    Is it wrong to fall in love wit u everytime i read ur post...

    Is it wrong to have ur blog as my home page....

    Is it wrong to check and re check every single day hopin to find a new post...

    Is it wrong to post an anonymous comment and yet hope that you reply to it...

    Is it wrong to hope tht u fall in love wit me too...just by readin these insane comments

    If it is...they should put me in jail for that!

    @winnie the poohi
    Well, you see, my grandfather was from nagpur and my grandmother was a bucket of mush :P

    Right on mate.. Recession is the culprit, our charming skills are perfect, its only coz of this damn recession tht we dont get girls :P

    Glad u liked the post..

    As weird as it may sound, we want our girls to like us instantly.. I mean, we are such amazing beings, how can they not find us irressitable at first sight :P

    I dont know what to say! I am sorry for not posting regularly, I didnt realise there is someone who checks the blog everyday.

    I reply to every comment, anon or otherwise. You must have your own reasons for post anon, but I will like you to post with a pen name, just so that I have some name I can address you with.

    Your comment has been among the most touching ones. I will always remember it.

    Thank you, Anon.

    On April 29, 2009 at 12:36 AM     
    Sree said...

    Beautifully put across emotions...She pinched me, 10 yrs ago when we went for a movie...I had not even touched...
    Loved the way you compared 99 with 2009!! cool!! :D that you dont think I am sum kinda weirdo...i can disclose my identity...i am actually regretting my decision of postin anon..but better late thn never they say..and ya...thanks for ur wrds of encouragemnt...they really mean a lot :)

    On May 2, 2009 at 9:53 PM     
    priya said...

    i've only 1 thing 2 say over dis....."They shud put u at the numero uno position for this....."
    nice post really.....hilariously cute.....keep it up man.....they sure need
    ppl like u........:) :)

    On May 7, 2009 at 9:54 PM     
    brocasarea said...


    On May 7, 2009 at 9:54 PM     
    brocasarea said...

    reminds me of russel peters dialogue!!

    On March 21, 2010 at 7:22 PM     
    Urvashi said...

    awesome post......!! :)

    On March 23, 2010 at 3:25 PM     
    Swaram said...

    LOL ... gud one :)