The TimePass of India

Firstly, I apologize to everyone whom I had promised that I will be online on the time(you know who you are). I has grossly miscalculated the stress of this course that I have undertaken here at MDI. I use the word 'undertaken' in the same vein as 'undertaker'. Because its killing me, but I want to 'undetake' it before it undertakes me. Dude, its 4 in the morning, you wont get better quotes than these.

Anyway, to demonstrate the point that we are damn busy, let me drive home a few pointers. Know how MBA students whine about how less time they have and stuff (sissies). Well digest this - These guys have 14 lectures per week(IIMs included). The course that we have, makes us face 27 lectures per week! Thats double of what all other courses in India attend. And they still dont have time! Just imagine what must we be going through! You cant imagine stuff till you actually do stuff - Here I will take you through with the kinda choices I have to make nowadays -

1. Should I cut my nails or read that article the Prof asked to read?

2. Should I go to the cooler to drink water or should I research for that Presentation due tomorrow?

3. Do I study for tomorrow's quiz or do I beat Shantanu's ass at TT(Shantanu, if you are reading this, its my blog and I can write whatever I want, I can make myself look good. Come to think of it, that is the only reason I started writing a blog. Wanna tell your side of the story, get your own blog.)

4. Should I take a bath or write a blogpost?

So whenever you see a post updated here, you know...

I am sure you have got my point. So coming to the other nitty gritties of the program. Its an International Management course. Now this is truly International and one of a kind in the country. In this course we study at MDI for a year and then go to Berlin/Paris for an year. No prizes for guessing that I will be going to Berlin this March. The only other country I would like to be in after India is Germany. I have always had this strange liking for Germany and its people.

Btw, forgot to tell you, since mine is an International course, there are a few firangs who will be joining the class. We have been assigned buddies. Infact I met my buddy today. A German guy. Damn cool. Not as cool as me though. Not his mistake, no ones as cool as me. I dont understand why you are still reading the post. Anyway, I was saying hes pretty cool and knows a lot about India and Indian history. We are waiting for the rest of the foreign batch to come in. Especially the French and German girls. The guys back home must be hating me right now. Saalon, thoda CAT padh lete, you could have been here. And I would be back home. Still sleeping for 10 hours a day. Its because of dumbasses like you that guys like me have to abandon a near perfect life and come to a place where sleeping for 5 hours is a luxury.

Coming back to the to the topic (if there was any), the question remains, why dont I bunk lectures. After all I am no Rahul Bhat! My previous records will show that I have not attended more than 30% lectures in any semester. So why this sudden transformation??

I will tell you why! The Profs here are damn Good (with a capital G). There is this guy who teaches IAS guys some stuff, then there is this Public policy guy has worked with a nobel laureate, then this guy who was appointed by the president of India to head a company... I can go on and on... The way of teaching is excellent. Student particiapation is encouraged. Never ever have I found the Prof not being able to answer my question.. The bottom line being, they are super cool. Also our classroom is eye-candy. I almost love it as much I love my terrace hostel room. The guys here are real nice. Intially it took me a lot of time to make friends, it usually does take time for me, but here it was more than usual, maybe the cultural difference or stuff. But anyway, I am great friends with most of them now, and inspite of the militant schedule we try to have fun.

Fun se yaad aya, we had a party today. It was a thanksgiving party. We thanked our seniors for all they had done for us, and what better way than to host a party for them. It was quite a party. After so many days I had coke today. The soft drink, I mean. Hehehe. Please laugh, its late and thats the best I could come up with. My only problem was with the DJ. So many of mainu-tainu punjabi songs yaar. He must have played Kala Chasma (dont give the importance to the video) around 6 times. I mean, its a good song, but 6 times! And the problem is, had he played it for the 7th times the guys would have still danced crazy! The dance btw has to be bhangra. That is the only dance form allowed. But its pretty easy this bhangra thingy. You should have you hands raised with your index finger pointing towards the sky. Thats it! By the end of the night, even our German classmate had learnt to dance bhangra-istyle.

There are a few French students on the campus too, you should see them dance man! I mean, sometimes even I dont understand what the punjabi song means, but look at these guys yaar, they keep gyrating at anything. Its like me dancing to French tunes!

Anyway, the point being Indians rock, and so do the Europeans, not as much as we do, but we are teaching them, and they should get there before they leave.

One last thing before I wind up, I have to get up early tomorrow, I have a lecture. I know tommorow is a Sunday. But aint got no holiday. Infact, I havent had a holiday since the last 15 days. So why dont I go sleep? Well, I thought I had already enjoyed so much in a night, why not jot it down while it is all fresh.

Anyway, the sky is turning blue as I write this. The posts in the future will be shorter and crisper and more frequent(hopefully) in the future.

Till then guys, take care and have fun.

Its been 2 full weeks in Gurgaon now. I have found this place very different compared to aamchi mumbai. Like-
Half of the batch is from saddi Delhi. Every fourth guy's surname is Gupta. Reebok is a bigger brand than nike. Amul makes 50% of its sales in this part of the country!

I have also noted a behavioural difference in the Delhi guys here(kya MBA ki tarah baat kar raha hoon na!). They are kinda dependent on their parents. And parents dont really mind it. Need a tie, call the dad, he will send a tie in his car. Need washing powder, call your mom, she sends it in her car. I sometimes envy the kinda life these guys live. In Mumbai, most kids dont live such a protective life. Though Mumbai makes us independent, it in some ways reduces the length of one's childhood. Anyway, enough gyan. The point is that this is a timepass blog and things which make us think are not allowed here.

So back to the topic- Here at MDI we have washing machines at every floor of the hostel. I wash my clothes every Sunday in the washing machine. (However, I take a bath everyday!)

This is something that I overheard near the washing machine... This is how the story goes -

There were 3 Delhi guys trying to wash their clothes in the washing machine. They surrounded the machine like surgeons surround a patient on an operating table. If three delhi guys are friends, one of them has to be a sardarji... else they call it a foul!

So these guys, 2 guys and a sardarji, had surrounded the washing machine with washing powder and bucket full of clothes, wondering how to start the thing. The dialogue is given below. I have kept it in hindi to maintain the fun quotient of the whole thing.

The funny thing here is that, all of these guys had washing machines at their homes but had never operated it!! I mean how lazy can you get? My brother Aroop is the laziest guy I know and even he knows how to operate the washing machine! (Taking digs at your cousin through your blog : Priceless!)

Delhi guy 1: Oye yeh chalti kaise hai?

Delhi guy 2: Arre yaar.. Mumma ko fone karke poochna padega...

Delhi guy 3: (with supreme confidence) Arre bahut aasan cheez hai bey yeh.. load na le..

DG1: aacha? Kya karna hota hai?

DG3: Bas machine khol ke kapde ghused do!

DG2: (Pointing to the knobs on the washing machine) Abbey yeh knobs ka kya karen? Kaunsa ghumana hota hai?

DG3: Abbe woh nahi patah. Mumma ko sirf kapde ghusedte hue dekha tha..

DG1: Abbe wohi toh important hai!

Chal mumma ko call karta hoon...

Hello mumma? Yeh washing machine kaise chalate hain? Aacha? Knob ghuma doon? Light load? Delicate? Haan haan.. Yahan likha hai! Thik hai.. Thik.. Thik.. Okay.. OOokay..

(With a sigh of relief and a proud smile on his face) Chalo bhai, kaam ho gaya. Yeh knob ghumana hai.

Lo, ghuma diya..

Abbe chalu kyun nahi ho rahi?

Yeh doosra knob bhi toh hai?

Yeh toh temperature hai... Pani garam karta hai...

Garam pani? Kyun?

Patah nahi yaar.. Kapde aache saaf hote honge.

Chalo garam kardo bilkul.. 70 pe chala do..

Yaar ab bhi chalu nahi ho rahi..

Phir se call lagaon?

Hello mumma? Chalo nahi ho rahi hai? Haan? kiya. Haan? Woh bhi kiya. Nahi chalu ho rahi hai.. Accha phuphi(Aunt) ko conference mein le le?(Seems like Phuphiji was more tech savvy than mom) Hello phuphiji? Washing machine nahi chalu ho rahi... Haan.. Haan.. Mumma ek second, phuphi ko bol lene do na.. Haan kiya.. phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.. Accha thik hai dekh leta hoon...

Kya hua? Kuch patah chala?

Nahi yaar. Sab kuch toh theek kiya hai. Phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.

Oye teri koi girlfriend hai? Usko call karke pooch liyo yaar...

Abbe? Washing machine chalane ke liye girlfriend ko call karun? Thik hai karta hoon.. Marwaoge tum log..
Hello sweetie, ki haal chal? Haan bas thik hai.. haan bas chal raha hai.. yahan ki bandiyan(girls) utne aachi nahi hai yaar.. arre nahi karunga flirt.. haan.. promise.. arre woh sab chod, mujhe bata tujhe washing machine chalane aati hai? Arre yaar engineer toh hoon, lekin washing machine kabhi chalayi nahi na.. Mazak mat kar yaar, batana, aati hai? haan.. haan.. okay.. okay.. thik hai.. chal try karke dekhta hoon... haan haan.. me too...me too.. friends hai yaar paas mein... haan yaar, flirt nahi karunga.. bye.

Kya boli?

Arre wohi jo teri phuphi boli..

Toh saale itni der kya baat kar raha tha?

Abbe ab tere kapdon ke chakkar mein kudi se bhi baat na karun?

Arre gussa na ho yaar, mazak kar raha tha...

Yahan pe machine chal nahi rahi hai aur tum log pagalpanti kar rahe ho yaar..

Arre aise kaise nahi chalegi.. Kuch toh gadbad hai..

Oye, yeh button kis liye hai? Daba ke dekhun?

Haan haan.. dabade

Sambhaliyo..

Oye teri.. yeh toh batti jal gayi...

Abbe yaar.. yeh toh start button tha.. gadhe pehle nahi daba sakta tha...

Abbe phuphi ne yeh nahi bataya tujhe, ki start bhi karni hoti hai?

Teri girlfriend ne nahi bataya tujhe? Wahan toh - me too.. me too.. chal raha tha..

Abbe kyun jhagad rahe ho yaar! Shuru ho gayi na machine. Bas.

Haan yaar.. shuru toh ho gayi.. Dekh kaise ghum rahi hai!

Haan yaar... badhiya saaf ho jaayenge kapde...

chalo ab kuch parathe-sharathe khatein hain..

They returned back after an hour to see that the machine was still on. They came back after one and a half and the machine was still working. I dunno what setting had they set the machine on, but it kept working for 6 hours! Last heard, they were calling the women of the house to ask how to turn off the Washing machine!!