3 Delhi guys and a Washing machine

Its been 2 full weeks in Gurgaon now. I have found this place very different compared to aamchi mumbai. Like-
Half of the batch is from saddi Delhi. Every fourth guy's surname is Gupta. Reebok is a bigger brand than nike. Amul makes 50% of its sales in this part of the country!

I have also noted a behavioural difference in the Delhi guys here(kya MBA ki tarah baat kar raha hoon na!). They are kinda dependent on their parents. And parents dont really mind it. Need a tie, call the dad, he will send a tie in his car. Need washing powder, call your mom, she sends it in her car. I sometimes envy the kinda life these guys live. In Mumbai, most kids dont live such a protective life. Though Mumbai makes us independent, it in some ways reduces the length of one's childhood. Anyway, enough gyan. The point is that this is a timepass blog and things which make us think are not allowed here.

So back to the topic- Here at MDI we have washing machines at every floor of the hostel. I wash my clothes every Sunday in the washing machine. (However, I take a bath everyday!)

This is something that I overheard near the washing machine... This is how the story goes -

There were 3 Delhi guys trying to wash their clothes in the washing machine. They surrounded the machine like surgeons surround a patient on an operating table. If three delhi guys are friends, one of them has to be a sardarji... else they call it a foul!

So these guys, 2 guys and a sardarji, had surrounded the washing machine with washing powder and bucket full of clothes, wondering how to start the thing. The dialogue is given below. I have kept it in hindi to maintain the fun quotient of the whole thing.

The funny thing here is that, all of these guys had washing machines at their homes but had never operated it!! I mean how lazy can you get? My brother Aroop is the laziest guy I know and even he knows how to operate the washing machine! (Taking digs at your cousin through your blog : Priceless!)

Delhi guy 1: Oye yeh chalti kaise hai?

Delhi guy 2: Arre yaar.. Mumma ko fone karke poochna padega...

Delhi guy 3: (with supreme confidence) Arre bahut aasan cheez hai bey yeh.. load na le..

DG1: aacha? Kya karna hota hai?

DG3: Bas machine khol ke kapde ghused do!

DG2: (Pointing to the knobs on the washing machine) Abbey yeh knobs ka kya karen? Kaunsa ghumana hota hai?

DG3: Abbe woh nahi patah. Mumma ko sirf kapde ghusedte hue dekha tha..

DG1: Abbe wohi toh important hai!

Chal mumma ko call karta hoon...

Hello mumma? Yeh washing machine kaise chalate hain? Aacha? Knob ghuma doon? Light load? Delicate? Haan haan.. Yahan likha hai! Thik hai.. Thik.. Thik.. Okay.. OOokay..

(With a sigh of relief and a proud smile on his face) Chalo bhai, kaam ho gaya. Yeh knob ghumana hai.

Lo, ghuma diya..

Abbe chalu kyun nahi ho rahi?

Yeh doosra knob bhi toh hai?

Yeh toh temperature hai... Pani garam karta hai...

Garam pani? Kyun?

Patah nahi yaar.. Kapde aache saaf hote honge.

Chalo garam kardo bilkul.. 70 pe chala do..

Yaar ab bhi chalu nahi ho rahi..

Phir se call lagaon?

Hello mumma? Chalo nahi ho rahi hai? Haan? kiya. Haan? Woh bhi kiya. Nahi chalu ho rahi hai.. Accha phuphi(Aunt) ko conference mein le le?(Seems like Phuphiji was more tech savvy than mom) Hello phuphiji? Washing machine nahi chalu ho rahi... Haan.. Haan.. Mumma ek second, phuphi ko bol lene do na.. Haan kiya.. phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.. Accha thik hai dekh leta hoon...

Kya hua? Kuch patah chala?

Nahi yaar. Sab kuch toh theek kiya hai. Phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.

Oye teri koi girlfriend hai? Usko call karke pooch liyo yaar...

Abbe? Washing machine chalane ke liye girlfriend ko call karun? Thik hai karta hoon.. Marwaoge tum log..
Hello sweetie, ki haal chal? Haan bas thik hai.. haan bas chal raha hai.. yahan ki bandiyan(girls) utne aachi nahi hai yaar.. arre nahi karunga flirt.. haan.. promise.. arre woh sab chod, mujhe bata tujhe washing machine chalane aati hai? Arre yaar engineer toh hoon, lekin washing machine kabhi chalayi nahi na.. Mazak mat kar yaar, batana, aati hai? haan.. haan.. okay.. okay.. thik hai.. chal try karke dekhta hoon... haan haan.. me too...me too.. friends hai yaar paas mein... haan yaar, flirt nahi karunga.. bye.

Kya boli?

Arre wohi jo teri phuphi boli..

Toh saale itni der kya baat kar raha tha?

Abbe ab tere kapdon ke chakkar mein kudi se bhi baat na karun?

Arre gussa na ho yaar, mazak kar raha tha...

Yahan pe machine chal nahi rahi hai aur tum log pagalpanti kar rahe ho yaar..

Arre aise kaise nahi chalegi.. Kuch toh gadbad hai..

Oye, yeh button kis liye hai? Daba ke dekhun?

Haan haan.. dabade


Oye teri.. yeh toh batti jal gayi...

Abbe yaar.. yeh toh start button tha.. gadhe pehle nahi daba sakta tha...

Abbe phuphi ne yeh nahi bataya tujhe, ki start bhi karni hoti hai?

Teri girlfriend ne nahi bataya tujhe? Wahan toh - me too.. me too.. chal raha tha..

Abbe kyun jhagad rahe ho yaar! Shuru ho gayi na machine. Bas.

Haan yaar.. shuru toh ho gayi.. Dekh kaise ghum rahi hai!

Haan yaar... badhiya saaf ho jaayenge kapde...

chalo ab kuch parathe-sharathe khatein hain..

They returned back after an hour to see that the machine was still on. They came back after one and a half and the machine was still working. I dunno what setting had they set the machine on, but it kept working for 6 hours! Last heard, they were calling the women of the house to ask how to turn off the Washing machine!!

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36 letters to the editor:

    sahi hian...
    nice 1 dude..
    & i knw ye bande aise hi hote hian..
    hv many of thm here...
    mumma ko fon karu????????

    exactly same dialogues...

    hey what a great post.
    good to see that you havent lost your sense of humor after shifting to delhi.
    but beware. dont give your blog to anyone there.
    usi washing machine main daal kar dho denge. :P

    On July 7, 2009 at 11:46 PM     
    UkTheGreat said...

    I agree ki tu every Sunday clothes dhota hai but i dont agree ki tu nahata hai...
    kya blog hai awesome man, aur last wala part to bhari tha.
    "they were calling the women of the house to ask how to turn off the Washing machine!!".... sahi keep it up man..

    On July 7, 2009 at 11:50 PM     
    Harish said...

    Lol!! Stop taking digs at the Northies...udhar rehna hai tereko 2 full years..try not to become one by the time you return back..!!

    On July 8, 2009 at 12:12 AM     
    NG said...

    ohhhh my God...this is hiallllarious...
    did u really witness/hear it ...or made it up...either ways...too funny

    i wonder how can a girl be with such dumbos...:)

    On July 8, 2009 at 12:16 AM     
    Bullshee said...

    Ha ha ha ha!!!Ridiculously funny!!

    "friends hai yaar paas mein..." this was the best line of the whole thing!!

    ROTFL!! Really rolling!

    On July 8, 2009 at 2:16 AM     
    soumya said...

    First to comment.. hope was fiction :mm


    so funny.. :D

    On July 8, 2009 at 11:39 AM     
    Thoorika said...


    Taking digs at your cousin through your blog : Priceless!

    Chance pe dance.. ? badiya..! :D :D

    On July 8, 2009 at 2:21 PM     
    Unknown said...

    good1 Arshat.....

    On July 8, 2009 at 2:53 PM     
    Nupur said...

    Hilarious.....as usual!!! Drop by other people's blogs too!!!

    On July 8, 2009 at 5:42 PM     
    Sumit said...

    2 guys and a sardarjee !!!
    A sardar is also a guy , though admittedly at times , they strongly suggest otherwise.

    and yes, delhites have better things to do than learn to operate a washing machine.

    On July 8, 2009 at 6:54 PM     
    Anonymous said...

    1st of all the blogpost was awesome..now now!! jyada chane ke jhaad pe chadh mat.. :P ... technical error..machine CHALU kaise krte hain?? hahaaaaaa... thts mumbaiyaa hindi..chalu is a word derived frm marathi :P ... chalu as in start..the delhi guys, i guess must hve said,"machine SHURU kaise karte hain" ... :P
    aise hi tang khich rahi hun.. nice!

    On July 8, 2009 at 8:16 PM     
    Reema said...

    lol :D

    On July 8, 2009 at 10:23 PM     
    Anonymous said...

    Hehehheeheheheheheee... Did this really happen?? LOLzzzz... Dumbasses.


    sahi hai boss!!

    i can literally imagine the whole seen, specially in delhi accent!

    oh mummaaaaaaaaaaa!

    and that one, "ha yaar, flirt nahi karunga" hehe

    sahi hai


    bhari hai re!

    roflmao....lol absolutely hilarious!!!! u have observed delhi people accurately especially d guys... ma de laadle...hehe!!

    Ha ha ha, really hilarious, dude!

    This one's sure gonna invite a lot of brickbats from the Delhi guys.

    Ha ha ha ha :-)

    On July 10, 2009 at 6:00 PM     
    Rohan said...

    Funny post but take my advice...dont disregard Sardarjis...one of them might just come to your help when u least expect it...have a nice stay in Delhi...Each city has its own characteristics and one should respect what the city is all about...the great bombay vs delhi debate will never end but a line can be drawn to keep the discussion healthy...
    keep writing.

    On July 11, 2009 at 4:10 AM     
    aroop said...

    oye when did I tell you I can operate the Washing machine...

    I never learnt it, I can barely manage making maggi noodles and even then it always turns out with too much or too less water lol...

    but I'm sure, I'd do a better job than theses doofuses...

    On July 11, 2009 at 8:07 PM     
    Shanu said...

    ROFL..awesome as usual!

    On July 12, 2009 at 8:45 PM     
    Sree said...

    Lolz...so typical of the dilli ke launde! :D
    The call to gf was hilarious! ;)

    On July 13, 2009 at 4:56 PM     
    Samudra said...

    hahaha... hilarious blog!!

    Something similar had happenned to me in Jakarta too.. had gone for an onsite trip... The hotel had a washing machine... on which everything was written in some god only knows what language... and colour coded too!! Red, green, blue, yellow, everything was ther... except what each one meant... Turned and twisted some knobs... till it started working.
    Chala to aisa chal ... stupid machine stopped only the next morning!! :D

    On July 13, 2009 at 5:54 PM     
    Anonymous said...

    this is sooooo funny..!! too good! :D

    On July 15, 2009 at 2:34 AM     
    Smi said...

    LoL !!! just cud not stop laughing at this post...

    yaise hee posr likiyoo..hum phir yahan par guzra karenge...heyyyyy !!!

    On July 15, 2009 at 3:22 PM     
    karan said...

    That was severely hilarious!!!
    I can operate that stuff, I am intelligent than the MBAs :P

    On July 15, 2009 at 6:14 PM     
    Anonymous said...

    Hahaha!!! Ameer baap ke bigde hue bachche!!! :D

    On July 16, 2009 at 12:09 PM     
    hyderabadi said...

    ur prev posts were good but cant understand hindi

    On July 16, 2009 at 3:33 PM     
    Nikita said...

    haha... that was funny. Almost accurate observations :)

    can't stop giggling

    being a delhiite i even can't comment ...


    On July 26, 2009 at 5:16 PM     
    Gauri said...

    awesomely funny!!!

    i can't stop ROFLing!

    On July 28, 2009 at 8:18 PM     
    Unknown said...

    Hilarious post man...but being a pukka Delhi guy plus a Punjabi, I'd love to disagree with u...but after 2 years, I'm sure u'll realize that u've always been wrong ;)

    On August 1, 2009 at 2:48 PM     
    Harsh said...

    ha ha ha .. sahi hai ... Mumma,s boys ... lol

    so were you spying on them or you were also involved in the incident .. lol :P

    btw .. excellent blog with an excellent design ... and the fun quotient is great as well ... am subscribing to it .. :D

    On August 3, 2009 at 11:29 PM     
    Anonymous said...

    hmm...nice one....the conversation ws excellent..!! n yeah wo 3 frnds me se ek ke sardar hone k baat..so true man..!!!

    I chkd wid all my frnds n found ur anaysis perfect..!!!! :)

    On August 1, 2010 at 11:13 PM     
    Mads said...

    hahaha cool one :D