The TimePass of India

Its finally here! The day all of you have been waiting for. Okay, not you, but the day I was waiting for. After seven days (working days) of sleepless nights, my wildchild is here. The Dell Inspiron 1545. For guys who would like to buy something similar, here's the configuration and the price-



Processor: T6400(2.0 Ghz/ 800 Mhz/ 2Mb Cache)
Ram: 3 Gb
Hard disk: 250 Gb
Graphic card: 4500MHD Media accelator (32Mb)
Screen size: 15.6"
Bluetooth: Yes
Card Reader: Yes
Web cam: Yes
Wi-Fi: Yes
Colour: Red (Matt finish)
Price: Rs. 35,800 (Landing price) [Got a small discount]

Now that I have bored you enough, let me bore you a little more. Let me explain to you each and every term that I mentioned above.

Now, had I been yapping infront of a live audience, most of them would be asleep by now, but thats the real beauty of blogspot, I cant see you, so I can yap my way to glory. The last time I tried explaining stuff to my sister, she got so annoyed that she locked me up in the spare bathroom(we have a huge house). I was in there for 3 days. I lost 5 kgs and my biceps are now 26" down from the usual 28".
On second thoughts, I think, I shouldnt be taking the risk of explaining to you guys the basics of computers, simply coz, I have a lot of female readers(all 3 of them), and they might end up doing to me what my sister did so successfully.

But I wish to share with you this incident that happened a few years ago. We- me and my college friend C- (on the rare days we attended college) were sitting in the computer lab in college.
C noticed that the PC's 80 Gb ram was full. Obviously, the official data, data as in Visual basic, C, C++ programs, excel sheets, word files etc was only 214Kb. There were around 50Gb of movies, 10Gb of episodes of 'Police chases gone wrong' and the rest were, well, hidden in the system 32 folder! Why hidden? If you are an engineer, then you know!

So C wanted to save this "important file"- 'comedy scenes from Marathi movies' on the drive. Personally, I dont see the need to watch comedy. Our college and professors provided generous offering of comedy. The file was around 1 Gb. "Disk full" popped up on the screen.

C: Abbe? Kya faltugiri hai! 80Gb hard disk bhi full ho gaya!
Arshat (Me): Aisa kya store kiya hai bey hard disk pe?
Check kar... Phir delete kar
Tere ko yeh comedy scenes kyun store karne ka hai lab PC pe?
Arre nahi toh bahut bore hota hai lab mein..
Already stored hai na movies, woh dekh...
Sab english movies hai... Aur ek bhi comedy movie nahi hai...
Hmm.. (Going through the Pc) Kitna movies hai bey!
50Gb ka movies hai
10 Gb ka Police chases hai
50+10=60. Baki 20 Gb kya hai?
Arre programs, word files, excel files... kaam kiya hoga public ne..
Pagal hai kya? Itna kaam? Yeh dekh 214Kb kaam kiya hai sirf.
Toh baki 20Gb kya hai?
Ruk, files hidden hai..
Yeh kya hai. Saale System 32 ka files hai.
Itna Gb nahi hai System 32.
We played the first "hidden" file.
Shit.. shittt... bannnd kar saaleeee..
Arre ruk na.. ruk na..
Abbe koi aayega toh..?
Arre computer lab hai! Kaun aata hai yahan pe?
Saaleeee... band kar...
Abbe apaan ne thodi load kiya hai yeh sab files... Chal tere liye window chota karke dekta hoon..
The door opened.
Banndd kar saaalleeee...
Saying that I turned the switch of the spike guard off.
The door opened. We feared the worst. What if someone had heard the sound of the hidden movie. The probability of that was low though, the lab was AC and a thick door quarantined the room.
A girl entered. Probably a senior. Maybe from computers. I take this guess coz they had many pretty girls in IT and computers.
Thampi Sir?
Umm.. no, he's not here.
What are you guys doing?
We are working.
But the computer is turned off.
We were going to turn it on.
She gave us a look of suspicion and left.
Chal fir se On karte hain
Shot mat de saale.
Projector connect karte hai kya?
Saaaleeee...

Ah.. lovely days those were. Wonder if they will ever come back. Sometimes I wonder if we should have connected the projector. What would be the maximum penalty if we were caught? Was it worth the risk? How would it be to watch it on a projector? I guess I will never find out.

Anyway, this post got really senti for all the wrong reasons, I meant to write this post to update you on my laptop status(Not tht you care or anything). I have shared so many things with you, thought should share this too!

I make it sound like I am getting married!

Update: Inspite of the gentleman that I am, I forgot to thank all my friends who helped me zero in on this laptop - Hiren aka Lamda, Rishikesh Bhise, Chaitanya Aathyle, Ameya Sohoni, Nupur.. Thank you guys. You rock :) Yours is here: Dell Inspiron 1545

Its been a long time since I posted! I received many smses from ppl who allegedly read my blog and they thanked me for taking a break from all the crap tht I have been publishing all so religiously for the last 6 1/2 months.... But you know wht...the celebrations are over! Jack is Back...er..srry I got carried there...

So? Wht do you wanna talk about? (Dont even bother answering, I cant hear you!) Let me tell you about my workplace...

As you know I work in (beep)... Some names have been changed (or beeped) to protect their identity...
My company is the leader in er...actually they are the leaders in whtever they choose to do! Transformers, Power distribution, automation, etc. etc. They are World no.1 (or thts wht they tell us) in all the fields I mentioned above...

The factory where I work is the Salma Hayek of factories... Its so clean tht you can even sleep on the shopfloor! (Actually you can sleep anywhere if you can sleep in my room...)
The canteen is amazing! Its the Hilary duff of canteens... The food is provided by a mallu gentleman. And if we continue with the analogy it turns out tht Hillary's father is a mallu! Hillary Kotian!! hahaha....


But obviously you came here to read my rants! But you havent got any yet...Its like David Dhawan trying to direct Swades! So here are my ramblings...

There are somthings I wud lik to change here... Firstly I want the timings changed... I dont particularly like getting up early. Also I want a off on saturdays. Who made this rule about core companies workin on sats and Software cos gettin a holiday...

Oh, yeah! maybe the softys get real tired of typing on the PC... And we dont get tired of working on the shopfloor... Who do they think we are? Who am I ? Spiderman? Its my gift..its my curse... (oopsie! I wasnt supposed to reveal my identity on my blog)


Warning: Despo mechie talking crazy..
And yes! I want more girls on the shopfloor! And I dont mean the anjuman types...

It will be an insult to the pretty factory! I want girls like Courtney cox and Salma hayek working it out on the shopfloor... For Pete's sake, whatever happened to gender equality in this country! (I can see my face being blackened by Shiv sena's mahila mandal...)

And...hmm...How about increasing our salaries ? I mean, we are working for cashew nuts! I mean cashew nuts in Goa! (Cashew nuts are cheaper than peanuts in Goa)

And how about makin me the President of operations, India...er... maybe tht was too ambitious of me... k.. Vice President will do for now...

Btw, inorder tht you guys believe tht I work a lil bit...lemme tell you tht I have my own Dell
laptop (2 gb ram) and my own fone (all calls are free!). Maybe its time they gift me a car... Honda Civic is wht I want... But wht the heck? I can work with a Honda City too...

God...they are gonna kick me out after reading this....So much for blogging...





Salma Hayek of all factories...