The TimePass of India

I have been TAGGED!! I have been TAGGED!! Finally after years of making blog friends and stuff, I have been Tagged. Santosh has tagged me with the number 8

Here is a list of the tags(in blue) I am supposed to write about...So here goes..

Eight things I am passionate about:

This is difficult. Since I belong to LOECT (League of extraordinarily confused twenty somethings)
1. Sitcoms
2. Advertisements (both print and TV)
3. Friends (this is a recent addition, I would like to believe)
4. Chatting (only with ppl I know)
5. Blogging (both writing and reading)
6. Nature (it amazes me)
7. Eating (anything veg and spicy would do!)
8. Cinema (no, not movies, but give me a good cinematic regional film and i am up for it!)

Eight things I want to do before I die:

1. Go on a vacation (har har har)
2. Play golf!
3. Visit Germany (They have like the best brains there)
4. Own a Mercedes or a BMW or Audi (One of these German cars)
5. Direct a movie or a sitcom (bet you didnt see that coming)
6. Own a beach house (on some lonely beach in Maharashtra). Owning a private beach would be ultimate!
7. Visit Palakad, which lies on the Tamil Nadu - Kerala border (They have like the best girls there!). Now thts a fetish!
8. ________________________ (I ll keep this blank, I wud like to dedicate this one to my loved ones, whtever they want me to do before I die...)

Eight things I say often:

1. Fuk (Mech engg are officially allowed to use tht word.. btw, I dont use it in front of non enggs-they find it explicit!! weirdos!!)
2. What goes around comes back around...(this is the ultimate truth!! Justin timberlake couldnt be wrong!! :P)
3. Kya faltugiri hai re..
4. Chod na be...
5. Shit yaar...
6. Sawaal! Maaf (Part of SPCE lingo.. Go here to know more)
7. Saaleeeeee
8. Life mein bahut padhai kiya hai..ab maja karneka...

Eight books I have read recently:

I think I havent read 8 books in all!! Let us see..In anti-chronological order
1. Shantaram(reading currently)
2. Forrest Gump (Last book I read)
3. Blink
4. Five Point someone
5. Catch me if you can
6. The Godfather
7. Rich dad Poor dad
8. Around the world in 80 days

Eight songs I could listen to over and over:

This is not fair! 8 songs is too less!! Here goes my list!
1. Lose yourself, Cleaning up my closet, When I am gone, and other Eminem songs
2. I’ll getcha good, A Party for two!, Tht dont impress me much (Shania Twain)
3. Summer of 69, Cloud no.9, Room Service - by Bryan Adams.
4. I ll be there for you... Friends theme (this is not by choice)
5. You are beautiful, Wisemen, high by James Blunt
6.Californacation RHCP
7. Hotel California by Eagles
8.Where is the love, Lets get retarded, Dont funk with my heart by Black eyed peas

<-Tag ENDS here->

I would like to tag Pushkar, Sukhi, Sam, Abhijit, Raghav, Bullshee

Tagged - The power of 8!

Audi
Mercedes
Siemens
BMW
Blaupunkt

See the trend? All the above mentioned companies apart from being among the best in the business are also German...

I have always had this fascination about German Engineering, so much so that I wanted to do my Masters(yeah in engg!!) from Germany! But that was long ago, just around the time I had entered engineering.. After 4 yrs of hardcore(and theres absolutely nothing sexual about tht) engineering, I was damn to tired to get involved in Automobile Engineering in an alien country... But the point is, Germany always amazed me..
I mean, imagine, a country with a population of 8 crore, being the third strongest economy in the world..The number of Scientist this country has produced..The fact that someone from this country actually thought that they can win over the world if they wanted to!!.... But most importantly, the engineering brains that this country has are what finite element analysis is made up of!!

There is this joke about German enggs tht I am fond of..
The Russians send the first man in space in April '61...
JFK, the US president at time was really miffed at this. He called his chief engineer and asked him, - "How in the world did the Russians get their man in space before we did!"
To this the chief engg replied - "I am sorry sir, but their German engineers are better than ours!!"
Hahahaha... wait till I tell this to my boss...

Talking bout my boss, hes the Head of Tech transfer, so effectively hes the one who's responsible for the entire factory. Now he is one of the representatives of his country for me.. So when I talk about Germans, a lot of my observations will be based on him... Ofcourse there are other Germans who come here in really good suits and really bad English.. Sometimes when they don't know a word, I suspect they throw in the the German equivalent.. Every other of their sentences starts with "nicht" or some word sounds like that... The shrug accompanied by-"I dont know!" is native to all Germans ... And may I add, apart from the guys who are a part of management, the others have a terrible sense of fashion!! I mean, Paris is just a stones throw away ppl!!

*One of the things I have noticed bout these guys is that they are extremely polite.. And these guys are supposed to be gas-chamber-suffocating types!!
*They don't change jobs that often! The guy whom I am talking about has been working in the company from like ages!! He worked for Audi for a few years before moving to this company though...
*They are extremely patriotic .. They have a simple policy- everything German is quality! Everything German is good.. German cars, German electronics, German beer, German cellphones !! It took us a lot of cajoling to make them allow the usage of Indian spares in the factory...
*One more thing I admire about them is their dedication towards work.. So someone who works 36 hours a week(yeah! try believing that!!) back in Germany, does 48 hour weeks(Like the rest of us) here!
*Somehow quality inspection takes 3 hrs when our German boss does it.. Somehow 25 yrs of service for a transformer isn't good enough for him..
*Somehow he can run around the factory all day when there is a crisis(Hes 52!).. A bolt not fitting in? Crisis... Too much copper/iron dust on the shopfloor? Crisis..! Nut not tightened correctly?..You guessed it right! Crisis!!!

There are times when something gets messed up real bad and I look at him and he seems to say to himself - Why the f*** am I here!.... No, not angry, just despair..
Sometimes ..well, things don't get messed up and he seems to say to himself.. "Man! They did it, didn't they!"

There is this middle aged colleague whos really cool, and always positive, he has 10 years of work ex and we(the young ones) look up to him.Lets call him GS sir.
All the guys in my dept. have been to Germany..Sir has been there more than a couple of times..But he does not contribute much to the conversation, its only the new foreign-returns who do the talking... And most of them are starry eyed about the buildings, transport, the facilities, the engineering, the cars, the people... They talk about the places they have seen and the Mercedes and BMWs they travelled in... And how fast their trains are.. and how when a train is late by 3 mins its considered a breach of quality ...& How a crater on the road is a national crisis .. " All the young ones(like me) gather around them, listening to their stories and wondering why we cant have smooth roads and trains that are on time...
"Apne yahan sab chalta hai re",they say...Somehow "chalta hai" is our ideology. "We are like this only!!" Garib desh ki yehi problem hai...

Garib desh?

The young ones look at each other feeling bad, feeling helpless.. Garib desh?

Sir says nothing.. He just looks outside the window.. and keeps looking there...
Comeon say something...someone..anyone.. Comeon sir, say something to get our young, inexperienced spirits up!

"Aaayega", sir said....

"Aaayega... Apna bhi time aayega.. Abhi toh humne sirf shuruvat kiy hai....Kuch din theherjaao... Yeh Garib desh, ek din sab ko dikha dega...Apna bhi time aayega..."

Apna bhi time aayega.. Yeah..

The difference is - German Engineering!

Face lift!!
Yeah... My blogs got a face lift.. And I am the Plastic surgeon(sounds cool ) behind this fab work!
(Hilary duffs Pic below is just to make sure you read atleat some parts of this post :P)



The template I had a few days ago was one of a kind but I was bored with some much dark green (or bottle green as girls wud call it) in the background and wanted something white, Simi Grewalish white...

It took me about 40 manhours to design this template completely. The main structure is "inspired" from Finalsense.com's Auto template. But it seemed to impersonal...too unarshatish.. So, I had to come up with this!

So what do we have here?
I wanted the diary-feel so I have kept tht area intact. Actually I have tweaked it a lot! Top and bottom margins, padding, line height are some of the things you have to take into consideration. For a mech engg like me, who has trouble even with C and C++, Css stylesheet was gonna be difficult, real difficult.
With a lil help from Pushkar and Sameer and a lot of Trial testing, I have almost achieved wht I had set out to achieve. :)

The header could hav been better, I agree, but its not me, if its not shabby :P...

All these days I have really missed blogging(stop rejoiceing, I am back!). Revamping your blog takes a lotta time.
Point to be noted: I dont have a lotta Computer Engg as friends. I should do something bout that! It would have been less frustating(yeah thts the word) with a Comp sci guy by my side..

Now tht I have the template back in place, I ll be blogging more often *evil grin*

There is so much I wanna bore you guys with...I wanna talk bout how the xml collapsed and how coding sucks and stuff, but I guess I ll keep it for another day..I am too tired anyways..

Well for guys who wud wanna have this template follow this link.
I wudnt mind if someone wud like to make donation for the Arshat Chaudhary foundation for lazy engineers (Believe me, this is your chance to give back to the society) Know-thy-self Blogger Template

I got this mail yesterday....I m sure all you engineering guys must have read this one...
I am pasting it here for all my non-engineering friends...there are not many...I guess they were pissed off by my not spending time with them...Sorry guys! This post will confirm tht we are basically lazy and jobless people who coz of their own Time mismanagement have no time when it comes to spending time with their friends....

There has been a lot of fiddling around by me with the original mail...This has lead to the ruining of a perfectly sane email...



Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!



On being Late

"I overslept" (this is a Arshat Chaudhary special)
"Was caught up in the Traffic at SV Road"(Most Profs who have seen SV Road buy this excuse)
(classic) " Train was late" (Everybody who stays more than 10 kms from the college in Mumbai is allowed this excuse)



During Lecture

"Biscuit hai kya? Bhook lagi hai" (This is a SPCE mech special)
"Rahul ka assignment 3 tere paas hai??"
"Yeh double lecture hai kya?"
"Yeh kya sikha raha hai??!"

(classic)"Journal sheet hai??"


Lab
"Practicals hone wala hai?" (Again a SPCE special)
"Expt. 1 likha??"
"Attendance ho gaya??"

(classic)"Karna kya hai??"



Unit Test
"Yeh kab sikha ke kab hua??"
(classic)"Aaj kounsa test hai?"


late submission of assignments

"SOM ka last date extend hua thaa"
(classic)"I didnt know the last date"



VIVA (b4 exam)
"submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Dekh Boss !! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai......(ekdum emotional )"



VIVA (after exam)
"yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"
"achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"
"ye subject ka reference book kaunsa hai"
"Vidyalankar mein to alag hai"





VIVA (general)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala , then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"

(Classic) "Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"
When is Sardar Patel's bday? (This ques was actually asked in SPCE..Sardar Patel College of Engg.)




Submission
" Ye bhi chhapna hai kya??"
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

(classic)"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

(classic conversation)

A: Ye tune kya likha hai / teri handwriting aisi kyun hai?

B: Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal

maine Mahesh se likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.

Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nah samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de.


EXAM
"Jo (mujhe)aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"
"tere paas Daji ke notes hai??"
" nahi samjha to rat le "

(classic..... when someone is intensively doing his last revision) "Yeh nahi aayega !!!"

Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!