Showing posts with label song. Show all posts
Showing posts with label song. Show all posts

Biological clockitis

Biological clockitis is a dangerous condition which affects men around the age 25. It can strike anywhere between 22 years and 29 years.

The first case reported can be traced back to stone age. Stoneman Hakunuma, who was 18 and still unmarried, was suffering from severe biological clockitis. Most of his friends had married by 14(this is the stoneage we are talking about) and were proud fathers of 3 kids on an average. Everytime Hakunuma looked at their pretty daughters wearing frocks made of deer skin and earrings made of sea shells, he was struck by Biological clockitis.


I am struck by Biological clockitis. My biological clock is ticking, or so it seems. I see kids everywhere. In my colony, in malls, railway stations, everywhere.. There are times when I wonder where did they all come from all of a sudden.. I keep looking at cute girls in frilly pink frocks and pink hairbands.. Sometimes, rarely that is, I do manage to charm a few of them and get to pinch their cheeks or unruffle their hair, but thats about it.. Most of the times I just keep looking at them

You so want a kid, dont u?
Well, no ones looking, lets take this one..
freaks her out totally..



Symptoms
You look at cute kids even when you are with friends.. Even when they are discussing topics as interesting as Sehwag's receding hairline and its remedies, you cant stop looking at the cute 5 year old kid who just went past you.
You have this unexplainable urge to lift her up and plant a peck on her cheek.
You spend more time looking at cute kids than looking at the pretty one you are with.(Detrimental to your plans of actually having a kid, I tell you)


I dont wanna have a daughter. I want a son. Well before you spell male chauvinist pig, let me explain why..

You see, having a daughter is really tough. Things are alright till they are 12 and usually use adjectives like ewww and yuck for boys, things cant be better, trust me.
But then, they turn 13, yeah, this is one more reason the number 13 is dreaded the world over, hormones kick in and suddenly she starts finding boys interesting, she starts associating the words - cute, cool and butt with boys.

Butt... hmm.. tht reminds me, if internet is still the "in" thing in the year 2025, and if you are the guy whos presently dating my daughter(reading this post), whispering sweet nothings in my daughter's ears, well trust me, I ll kick your butt so hard, that you ll smell shoe leather for weeks..
(Hmm.. that should reduce his testosterone levels for now)

Okay! So let me get this straight - u like these cute girls with ponies and pink clips, but you dont want a daughter?
Correct.. I dont wanna have a daughter. I like these girls coz they are not my daughters. They are someone elses' daughter. I like someone elses' daughter, for example, well, lets say- You.. You are someone elses' daughter, and i like u..
Here he goes again..
Speaking of pink clips, why dont you get one? will look cute...

Causes
Increased estrogen levels.. Simple! I have increased estrogen levels and that is why I am suffering from Biological clockitis. Now dont you dare call me girlie, or call stoneman Hakunuma girlie for that matter. We are/were(since Hakunuma is no more) nice strong men with a phenomenal desire for Scarlett Johanson(yeah baby).



We have decent facial hair growth, though not as much as Suniel Shetty does. We drink directly out of the carton unless our mothers/sisters are present around, coz they dont "allow" us to.

Recommended Diet-
Looking at pictures of Arnold, Suniel Shetty and watching non-sensical movies like Jo bole so nihal is recommended.


Keep away from girls aged 3 to 7, infact use this oppurtunity to concentrate your energies on girls aged 21 to 23..
Dont charm a girl aged 3 to 7 to shake hands with you, never accept a peck on the cheek from pretty girls with pretty pink frocks, and under no circumstances, I repeat, under no circumstances, should you let them sit on your lap. If you do, you will reach the last stage of Biological clockitis and before you know it, you will be applying for Santa's post in Malls..

Treatment
Well, there is no treatment really. The only treatment is to get your own kid.. And that is a long procedure.. Though stealing is an option.. :P So I suggest you wait till your parents start seeing you as a potential grandchildren manufacturer and get you hitched.. or work on the recommended diet to lower your estrogen levels.


Let me try and influence you now- with sons, u get them to teach them swing bowling and kick-boxing. You get to discuss about world issues and Pamela anderson.. You get to play games on PS2 and beat them, you get to beat them at chess and beat them at cricket and monopoly, see? just talking bout it makes me feel better.. Darn, sounds more like I want a playmate than a son.. :P

Now, just to be fair, lets also look at the pros of having a daughter. They are pretty, provided they dont get my looks. They hug you when you come back from office, they tell you how much they missed you and stuff when you come back home from a long business trip. You can make sit on your lap and tell her stories bout princes, glass slippers and pumpkins. Also, its always okay to kiss a daughter, no matter what age she is, which is not so in case of a son, unless you are Italian, ofcourse.

Fathers want their boys to behave like men as soon as they stop pooping in their pants, but their daughters always remain their little girls - thats where the phrase "Daddy's little girl" comes from. Ever heard "Daddy's little boy"? Sounds supergay if you ask me.


The cons are too many.. I spent all my time and genes to help her become what she is, and then some guy comes along and takes her away.. I no longer get to run the show.. No longer am I her #1. Some guy who she met yesterday sweeps her off her feet and gets to keep her all her life. The father, has to live without her. I have seen fathers cry when their girls leave them, to spend the rest of her life with the man shes in love with, to lose her surname and to take up his. They say girls grow up fast. Thats so not true. Girls grow up only as fast as boys, its only that fathers dont want their daughters to grow up.. They always want them to be their small girls... I have seen fathers cry. I cant be them. I cant be them.

_____________________________________

This is lovely father-daughter song. Check it out here. Thanks to Purnima for this one.
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I love the whole world : The song rocks

She stood there on the bridge looking at the green ocean below.. He stood beside her, looking at her.. The cars wizzed past them.. Cement rails seperated the walkway from the busy freeway... Its weird that on the busy 6-lane bridge, they were all alone..The wind played with her hair, not letting them stay in place.. She tucked a strand behind her ear.. He wished he could do that for her...

"Why is the ocean green?", she asked innocently..
"Oh.. thats coz of green algae.. Algae is responsible for 70% of the world's total oxygen through photosynthesis.. ", he answered.. Too much reading does that to you...
"Kya re.. You are such an engineer..."
"Oh.. so you want the not-so-scientific answer.."
"Yeah.. "
"Hmm.. Well, the ocean is green with envy.."
"With Envy?", she asked, kinda surprised to hear that..
"Yeah.. It envies me.."
"You? Why? What have you got that he doesnt..?"
"I got you..", he smiled..
"Oh.. Thats so mushy.. ", she said trying to supress a blush..
"I ll never get girls! When I give her a scientific answer, she calls me nerdy.. When I give her a romantic answer, she calls me a softie! Girls I tell you!"
"Its so beautiful na.. the ocean..I like the ocean.. and the mountains.."
"You know what I like?"
"What?"
"You!"
"That line never gets old!"
"Wants you to break into a song, doesnt it?"
"Really?"
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
To be sung on The Discovery channel: I love the world theme..
The Pink lines are to be sung by the girl (If you have a girl around that is!) The blue ones are to be sung by the guy!! (
obviously!..)








hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
I love the ocean..
I love the mountains..
I love the birds that fly..
I love the fountains..
I love the whole world,
its such a perfect place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love when you look at me..
I love the deep blue sea..
This is where memories rest..
My thoughts be undressed..
I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love the beach sand..
I love when you hold my hand...
I wish we could live here...
Your wish.. My command..
I love the whole world,
its such a perfect place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love the setting sun..
I wish it could wait a while..
I love the winters..
I love your dimpled smile..
I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


Whenever we can...We gonna sing this song..
I am astonished, how did we work this on!
Arent we getting late.. now that the sun has set..
Its just six twenty.. I m so sure I can bet..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


"That was great!"
"Care to do it again?"
"Really?"


hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. I love the whole world : The song rocksSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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Dhadkan Dhadkan ya saason me…

I have no cable at my home…This is coz my sis will be giving med CET this year and there is some unwritten rule in my house tht whenever some important exam approaches,the cablewallah will be denied his birthright of playing those 1980s movs(tht too scratched cds)

So, nowadays,its just me and the radio…

I am not much of a hindi song lover,but this song is just going on and in my head

Woh Ajnabee… [mov-TRAIN]

woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh Woh Ajnabee
Figure it out

[Aisa koi mujhko mil gaya hai sathiya
Jise dekhkar bhooli sari duniya]2

[Woh Ajnabee 2
Jo dekhe door se
A dekhu mein usko hi o usko hi
Abb sab kuch bhool ke ]2

A Dhadkan dhadkan ya saason mein
Raatein raatein ya khwaabon mein
Sapne sapne wohi to hai
Yeh bata dun mein use

Shaame shaame ya subhoh mein
Shaamil shaamil woh har pal mein
Har dum har dum woh baatoon mein
Mere rahi hai kahin

woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh Woh Ajnabee

[Abb aisa usse jud gaya hai silsila
Wohi woh nazar aaye mujhko har jagah]2

A aaa zindagi hai Roshan hui
Hai uske noor se
Dil ko sacchi kushi Hasil hui
Hai uske Ishq Se

Mujhko abb har ghadi o har ghadi
Uska hi surroor hai
Dekhe woh usko hi haan usko hi
Aankhe majboor hai

A Dhadkan dhadkan ya saason mein
Raatein raatein ya khwaabon mein
Sapne sapne wohi to hai
Yeh bata dun mein use

Shaame shaame ya subhoh mein
Shaamil shaamil woh har pal mein
Har dum har dum woh baatoon mein
Mere rahi hai kahin

woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh Woh Ajnabee

[Usko paaye paya mene sara jahan
Rab usko na karna naa kabhi bhi juda]2

o ooo abb bandagi shaamil hui
Hai mere jist mein
Dil ko sacchi kushi Hasil hui
Hai uske Ishq Se

Mujhko abb har ghadi o har ghadi
Uska hi surroor hai
Dekhe woh usko hi haan usko hi
Aankhe majboor hai

A Dhadkan dhadkan ya saason mein
Raatein raatein ya khwaabon mein
Sapne sapne wohi to hai
Yeh bata dun mein use

Shaame shaame ya subhoh mein
Shaamil shaamil woh har pal mein
Har dum har dum woh baatoon mein
Mere rahi hai kahin

woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh Woh Ajnabee
woh Ajnabee 5
woh woh ajnabee

Download the song HERE

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