The shy girl in my class...

I still remember the day I first saw her. Its kinda amazing if you ask me. Its amazing coz its been 15 years since the first day that I saw her and I still remeber it like it was yesterday.

She was the perfect shy girl. The kind who hides behind her mother when guests come over... It was the first day of the first grade. I remember kids crying all around me. Some clung to their mothers, some threw tantrums. If I didnt know better, I would say they were going to whip us and make us work. But they didnt, actually compared to what I am doing now, those days were fun. Actually, compared to any days those days were fun.

She walked past me with her eyes fixed to the ground. Her bag was pink and so was her complexion. I love innocence. I guess all men do. I think we value it so much coz of our utter incapability to be innocent ourselves.

She went inside the classroom and took the first bench. I took the second. Right behind her. Then the teacher came and asked me to move to the last bench. I hate being tall. Apparently I was blocking the view of the blackboard for the guys sitting behind me. So I got up and took the last bench. And that was the end of that.

I strictly believe our choices dont change overtime. We like the same kind of people all our lives. If you dont agree, ask yourself who was your best friend in school and whos your best friend now(if both are the same guy, there are fewer people luckier than you), then try to analyse their qualities- you ll find that a lot of those qualities match.

I liked the same girl all my school life. People wonder when I tell them that I couldnt talk to her for almost all of primary school, except for the one time when we had an exam and I forgot a pencil. She was sitting three benches in front of me (the closest we had been till then). I got up from my seat and asked her for a pencil. She looked at me for around 4 seconds. Then quietly took out a pencil and gave it to me-
"This pencil writes very fast,"she said.
Then I didnt know why she said that. But years later she told me that she had seen my mother scold me for not being able to complete the paper on time.

Now dont translate this into love. She didnt love me then. Maybe she liked me. But not more than that. I think till girls dont reach puberty, the only people they can love is their parents. I, I loved her. Men can love at any age. Infact men can love anyone at any age, maybe they are more individualistic or stuff.

As we grew up, her liking for me increased. Or maybe it was just my imagination. But I found her glancing at me. She now tells me that she used to glance at me coz I used to keep staring at her! It would be impolite for her not to even glance. We men are idiots, we give it away.

As she grew, so did her curves. I would be lying if I said while looking at her my eyes or my mind didnt go astray. Puberty is such a gift. It suddenly gives losers like me, enough courage to say something that we have been wanting to say since like 7-8 years or something...

We were in the 8th grade I guess. I asked her to wait after school. Apparently I had some important stuff about Annual day that I had to discuss with her.

After school as I walked down the steps with her, I thought to myself - I can walk these steps all my life with her.

I held her hand, softly at first. She stopped but she didnt pull her hand away. Her eyes were fixed on the stairs. I thought of all the things I could say. You practise saying things in front of the mirror and stuff, but it just doesnt work. I thought of all the cool things I could say and then came up with this -
"I wish these stairs would never end."

Really! I came up with that. I was so proud of myself. She looked at me, then held my hand firmly. I took that as a yes.

Years later she told me that that line was the lamest excuse to hold her hand. I pity all those guys whom I have suggested this line. No wonder all my male friends are single.

After our board exams, we made sure we gave the same entrance exams. Both of us wanted to get into engineering. She got better scores than me(like always) and chose Electronics in a top notch college. I managed to get in Computers in the third best college in the area. She cancelled her admission, much against the wishes of her parents to be with me. She gave up electronics and took up computers for me. Remember I told you a girl loves only after a certain age? I knew that she loved me then.

We gave the CAT last year. She again got a better score and made it in MDI HR in the first round. I was lucky to get in in the last round in the same class. But I got in. Thank God for that.

Today, sometimes, when we go to mess together for lunch, she walks beside me...her eyes fixed to the ground... I whisper something in her ear and she smiles.

Even today when I look at her, I sometimes still see the same innocent girl I had met on the first day of school. Here we are now- we attended the same school for 12 years, then went to the same engineering college in the same class and now are in the same class in MDI. God had a script written for us, didnt he? I love the fact that there is someone who knows me more than I know myself. I hope someday I get to know her, better than she knows me.

I find it amazing... shes the same girl who once offered me a fast pencil so that I could finish my paper on time and not get a scolding from my mother... and here she is walking next to me to the mess of our MBA college. We walk up the stairs to the first floor mess and I say -
"I wish these stairs would never end."
And she bursts out laughing.



P.S. Dedicated to Ek and Sak(names abbreviated to protect identity) of MDI who have been in the same class since the first grade, all through their engineering and now MBA. Someone wrote a script for you guys!

Btw, they are not my classmates. I am in IM(International management). This is more of their story than mine, hence the dedication...

The shy girl in my class...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

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All I wanted to say about the CAT...

[Note: Long post]
[Note: Serious post]
[Recommended reading for CAT takers]


I was thinking about the events and happenings that lead to me getting an admit from MDI, Gurgaon. Was it tough? How much of hard work did I have to put in?
There are gonna be thousands of guys who will take the CAT(rated as among the most difficult exams on the planet) this year too. A few will score a super percentile. But a super-percentile, as I learnt later, doesnt guarantee you a seat in a college.

I will give a blow-by-blow account of how things worked and didnt work for me. In the process, I hope to inspire some of you (I know, tall order) and console the others.

So this is how it started-
I was disillusioned by the way engineering studies are counducted in our country. I had a quater-life crisis back then. I had secured a job with Siemens but I didnt know if I wanted to work. To be honest, I wanted to stay at home, watch movies, play cricket, do every damn thing that I wasnt able to do coz of my 4 years of engineering. Now engineering in Mumbai is a lot different from other parts of the country. Its real bad if u have to waste 4 hours of your day in travelling only to reach college to find the class being cancelled. It becomes even worse when you have been a straight A's student all your life and have to work your ass off to maintain high grades in engineering.

I played with the thought of joining siemens, then decided on not to only to change it on the night before the induction day. I am glad that I took that decesion. Its among the best decesions that I took.
After working for 9 months, getting up early everyday, spending a lot of time doing electrical shit(I am a mechie), I got bored and quit the job. Again, among the best decesions of my life.

I left the job around May. The next months till January, when the CAT results came, were among the best days of my life. I did almost everything I wanted- played cricket like crazy, slept like crazy, saw every sitcom I could get my hands on, in short, enjoyed life! One of my really close friends felt that it was among the most eventful year of my life. I agree mate!

May-June-July were mostly fun. One fine day it struck me - what do I do next? Maybe a part-time job - the kind that doesnt reqire me to get up early. How about a course in Film direction? I have always wanted to do that... If not now, then when? I am 22, when will I get the time in the future? If I have to, it has to be now, and it has to be from the best institute in the country.

I applied for FTII's direction course (Gods like Ashutosh Gowariker, Sanjay Leela Bhansali are the products of this college). At the same time I got a call for part-time teaching at Career Forum teaching CAT. While I was teaching, I gave the exam for FTII and got selected in the top 40. After the interview, I made it to the top 10 in the country, but that wasnt good enough. They took in the top 6 and that was the end of that.

Around August, I became serious about CAT. FTII was behind me, I didnt have a full-time job, I didnt have a plan B. That is when I pulled up my socks and started giving mock tests of every god damn coaching classes.

I gave the JMET, CAT, SNAP, MICAT(for MICA)... The colleges I had filled up were-
1. MDI, Gurgaon
2. IMT, Ghaziabad
3. SIBM, Pune
4. SCMHRD, Pune
5. MICA, Ahmedabad
6. SIIB, Pune
7. Welingkar, Mumbai

In that order of importance...

The first results that came in were in Jan were JMET. I logged on - You have not Qualified for the next round. Bad start. One out. But I wasnt too sad. Jmet is for the IITS and though I like IITs, I wouldnt wanna spend two years of my life there.

The next results were the biggie - CAT. I was extremely cool about the results. I remember, I checked it around 4 in the afternoon. My friends were making franctic calls to each other, trying to find out each others scores. I was as cool as can be. I wasnt expecting much. And I also figured out that me getting excited isnt going to change the results. I logged on - 98.37%ile with a expected poor performance in DI.

Then came the SNAP results. I had a God-score of 101 in SNAP. I had virtually converted all Symbiosis institutes or so I thought.

As expected, I got calls from all institutes I had applied to.

I was sure to convert SIIB and SIBM, but was sckeptical about SCMHRD because of their vague selection criteria.

First, the SIIB results came out. "You have been waitlisted - WL123"
There hasnt been a time when I have felt worse. A college like SIIB doesnt pick me up? I aint good enough for SIIB? Its 6th on my list yaar! If I cant get into this how can I get into the top ones?

Next result - SCMHRD - "We are sorry to inform you that you havent been selected for the program at SCMHRD". Okay. This one I can understand. HRD looks for work experience or whatever no one know. They rather flip a coin :P

Next- SIBM- now this one I was surely gonna convert. Its by far the best GD and Interview I have had ever! I was so damn confident about this one. I had already started dreaming of this place and how I will buy a bike and travel from Pune to Mumbai on weekends. I logged on - "We are sorry to inform...." I didnt read the next line. They didnt take me in- is all I could tell myself. They rejected me. The feeling of selfworthlessness cant be described in words.

3 of the 7 colleges I had applied to had rejected me. I had a God-score! What happened? How bad am I? What mistake do I make? Havent I prepared well? I am sure I have! I have given 8 hours per day reading shit like who is India's X minister and who heads Y committe.

MICAT- is the additional exam that you give for MICA. MICAT is supposed to check how creative you are. Now this is my turf. I gave the exam. Waited patiently for the results.
The results came in - "You are not selected for..." I kept looking at the screen.
4 out of the 7 colleges had rejected me. Dude? I got selected in God-damn FTII!! Thats the most creative exam on the whole continent! I get selected in FTII but ant creative enough for Mica?!

Now the only colleges left were MDI, IMT and Welingkar. The chances were bleak for mdi and imt since they are among the top instis in the country. If I cant make to normal colleges, how can I make it to the top ones? I will take a Welingkar. I am sure I will get it. But I have a 98.37 for pete's sake! Welingkar at that kinda score?

I used to find guys who cant even write basic English writing posts on Pagalguy saying - I have get admission to XYZ college. Aaj raat parti hogi. Chers!
I made sure that I swore atleast once at the college in question.

Then came the IMT results. I had a so-so GD and an average Interview. I wasnt expecting a convert, but atleast I got into the waitlist. "Game on," I said to myself. Maybe, just maybe, I might get in.

The most important results came in next. MDI- Waitlisted. Expected. Had an horrible interview. Now, when I think about it, I realise that I was depressed by the kinda results I had got. Here I was running out of colleges I can apply to and still havent got a convert.

Slowly and steadily my friends were getting converts. Everyone had orkut taglines changed to -Joining XXX.. 22 days to go.. some stuff like that.. Colleges are starting in 22 days? I still dont have an convert.

I started applying for jobs. But recession had kicked in and no one was willing to give me any jobs. BPOs loved to stay away from you if you were an engineer, which I was.

I was caught up. Tense. But like my friends tell me now, that I masked it pretty well. Infact even if you go back and read my posts dated around that time, they were still funny.

So here I was, 20 days remaining for colleges to start, with no job, no college. I felt like I had taken the worst decesion by leaving Siemens. Life can only be understood in hindsight.

I kept checking the waitlist movement at IMT. Somehow I had a feeling that I might just make it in this B school.

I remember that afternoon- I logged in on to the IMT site. I put in my id and password. The screen went blank for a moment. Then a new page appeared on screen -
"Congratulations...You have been selected for..."

I read the fifteen letter word again and again. Congratulations. When was the last time I read that? I didnt do what they do in the movies. No pumping my fists in the air. No shouting, No yelling. I just sat on the chair... letting it sink in... and then let myself sink in the chair... Then got up from the chair. Made a tight fist, and ever so slowly said - Yes.

The time I had spent studying, giving mock-cats, learning about minister X and committe Y, all of a sudden, I felt, had paid dividends. A feeling of gratitude took me over. I dont remember how many times must I had thanked the computer that day.

In the last week, I got a call from MDI too. And I took that up. But I still love IMT. In the way you love your girlfriend you had when you were 15.

Now when I look back, I feel everything fell in place. But I still wonder, the Intellectual capital that comes to MDI and IMT is way better than the colleges that rejected me. I dont get it, if the country's elite b-schools can accept me, then what are the traits that these other bschools look at? And its obvious that they are doing something wrong, else they would be higher up the rankings.

Also, I dont think CAT is a good way to judge students. Now, for eg, had I made one mistake in the paper, I wouldnt be in IMT or MDI. At the same time, had I made one mistake less, I would have been in the IIMs. The point being - CAT is definitely not the only parameter that a college should look at. But it should be remembered that CAT is the most transparent way of selecting students. The lesser of the evils.

Note: The whole point of this post has been to let you know that as an aspirant, you might lose hope and heart sometime - DONT!
Dust off the Dust..
.. Just Kick Butt!

All I wanted to say about the CAT...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

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20 letters to the editor  

End of Term 0!



So I am back. Not that I wasnt here already. Its just that I was living the zombie life. We had our end-terms which ended yesterday.
So, the last few days were really weird, studying till 5 in the morning with friends, drinking loads of tea with bhujiya (thanks JD), downloading ppts, cribbing, cursing our luck and the people who came up with the idea of MBA altogether.

Anyway, we are now done with our exams, and the foreign batch is here. We decided to throw a double party - one to welcome them, the other to celebrate end of our exams. We had a party the next the day too. I have no idea of the reason for the party, but who needs a reason?

The week before the exam was so damn hectic that I was forced to ask myself - Where is the pause button on this damn thing?

After the last exam we were sitting at nescafe in MDI, wondering what to do with our free time. It happens when you are not used to having free time.

This is an excerpt of our convo -
Me: Kal kya activity hai?
Rahul: I think kal kuch nahi hai.
JD: Kuch bhi.. there has to be something.
Rahul: No, I think its like...er.. like... a holiday.
me: Really? Can anyone confirm that.
Akshay: Yeah. We have the next two days free.
me: two days?
Akshay: 48 hours man. This has to be the defining moment of our lives.

So I got really pumped up and came with a to-do list-

Things to do in the next 48 hours-
1. Clean the desktop. I dont know why there are so many icons on my desktop.
2. Cut your nails. As in my nails.
3. Read the newspapers. I have been stacking the newspapers since the last 20 days. There is a lot to read.
4. Watch a bit of TV
5. Clean the room.(I have started to sound like my mom now!)
6. Yeah, sleep for 10 hours(atleast)
7. Read blogs. Its been ages since you have commented on peoples blogs. People hate you now.
8. Watch the movies and the sitcoms you have been downloading since the last one month.
7. Teach the foreigners hindi.

Okay, I know my hindi isnt anything to write home about(write in hindi ofcourse). But it is anyday better than them.

Btw, the other day, we had this football match against the normal management batch(I make them sound so low-profile.. he he he). Now since we had europeans in our team, we kicked butt.
For all you desh-bhakts, dont worry, the HR batch beat us in the next game. But seriously, how did HR beat us, I mean, isnt that batch supposed to be full of girls?

I did an analysis and realised that it was because of lack of co-ordination(ah! Genius!)
But seriously, its because of the language problem. For eg -

When Vikram says - Abbe le, ball le..
Nicholas thinks - Lays? I will have salted.

It has come as a surprise, but subconciously we use a lot of hindi words while talking to the firangs - like- aacha, hai na, nahi, chalo etc etc. And not that we dont know english, there are people here who have a 99% in Verbal but still make the same mistake while talking!

So thats all about the two days of timepass that we did. Want to write more but am short on time. How much can one do in 48 hours anyway? Anyway, its raining out here. And I gotta rush to enjoy it. Unlike Mumbai, rain here, stays for around 148 seconds and then makes the next appearance in 5 days. Off to get wet. Au revoir!


End of Term 0!SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

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12 letters to the editor  

Sweat on the dance floor...

My laptop watch shows me a time of 4:33. In the morning. I have decided to call 4:33 morning, since the birds think its morning. They start making all these chirping sounds after 4. Its a pity that I have to base my inferences on birds, but then thats how life is...

Firstly, I apologize to everyone whom I had promised that I will be online on the time(you know who you are). I has grossly miscalculated the stress of this course that I have undertaken here at MDI. I use the word 'undertaken' in the same vein as 'undertaker'. Because its killing me, but I want to 'undetake' it before it undertakes me. Dude, its 4 in the morning, you wont get better quotes than these.

Anyway, to demonstrate the point that we are damn busy, let me drive home a few pointers. Know how MBA students whine about how less time they have and stuff (sissies). Well digest this - These guys have 14 lectures per week(IIMs included). The course that we have, makes us face 27 lectures per week! Thats double of what all other courses in India attend. And they still dont have time! Just imagine what must we be going through! You cant imagine stuff till you actually do stuff - Here I will take you through with the kinda choices I have to make nowadays -

1. Should I cut my nails or read that article the Prof asked to read?
2. Should I go to the cooler to drink water or should I research for that Presentation due tomorrow?
3. Do I study for tomorrow's quiz or do I beat Shantanu's ass at TT(Shantanu, if you are reading this, its my blog and I can write whatever I want, I can make myself look good. Come to think of it, that is the only reason I started writing a blog. Wanna tell your side of the story, get your own blog.)
4. Should I take a bath or write a blogpost?

So whenever you see a post updated here, you know...

I am sure you have got my point. So coming to the other nitty gritties of the program. Its an International Management course. Now this is truly International and one of a kind in the country. In this course we study at MDI for a year and then go to Berlin/Paris for an year. No prizes for guessing that I will be going to Berlin this March. The only other country I would like to be in after India is Germany. I have always had this strange liking for Germany and its people.

Btw, forgot to tell you, since mine is an International course, there are a few firangs who will be joining the class. We have been assigned buddies. Infact I met my buddy today. A German guy. Damn cool. Not as cool as me though. Not his mistake, no ones as cool as me. I dont understand why you are still reading the post. Anyway, I was saying hes pretty cool and knows a lot about India and Indian history. We are waiting for the rest of the foreign batch to come in. Especially the French and German girls. The guys back home must be hating me right now. Saalon, thoda CAT padh lete, you could have been here. And I would be back home. Still sleeping for 10 hours a day. Its because of dumbasses like you that guys like me have to abandon a near perfect life and come to a place where sleeping for 5 hours is a luxury.

Coming back to the to the topic (if there was any), the question remains, why dont I bunk lectures. After all I am no Rahul Bhat! My previous records will show that I have not attended more than 30% lectures in any semester. So why this sudden transformation??
I will tell you why! The Profs here are damn Good (with a capital G). There is this guy who teaches IAS guys some stuff, then there is this Public policy guy has worked with a nobel laureate, then this guy who was appointed by the president of India to head a company... I can go on and on... The way of teaching is excellent. Student particiapation is encouraged. Never ever have I found the Prof not being able to answer my question.. The bottom line being, they are super cool. Also our classroom is eye-candy. I almost love it as much I love my terrace hostel room. The guys here are real nice. Intially it took me a lot of time to make friends, it usually does take time for me, but here it was more than usual, maybe the cultural difference or stuff. But anyway, I am great friends with most of them now, and inspite of the militant schedule we try to have fun.

Fun se yaad aya, we had a party today. It was a thanksgiving party. We thanked our seniors for all they had done for us, and what better way than to host a party for them. It was quite a party. After so many days I had coke today. The soft drink, I mean. Hehehe. Please laugh, its late and thats the best I could come up with. My only problem was with the DJ. So many of mainu-tainu punjabi songs yaar. He must have played Kala Chasma (dont give the importance to the video) around 6 times. I mean, its a good song, but 6 times! And the problem is, had he played it for the 7th times the guys would have still danced crazy! The dance btw has to be bhangra. That is the only dance form allowed. But its pretty easy this bhangra thingy. You should have you hands raised with your index finger pointing towards the sky. Thats it! By the end of the night, even our German classmate had learnt to dance bhangra-istyle.

There are a few French students on the campus too, you should see them dance man! I mean, sometimes even I dont understand what the punjabi song means, but look at these guys yaar, they keep gyrating at anything. Its like me dancing to French tunes!

Anyway, the point being Indians rock, and so do the Europeans, not as much as we do, but we are teaching them, and they should get there before they leave.

One last thing before I wind up, I have to get up early tomorrow, I have a lecture. I know tommorow is a Sunday. But aint got no holiday. Infact, I havent had a holiday since the last 15 days. So why dont I go sleep? Well, I thought I had already enjoyed so much in a night, why not jot it down while it is all fresh.

Anyway, the sky is turning blue as I write this. The posts in the future will be shorter and crisper and more frequent(hopefully) in the future.

Till then guys, take care and have fun.
Sweat on the dance floor...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

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3 Delhi guys and a Washing machine

Its been 2 full weeks in Gurgaon now. I have found this place very different compared to aamchi mumbai. Like-
Half of the batch is from saddi Delhi. Every fourth guy's surname is Gupta. Reebok is a bigger brand than nike. Amul makes 50% of its sales in this part of the country!

I have also noted a behavioural difference in the Delhi guys here(kya MBA ki tarah baat kar raha hoon na!). They are kinda dependent on their parents. And parents dont really mind it. Need a tie, call the dad, he will send a tie in his car. Need washing powder, call your mom, she sends it in her car. I sometimes envy the kinda life these guys live. In Mumbai, most kids dont live such a protective life. Though Mumbai makes us independent, it in some ways reduces the length of one's childhood. Anyway, enough gyan. The point is that this is a timepass blog and things which make us think are not allowed here.


So back to the topic- Here at MDI we have washing machines at every floor of the hostel. I wash my clothes every Sunday in the washing machine. (However, I take a bath everyday!)

This is something that I overheard near the washing machine... This is how the story goes -

http://happyhomemaker88.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/washing-machine.jpg
There were 3 Delhi guys trying to wash their clothes in the washing machine. They surrounded the machine like surgeons surround a patient on an operating table. If three delhi guys are friends, one of them has to be a sardarji... else they call it a foul!

So these guys, 2 guys and a sardarji, had surrounded the washing machine with washing powder and bucket full of clothes, wondering how to start the thing. The dialogue is given below. I have kept it in hindi to maintain the fun quotient of the whole thing.

The funny thing here is that, all of these guys had washing machines at their homes but had never operated it!! I mean how lazy can you get? My brother Aroop is the laziest guy I know and even he knows how to operate the washing machine! (Taking digs at your cousin through your blog : Priceless!)


Delhi guy 1: Oye yeh chalti kaise hai?

Delhi guy 2: Arre yaar.. Mumma ko fone karke poochna padega...

Delhi guy 3: (with supreme confidence) Arre bahut aasan cheez hai bey yeh.. load na le..

DG1: aacha? Kya karna hota hai?

DG3: Bas machine khol ke kapde ghused do!

DG2: (Pointing to the knobs on the washing machine) Abbey yeh knobs ka kya karen? Kaunsa ghumana hota hai?

DG3: Abbe woh nahi patah. Mumma ko sirf kapde ghusedte hue dekha tha..

DG1: Abbe wohi toh important hai!

Chal mumma ko call karta hoon...

Hello mumma? Yeh washing machine kaise chalate hain? Aacha? Knob ghuma doon? Light load? Delicate? Haan haan.. Yahan likha hai! Thik hai.. Thik.. Thik.. Okay.. OOokay..

(With a sigh of relief and a proud smile on his face) Chalo bhai, kaam ho gaya. Yeh knob ghumana hai.

Lo, ghuma diya..

Abbe chalu kyun nahi ho rahi?

Yeh doosra knob bhi toh hai?

Yeh toh temperature hai... Pani garam karta hai...

Garam pani? Kyun?

Patah nahi yaar.. Kapde aache saaf hote honge.

Chalo garam kardo bilkul.. 70 pe chala do..

Yaar ab bhi chalu nahi ho rahi..

Phir se call lagaon?

Hello mumma? Chalo nahi ho rahi hai? Haan? kiya. Haan? Woh bhi kiya. Nahi chalu ho rahi hai.. Accha phuphi(Aunt) ko conference mein le le?(Seems like Phuphiji was more tech savvy than mom) Hello phuphiji? Washing machine nahi chalu ho rahi... Haan.. Haan.. Mumma ek second, phuphi ko bol lene do na.. Haan kiya.. phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.. Accha thik hai dekh leta hoon...

Kya hua? Kuch patah chala?

Nahi yaar. Sab kuch toh theek kiya hai. Phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.

Oye teri koi girlfriend hai? Usko call karke pooch liyo yaar...

Abbe? Washing machine chalane ke liye girlfriend ko call karun? Thik hai karta hoon.. Marwaoge tum log..
Hello sweetie, ki haal chal? Haan bas thik hai.. haan bas chal raha hai.. yahan ki bandiyan(girls) utne aachi nahi hai yaar.. arre nahi karunga flirt.. haan.. promise.. arre woh sab chod, mujhe bata tujhe washing machine chalane aati hai? Arre yaar engineer toh hoon, lekin washing machine kabhi chalayi nahi na.. Mazak mat kar yaar, batana, aati hai? haan.. haan.. okay.. okay.. thik hai.. chal try karke dekhta hoon... haan haan.. me too...me too.. friends hai yaar paas mein... haan yaar, flirt nahi karunga.. bye.

Kya boli?

Arre wohi jo teri phuphi boli..

Toh saale itni der kya baat kar raha tha?

Abbe ab tere kapdon ke chakkar mein kudi se bhi baat na karun?

Arre gussa na ho yaar, mazak kar raha tha...

Yahan pe machine chal nahi rahi hai aur tum log pagalpanti kar rahe ho yaar..

Arre aise kaise nahi chalegi.. Kuch toh gadbad hai..

Oye, yeh button kis liye hai? Daba ke dekhun?

Haan haan.. dabade

Sambhaliyo..

Oye teri.. yeh toh batti jal gayi...

Abbe yaar.. yeh toh start button tha.. gadhe pehle nahi daba sakta tha...

Abbe phuphi ne yeh nahi bataya tujhe, ki start bhi karni hoti hai?

Teri girlfriend ne nahi bataya tujhe? Wahan toh - me too.. me too.. chal raha tha..

Abbe kyun jhagad rahe ho yaar! Shuru ho gayi na machine. Bas.

Haan yaar.. shuru toh ho gayi.. Dekh kaise ghum rahi hai!

Haan yaar... badhiya saaf ho jaayenge kapde...

chalo ab kuch parathe-sharathe khatein hain..


They returned back after an hour to see that the machine was still on. They came back after one and a half and the machine was still working. I dunno what setting had they set the machine on, but it kept working for 6 hours! Last heard, they were calling the women of the house to ask how to turn off the Washing machine!!


3 Delhi guys and a Washing machineSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

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36 letters to the editor  

MDI, Gurgaon : Military training

Hello ji!
So you might have noticed the temperature has gone down in Mumbai. If you are wondering why is that, well, thats coz I have now left Mumbai. I am now in Gurgaon (which explains the heat wave here). Btw, for Mumbaikars who think everything to the north of Mumbai is UP-Bihar, well, Gurgaon is near Delhi.
So last week was my induction week at MDI, gurgaon. More on that later, but first, let me make fun of Delhi guys. Like for instance, they even talk English with a Punjabi accent- Thank you becomes Thank you ji, Sorry becomes Sorryji and Hello becomes Hello ji! Hence the change in my way of greeting you guys.
I have begun soaking the Delhi atmosphere in me. Like I have developed a special liking for Gobi ka paratha. Did you know Gobi ka paratha constitutes 2 % of Delhi's GDP? And you should see how much butter they eat here. Its almost like butter is the main dish, parathe toh galti se plate mein aa gaye.
Now back to the induction week. I will not discuss the details of the induction week else the coming batches wont enjoy it that much. The past week has been, er.. like a military camp, only worse.. guys usually sleep around 2-3 hours everynight. In order to give you a rough idea about things, let me ask you - Have you seen that Nana Patekar movie - Prahar, where he plays a commando? Dekhi hai? accha hai.. accha hai..
Know how he tortures the interns? Well, that is cakewalk in front of what we do! I say, if we continue doing this for 3 more weeks, I will be well prepared to take down the Al-quaeda or whtever is the most dangerous terrorist organisation in the world.

Coming to less dangerous stuff, I got my room, as in, at the hostel. The IDPL hostel that I am at are beautiful. There are two hostels, the on campus and the idpl cma, which is around 5 kms from the MDI campus. The idpl cma hostels are bunglows each having 7 rooms each. I have a lovely single room, with an attached bathroom and the door of my room opens directly on to the terrace. That however isnt necessarily a good thing. Its super hot here (you know why) and my room heats up like a furnace sometimes. I hope the heat reduces in days to come.
Anyway, coming to the sweeter aspects of my hostel, we have monkeys here(dunno why that is sweet). No no, I dont mean the students, I mean ReaL monkeys, with tails and red asses and stuff... And we have peacocks here! You can get real close to them, trust me mate, there are fewer sights prettier than watching a peacock up close.
I am in love with the MDI campus btw. Its 40 acres of pure bliss. Manicured lawns, pretty red buildings, the works, you know. Sometimes I wish I was a campus too and I would woo MDI and she would fall in love with me and then we would give birth to 4-5 small small campuses... Ah.. such a beautiful thought... Okay, this got out of hand here.

Anyway, moving to the topic why my desperate engineering friends are here. Girls.
This is what my friends had to tell me about Delhi girls before I departed for MDI.
Male Friend 1: Abbe wahan ladkiyaan sahi hoti hai yaar...
Male Friend 2: Haan be.. all gori-gori..
Me: Tumlogko ke khandan mein koi Dahisar ke aage nahi gaya, delhi ki ladkiyon ke bare mein tumlogon ko kaise malum saalon?
Male Friend 1: Abbe mera roomie hai na, uske best friend ke friend ki girl friend Delhi ki hai..
Male friend 2: Arre haan.. sahi hai woh..
Male friend 1: (to MF2) tereko kaise malum bey, tu kab mila usse?
Male Friend 2: nahi mila, lekin tere bolne se lagta hai sahi hogi..

This is what my female friends had to say about them.
Female friend 1: Delhi jaa raha hai unke Ladkiyon se bach ke rehna.
Female friend 2: Haan. Keep away from them haan.
Me: Dont worry ladies, I will come back untouched and then you can have me.
Punches thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, talking about the Delhi girls (the guys are waiting with bated breath). Well, they are good looking. No two ways about it. Everytime I look at them, I wonder - Where does all that butter go?! Another point noted is that they are quite free, they are in essence no different than Delhi boys, only they are better looking.
We had a freshers party the night before, I dont drink and also wasnt well, so I went to sleep around 11. There is a bus that takes us from MDI to IDPL, it was scheduled to leave around 3 in the morning, so I went to sleep in a friend's room. By 3 I came down to the party scene, the party was still alive. The DJ was real good, the only problem being he would play songs with the words - "soniye" "tainu" "mainu", you know, the usual panju stuff...
As I entered the dance floor, I saw all this girls dancing in 6 inch heels or whatever they call them. I swear to God, if I tried, I wont be able to walk in them, and these girls were dancing! We have quite a few firangs on the campus and there was this girl with blonde hair who seemed to be suffering from an overdose of Bollywood and movies like Singh is king. She had all the steps in place. I have never felt more sorry for my inability to dance.
I wanted to have a look at how a professional bar looks like so I came up to the bar where there was this huge haryanvi bartender who was drinking himself than serving others. I came to the bar and started looking around, reading the contents written on the bottle.

Haryanvi bartender : Nahi nahi.. tujhe nahi peeni.. tu abhi aaya hai(he must have guessed looking at my relatively sweatless face) tu pehle dance ker ke aa phir milegi..
Me: Lekin..
HB: Oyeee.. bhains nahi karni... chal ja..
What the? Who was this guy? But I didnt want the drink, and I was kinda sleepy so dancing was out of question. But I had a gulp of pepsi, since I didnt want to come out saying tht I didnt "drink".
One thing that I notice about Delhi girls is that how much they are ease with their sexuality. Sometimes, to someguy from outside this place, these girls might come across as bold. Though I find them extremely cute and colourful, I will always fall for the subtle sexuality of a Bombay girl. The balance that she achieves, coupling class and style, will always be the draw for me.
So the good news is, all you Bombay girls who have been secretly falling in love with me, hiding behind trees to get a glimpse of me, watching mere mortals like Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig on Dvd since I am gone, have heart, I will be back!

That is enough for now I guess, I am at the end of my break now. I have a French class in around 20 minutes. So Au Revoir(abhi tak itna hi seekha hai) my friends. Keep checking this space, will be posting frequently from now on. MDI, Gurgaon : Military trainingSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

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17 letters to the editor  

Why does it rain?

Short story.

They lay on the terrace floor, watching the skies darken with rain-laden dark clouds. The Sun had been on a vacation since the last few days, the clouds had taken over.

"Why does it rain?" She asked, looking at the dark brown evening sky, which was darkening by the minute.
"You see, the south-west monsoon winds bring in water vapour from the Arabian Sea, it condenses.."
"You are such an engineer re," she cut him in between.

The thing with girls is, that they expect us to know when to be scientific and when to be romantic. He kept quiet, thinking what to say. The soft din of the vehicles on the road below filled up the silence. The problem with living in the city is, you never get to experience complete silence.

"He loves her," he says out of the blue.
"huh?"
"You asked me why it rains, didnt you? It rains coz he loves her."
"He?"

"The cloud. He loves the earth."
"Oh. But then, where was he till now? I mean, why didnt it rain in the summer?" she asks innocently.
"He was always there. He was here since the earth was here. In fact, the earth was made because of him. The earth gave us life, but the cloud gave her life. And for that, she loves him. At the end of monsoon he leaves her for the cycle of life to continue, that is why you dont find him here in the winter and the summer."
"Ah.. I see."

The wind starts blowing, starts playing with her hair. She tries to fight the wind, unsuccessfully.

"When the cloud comes to meet the earth, he roars with happiness. Hence the lightening. And when he reaches her, he showers her with love. Hence the rain."
"Hmm. I get it."

She keeps looking at the darkening clouds, which have now started roaring. Then she looks at him, into his eyes and says -
"You know what I love?"
"What?" He asks with a hoarse voice, a voice which is expectant.
She smiles mischievously.
"I love the smell of soil when it rains."

He relaxes again, knowing he is not going to hear his name in any sentence related to love yet.
"I love it too," he says. "But I love something else too," he says looking at her.

She avoids his gaze, tries to fill up the awkward silence with words...fails miserably.

"Why does he have to leave her?" She asks.
"Told you na, it's the cycle of life. That time spent without each other, strengthen their love for each other."
"I don't know. I don't want them to separate."She almost starts to cry.
"You would want rain all through the year?"
She remains quiet.
"Do you realise you will never be able to smell the first rains again? There might never be a first rain in the first place."

She keeps staring at the dark clouds which fill up the whole sky. The lightening flashes every now and then, illuminating her face, making her look prettier than she already is.

"Do you have to go then?" She asks in a voice that tells you shes having a tough time holding herself together.
"I am afraid I have to. I will be back before you know it."
"I will be waiting."

She places her head on his chest. He has the world. Her tears cant be held back. The skies crack up.
It starts to rain.



PS- I will be leaving Mumbai in 4 days to pursue my MBA.
It is pouring outside, as I write this.
Please listen to this song, as you read the post. It gives you a heady feeling. Why does it rain?SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Editor in chief Arshat Chaudhary

Current Issues: , , ,
33 letters to the editor  

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