Showing posts with label Viral tags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Viral tags. Show all posts

Diaper Rash cream song

This is a guest post by my daughter. I first thought what would she know, but then she knows some mean shortcuts. That day she pressed 3 random keys and the display on the laptop got inverted by 180 degrees. She also has shortcuts to delete a file permanently and change the layout of a ppt. So I assumed this super sharp baby should be allowed to share her thoughts with other babies. So here goes -

Hi,

I just turned 9 months old. I was under the impression that I was 18 months old, someone then told me I am not allowed to count the time I spent in my mom's tummy. That sucks. This advice would have sounded sagely coming from a much older baby.

I recommend you hear the original here.


Newborns of 2015,

Wear Diaper Rash cream.

If I could Offer you one tip for the future.... Diaper Rash cream would be IT. The long term benefits of  Diaper Rash cream  have been proved by mothers. Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own soft bottom. 

I will dispense this advice now 

Refuse to eat whatever is being presented to you.  Eat from Daddy's plate instead. Don't let him eat. remember you are growing up, he's just growing old.

Point at crows, pigeons, stray dogs and make noises like you are challenging them to a fight. When the dog starts walking towards you, get very scared and hide in Daddy's arms. 

Repeat.

Lick mom's cheek whenever she lets her guard down.  

Pick dirty from every nick and corner of the furniture and taste it.

There will be a very small window between changing diapers. Make sure you do potty/susu right then. It requires the concentration of a sage and the stomach muscles of a samurai. Practice will make perfect. 

Dont worry if you miss it by a few seconds, you will get them next time.

Cry.

Wipe runny nose on daddy's shirt when he's not looking. Don't sleep when it is sleepy time. Cry if someone tries to get you to sleep.

Get exercise. This is the only time in your lives when exercise is someone massaging you with oil.

Do.not.let.them.touch.your.head.It's.sacred.

Maybe you crawl, maybe you wont. Maybe you lay there comfortable, maybe you get scared by a balloon. Whatever you do, dont forget you cry you get fed.

Fart.

Play with Daddy's phone. Play with Mommy's phone.

Press random keys while they are working on the laptop. 10 years from now, they wont remember the worksheets you accidentally deleted.

Compel adults to learn to understand your language. Make an effort to understand theirs.

Drool.

Touch everything you arent supposed to. Throw caution to the winds. 

Wake up 3 times a night. 

Put your finger inside daddy's nostril. 

But trust me on the Diaper Rash Cream.






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What the heck happened here?

I am sure all you guys must be thinking - why the hell did I change over from a well established PR3 blog at wordpress to blogger???!

The answer is tht the people who run Wordpress are bloody idiots! My blog was suspended coz I posted Viral tags on my site. The name may sound dangerous but its actually a simple experiment tht has enabled to increase their ranking overnight.

Curiosity killed the cat.

I wanted to know how in the world will copying and pasting a certain code on your site lead to an increase in PR(pagerank)?


The next day my blog was suspended from WordPress. Yep, just like tht!! No warning no nothing.
Maybe their fascinating Terms of Service empowered them to do so. I offered to remove all the stuff on the blog tht they might want removed...But those ppl cited their TOS. One thing you suckers at WP shud know - if you name your TOS as fascinating, ppl are not gonna take it seriously. Infact point no 14 (or was it 12) in the TOS asks the readers in a mocking way if they are still reading the TOS...


This is what happens when you have a bunch of nerds trying to be supercool. Thts why WP will never be as big as blogger. As I have noticed in the last few days, Blogger gives you more freedom. I was not allowed to add javascript in WP. Here I am encouraged to do so. Ican edit the template of my blog here, tht was never allowed there. There are a bunch of other facilities tht are better here.


But even after a sour divorce and calling each other names,I cant help remembering the good times WP and I had. WP's best feature(if there ever was one) was its dashboard. Also WP was good looking. WP was more like a model while blogger is more like a businesswoman.
I guess I got into first impressions too much.


It goes out to all you guys and girls who decide if they like him/her purely on the basis of appearance.



Think again.
If TV ever taught us anything..This shud be it.


For the suckers at WP



Buzz off. What the heck happened here?SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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