The TimePass of India

I remember that sunny afternoon. He was in the 9th grade, reading his Science-II State board textbook. For the younger ones who are reading this post, we didnt have Physics, Chemistry and Biology separate those days. 'Those days', this sure sounds old! Ich liebe Berlin...

Short story.

They lay on the terrace floor, watching the skies darken with rain-laden dark clouds. The Sun had been on a vacation since the last few days, the clouds had taken over.

"Why does it rain?" She asked, looking at the dark brown evening sky, which was darkening by the minute.
"You see, the south-west monsoon winds bring in water vapour from the Arabian Sea, it condenses.."
"You are such an engineer re," she cut him in between.

The thing with girls is, that they expect us to know when to be scientific and when to be romantic. He kept quiet, thinking what to say. The soft din of the vehicles on the road below filled up the silence. The problem with living in the city is, you never get to experience complete silence.

"He loves her," he says out of the blue.
"huh?"
"You asked me why it rains, didnt you? It rains coz he loves her."
"He?"

"The cloud. He loves the earth."
"Oh. But then, where was he till now? I mean, why didnt it rain in the summer?" she asks innocently.
"He was always there. He was here since the earth was here. In fact, the earth was made because of him. The earth gave us life, but the cloud gave her life. And for that, she loves him. At the end of monsoon he leaves her for the cycle of life to continue, that is why you dont find him here in the winter and the summer."
"Ah.. I see."

The wind starts blowing, starts playing with her hair. She tries to fight the wind, unsuccessfully.

"When the cloud comes to meet the earth, he roars with happiness. Hence the lightening. And when he reaches her, he showers her with love. Hence the rain."
"Hmm. I get it."

She keeps looking at the darkening clouds, which have now started roaring. Then she looks at him, into his eyes and says -
"You know what I love?"
"What?" He asks with a hoarse voice, a voice which is expectant.
She smiles mischievously.
"I love the smell of soil when it rains."

He relaxes again, knowing he is not going to hear his name in any sentence related to love yet.
"I love it too," he says. "But I love something else too," he says looking at her.

She avoids his gaze, tries to fill up the awkward silence with words...fails miserably.

"Why does he have to leave her?" She asks.
"Told you na, it's the cycle of life. That time spent without each other, strengthen their love for each other."
"I don't know. I don't want them to separate."She almost starts to cry.
"You would want rain all through the year?"
She remains quiet.
"Do you realise you will never be able to smell the first rains again? There might never be a first rain in the first place."

She keeps staring at the dark clouds which fill up the whole sky. The lightening flashes every now and then, illuminating her face, making her look prettier than she already is.

"Do you have to go then?" She asks in a voice that tells you shes having a tough time holding herself together.
"I am afraid I have to. I will be back before you know it."
"I will be waiting."

She places her head on his chest. He has the world. Her tears cant be held back. The skies crack up.
It starts to rain.



PS- I will be leaving Mumbai in 4 days to pursue my MBA.
It is pouring outside, as I write this.
Please listen to this song, as you read the post. It gives you a heady feeling. Why does it rain?

[Prologue: This post might be disturbing]

I woke up startled! "Physics is freaking awesome!" I said to myself.
Was it a dream?
I had slept on my physics text book. The page 152 of the book was wet from my drool. It was a lazy afternoon and I must have dozed off while studying. My back was sore. I guess I slept in an unnatural position. The human body wasnt made to sleep on a study table with your Physics text book as your pillow.

But IIT entrance exams make you subject your body to a lot of inhumane stuff - like sleeping at 1 in the night and getting up at 6 in the morning, solving whole calculus problems in your sleep, skipping lunch and sometimes dinner to stay awake... Last night I slept for 3 hours instead of the usual 5 hours. My IIT-JEE(mains) exams were round the corner. I had it all planned. Engineering from one of the IITs, then MBA from one of the IIMs, then job at an American investment bank, Mercedes at 28, BMW at 33, a terrace flat downtown at 35. Its funny how well we plan our life. I had everything planned for the next 20 years when I didnt know what was going to happen in the next 20 minutes!

It was mid-May. It was around 7 in the evening. I looked out of the window. It was golden brown outside. It was lovely! There were dark clouds in the sky and the May Sun beat down on them to create nature's own soft light bulb.

I looked at my drool drenched Physics text book. It wasnt fair. I was just 18. These are the greenest years of my life... and I was spending them reading books and learning formulae. This is so damn unfair. I have to get away from all this. I got up, took my bike keys and opened the door and slammed it shut.

I put in the key and started the bike. I realised I had forgotten to take the helmet with me. Damn it, I thought. I was going on a short ride, I dont need a helmet. I raised the accelerator, to kick the bike out of inertia

Page 109:
Inertia: Inertia is the resistance offered by a body when subjected to a change in its state of rest or of uniform motion.

Too much Physics does that to you. You start finding Physics in every damn thing.

It started to rain. Sparse but large golden droplets started to fall from the gold of the sky. It was like gold melting and falling down onto earth in small gold droplets.

I took the highway. I increased my speed. My hair were getting wet. The smell of wet soil was in the air. The water droplets hit my face, hurting it. Suddenly, I felt alive.

I see a truck trying to take a U turn, I apply the brake gently. A film of water formed on the tar road reduces the friction.

Page: 123
Friction: Friction is a force that resists the relative motion between two surfaces in contact.

I press the brake completely, but the bike wont stop. It skids on the wet frictionless road. I lose my balance. I fall on the wet tar road, the bike drags me along with it. It wont stop. It wont stop. Still no panic. The bike pulls me with it along the tar road, bringing me precariously close to the tyre of the truck.

The truck driver must have applied the brakes, but the momentum(mass x velocity) of the 50,000 kilogram truck kept it going.

Page: 146
Momentum: A measure of the motion of a body equal to the product of its mass and velocity.


It went going and going...till it came close to my head, till I could see the threads on the tyre, till I could smell the cow dung on the huge rubber tyre, and then...

Crunchhh...

What the ?? What happened to Newton's Third law of motion?!

Page 152
Newton's Third law of motion: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction!

If the truck exerted 50,000g (where g=9.8m/sec sq.) of force (Action), my head should exert that much force back (Reaction)! But that didnt happen now, did it? Newton was an idiot.. The third law of Newton sucks.. Just then it strikes me! Newtonian laws are applicable to perfectly rigid bodies. My skull isnt perfectly rigid... not even close! My brain lied splattered on the wet tar road. Broken pieces of skull stick to the tyre.

I thought to myself- Physics is freaking awesome!

[Note:It rained in Mumbai today] Physics is freaking awesome!

The problem with female friends is that they are like a feet or two shorter than you, but still manage to bully you to do something you dont want to. Anjana gave me this award. As you know I am pop-puh-lur, and get a lot of awards. I had received a similar award from bullshee. But the nice guy that I am(when it comes to girls), I will take this up again.



Now this award is called Honest Scrap. When I first read it, I read honest Crap. So anyway, I am gonna try to come out with 10 truths about myself. Btw, for all those guys who look up to me (all 3 of you) and would like to know more truths about me, go to this page .

So here goes.

1. I love walking. On 26th July, when half of Mumbai was under water, I walked from Kurla station(what a lovely place!) to Mulund East. Thats around 20km for you. I have also walked from Vikhroli station to Airoli, more on that when I get my next award.

2. My favourite team in IPL is Kolkatta Knight Riders. I am now among the 8 fans of KKR. (Note that fans doesnot include team members, coach, owner etc.)

3. A few years ago, I didnt believe in sun signs. I mean, how can there be only 12 kinds of people in the world?!!
But the females in my life (includes mom, sis, neighbour, maasi, granny etc.) were bent upon changing my perception.
Today, I do agree that certain traits of certain Sun signs are similar. Anjana is a old friend, and a fellow cancerian. I realised that she thinks a lot like me. Same is true for Kunal too. Kunal is my friend from engg. Aanchal, is my blog friend, her writings always touch a chord with me. I was going through her blog the other day, and had this sudden urge to go to her orkut profile to check her birth date- turns out she's a Cancerian !
[Note to all my Engg mates: Dont go around sending friend requests to these sweet girls on orkut. Despo kahin ke! You can send friend requests to Kunal if you like though. :P]

4. A Brand new truth - For the past week months I have been making a list of the Sun Signs of my favourite people. (I am jobless, I have time.)
Now I had a feeling that I like taureans a lot apart from Cancerians of course. But we have to keep cancerians out of this list coz I am a cancerian and its easy to like people who are like you. Plus we all know crabs are too awesome to compete with the rest of the signs(What have I turned into!)
So, the point being, I knew I liked taureans, but I still needed one small push to establish that fact.
I checked Hrishitaa Bhatt's birthday - Taurean she is.

5. Bad novels, books, etc inspire me.
Like after reading Tushar Raheja's Anything for you ma'am, I felt I can write a novel.
Like after watching Delhi 6, I felt I can make a movie..
But thankfully I am not making a movie(yet), so you can relax. I cant promise the same about writing a novel though!

6. I take a lot of time to shop for stuff. Before you wonder about my estrogen levels, well, they are just fine, or nil, whatever is the norm. What I meant was, I spend a lot of time finding that perfect value for money before I swipe my card(I have a card.. how cool am I!). For instance I have been planning to buy a laptop for quite some time now, I spend 1 hr everyday looking for laptops. I try to compare them for value. Btw, if any of you readers own a laptop, kindly guide me through your comments. I intend to buy a dell, but I am open to hp, lenovo, vaio etc.

8. My favourite brand is Reebok. I think its value for money. (All I have to do now is collect my commission from Reebok. What's their contact number now?)
Btw, I own a pair of red Reebok shoes! Yeah! red!!
[Note :I am not gujju]

9. As you guys know, I never brag (hehehe) but I have an amazing memory when it comes to songs. I remember too many songs, especially from the 80s and 90s era. I also remember jingles, ads etc.... Its unhealthy I tell you. But useful nevertheless, especially if you have a girl whose face lights up every time you sing these songs..

10. I never cried to school. For me school was always fun. I used to wonder why other kids cry. Men dont cry! I guess I always had a healthy flow of testosterone through my veins. That reminds me, I have to shave now.

Phew... too much honesty for the day. From now on the posts are gonna be completely dishonest.

While we are still honest, try finding truth #7 above. More truths about me!

Its the season of awards.. I have been awarded this new one by one of my favourite bloggers - Bullshee. Now two of my favourite people in the blogworld- Bullshee and Chriz have awarded me. (Note: If you wanna be my favourite ppl, pls award me. It can be any lame award. I dont mind till its an award.)

Obviously, there are rules to every award. For eg. - you dont cry when you receive a national award for your movie, but you are allowed to, infact it is expected of you to cry when you receive a Filmfare.. Anyway, here goes..

How to do this:

a. Put the image on your blog
b. List 10 truths about yourself
c. Give the award to 5 other people
d. Provide meaningful quotation

Tilt your necks.. It says what it says.. Fucking Fabulous Blog.. Gee..My blog is fabulous..

Now before you guys start going chee chee and start thinking of me as someone who goes on rampantly using the F word, well let me tell you that I am very very well-mannered. I dont use the F word. My mechanical engineering mates can now stop laughing. I meant I dont use the word when I am around girls (eg: my mom and my sister). Anyway, now that I have got my award, let me list in 10 truths about myself...

1. I am ALWAYS right.. Yeah.. That is the..er..the truth.. Or atleast I think its the truth. Hmm.. truth is such a confusing word.. Umm.. let us stick to objectifiable truths... so here goes the REAL list..



1. I was a first bencher in my Junior college days (Thats 11th and 12th for you Delhi guys). I topped the class for like 8 exams in a row. I was a geek. So all you guys who look up to me(all 3 of you) for my Stud-liness, well I was pretty ordinary not too long ago!

2. My inspiration for blogging was Gaurav Sabnis. To be honest, I didnt think I would last more than 3 weeks in the blog world. It has been over two years now! Read his old posts, they were fun. The new ones are, well, boring..

3. I have never been able to dedicate myself to working out. I have started and given up a couple of times. I sometimes look at my Hrithik Roshan like well rounded arms and Akshay Kumar like flat abs and wonder if I really need to work out!

4. I have a very very rare taste in women. Only my sister has been able to decode what I like in women. She can look at a girl on TV and tell if I like her. It is difficult coz very few girls catch my fancy.. I got a wide range! - Hrishita Bhat, Alyssa Milano, Dona Ganguly, Nafisa Ali, Revathy, Sonali Bendre, Sonam Kapoor..

5. I only travel Business class. There are some perks you have when your dad works for a Airline co.

6. I wanted to be a doctor till my 11th grade. Then I was introduced to biology(the subject) and gave up the dream for good. I am glad I took this decision, engineering is not that bad... Only regret is that I cant have a "B.E." in front of my name like doctors have a "Dr.". Also I dont get to say something like - "I am sorry.. Humne poori koshish ki, lekin usse nahi bacha paaye". Not to mention that girls dig hot doctors, engineers are too common, aur kyun na ho, today every Tom, Dick and Patil wants to be an engineer.

7. I have a weird memory. All data involving dates, time etc is automatically corrupted as soon as it enters my brain(that explains why I didnt call u on your bday, you know who you are). On the other hand, I remember lyrics of songs from hindi movies from 90s.. For eg- The Prabhu Deva starer - Humse hai Muquabla. I can sing Urvashi Urvashi at 4 o clock in the morning. Infact I was threatened with dire consequences by my society secretary after I did that once...

8. I share my birthday with Sunil Gavaskar and have also met him. I met him at London Airport, back then I didnt know we shared birthdays!
And I taught him to play the pull stroke... er.. okay, thts a lie...

9. I smoked my first cigarette when I was in my last year of engineering... I wanted to find out what the fuss was about. I smoked a couple cigarettes to be doubly sure before I decided that it sucks, literally. I tried beer once, and I think it tastes like horse piss.. (Do I see Bullshee bashing me up?). I like the taste of vodka, essentially coz it got no taste. But even vodka is a waste of money. The first time I had around 180ml of it, nothing happened.. I ended up solving RAC problems all night long and topped the test the next day in college. I think I was a geek even in Engg college. Dunno exactly when I transformed into such a stud.. Hmm..

10. Dad-son, Grandfather-grandson movies make me all misty.. Yeah, only misty.. Coz I dont cry.. Men dont cry.. They hunt duck, eat raw meat, drink from the carton but they dont cry.
My all time favourite Dad-son, Grandfather-grandson movies are Life is Beautiful and Wide Awake..


I am done for the day.. Too much honesty there.. I assure you hereon I will only come up with interesting dishonest stuff.. This honesty is too much to handle I tell ya!

Heres giving the award to 5 of my people who I think deserve the award.

Santoshwho I know he will come up with something exciting
Chriz - the nuttiest blogger in town
Nupur has no pretense
Harish who has taken a liking to writing
Anjana - the newest entrant


Now for the (meaningful) quote
The more cheese is there.. The more holes are there...
The more holes are there.. The less cheese is there..
Hence, the more cheese is there.. The less cheese is there.. ;)


Speaking of awards, I have been nominated for the best Mumbai blogger .. Hum aapka vote maangne aaye hain!
If you think this blogger deserves to be in the list please vote. How to vote?
1.Register yourself first (I know, such a pain).
2. Log in here!
3. Vote for your favourite blog here (er..that is my blog I hope!)

The one who votes the most for me gets..well.. er.. a chance to meet me!! that too in private!(yeah baby!)

Take care people! The awards just keep on coming...

Short story

She joined school after the first midterm in the 8th grade.. Public schools are pretty strict when it comes to joining school on time. Her dad must a big shot, Rahul thought..

She was cute, petite, had short shoulder length hair.. She was confident, very sure of herself...

The class teacher introduced her as Kritika Rajan.. Kritika gave a friendly smile..

Rahul noticed her cute dimples.. Now Rahul wasnt a dimples guy.. never was.. But he couldnt stop staring at her as she smiled. Rahul was the tallest guy in the class, so he always took the last bench, Kritika took the third bench. Good for him, coz he could steal a glance or two everytime she smiled and those dimples flashed..

She had asked Rahul for his Geometry notes.. Apparently, Rahul's teachers had high regard for the guy, they had suggested Kritika to get his notes to cover up for all the portion she had missed the last semester.. Rahul was obviously too happy to help...
She came fuming to Rahul the next day...
"I dont get your handwriting.."
"Arre, samjha woh likh.. baki drawing nikal! hehawhaw"
"Shut up.."
Clearly, it was not the right time..
"Okay, what didnt u get?"
"This word - 'cle' Whats tht?"
"cle- cle means 'circle'!!Thats called Rahul shorthand!!" Rahul shrugged..
"Ooookay.. whats 'rle'?"
"Rectangle!"
"Oh.. and 'tle' is er.. triangle?"
"Way to go girl.."
"Oh.. hmm.. hey, can u please wait after school to help me understand more of your shorthand? Please! Pretty please!"
Now how could anyone say no to that!!

That evening, among congruent and similar triangles, she opened up to him.. She talked bout her favourite movies, the sitcoms she watched, how much she loved Tv and why..

Rahul never met her father, but was pretty sure she was her father's daughter.. She was honest, strong willed, tough..
Her dad was a high court judge, and now was on the special bench for political cases. He must be an honest guy.. They dont transfer someone at a post that high that often.. Kritika later told him that she had changed 5 schools in the last 7 years. She had stayed in Nagpur, Aurangabad, Solapur, Pune and now mumbai.. she hadnt spent more than 2 years at any one place. She had very few friends, most of them in Pune, where her dad was last placed.



There was this place behind the school building.. It was like a very small playground, with a single swing, a slide, an incredibly small see-saw and a cement bench, for the teacher to sit and govern the pre-primary kids... He had seen the kids play there in the small sandy place. It seemed big when he saw them kids play there, but now that Rahul was sitting there waiting for her, the place seemed too small.. kinda cosy..

She came, she wore a pink sweater.. weird are these ppl who come from Pune.. After the freezing cold of Pune, they still find the need to wear sweaters in Mumbai! But then, Rahul didnt mind, she looked hot in that pink sweater..

"You have cute dimples.."
"What?"
"Your dimples.. they are cute.."
Its weird how a girl who is that tough around others melts when shes around someone she likes..
"No they are not..", she tried to look away, trying to suppress a blush..
"Yes they are.."
"Noooo", the more she tried not to, the more she blushed..
"Yes they are.."
"No, they arent.."
"Yes they are"

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...


Back in school they behaved like total strangers.. Ofcourse there was a glance here and a wink there.. but they made sure not to come within 1 metre of each other.. The fact that no one knew about them made it more thrilling!

They started meeting every evening behind the school after school..
She always wore that pink sweater, now, even more coz she knew Rahul liked it on her..
"You got nice hair.. and pretty eyes.."
Its weird how naive these 8th grade boys are! No creativity they got I tell you..
"Nooo.. No one has told me that before.."
"Well, I am telling you now.."
"No, they arent that pretty.."
"Yes they are.."
"No"
"Yes"

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...


December days get kinda chilly, even in Mumbai.. That day it was a bit chilly.. Even Rahul wore a sweater to school that day.. he normally thought he was too cool to wear one! He looked at Kritika who was sitting on the third bench.. she looked lovely as ever..

He kept looking at her throughout the Geometry and Science class.. Restlessness grew within him as last lecture of the day was approaching.. He wanted to be alone with her.. Talk bout stuff.. bout what he loved.. his fears.. his dreams...

The bell rang.. After everyone had left the school, he went to the playground at the back of the building..
She was sitting there.. The golden sun rays of the evening sun were falling on her face.. her dark hair looked golden brown in the sunlight.. It was very cold, she was wearing her pink sweater.. He could stand there looking at her all his life..

She looked at him.. Something wasnt right.. or so it seemed..
He sat beside her..

"Whats wrong.."
"My dad’s getting transferred.."
"Again?"
"Yep..This is my last week in the school.. My dad will be transferred to Nagpur"

She was taking it amazingly well..

"What? But it has been only three months!"
"Oh.. I know"
"You wont miss me?"
"No, why?."

This was weird.. didn’t she feel anything for him..

"Not even a little?"
"Umm.. a little.. maybe.."
He saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes..

"You liar.. You not going anywhere, are you.."
"I sooo got you there..haha"
"Stop laughing meano.."
"Nahi re, my dad is getting transferred.. But I am staying with my Grandmom.. "
"I m not even talking to you.."
"Aaww, I am so sorry re.. sorry sorry sorry.. "

She must have said sorry bout 9 times.. And there must be guys reading this thinking that it doesn’t make things better.. but trust me, it does..

Rahul’s heart melted..

Its not fair.. Men were made taller and stronger.. Men fight, eat with their hands, drink from the carton.. What was bout these girls that made men all soft inside.. damn..

"Not fair..You cant do it to me.. I like you"

It was the first time he said that to her. Both of them knew it, but it was the first time he said it to her..

"I like you too.. more than you like me.. "
"No, I like you more.."
"No, I like you more.. "
"Nope, I do.."

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...

She smiled, Rahul’s heart melted. He had won the argument.. But something he lost.. And he was not sure what..

She held his arm close to her and placed her head gently on his shoulders…

Last time I saw them, they were just 14 year olds, with dreams in their eyes.. and maybe.. one day... they got married...., and had kids and yes..., like all good stories go.. They lived happily ever after...


________________________________________________________
I am a sucker for happy endings.. Something didnt seem right in the last story. So I changed the ending..Happy New Year Guys..:)
The Judge's daughter

The problem with having friends who work for software companies is that very few of them are actually placed in Mumbai.. I have close friends - one of whom is placed in pune, and this girl whos currently residing in Delhi.. Lets call them Harry and sweety, not to conceal their identity or anything, but just for fun..

So they arent jobless free souls like me.. they are pretty much 9 to 5 guys.. when my sunday evenings are spent playing cricket in the field, it comes as a surprise to me that these guys chat their hearts out on the net.. In other words they do the pretty same things on a Sunday evening what they do the rest of the days. To be honest thats what I do too during weekdays, but atleast there they are getting paid for it..

So this particular Sunday, I was winning the game for my team singlehandedly(some guys think I am Sehwag, with a really bad wig.. whtever!)


So after hitting around a dozen and a half boundaries, I checked my cell for any congratulatory messages..

There were two, but they werent congratulatory..They were what is see as FRANTIC
One was by Harry - Abbe kahan hai? You are needed here..
Second was by sweety - Kahan ho aap? Online aao na.. (Note that she uses the Delhi lingo- aap and all. If in Mumbai you call someone aap, they start laughing at your faces)

I wondered what important work these guys got with me.. I hurriedly completed my triple century (what? the boundaries were short!) and rushed into my abode.. logged in.. I sent a conference request to them.

Sweety has joined Harry has joined
Arshat(thts me btw): here..
Sweety: finally
Harry: all 3 here..
Arshat: oye? kya hua? something serious?
Harry: abbe nahi.. timepass..
Arshat: wht the? Man.. I thought u were getting married..
Harry: who me?
Sweety: main?
Arshat: yeah.. both of you..
Harry: hehehe.. or worse, to each other!
Arshat: I think you guys will make a lovely pair! ;)
Sweety: his mom wud kill me..
Arshat: harry? ur mom does that to women you marry?
Harry: oh not now.. she has improved by miles..
Arshat: see sweety? she doesnt kill them now.. I think you shud give this a try..
Sweety: nahi re.. she has plans for her future daughter-in-law.. n i dnt fit in thm..
Arshat: why? his mom feels you arent sexy enough? as in for him.. (Raunchy is my usp)
Harry: lol..
Sweety: God! you guys!
Harry: hahahaha.. seriously funny.. I just imagined my mom say tht!- "sweety isnt sexy enuf fr u!" hehehe..
Sweety: I thout u were scared of your mother...
Harry: And what gave u tht idea?
Sweety: Parent teacher meetings..
Harry: oh that! That was 10 years ago.. Baccha abhi bada ho gaya hai..
Arshat: And he aint talkin metaphorically..
Harry: Infact I had a forced convo with my parents a few yrs ago, thy said i cud marry whomever i like..
Arshat: Good.. but harry, tht sumhow has nevr been our problem.. the one whom we like never likes us back!- thts the problem..
Sweety: hehehhe.. kuch bhi..
Arshat: aur bolo.. hows life?
Sweety: Harry is having fun.. n will start working on a new project..
Harry: And sweetys college is on as usual..
Arshat: You guys knw so much bout each other.. and u say u dont wanna get married :P
Harry: Btw, hows sally?
(Sally btw, is the 4th pillar of this..er.. table? She stays in Mumbai. Harry, sally, sweety and me are frds frm school..)
Arshat: Shes good..
Sweety: Phd huh?
Arshat: Yeah.. good college too..
Harry: Sahi re..
Arshat: But I aint calling her a doctor before she gives me a treat..
Harry: I am lousy friend aint I? (Trust him to come up with the silliest question, with no reference whatsoever)
Arshat: You bet.. the worst I got.. (Trust me to come up with the silliest answer)
Sweety: chup re arshat.. nahi u r a good frd harry.. y do u say dat?
Arshat: yeah..whts got into u?
Harry: No.. I mean, i dont call, scrap or mail you guys..
Arshat: Oh.. cant comment on that.. I m a bigger defaulter there ..
Harry: Nahi re, I have so many calls free.. and messages free..
Arshat: u do?
Harry: even STD is free..
Arshat: stop bragging popat, this aint helping your status as a lousy frd :P
Harry: I dont know whats going on in sallys life.. Its been ages since I called her..
Arshat: hmm.. but your credibility isnt dependent on callin her alone.. as in, u always ask bout her when u call me, and she always asks bout u when she calls me..
Sweety: yeah, frdshp is nt all bout callin scrappin and emailing, its bout comfort..
Arshat: hmm.. we hav stuck ard for the last 10 yrs right?..and I dont think we have done tht bad.., I just want you guys to know, phone calls or no phone calls, mails or no mails, we will remain friends forever... I soooo miss u guys.. Do I sound like a girl..?
Harry: yes u do..
Sweety: yeah..like tht girl..
Arshat: wht girl?
Harry: She knows bout her mate...
Arshat: u told her? kya yaar..!!#$%
Harry: she forced it outta me!
Arshat: yeah.. right..
Sweety: ya ya.. i m very forceful :P
Arshat: oh dear..
Sweety: toh bolo bolo.. give me all the details?
Harry: look at her go.. she wants all the gossip doesnt she!
Arshat: arre thr is nuthing to say...
Sweety: u like her..
Arshat: her who?
Sweety: her.. HER! u like her..
Arshat: this is so 7th gradeish...guys, i m going home..
Harry: hey even i need to go, office tomo..
Sweety: yeah me too, coll early morn..
Harry: hmm bye then..
Sweety: byeee...
Arshat: bye.. take care.. have fun..:)

The problem with good friends is that no matter how far we stay away from each other, we are somehow very close.. sometimes too close for comfort
But yeah, its fun, the only time it is not fun is when the joke's on me.. which is most of the times
But seriously, you guys have been great.. And I risk sounding like a girl here, but I soooo miss u guys..
Take care u guys, and remember - I am just a frantic message away Of friends, Conference chat and sounding like a girl..

I have been a little busy over the last few days.. not that you miss me not blogging or anything, but just felt you would like to know.. Did I hear you asking why am I busy? (Well, dont answer, I am on the other side of the screen and I cant hear you.. bwahaha..er.. sorry)

So, I got my tooth cavity filled.. I have been blessed with a good set of teeth, I have never had any problems so never had to visit a dentist ever.. Most of my friends have spent a small fortune at the dentist after spending half a fortune on Cadbury.. I have had these guys telling me their experiences at the dentist, so I thought now that I have an experience why not share it..

Yeah yeah.. I know.. Getting your cavity filled is nothing to blog about, but if you have been playing attention, my last post was about a speaking dog.. So now that I have set really low stds for myself, I can blog about any crap that comes to my mind.. So here goes..

The place was huge and really clean.. I sat at the reception along with the other er.."patients"

"Mr. Chaudhary? You are in next..", said the receptionist.
I love being called Mr.Chaudhary.. Its so, u know, grownup..

I entered the cabin.
The dentist was a lady in her late twenties, she had a mask on her mouth, but had really pretty brown eyes and long hair.. Something told me she was a south Indian, probably Tamil.. (I have a southie fetish )
"Umm.. Chaudhary.. Arshat Chaudhary, right?"
Man! this was like James Bond..
"Yeah.. 007"
"What? is that your phone number..? Pls fill it in here..", she said, handing me the patient card..
No sense of humour these doctors have I tell you.. (I was to be proved wrong)

I filled up all the details and then sat on the Dentist chair, which is pretty much like a barbers chair, only at an more obtuse angle....
"Heylo doctor", I said as I lay down on the chair
"Hello", she said
"I am kinda nervous.. I have never been to a dentist before.. Its my first filling"
"Oh.. Dont worry.. Its my first too"
(startled)"huh?"
"joke tha baba"
"phew"
"I have done atleast 3 fillings before this"
(startled)"huh?"
"hee hee.. I meant today"

This was gonna be one long session..


What kinda filling would you like?
Umm.. Chocolate?bwhahahahah
No no.. I meant, silver or tooth coloured filling?
Hmm.. silver.. I mean, atleast I can sell it in times of need.. bwahahaha..
umm.. satish, bring the drill.. the BIG one..
She didnt like the joke it seemed..

Satish was her assistant,he seemed more than happy to get her the big drill.. He had that look on his face.. You know, the kinda look that says somebody-gonna-hurt-real-bad-tonight

The engineer in me noticed that there was a hermetically sealed compressor in the corner of the room. The engineer in me awakened (I would have liked had it awakened when I was giving my sem 7 exams)-
Hey! Thats a hermetically sealed compressor!
Hermi.. what?
Umm.. never mind.. What would you doctors do without us engineers!
She looked at me...Her eyes didnt look pretty to me anymore.. The big drill in her hand was making grrring noises..
We will see..Now this is gonna hurt.. Dont scream..
Oh, dont worry.. We men dont scream.. we fight.. we hunt.. but we dont scream..ow ow ow..

With that it started.. The drill drilling into my tooth.. I learnt a new thing bout the human mouth that day,- If someone drills into your tooth, it will hurt!....

one more thing I learnt - If someone puts their hand inside your mouth and you dont get to close your mouth for a long time, a lotta saliva collects in your mouth..
The dentist had a female assistant whose job was to place a pipe in my mouth which wud suck out the saliva, but she wasnt doing her job properly, some of my saliva drooled onto my shirt.. I dont think her heart was in that job.. But in her defense, who would find sucking saliva outta a guys mouth interesting?!



With a good amount of drool making my shirt wet, which btw doesnt happen too often.. It kinda happens only when I look at Salma Hayek, or when I am waiting for food to be served at a restaurant (Is that why girls dont come out with me the second time? :P) Anyways, the point is that my shirt was getting wet, and I dont like me gettin wet in public (or in private.. bathing is such a pain )
The dentist, however, was enjoying every moment of it..
"Satish, miracle mix and Zinc phosphate banana.."
Satish enthusiastically started mixing stuff that came outta weird looking bottles..

"Open wider....God.. this is the biggest cavity I have ever seen.....biggest cavity I have ever seen"
"Why did you say that twice? I am nervous already.."
"Oh.. I just said it once, the second time it was the echo! hahahaha"
hahahah.. Satish and the female assistant joined in..
"Yeah yeah.. very funny.."


Once the miracle mix was placed in the cavity, the job was done.. All I needed now is to get outta here...

Hmm, so Arshat, how do you like your filling?
umm.. I like it..
Good.. so if you have any other problems you can call me, my name and number is on the bill..
Yeah.. And you can call me too, my number is on the patient card..
Err.. Yeah.. right..
Wow.. this bill is kinda steep.. Dont I get a funny guy or a cute guy discount..

The dentist, satish and the female assistant gathered in a huddle to discuss my discount..
I heard satish saying - he was funny alright..
not that much - the assitant added
But that chocolate filling thing was hilarious..
yeah.. tht was good..
so what say? shud we reduce 150 rs?
150? u think he was that worth it?
okay then 100?
umm..okay

The dentist left the huddle- Arshat you ll be getting a 100 rupee discount..
Yeey!

I paid the bill.. I was happy on receiving my cute guy discount.. I know.. I know.. But its my blog, and I can say whtevr I want to...

As I left the clinic, I thought bout the Dentist, and Satish and the female assistant.. Its a boring job that they do if you ask me, I mean what can be more boring than sucking saliva outta a guys mouth or drilling a hole through his teeth or mixing ZnPo4 and miracle mix, but the entusiasm with which they work makes me feel good bout them.. And if hadnt been for them, I wudnt have silver in my teeth!

P.S. - The dentists name was Dr. Iyer btw.. She was tamil afterall!

P.S.- I figured most of us have been watching the news about Mumbai Attacks, so I half-cooked this post up.. Hope I have managed to extract a smile or two through this post... Silver in my teeth : One hour at the dentist

I was at Pune last week.. Now like every true blue Mumbaikar, I have been brought up to look down at every city other than Mumbai..
I wasnt expecting anything special from Pune..
I was pleasantly surprised...


Some musings...

*There r more colleges on one street of Pune than all of Mumbai.


*The rickshawalas are allowed to joke.. Rs.800 for a 6km ride at 1 am? hahahahaha... so funny..

Another time another day..
Me: Jagtap dairy? kitna?
Rick: meter+half or return
Me: Nahi re.. itna paisa nahi hai
Rick: okay.. 90
Me:nahi 30(something I learnt from my bargainin pro female frds..)
Rick: kya sahab.. chalo aapke liye 60..
Me: nahi yaar 30(man!! i am good..)
Rick: okay 50..
Me: roz ana padta hai yaar.. 50 roz-roz bahut costly hai..
Rick: (shifting to may marathi) 20 rupayat tumcha kay jaanar..
Me:(sticking to matrubhasha hindi) nahi yaar.. bahut costly hai..
Rick: aacha baitho

In bold letters MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!

Btw, we got to be good friends at the end of the ride.. he told me what buses to take and what all places to visit in Pune.. I asked him if he was on orkut and what his name on his profile was but then he thought i was getting too personal.. But he did tell me that he had his Ricks pic on his profile.. I have been searching for it ever since..



*There are only two age groups in Pune less than 25 and more than 55...There is no middle aged uncles/aunties around here..You will not find anyone around 35-40 walking the streets on Pune..I dunno how they do it..But I gotta feeling that the Govt. secretly kidnaps guys who are more than 25 yrs and less than 55.. To me, it looks like a social experiment.. Someone's got a better theory?

*Darvin derived inspiration for his theory of "Survival of the fittest" from the the Pune traffic.. The driving skills possessed by Punekars would make a Andheri bred-SV road driving-foul mouthing-horn honking rickshaw driver envious.. Punekars drive like they are playing a PC game.. Its like they gain extra point for cutting lanes and overtaking on flyovers..
If you dont overtake someone from the wrong side in the first 3 mins of driving its considered a foul.. You are red carded and ejected from the game for 90 mins.. what? seriously!!!



*The girls here are pretty, or so you guess..coz all of them have scarves around their faces with only their eyes showing... A lil tid-bit- Men in Afghanistan can tell a burkha clad womans age and how beautiful she must be just by noticing the spring in her step..Infact there are stories about how these Afghani men caught burkha clad female Russian spies just by noticing their walk.. I have become pretty much the Afghan myself...

*There so many scarves sold here... Girls, you know!! they have like 7 diff scarves for 7 different days - (baby pink for Monday, green for Tuesday, turquoise for Wednesday etc.).. btw, turquoise is a female version of blue..
According to the last budget 07-08, the sale of scarves in Pune contributes 0.3% to the country's GDP.. Its the second biggest industry in Pune after IT..

*Koli was driving me around the city one day when this scarf clad girl picked up a race against us.. She beat us for the first half of the race, but the male chauvinists that we are we werent ready to accept defeat from a lady rider.. Koli revved up the engine and beat her to the Pune university(thts where she was going we figured out).. For the record, the girl had an Activa while we had a fully loaded 150cc Xtreme..

*Pune is one of the few places which has an ideal boy-girl ratio.. Apparently ever guy with a bike has a girl(scarf-clad ofcourse..) on the back seat.. In much anticipation I asked my frds if they had found someone special, they hadnt.. it turns out they didnt have bikes!! Two of them had cars though, but as it turns out, cars dont do the trick.. How do u spell l-o-s-e-r-s?

*The apartments that I stayed in Pune deserve a special mention.. I stayed near the IT park in the burbs.. Huge apartments they have.. I stay in a 3BHK here in mumbai but flats in Pune are wayyy bigger... and their balconies.. hugeee balconies(half the size of the my bedroom)..The living room is the size of Eden gardens.. You could actually play Test matches there..(one tappi out ofcourse)

*I cant do without mentioning the weather..The weather is pleasant..
There was this day when I went sight seeing, I walked around 7-8 kms that afternoon, and not a drop of sweat!!
It doesnt rain tht much, but the temperature drops a good 5 degrees every night...With balconies big enough for you to play golf in, the evening is the best time to sit out there and soak in the scenery..
Both the apartments that I stayed in during the visit were on the 7th floor and offered quite a view of the city.. One word - Beautiful.. Dont tell Mumbai, but this was the first time I thought of settling outside mumbai..



If I have to compare between Mumbai and Pune, I would say Mumbai is like a middleaged businesswoman..(It has to be a woman, a man wont wear the queen's necklace now, would he?) Shes well established, respected and powerful.. She has worked hard to get where she is now.. shes always busy..she never sleeps...shes enterprising.. shes colourful.. shes fantastic!

Pune on the other hand is a 15 yr old.. Shes fun loving.. Shes beautiful, just like most girls are when they are 15.. shes got a few pimples here and there, but they only add to her beauty.. Shes growing up.. shes busy, but not coz she has to attend business meetings, shes busy coz she has to meet her frds or go shopping or do other girlie stuff..

As different as they are, they both are special in their own way...For the first time I am finding it difficult to choose between Mumbai and some other city.. And I thought this day would never come..

Special thanks to the guys who had to bear my company: Harish, Amit, Hemant, Suru, Ambrish, Abhjit and Koli.. All of them SPCEites.. What camaraderie!
Special thanks to Rishikesh aka monu
Thank you for the memories.. A city called Pune..

If we resort to lawlessness, the only thing we can hope for is civil war, untold bloodshed, and the end of our dreams.

A Sikh protestor was shot at by one Ram Rahim Singh's bodyguard near Nirmal Lifestyles, Mulund Watch the video here




The outraged sikhs blocked roads and stopped local trains and buses in mulund..


I was at home that day receiving calls from friends asking me to stay inside. One of my friends was caught up at some shop near Mulund station. Mulund station had seen most of the rioting since morning..They were showing clips of men with swords ransacking the station... I couldnt get through her on her cell, a sms later, she called me, she sounded tense.. She told me that she was walking from the station to her house.. I asked her where she was and if I should come and pick her up.. But it seemed that no private vehicles were allowed to run through the streets, I had to get there on foot... The place where she was stranded was downhill, and I knew if I run fast enough, I will reach there pretty quick...

I started outta my house, I havent felt this unsafe within 100mts from my house ever in my life.. And I have been on the these streets as late as 3 am... I could only see police vans all around. There were very few private vehicles... Pulsars and Indicas and most of them had Sardars riding it... While I was running along, someone threw a heavy metal box in my direction.. It wasnt meant to hurt or anything, I think.. I looked around there were sardars walking along..It couldnt be them, they were too far away... I contemplated going back home.. And I would have, had it not been for a friend..

I kept walking, my eyes searching for her everywhere.. I saw her, actually she saw me first and waved at me.. She gave me a smile that I have gotten used to over the years.. As I walked her to her house, she said between sobs..

"I thought they were a peace loving community..."
"Why so? coz Karan Johar has them in his movies, laughing and joking?", I said..

She always had prejudices(A friend explained, that this case is more of a stereotype).. all of us do, but its been preprejudice for her..
But as we were walking I wondered why I hadnt been shocked at the fury unleashed by them.. Aint I more prejudiced than her? And in a worse way...

We reached her house, she said thanks and I looked at her, I had respect for her. She was a brave girl. She saw people go beserk.. She saw men brandishing swords and knives.. She saw them rioting.. And her she was trying to put up a brave face, I could make out that she had been crying.. I wonder if I would have enough guts to walk all the way from the station to here like she did..

As I walked back to my house, I wondered if there was such a thing as a peace loving community..

Gujratis and Tamil are a peace loving communities.. I have some Gujrati friends... I love their dhoklas and the importance of colour in their lives, their flamboyance... And I like the fact that they are a peace loving community.. But werent Gujratis involved in Gujrat riots?
I have many Tamil friends, some of them very close to my heart... I have always seen them as peace loving community.. But isnt LTTE a tamil terrorist organisation?
Maybe the illiterate arent peace loving then.. But then what about the AIIMS doctors who when on strike dont attend patients.. Isnt that equivalent to rioting, taking people's lives?

1 billion people living in India.. The worlds most densely populated country.. Jam packed trains and buses.. Encroached footpaths, system abused , blatant twisting of rules... Even after all this we are able to live in harmony.. I read somewhere, "if so many Germans, Italians or French lived in a country this big, there would be bloodshed... "

I dont think there is any other country more tolerant than India.. And considering the number of people who are packed here and the poverty, I dont think theres a country more peace loving than India..

So what goes wrong in times like these? What happens to Indian who usually says "Chalta hai" when he doesnt get a place to sit in the trains or when there is no footpath to walk on or when manholes are left open without covers...?

Indians only get angry when you mess with their beliefs.. Even the Mutiny of 1857 took place coz the British tried to mess with our beliefs.. And they were smart enough not to do that again in the next 100 years that they ruled India!

I dont think anyone supports rioting, not even the ones who participate in it, unless they are paid for it...Riot is their way to get heard, which ofcourse is wrong, but is timetested and the easiest way to get the concerned people to take notice... As we grow more as a country and get ourselves educated, we will refrain from rioting.. There are other ways to be heard... And these ways are definitely more peaceful and in the long run, more rewarding...

The single clenched fist lifted and ready,
Or the open hand held out and waiting.
Choose:
For we meet by one or the other. Mulund riots..