The TimePass of India

You know you are from Mumbai when.....

Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.

You take fashion seriously.

You spend more time travelling than you send at home.

9:47 fast, means something to you.

u think tht delhi copied INDIA GATE frm mumbai's GATEWAY OF INDIA...

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

Amitabh Bachans house is a landmark

When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans!

You refer to the city as Mumbai and not Bombay .

You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing

Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?"

You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.

You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains...

"Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.

You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.

you can only smile forgivingly about the size of any other city in the world.

Every time you speak Hindi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face.

When while giving directions you say "Right MARO aur wahan pe ek bridge GIREGA"

You have hung on to dear life at the local door.

When you think everyone who lives to the south(Mumbai) of you is a snob and to the north of you sucks

when u c movie names like "shootout at Lokhandwala" & 'Ek chalis ki last local" & don't have to ask what the name means

you consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.

when "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word

Everything to the north of Mumbai is UP-Bihar and everything below is Madras

if someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...

when you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay

It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily-together!.

You have learnt how to stand in a queue

u treat mumbai as a country itself

when you actually see random people coming to help you when u have a problem

u want to get into the train already that is already in motion & u have 5 hands taking u in..

You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Mumbai

When you allow complete strangers to spend the night in your house because its raining outside and half the city is submerged...
You know you are from Mumbai when....

There is this post where I have written bout me being a Pro-man... I dont think too much on the words I use, but this one was pointed out by a friend and I have to explain what I meant!

So I searched in the dictionary on my cell phone.. (Yeah, I hav a dictionary on my cellphone, techsavvy or wht!)
The dictionary on my cell says - Proman - Not found! (Arrrgh these cellphone dictionaries)

Therefore(wow! I said therefore, whatta day!), I had to come up with my own definition of Proman

Proman/pruh-maan/1 n. someone who believes that men are better at most things.

Let me refine this -
You see, a proman believes that men are better than women at most jobs like changing a flat tyre, driving, hunting duck, ice hockey, engineering, arm wrestling and stuff..

But then women are definitely better than men in jobs like say nuturing a child, nursing, jobs involving creative designing, writing, colours, decorating, organising...

I mean, most of us have had female teachers while we were young, and I for one didnt like male teachers being introduced when I was in the 3rd grade. If my decisions were worth anything in the Mumbai Univ, I would make them recruit only female teachers.

Talk bout nursing, how many of us would want male nurses? Or lets take fashion desinging, even though this field is full of men, not many are tht straight... And women take up these fashion designing courses, while I still have to come across a guy whos enroled in such a course...

In short in jobs requiring high EQ girls will always be better...

Take for eg-babysitting, most men would suck at it. I dont know if its the cologne that men use or sumthing, but babies hate us. The only men I know who rocked at dealing with kids were Danny, Uncle Jessie and Joey. For all I know even they needed the services of Aunt Becky for things to fall in place...



Now, I am sure you feel women can be good drivers and can change flat tyres, and beat guys in arm wrestling, infact my cousin beat me back when i was 10 yrs old and she was 8yrs old (not to mention double my size and strength)... But then I grew up to have well rounded biceps,and she grew up to be all girlie, 6yrs down the line I challenged her again...sweet revenge!.. life is so fair!
I feel there are guys who can be good male nurses, and as American idol showed some of them can be good nursery teachers and good singers at the same time(not to mention good looking..)

There is nothing that men cant do or women cant do... But then we were hardwired differently so that we could complement each other(this is my guess). This different hardwiring makes us good at some jobs and suckers at others, and I guess thts how it was meant to be... And remember, there are exceptions to every rule. You might be one guy/girl who might be good at the things that I believe are opp sex territory... If you are one,...celebrate,... coz you are the exception to the rule.... You are exceptional!!



This post is dedicated to all my female readers who take time out to read this gibberish!
And yes, Happy Womens day! Proman!

There comes a time in your life when some girl will sweep you off your feet, his Grandpa used to say. That is what grownups say when you ask them why they married the one they did...

There was this girl at his place, tall, pretty, shy, the works... He was swept off his feet the very first time she walked into the room.
Just out of college she was.This was probably her first job. She had a tough time taking care of her saree. She must have been used to wearing Tshirts and jeans, poor girl had to wear sarees here. But most guys like traditional wear on their girls and so did he... She kept her hair open and it kept falling over her face. And then she would have to tuck it behind her ear.

He was so shy of her. He would look at her all day long and she would think hes so attentive. He acted all boyish and awkward, it was like he was in the 3rd grade again..

He had never met a girl this pretty in the last 8 years! She was perfect! All of a sudden getting up early seemed cool, for that was the way he could meet the girl he had been dreaming about last night.. The 5 hours spent around her were the best 5 hours in his day..

He so wanted to tell her how he felt.. But he had no guts then, he wonders if he still has any.. The best way for guys like him is to write it down on a piece of paper and give it to her to read. He was no poet, but they say when in love, even lines thrown in together sound good.

He wrote it in his notebook, on the last page. No one reads the last page he thought... No one does, but she did..
She laughed as she read it..

Now come on! whats funny there!! Its how he felt! So hes no poet! Maybe he sucks at poetry, but thts does not give her the right to laugh like that at someones feelings.. He thought he shouldn't have written that poetry or the piece of crap that it was.. Maybe she was just like all the other girls, maybe she was no different...

"Aaaww..thts so sweet of you", she said after she finished what seemed like the mother of all laughathalons..

What? sweet? nice! she must have liked my poetry! he thought

"Well.. I would like to meet your mom tomorrow", she said, still smiling..
What? why? Now shes gonna complain to my mom? She was being such a kid..

Anyways, he took his mom to school the next day...
"Your son loves me!", she said..
They both looked at him and started laughing...
"He does? He never told me about it!", his mom said.
"Yeah! Lets hope he marries me when he grows up!!", she said and they both started laughing.. This one lasted more than the last laughathalon!

"By the way, your son writes really good poetry for a 3rd grader", she smiled and lovingly gave him a peck on the cheek...
And all he could do is blush... like a 8 year old does, coz thts what he was...an eight year old...


But you know whats amazing bout this story?........ The 8 yr old went on to remember all this 14 years down the line...



Swept off his feet...

One of my friends says that I never talk about myself... I got this in an email from her, and decided to put it up on the blog...



1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? - my name means one who knows everything... Its not a noun, its an adjective used for God

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? - Men dont cry! We hunt..We kill duck..We eat raw meat..We no cry!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? - yes, its another thing tht others dont :P

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAL? - i like dal chawal with buttermilk and a lot of other side dishes (wht? i like to eat!)

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? - none tht i know of!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? - Yeah, i am a nice guy!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? - with close friends only
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? - No..if AXN and world's most amazing videos have taught me anything, i wouldnt!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? - Nope..dont like any

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? - hahahaah...i love this one..no, i dont!

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? - yeah...though not ass-kicking strong, i am strong enuf not to let my ass get kicked

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? - coffee almond

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? - depends on whether the person is a guy or a girl!

15. RED OR PINK? - red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? - tht i find it difficult to dedicate myself to one thing..this is my least fav thing bout myself

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? -my kid sister..miss her big time..noones here to laugh at my silly jokes now..

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? yep

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? - grey pants and no shoes(why was this ques included? )

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? -uttapa.....

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Pehli Nazar by Atif Aslam from Race...imagine me listening to a hindi song! But this ones the best since Doorie..

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? - Fluorescent Orange..I rem kids fighting over it..

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? - Dettol, Jai soap, the Cologne tht u get on Indian Airlines flights, tea(when its being made), Gillette roll-on

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? - Akshay Sukhtankar..hes a classmate who now works in the same firm as me..

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? - yeah i do..shes pretty cool

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? - liked cricket but lost interest after Ganguly was dropped from the team...

27. HAIR COLOR? Black, coloured brown

28. EYE COLOR? - black

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? - no..my eyes r too sensitive

30. FAVORITE FOOD? - anything thts vegetarian and spicy will do..i hav a weakness for paneer and mushrooms

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? - happy endings..i love them (I hope I dont come across as girlish )

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? - Mithya..loved it, except the ending....

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? - dark blue Tshirt, actually its SPCE's mech Tshirt...

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? -winter afternoons..Diwali vacations if I can get them..

35. HUGS OR KISSES? - Cant I get both? Hugs I guess..

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? - not much of a dessert person actually... i like to have fruit salad though..

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - Arshat!

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - hero, boss , guru :P

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? - blink! It was given to me by a friend, and the literary genius tht i am, i hav been trying to complete it from the last 1 month

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? - er..a mouse!!?

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? - Simpsons, My wife and Kids and Sarabhai vs Sarabhai

42. FAVORITE SOUND? - bagpiper, guitar, birds chirping, mooing cows with bells round their necks

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? - Havent heard them.. But arent Rolling stones those skinny guys with swollen lips..why are they so hyped?

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? - I hav been to London once. I hope this is not one of those philosophical questions...

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? - Yeah, i can climb up walls and stop high speed trains with my left hand..

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a hospital

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? - yours I-am-what-I-am!

Face lift!!
Yeah... My blogs got a face lift.. And I am the Plastic surgeon(sounds cool ) behind this fab work!
(Hilary duffs Pic below is just to make sure you read atleat some parts of this post :P)



The template I had a few days ago was one of a kind but I was bored with some much dark green (or bottle green as girls wud call it) in the background and wanted something white, Simi Grewalish white...

It took me about 40 manhours to design this template completely. The main structure is "inspired" from Finalsense.com's Auto template. But it seemed to impersonal...too unarshatish.. So, I had to come up with this!

So what do we have here?
I wanted the diary-feel so I have kept tht area intact. Actually I have tweaked it a lot! Top and bottom margins, padding, line height are some of the things you have to take into consideration. For a mech engg like me, who has trouble even with C and C++, Css stylesheet was gonna be difficult, real difficult.
With a lil help from Pushkar and Sameer and a lot of Trial testing, I have almost achieved wht I had set out to achieve. :)

The header could hav been better, I agree, but its not me, if its not shabby :P...

All these days I have really missed blogging(stop rejoiceing, I am back!). Revamping your blog takes a lotta time.
Point to be noted: I dont have a lotta Computer Engg as friends. I should do something bout that! It would have been less frustating(yeah thts the word) with a Comp sci guy by my side..

Now tht I have the template back in place, I ll be blogging more often *evil grin*

There is so much I wanna bore you guys with...I wanna talk bout how the xml collapsed and how coding sucks and stuff, but I guess I ll keep it for another day..I am too tired anyways..

Well for guys who wud wanna have this template follow this link.
I wudnt mind if someone wud like to make donation for the Arshat Chaudhary foundation for lazy engineers (Believe me, this is your chance to give back to the society) Know-thy-self Blogger Template

Last sunday I met some of my oldies. I call them my oldies coz i have known them for more than 9 years now...And as it goes with old friends, it was great fun...

Some musings
*Powai doesnt have half the outlets tht Nirmals does!
*Powai still is a lot of fun
*Its fun with your old friends even when you have nothing to talk about and nowhere to go...
* Your friends know you too well to see through you when u are lying..
*You can talk bout anything to them
Arshat: Some guys make me wanna be a girl (@#$#! did I say tht out loud?)
Harish: whaaa?
Sandy: ewww..
(Yeah! I had said tht out loud..)
Arshat: er..well George clooney and John Stamos...
and my German boss (shit! did i hav to say his name!!)
Sandy: ewww..
*Well maybe you cant talk bout everything with them

*The problem with ppl who know you inside out is tht they judge you before hearing you out..

*Its bloody cold here! Sunday was the coldest day in the last 45 yrs in the history of mumbai! (10.2deg C is the recorded temp in Santacruz..Powai is colder..In Mulund its snowing...I have a tendency to exaggarate)..Take out the wollens ppl!

*Its fun when there r two guys and a girl! Coz when I say sumthing stupid, trust Harish to come up with something equally foolish.. Makes me look a lot better

*If there is a single girl among two guys she ll get special attention..(Ah! genius!)

*Mochas is absurdly costly!
Sandy : I will have the "cookie crumble"
Arshat: tereko cost patah hai? Rs.95!! (I can be quite a chindi if i want too)
Harish: I hope you know, ur cookie is gonna be this big(his fingers denoting the size of a 5 rupee coin)
We being the smart ones called for the- "Con panna" for Rs.40! Nice choice we thought..

When we got our orders we found the "Con panna" is called so for a reason. You see, its a CON! The size of the cup was smaller than the cups which come with the Barbie friends set!



(My female friends hav passed me on this info..I havent even touched Barbie till date..er..well..maybe once or twice..)

Sandy got her cookie crumble, the size of cream on which resembled the hills tht overlooked Powai..
Bloody Mochas..
Just to add, we mowed down half the hills from Sandy cup...Lifes so fair..

*There are many firangs roaming around in Powai..With not many hotels around, I wonder where they come from..

*All my friends have topped their respective trades sometime or the other...For eg - Harish topped school..Sandy topped the univ last yr... In most parts of the world having such friends would classify me as a loser but I can safely say they are not as geeky as their portfolios sound..

*If there is a single girl among two guys she ll get special attention (Did I mention tht already?)

*No matter how much u like the guy and how much you miss each other, u cant hug at the end of the day
Arshat: akward hug or cool guy handshake?
Harish: cool guy handshake for sure!
Stangely enough ask a girl this and you get a stare tht will make sunny deol pee in his pants


Its been a great 9 years with you guys...We have been through good and bad times together.. We might not hav a lot of time for each other more so as we get involved further with our respective careers and stuff... But I just want you guys to know, phone calls or no phone calls, mails or no mails, we will remain friends forever...
I hope I be there when Harish gets married and stuff (and stuff? :P).. I hope to be there when Sandy has a daughter(I m sure u gonna have a daughter...)
And hope we be there after our retirement and then we talk about all the fun we had when we were 20 over a cup of...er..."Con Panna"?? :) 2 guys, a girl and "Con Panna"

365 days
106 post
6500 visits

Yeah, its been an year since I started blogging... I remember how the blog-bug bit me...

I was searching for some Pu La Deshpandes audio mp3 for download, when I came across Gaurav Sabnis' blog....a COEP passout doing his MBA from IIM-L...I got fascinated by his writing and it was fun living his life at IIM through his blog (He blogged almost everyday)
As I read through his archives I came through the IIPM scandal. I dunno if u guys remember about this kid who through his blog had ransacked through IIPM's tall claims and stuff.. and there were articles in the newspapers...Well, Gaurav was tht kid!! Now dont be too enthu, the guy writes about politics and stuff now(hes writes like a grownup now) and tht somehow is not very interesting for me. Thts why you dont find him on my blogroll no more...

Anyways, thats when I decided to start my own blog. Here is my first post.

To be honest, I felt my obsession with blogging wont continue for more than 3 months or so... But god bless my ramblings about engineering and Mseb and mmrda tht I had something to write always !

There were times I used to wonder if my friends really liked my writings(or they read it at all)
But a few weeks of my absence on the blogosphere and all my friends would ask me if I was alright and why there were no posts of late!(Its weird how ppl can get addicted to gibberish)

I made a few blog friends too whose names you would find on my blogroll.. Thanks for the inspiration guys.

I am not a guy who is used to compliments, so it was kinda pleasant when ppl complimented me on my writings...Its sumthing tht keeps me going...Pls keep those coming :)

I so wanna thank everyone who visits this blog(God bless your soul) and posts their comments to make this a better place. But I cant include everyones names here coz its a long list(and I am sure most of you know who you are)... But wherever you guys are, I wanna say -

You could have been anywhere in the world but you chose here
Kinda unbelievable mate but its been a whole year...

So many days, so many thoughts gone by
Some yet to come, some yet to be tried...

You guys have been a lovely crowd
Thank you all for coming out...

I look at you guys, I take a bow
The posts ll just keep coming, stay glued to your seats now! First Anniversary

Part 1 of the "Hey Dog" trilogy.(Yeah, just like MATRIX!!)

Read the Part 1 -Hey Dog (The original dog!) here..
Read the Part 2 -Hey Dog (Dog's day out!) here..
Read the Part 3 - Hey Dog (The return of the wise one) here..
(No reference between the three, just like MATRIX!!)

Theres something I really love about my workplace. Its the lush green lawns, the gardens, the flowers in their full bloom..And I love the fact tht you have to walk along the gardens to reach the office from the campus gate...Its really lovely...It actually makes getting up early less miserable for me..

Nowadays a canine couple with pups in tow has made the garden its home...Now we dont allow anyone without an identification within the factory premises, but for these guys we made an exception...

I look at them enviously(you ll know why) every morning as I pass by the lawns to enter my office..
Its a family of 6..(or maybe 7)...There is one Daddy dog(sounds like some rapper no?)..one mother dog, and 4 or 5 pups(whtevr happened to family planning!)

This Daddy dog is kinda ugly, black and white in colour and looks kinda malnourished and limps a little... Mommy dog is all white and pretty(in a doggy kinda way).How on earth did a dog like him get such a pretty female to like him...The look like Mandira Bedi and her husband
would(who is he anyway?), if they ever went out together...

Anyways,
Some dogs have all the luck..
I mean, look at him, rolling in the grass all day, licking his..u know what...sniffing her..u know where..
Why? Why? Why did he get to all this fun((?)) stuff on a monday morning, while I sit at my desk and work all day!

I stopped by him(the dog)..I looked at him like Sunny Deol looks at people hes gonna pound with his dhai kilo ka haath.. He just looked away, like Sachin does, after hitting Shoaib for a six!

But there was no reason for me to be uncivilised..After all we were supposed to be best friends(Dog is mans best friend..Aaarrggh)...So I decided to go through a small chat..




Hey dog!

Hey dog!

Hey!!? Why did u call me dog for?

Bow-wow!..I thought we were doing tht rapper thingy...U know, where one rapper calls the other "nigga"....Btw, why did u get all mad when i called u dog?

Er..u see...we dont like being called dog...esp by a dog!

Hmm..i see..u humans are weird. I love being called dog..

Hmm..Is it fun being a dog?

Lemme see..I stay in a garden whose maintainance is done by ur company, and I dont work for ur company...And tht girl you losers have been eyeing for days now, stops by me to say-"How cute" everyday...so..i guess its fun being a dog...

Well,she says tht bout ur kids and not u...And I am not eyeing her, some of my friends are...and they are not losers..on second thoughts, maybe they are..

Hmm...u sound pretty cranky..Hows life?

Well mine is a dog's life..

GREAT!

Er..well..the word dog isnt taken in a good sense in our world...no offence..

Hmm..I see..So ur life is boring?

Kinda...I mean there nothing concrete tht i do..

Neither do I...

Thts why I said Its a dogs life!

You have any girlfriends?

No...Why?

I have lots! So ur is not a dogs life after all!

You have lot of girl friends? Shudnt you be calling them bitch-friends? bwhahaha

Hey! Watch ur tongue....

Er..Sorry! I didnt know u were so touchy about ur girls...Is your wife cool about it?

Yeah..kinda..

So, u dont have monogamy at your place?

I believe trust is more important than monogamy..

Man! u r too smart for a dog..

I know..I get tht a lot..

So...er..I dunno if I shud be asking you this..but how do u get the bitches to like u?

Oh..so u wanna get into the game...gonna get jiggy..gonna smack up some...

Will u pls stop tht!! Cut to the chase..

Er..bow wow!ok! ok! why r u so cranky! Well, if u hav to know - Its all in the sniffing!

Sniffing?

Yeah...ur first sniff is enough for her to know ur intentions..

Oh I see..I dunno why I asked a dog for advice! Monday blues I think..Dont u feel the blues on a monday morning?

No..er...Shudnt u be at work or something..I mean yours is a 8:45 shift, and its close to 9 now?

Yeah...I shud be...I shud get going..Was fun talking to you...

Same here..You cud have made a very good dog..

Thanks..er..i guess..



I turned around and started walking towards my office...Did I just talk to a dog for 15 mins! Guess I did..Man! I looked back..He was there, playing with two of his pups, the other three were still asleep cuddled next to their mommy, she licked them every once and again...It was a
pretty picture..

The ugly dog, didnt seem ugly anymore.. Hey dog!

She stood there...As pretty as ever..."Hi! Where are you?" Her voice sounded as sweet as it did 8 years ago. Thank god testosterone doesnt touch girls!
"I ll be there in a moment..", he said. He could see her from the first floor of the mall...She wore a white kurti and a pair of jeans.

They shook hands. She looked at him and smiled... Her smile could light up a thousand rooms. Its the kind of smile which makes you feel everythings fine and if its not, it will be...Her eyes were soft, her hair were long...she was shy, simple, elegant, girlie, pretty...She was the kind he dreamt of...The kind you wanna take home to your mother...The kind you read about in Novels but never meet in real life..He pinched himself a couple of times to check if this was a dream...It wasnt..

He had never acted this schoolboyish for any girl.. He came from work, took a shower, got rid of the stubble he was sporting from a couple of days and rushed to the mall to reach 15 mins before time. All this from a guy who doesnt even care to comb his hair and always reaches late when his friends call him..

They talked.. About movies and places and stuff.... She did the talking most of the time...He was amazed at how much this girl knew..He knew no other girl who could hold a conversation like her..."Shes so intelligent..so well read", he thought... And the innocence with which she puts up her point, leaves no scope for an argument.. His friends say that he argues a lot... If there was one girl he could never argue with, it would be her..
He did say some gibberish every now and then and She laughed at all his silly jokes...and it was nice to hear her laugh..she laughed like a 7 yr old would, with all her heart and with innocence brimming over..

He thought about the day when she told him that she ll be coming to India... He never thought she would wanna meet him too..And He never had the guts to ask her if she would...
But tonight he had been good..There werent many occasions when he was awkward.. He carried himself pretty well,he thought...

It was getting late and she had to get home..It had been more than 2 hours, it seemed like a lot less than that though...


"I have to get going.",she said.

"Oh..ok"

"Thanks for everything."

"Thanks...Thank you...", he said..

"Bye!"

Time stood still...

She smiled..

And everything was fine.......


____________________________________________________


Kinda abrupt ending, no? But I dunno wht happens next, so I guess you guys will have to do with it... Plus this is my first attempt to write something in this genre so pls dont make fun of my writing ...
Everythings fine.....

Crimson Lights..Oh so few,
Mumbai has a lot more, but this feels new...
Long flights bore me, but not today..
Fulltoo enthu I am, as my craft lands on the runway..
Cold mornings, Lazy afternoons wait along...
Home away from home, here I come.

I got to visit Nagpur this weekend. There was a wedding in the family. I reached Nagpur airport on Friday night 3 hrs late than scheduled!

I thought of these lines(calling it a poem would be like calling Sunny Deol a Pole dancer) when I was looking down the window of my Business class seat.. And the mention of the Business class is to..er..well..brag :P

I have been working(?) for the past 5 months and I needed a break big time...
So how was my trip? Well amazing and hectic!
2 days of my stay there involved a lot of travelling... We(my parents and me) had to rush to Wardha* as soon as we landed at Nagpur.
We reached there after the guests had left...The groom was slightly miffed..but wht to do! All the flights were late tht day!
(*Wardha is 75 kms from Nagpur. Wardha is known for Sewagram where Gandhiji spent a lot of time.)

I love the winters...esp when I dont have to get up early. So its fun when u get to visit some place coz then u can stay late in bed.


One of my friends who stays in the US once told me that she would find it difficult to stay in Mulund, coz she had grown up to the idea of living in a small town... Now I can decipher what she meant by tht... I mean, life here is so cool.. 9 am isnt rush hour,its just morning ... 5 pm isnt the time to drive into a traffic jam , its time to go home... No one seems to wanna get anywhere here. Life assumes a natural pace here.

Homes here are like they shud be...with a small lawn and a porch in front of the house... and a Bajaj Chetak or a Hero Honda splendor parked in the porch.And most of them have a terrace, from where u could see kids playing cricket (and blatantly twisting the rules in the favour of the kid who owns the bat and the stumps).
If you have time, which in all likelihood you do when you r in a small town, you can enjoy watching the sun set and wonder where does it go at night.. If you still manage to bore yourself, you can read the Marathi dailies tht u thought never existed. Or you could also watch Doordarshan and reminisce of the good old times when we didnt have a choice and waited an entire week for the Saturday night movie. I would be amazed if anyone says that they can watch an entire movie on TV nowadays..


One more thing I like love about my native is the kind of food you get... I mean, its not very rich or anything, but it tastes very different from the stuff we get here in Mumbai. Plus when you r touring your native, like I was, there r no fixed eating times. That means, every time is eating time. My mom, a doctor by profession, obviously doesnt approve of such a haphazard eating schedule, but wht to do...when u r driving from ur dad's friends place to ur aunt's place, u
have to go by their schedules...

Afternoons here are so lazy... You lay back in your chair and wonder why the sky's so blue...why is the grass so green...and why is it so cold outside at 3 in the afternoon..why is it tht I dont lie down like this more often..Why cant life be this simple...Why do I have to leave for mumbai tomorrow...Would I wanna stay here all my life...Is this how it feels when you are home? Am I home? Is this home..?



Crimson lights, they so many..
Aint I supposed to like tht? I find it so funny...
Phils and Philosophies I leave for another day..
I am now coming back home, my craft lands on the runway..
Cold mornings, Lazy afternoons long gone..
Ladies and gentlemen, I am back home... Nagpur-Wardha-Nagpur-Mumbai

If there's no drama and negativity in my life, all my songs will be really boring or something...
-Eminem


Its weird what ppl do when they are pushed...Like in engg in Mumbai university. I wont say engineering in Mumbai univ is more difficult than other universities. But there are many associated factors which make it difficult. Take for instance, travelling. 4 hrs of travelling to college is not a regular affair in every city. But in Mumbai its what most Tom, Dick and Patils do... There are many other distractions tht a city like Mumbai wud offer, but lets not go there...

My point is, we (engg students) tend to make our lives difficult by erratic planning and idiotic schedules... Our Professors dont help our case much...They screw us with even more erratic planning of their own... So u may have to complete 4 assignments in one day or complete two practicals in 2 hours with the readings and all....

Its weird what ppl do when they are pushed... Some of them fall...Others look for support... Some fall in love (which is not even love, subject of another post) , some take up nicotine, some alcohol and some others find solace in music...

Now this isnt the music they used to listen to as kids... This music is different...

The genre of music they listen to depends on wht engg they are doing, i mean the field they are specializing in and wht college r they doing it from...And obviously, it also depends on how f**ked up their life is..

If u r from a college in Western suburbs like Andheri, Bandra etc.(read SP{my college}, Tsec, Fr Agnel) there is a fair chance u wud like to listen to hard rock... The lower your grades, the harder your rock!

If u r from a college in Central suburbs, like Matunga, Vidyavihar etc.(read VJTI, Somaiya) u wud luv to listen to soft rock sumthin like Linkin Park..(provided u r able to keep up ur grades)

If u r from Navi mumbai college(read...well, there are about 20 coll here..), u wud probably listen to songs like summer of 69 and stuff..
Maybe when the grades decline they will shift to meaner stuff but its usually doesnt go beyond "Nothing else matters"..

If u r from Thane (read Johndale, Parshwanath etc.), there is a fair chance u like Himesh!

Well, most ppl reading this blog (u guys really read my blog?) know I am different! So I obviously wont fall into any of the above categories... Some of my friends listened to rock, but i didnt understand all the noise and the head banging... Plus I dont wanna end up with spondylitis when I grow old!

My cousin, Aroop intoduced me to rap when i was in 12th...the first song i heard was Eminem's "Lose your self"... I loved it when I first heard it, but the words didnt stick...

I guess it was in the 1st year of engg when Eminem's tracks started to sound interesting... I got hooked on to Dr. Dre, Snoop dogg, 50 cents and later Jay Z....
Most of Eminem's songs made sense...somehow u could relate to them...Back then I had written some lines myself.. Tell u what, Rap comes out much better if u r very screwed or very elated! Since I was normal(relatively :)) my poetry sucked!

It still sucks! The other day I was sitting in office thinking about the electricity crisis in Western Maharashtra and the water crisis in eastern Tamil Nadu... a song struck me...Jay Z's "99 problems"

I was humming it (coz singing is not allowed in office, plus the song has objectionable lyrics) and checking my mails(This was after I was done thinking about Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and Alyssa Milano..er...i hav no idea why i mentioned her...)

I came across this mail...Its a story... Its in Hindi..Pls try and understand...
The English translation is given below anyway..

Pls click on the image to get a clearer view...




The (crude) English translation is -

Raju's father bought a Robot which could detect people lying... The robot wud slap anyone who lied...
One day Raju came late from school and when asked he lied about having extra classes..
The Robot slapped him. His dad(Raju's... not the robot's) asked him wht he really did... Raju told him about this mythological movie "Hanuman" he saw... The Robot slapped him again!
On being interrogated further, he told his father the truth about watching an erotic movie called "Katil Jawani"
Raju's dad got angry. He told Raju how when he was Raju's age he was all sincere and stuff... The robot slaps the father this time!- Implying tht this time he was lying...
Raju's mom now intervened saying tht since he was Raju's dad, Raju was bound to lie like him..
Hearing this the Robot slaps the mother, implying tht Raju's dad is not his real dad!
I hope u get this story...

Now read this…Same story in English!

To be sung on the tune of 99 problems –Jay Z (well, atleast some parts)

Once upon a time not a long ago,

Raju's dad brought a Roboto!

This Robot wasnt crude, get tht dude..

He slapped anyone who didnt say the truth...

Once Raju came late to home...

“U going out with ur Girlfriends son?”

“Er...no! Poppy u got it all wrong,

I got late coz i was studying, man I was on a song!

I cant help it if I get late,

I aint dating noone - Ashley, Mary or Kate..”

Hearing this the robot got activated,

He slapped Raju on his cheek,it knew he had dated!

“U lying boy, my robo knows,

When I was ur age son, I had no doves!”

The robo slapped the popa next,

I guess it liked this one best..

Moma now intervened,

Two slaps now it had been..

“Raju is ur son, him to lie we expect...

U got slapped in front of ur son, u lost all respect..

Like the father the son tends..”

The robo slapped the moma next, this is how the story ends!

I know..I know..its amatuerish but its an attempt...And I wrote it in my office..among the chaos..among designs and printouts and within the sight range of the German who sits right behind me...Hes pretty cool anyways, but hes not well versed with the art of rap, so..wht a waste..

I wasnt too elated or too screwed while writing this poem so considering all tht i guess it came out pretty well! :P

I got 99 problems....

I know everything except what women want!
-Anon

I am never gonna understand Women..er..Girls. Its girls till I get 32 or get married (whichever comes last!)

Now mankind (I mean the manly kind) has never been able to understand the womankind(is tht a word?). The other day I had coffee with one my sweetest female friends. The topic shifted to girls which is probably the only interesting topic we cud talk bout.

Me being a mech engg. have lost complete touch with the womankind. The girls in Engg werent my type so never really pursued any... The girls tht usually make it in engg are the tomboyish types while I like more of the girlie types and no, girlie doesnt necessarily mean those girls who spend hours in front of the mirror... My interpretition of girlie girls is tht they are simple, smart and shy...
Now dont judge me! (Btw, googling - simple, smart and shy shows 1,900,000 results. One question - Where the heck are they!?@#)

Back to the topic - So we were talkin bout why mech engineers suck at making female friends and it turns out tht its coz we dont understand girls...

Heres the conversation:-

Me: So u saying I dont understand girls?
She: Well dumbo, I feel u dont get it! You dont call ur girls, dont send them flowers...u dont even remember their Bdays!!!
Me: Oye? Girls expect me to call everyday?
She: Yes, donko! 10 times a day!
Me: But wudnt I be disturbing her if I call her 10 times a day?
She: Nope...We love it!
Me: U crazy!
She: (giggles) No, u crazy!


I dont get it!! I get disturbed even when my Mom calls me when I am in my office. Plus how am I supposed to express my feelings? ...We men! We hunt! We fight! We drink directly from the carton! We DONT express our feelings...Asking us to express our feelings is like asking Shoaib Akhtar to bowl leg-spin!

One wonders, if God made hormones (Ignoring wht Charles Darwin preaches) why didnt he put in the same ones in both guys and girls? I guess thts coz he knew opposites attract.

Maybe opposites do attract. So does tht make me - complicated, foolish and bold!?
Er..I dont think so...

Theres another twist...
I always thought these qualities tht I find attractive were necessarily physical (no, not sexual...physical..Theres a difference!!)
But in the last few weeks I have found tht its not all physical...

There is this girl, who was a yr junior to me in my school. She was a mixture of all the said qualities and more...She was all sweet and giggly and schoolgirlish... And obviously I did like her...But at 15, u dont try and analyze why u like sumone...

Now shes settled outside the country, and we chat almost everyday. Chattin is the next best thing to talkin... You can get to know a lot bout the person, how he/she would react to a situation, her wit, sense of humour etc. etc. And man, isnt she amazing!

The point here is , its been ages since we met in 3-D, but I still like her. There is a fair chance tht my brain still interprets her as a giggly girl who wore braces as a kid and maybe it(my brain) is surprised at the amount of maturity and wit she has... Maybe thts one of the reasons I like her so much...

So u see? My brain can solve calculus and mechanics but it is as lost as Schumacher in Mumbai traffic when it comes to feelings...
Its like tht movie - I,Robot in which the robot saves Will Smith and not the little girl coz it calculates tht Will has a 42% chance of survival and the girl has only a 12% chance. It lets her die.

12% wasnt less...

Only if we were hardwired better


Me: Ok, So you mean, I shud send her flowers and choclates? Tht sounds so High-Schoolish. Actually it is outright foolish!
She: Be as practical as u want with the outside world... But with a girl u gotta be foolish...
Me: Foolish?!
She: Yes donko!
Me: U crazy
She:(giggles) No, u crazy! Girls!! Will I ever understand them!

This is my 100th post. Now that I look at the days gone by(at the posts gone by rather) I cant help noticing that I love some post better than others. After a lot of analysis I now present 26 of my fav posts.

I have listed below my favourite post over the last 300 days that I have been blogging.

Most of these posts are very close to my heart for different reasons. Its amazing how much we learn about ourselves when we look back at the days gone by.

Here are the posts which have made you laugh, cry and sometimes even think.

My placements- When the vacations finally began

India Win T20 World cup

Its amazing what men can do!

Of Siemens, cookies and Damsels

Panner Hakka Noodles

Those were the days

The last day of Engineering

IIT JEE-Mumbai Tops!

A F1 driver

Hair I go again!

To prove a point

Schlumberger

The farewell

Ties and sarees

The Diary of...??

Of Gujus, colours and Holi

I just played my natural game

There is GOLD in Mulund

Games ppl play

Bhule toh nahi

The good life continues @ Juhu

In love with Sid Ashara

Nostalgia

SPCE Lingo

The curse of the Thief

There is something about Chetan! My Best Posts ever

I am not among those ppl who would post Urdu poems on their blog...Infact I hate sms shayaris...But there are some of my majnu friends who have blood relatives in Airtel....They somehow keep sending me all these "Tere naam" type shayaris.. Now, me being a nice guy tht I am, I cant ask them to remove me off their messaging lists.

But the other day, I read this sms tht my friend sent me...

I am gonna write it below...Read it slowly...Try and picture it, u wud like it tht way..



Uski ankho mein mohobbat ki chamak aaj bhi hai..

Use mere pyaar pe shak aaj bhi hai...

Naav mein baithkar dhoye the haath kabhi usne...

Saare talab mein mehndi ki mahek aaj bhi hai....




For my readers in the US, UK, France and Italy - here is the somewhat crude translation

Her eyes sparkle with my love still
She aint sure bout it though
Her hands touched the lake waters once
It fragrances of mehndi* still...

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi

Pardon my utter disregard for Urdu and English grammar.
Man, I suck at English poems..




Shayari

http://www.google.com/searc...india%27s+most+wanted+timepass

Sometimes I like to go on a ego trip...Actually, I love to go on ego trips..The reason - coz they are the only trips tht need no money and no sick leaves. I say sick leaves coz as Trainees we are not allowed casual leaves... So, sick or not, Sick leaves it is! I have already taken half of my alloted sick leaves... My colleagues must think what a sick person I am...

Coming back to the topic... I was just going on one of my trips when I came across this...

Search for india's most wanted timepass in Google... Who tops the list??? Yeah..yours truly! The Time Pass Of India.

I didnt think I wud make it to the top this soon... And I would like to thank my friends whose antics I have posted... I wud also like to thank all my readers who have too much free time and who are kind enough to read the gibberish tht I produce...

I wud also like to thank the idiots at WordPress. Had it not been for their stupidity I could have never been india's most wanted timepass! (If u wanna know wht happened at WordPress read this!)

This blogger knows this means nuthing...its just a bug in Google's algo... Phir bhi yaar, why waste a chance to blow ur trumpet!


india's most wanted timepass

I got this mail yesterday....I m sure all you engineering guys must have read this one...
I am pasting it here for all my non-engineering friends...there are not many...I guess they were pissed off by my not spending time with them...Sorry guys! This post will confirm tht we are basically lazy and jobless people who coz of their own Time mismanagement have no time when it comes to spending time with their friends....

There has been a lot of fiddling around by me with the original mail...This has lead to the ruining of a perfectly sane email...



Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!



On being Late

"I overslept" (this is a Arshat Chaudhary special)
"Was caught up in the Traffic at SV Road"(Most Profs who have seen SV Road buy this excuse)
(classic) " Train was late" (Everybody who stays more than 10 kms from the college in Mumbai is allowed this excuse)



During Lecture

"Biscuit hai kya? Bhook lagi hai" (This is a SPCE mech special)
"Rahul ka assignment 3 tere paas hai??"
"Yeh double lecture hai kya?"
"Yeh kya sikha raha hai??!"

(classic)"Journal sheet hai??"


Lab
"Practicals hone wala hai?" (Again a SPCE special)
"Expt. 1 likha??"
"Attendance ho gaya??"

(classic)"Karna kya hai??"



Unit Test
"Yeh kab sikha ke kab hua??"
(classic)"Aaj kounsa test hai?"


late submission of assignments

"SOM ka last date extend hua thaa"
(classic)"I didnt know the last date"



VIVA (b4 exam)
"submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Dekh Boss !! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai......(ekdum emotional )"



VIVA (after exam)
"yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"
"achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"
"ye subject ka reference book kaunsa hai"
"Vidyalankar mein to alag hai"





VIVA (general)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala , then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"

(Classic) "Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"
When is Sardar Patel's bday? (This ques was actually asked in SPCE..Sardar Patel College of Engg.)




Submission
" Ye bhi chhapna hai kya??"
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

(classic)"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

(classic conversation)

A: Ye tune kya likha hai / teri handwriting aisi kyun hai?

B: Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal

maine Mahesh se likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.

Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nah samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de.


EXAM
"Jo (mujhe)aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"
"tere paas Daji ke notes hai??"
" nahi samjha to rat le "

(classic..... when someone is intensively doing his last revision) "Yeh nahi aayega !!!"

Enjoy the Best Dialogues of Engineering!