End of Term 0!



So I am back. Not that I wasnt here already. Its just that I was living the zombie life. We had our end-terms which ended yesterday.
So, the last few days were really weird, studying till 5 in the morning with friends, drinking loads of tea with bhujiya (thanks JD), downloading ppts, cribbing, cursing our luck and the people who came up with the idea of MBA altogether.

Anyway, we are now done with our exams, and the foreign batch is here. We decided to throw a double party - one to welcome them, the other to celebrate end of our exams. We had a party the next the day too. I have no idea of the reason for the party, but who needs a reason?

The week before the exam was so damn hectic that I was forced to ask myself - Where is the pause button on this damn thing?

After the last exam we were sitting at nescafe in MDI, wondering what to do with our free time. It happens when you are not used to having free time.

This is an excerpt of our convo -
Me: Kal kya activity hai?
Rahul: I think kal kuch nahi hai.
JD: Kuch bhi.. there has to be something.
Rahul: No, I think its like...er.. like... a holiday.
me: Really? Can anyone confirm that.
Akshay: Yeah. We have the next two days free.
me: two days?
Akshay: 48 hours man. This has to be the defining moment of our lives.

So I got really pumped up and came with a to-do list-

Things to do in the next 48 hours-
1. Clean the desktop. I dont know why there are so many icons on my desktop.
2. Cut your nails. As in my nails.
3. Read the newspapers. I have been stacking the newspapers since the last 20 days. There is a lot to read.
4. Watch a bit of TV
5. Clean the room.(I have started to sound like my mom now!)
6. Yeah, sleep for 10 hours(atleast)
7. Read blogs. Its been ages since you have commented on peoples blogs. People hate you now.
8. Watch the movies and the sitcoms you have been downloading since the last one month.
7. Teach the foreigners hindi.

Okay, I know my hindi isnt anything to write home about(write in hindi ofcourse). But it is anyday better than them.

Btw, the other day, we had this football match against the normal management batch(I make them sound so low-profile.. he he he). Now since we had europeans in our team, we kicked butt.
For all you desh-bhakts, dont worry, the HR batch beat us in the next game. But seriously, how did HR beat us, I mean, isnt that batch supposed to be full of girls?

I did an analysis and realised that it was because of lack of co-ordination(ah! Genius!)
But seriously, its because of the language problem. For eg -

When Vikram says - Abbe le, ball le..
Nicholas thinks - Lays? I will have salted.

It has come as a surprise, but subconciously we use a lot of hindi words while talking to the firangs - like- aacha, hai na, nahi, chalo etc etc. And not that we dont know english, there are people here who have a 99% in Verbal but still make the same mistake while talking!

So thats all about the two days of timepass that we did. Want to write more but am short on time. How much can one do in 48 hours anyway? Anyway, its raining out here. And I gotta rush to enjoy it. Unlike Mumbai, rain here, stays for around 148 seconds and then makes the next appearance in 5 days. Off to get wet. Au revoir!


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Sweat on the dance floor...

My laptop watch shows me a time of 4:33. In the morning. I have decided to call 4:33 morning, since the birds think its morning. They start making all these chirping sounds after 4. Its a pity that I have to base my inferences on birds, but then thats how life is...

Firstly, I apologize to everyone whom I had promised that I will be online on the time(you know who you are). I has grossly miscalculated the stress of this course that I have undertaken here at MDI. I use the word 'undertaken' in the same vein as 'undertaker'. Because its killing me, but I want to 'undetake' it before it undertakes me. Dude, its 4 in the morning, you wont get better quotes than these.

Anyway, to demonstrate the point that we are damn busy, let me drive home a few pointers. Know how MBA students whine about how less time they have and stuff (sissies). Well digest this - These guys have 14 lectures per week(IIMs included). The course that we have, makes us face 27 lectures per week! Thats double of what all other courses in India attend. And they still dont have time! Just imagine what must we be going through! You cant imagine stuff till you actually do stuff - Here I will take you through with the kinda choices I have to make nowadays -

1. Should I cut my nails or read that article the Prof asked to read?
2. Should I go to the cooler to drink water or should I research for that Presentation due tomorrow?
3. Do I study for tomorrow's quiz or do I beat Shantanu's ass at TT(Shantanu, if you are reading this, its my blog and I can write whatever I want, I can make myself look good. Come to think of it, that is the only reason I started writing a blog. Wanna tell your side of the story, get your own blog.)
4. Should I take a bath or write a blogpost?

So whenever you see a post updated here, you know...

I am sure you have got my point. So coming to the other nitty gritties of the program. Its an International Management course. Now this is truly International and one of a kind in the country. In this course we study at MDI for a year and then go to Berlin/Paris for an year. No prizes for guessing that I will be going to Berlin this March. The only other country I would like to be in after India is Germany. I have always had this strange liking for Germany and its people.

Btw, forgot to tell you, since mine is an International course, there are a few firangs who will be joining the class. We have been assigned buddies. Infact I met my buddy today. A German guy. Damn cool. Not as cool as me though. Not his mistake, no ones as cool as me. I dont understand why you are still reading the post. Anyway, I was saying hes pretty cool and knows a lot about India and Indian history. We are waiting for the rest of the foreign batch to come in. Especially the French and German girls. The guys back home must be hating me right now. Saalon, thoda CAT padh lete, you could have been here. And I would be back home. Still sleeping for 10 hours a day. Its because of dumbasses like you that guys like me have to abandon a near perfect life and come to a place where sleeping for 5 hours is a luxury.

Coming back to the to the topic (if there was any), the question remains, why dont I bunk lectures. After all I am no Rahul Bhat! My previous records will show that I have not attended more than 30% lectures in any semester. So why this sudden transformation??
I will tell you why! The Profs here are damn Good (with a capital G). There is this guy who teaches IAS guys some stuff, then there is this Public policy guy has worked with a nobel laureate, then this guy who was appointed by the president of India to head a company... I can go on and on... The way of teaching is excellent. Student particiapation is encouraged. Never ever have I found the Prof not being able to answer my question.. The bottom line being, they are super cool. Also our classroom is eye-candy. I almost love it as much I love my terrace hostel room. The guys here are real nice. Intially it took me a lot of time to make friends, it usually does take time for me, but here it was more than usual, maybe the cultural difference or stuff. But anyway, I am great friends with most of them now, and inspite of the militant schedule we try to have fun.

Fun se yaad aya, we had a party today. It was a thanksgiving party. We thanked our seniors for all they had done for us, and what better way than to host a party for them. It was quite a party. After so many days I had coke today. The soft drink, I mean. Hehehe. Please laugh, its late and thats the best I could come up with. My only problem was with the DJ. So many of mainu-tainu punjabi songs yaar. He must have played Kala Chasma (dont give the importance to the video) around 6 times. I mean, its a good song, but 6 times! And the problem is, had he played it for the 7th times the guys would have still danced crazy! The dance btw has to be bhangra. That is the only dance form allowed. But its pretty easy this bhangra thingy. You should have you hands raised with your index finger pointing towards the sky. Thats it! By the end of the night, even our German classmate had learnt to dance bhangra-istyle.

There are a few French students on the campus too, you should see them dance man! I mean, sometimes even I dont understand what the punjabi song means, but look at these guys yaar, they keep gyrating at anything. Its like me dancing to French tunes!

Anyway, the point being Indians rock, and so do the Europeans, not as much as we do, but we are teaching them, and they should get there before they leave.

One last thing before I wind up, I have to get up early tomorrow, I have a lecture. I know tommorow is a Sunday. But aint got no holiday. Infact, I havent had a holiday since the last 15 days. So why dont I go sleep? Well, I thought I had already enjoyed so much in a night, why not jot it down while it is all fresh.

Anyway, the sky is turning blue as I write this. The posts in the future will be shorter and crisper and more frequent(hopefully) in the future.

Till then guys, take care and have fun.
Sweat on the dance floor...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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3 Delhi guys and a Washing machine

Its been 2 full weeks in Gurgaon now. I have found this place very different compared to aamchi mumbai. Like-
Half of the batch is from saddi Delhi. Every fourth guy's surname is Gupta. Reebok is a bigger brand than nike. Amul makes 50% of its sales in this part of the country!

I have also noted a behavioural difference in the Delhi guys here(kya MBA ki tarah baat kar raha hoon na!). They are kinda dependent on their parents. And parents dont really mind it. Need a tie, call the dad, he will send a tie in his car. Need washing powder, call your mom, she sends it in her car. I sometimes envy the kinda life these guys live. In Mumbai, most kids dont live such a protective life. Though Mumbai makes us independent, it in some ways reduces the length of one's childhood. Anyway, enough gyan. The point is that this is a timepass blog and things which make us think are not allowed here.


So back to the topic- Here at MDI we have washing machines at every floor of the hostel. I wash my clothes every Sunday in the washing machine. (However, I take a bath everyday!)

This is something that I overheard near the washing machine... This is how the story goes -

http://happyhomemaker88.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/washing-machine.jpg
There were 3 Delhi guys trying to wash their clothes in the washing machine. They surrounded the machine like surgeons surround a patient on an operating table. If three delhi guys are friends, one of them has to be a sardarji... else they call it a foul!

So these guys, 2 guys and a sardarji, had surrounded the washing machine with washing powder and bucket full of clothes, wondering how to start the thing. The dialogue is given below. I have kept it in hindi to maintain the fun quotient of the whole thing.

The funny thing here is that, all of these guys had washing machines at their homes but had never operated it!! I mean how lazy can you get? My brother Aroop is the laziest guy I know and even he knows how to operate the washing machine! (Taking digs at your cousin through your blog : Priceless!)


Delhi guy 1: Oye yeh chalti kaise hai?

Delhi guy 2: Arre yaar.. Mumma ko fone karke poochna padega...

Delhi guy 3: (with supreme confidence) Arre bahut aasan cheez hai bey yeh.. load na le..

DG1: aacha? Kya karna hota hai?

DG3: Bas machine khol ke kapde ghused do!

DG2: (Pointing to the knobs on the washing machine) Abbey yeh knobs ka kya karen? Kaunsa ghumana hota hai?

DG3: Abbe woh nahi patah. Mumma ko sirf kapde ghusedte hue dekha tha..

DG1: Abbe wohi toh important hai!

Chal mumma ko call karta hoon...

Hello mumma? Yeh washing machine kaise chalate hain? Aacha? Knob ghuma doon? Light load? Delicate? Haan haan.. Yahan likha hai! Thik hai.. Thik.. Thik.. Okay.. OOokay..

(With a sigh of relief and a proud smile on his face) Chalo bhai, kaam ho gaya. Yeh knob ghumana hai.

Lo, ghuma diya..

Abbe chalu kyun nahi ho rahi?

Yeh doosra knob bhi toh hai?

Yeh toh temperature hai... Pani garam karta hai...

Garam pani? Kyun?

Patah nahi yaar.. Kapde aache saaf hote honge.

Chalo garam kardo bilkul.. 70 pe chala do..

Yaar ab bhi chalu nahi ho rahi..

Phir se call lagaon?

Hello mumma? Chalo nahi ho rahi hai? Haan? kiya. Haan? Woh bhi kiya. Nahi chalu ho rahi hai.. Accha phuphi(Aunt) ko conference mein le le?(Seems like Phuphiji was more tech savvy than mom) Hello phuphiji? Washing machine nahi chalu ho rahi... Haan.. Haan.. Mumma ek second, phuphi ko bol lene do na.. Haan kiya.. phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.. Accha thik hai dekh leta hoon...

Kya hua? Kuch patah chala?

Nahi yaar. Sab kuch toh theek kiya hai. Phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.

Oye teri koi girlfriend hai? Usko call karke pooch liyo yaar...

Abbe? Washing machine chalane ke liye girlfriend ko call karun? Thik hai karta hoon.. Marwaoge tum log..
Hello sweetie, ki haal chal? Haan bas thik hai.. haan bas chal raha hai.. yahan ki bandiyan(girls) utne aachi nahi hai yaar.. arre nahi karunga flirt.. haan.. promise.. arre woh sab chod, mujhe bata tujhe washing machine chalane aati hai? Arre yaar engineer toh hoon, lekin washing machine kabhi chalayi nahi na.. Mazak mat kar yaar, batana, aati hai? haan.. haan.. okay.. okay.. thik hai.. chal try karke dekhta hoon... haan haan.. me too...me too.. friends hai yaar paas mein... haan yaar, flirt nahi karunga.. bye.

Kya boli?

Arre wohi jo teri phuphi boli..

Toh saale itni der kya baat kar raha tha?

Abbe ab tere kapdon ke chakkar mein kudi se bhi baat na karun?

Arre gussa na ho yaar, mazak kar raha tha...

Yahan pe machine chal nahi rahi hai aur tum log pagalpanti kar rahe ho yaar..

Arre aise kaise nahi chalegi.. Kuch toh gadbad hai..

Oye, yeh button kis liye hai? Daba ke dekhun?

Haan haan.. dabade

Sambhaliyo..

Oye teri.. yeh toh batti jal gayi...

Abbe yaar.. yeh toh start button tha.. gadhe pehle nahi daba sakta tha...

Abbe phuphi ne yeh nahi bataya tujhe, ki start bhi karni hoti hai?

Teri girlfriend ne nahi bataya tujhe? Wahan toh - me too.. me too.. chal raha tha..

Abbe kyun jhagad rahe ho yaar! Shuru ho gayi na machine. Bas.

Haan yaar.. shuru toh ho gayi.. Dekh kaise ghum rahi hai!

Haan yaar... badhiya saaf ho jaayenge kapde...

chalo ab kuch parathe-sharathe khatein hain..


They returned back after an hour to see that the machine was still on. They came back after one and a half and the machine was still working. I dunno what setting had they set the machine on, but it kept working for 6 hours! Last heard, they were calling the women of the house to ask how to turn off the Washing machine!!


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MDI, Gurgaon : Military training

Hello ji!
So you might have noticed the temperature has gone down in Mumbai. If you are wondering why is that, well, thats coz I have now left Mumbai. I am now in Gurgaon (which explains the heat wave here). Btw, for Mumbaikars who think everything to the north of Mumbai is UP-Bihar, well, Gurgaon is near Delhi.
So last week was my induction week at MDI, gurgaon. More on that later, but first, let me make fun of Delhi guys. Like for instance, they even talk English with a Punjabi accent- Thank you becomes Thank you ji, Sorry becomes Sorryji and Hello becomes Hello ji! Hence the change in my way of greeting you guys.
I have begun soaking the Delhi atmosphere in me. Like I have developed a special liking for Gobi ka paratha. Did you know Gobi ka paratha constitutes 2 % of Delhi's GDP? And you should see how much butter they eat here. Its almost like butter is the main dish, parathe toh galti se plate mein aa gaye.
Now back to the induction week. I will not discuss the details of the induction week else the coming batches wont enjoy it that much. The past week has been, er.. like a military camp, only worse.. guys usually sleep around 2-3 hours everynight. In order to give you a rough idea about things, let me ask you - Have you seen that Nana Patekar movie - Prahar, where he plays a commando? Dekhi hai? accha hai.. accha hai..
Know how he tortures the interns? Well, that is cakewalk in front of what we do! I say, if we continue doing this for 3 more weeks, I will be well prepared to take down the Al-quaeda or whtever is the most dangerous terrorist organisation in the world.

Coming to less dangerous stuff, I got my room, as in, at the hostel. The IDPL hostel that I am at are beautiful. There are two hostels, the on campus and the idpl cma, which is around 5 kms from the MDI campus. The idpl cma hostels are bunglows each having 7 rooms each. I have a lovely single room, with an attached bathroom and the door of my room opens directly on to the terrace. That however isnt necessarily a good thing. Its super hot here (you know why) and my room heats up like a furnace sometimes. I hope the heat reduces in days to come.
Anyway, coming to the sweeter aspects of my hostel, we have monkeys here(dunno why that is sweet). No no, I dont mean the students, I mean ReaL monkeys, with tails and red asses and stuff... And we have peacocks here! You can get real close to them, trust me mate, there are fewer sights prettier than watching a peacock up close.
I am in love with the MDI campus btw. Its 40 acres of pure bliss. Manicured lawns, pretty red buildings, the works, you know. Sometimes I wish I was a campus too and I would woo MDI and she would fall in love with me and then we would give birth to 4-5 small small campuses... Ah.. such a beautiful thought... Okay, this got out of hand here.

Anyway, moving to the topic why my desperate engineering friends are here. Girls.
This is what my friends had to tell me about Delhi girls before I departed for MDI.
Male Friend 1: Abbe wahan ladkiyaan sahi hoti hai yaar...
Male Friend 2: Haan be.. all gori-gori..
Me: Tumlogko ke khandan mein koi Dahisar ke aage nahi gaya, delhi ki ladkiyon ke bare mein tumlogon ko kaise malum saalon?
Male Friend 1: Abbe mera roomie hai na, uske best friend ke friend ki girl friend Delhi ki hai..
Male friend 2: Arre haan.. sahi hai woh..
Male friend 1: (to MF2) tereko kaise malum bey, tu kab mila usse?
Male Friend 2: nahi mila, lekin tere bolne se lagta hai sahi hogi..

This is what my female friends had to say about them.
Female friend 1: Delhi jaa raha hai unke Ladkiyon se bach ke rehna.
Female friend 2: Haan. Keep away from them haan.
Me: Dont worry ladies, I will come back untouched and then you can have me.
Punches thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, talking about the Delhi girls (the guys are waiting with bated breath). Well, they are good looking. No two ways about it. Everytime I look at them, I wonder - Where does all that butter go?! Another point noted is that they are quite free, they are in essence no different than Delhi boys, only they are better looking.
We had a freshers party the night before, I dont drink and also wasnt well, so I went to sleep around 11. There is a bus that takes us from MDI to IDPL, it was scheduled to leave around 3 in the morning, so I went to sleep in a friend's room. By 3 I came down to the party scene, the party was still alive. The DJ was real good, the only problem being he would play songs with the words - "soniye" "tainu" "mainu", you know, the usual panju stuff...
As I entered the dance floor, I saw all this girls dancing in 6 inch heels or whatever they call them. I swear to God, if I tried, I wont be able to walk in them, and these girls were dancing! We have quite a few firangs on the campus and there was this girl with blonde hair who seemed to be suffering from an overdose of Bollywood and movies like Singh is king. She had all the steps in place. I have never felt more sorry for my inability to dance.
I wanted to have a look at how a professional bar looks like so I came up to the bar where there was this huge haryanvi bartender who was drinking himself than serving others. I came to the bar and started looking around, reading the contents written on the bottle.

Haryanvi bartender : Nahi nahi.. tujhe nahi peeni.. tu abhi aaya hai(he must have guessed looking at my relatively sweatless face) tu pehle dance ker ke aa phir milegi..
Me: Lekin..
HB: Oyeee.. bhains nahi karni... chal ja..
What the? Who was this guy? But I didnt want the drink, and I was kinda sleepy so dancing was out of question. But I had a gulp of pepsi, since I didnt want to come out saying tht I didnt "drink".
One thing that I notice about Delhi girls is that how much they are ease with their sexuality. Sometimes, to someguy from outside this place, these girls might come across as bold. Though I find them extremely cute and colourful, I will always fall for the subtle sexuality of a Bombay girl. The balance that she achieves, coupling class and style, will always be the draw for me.
So the good news is, all you Bombay girls who have been secretly falling in love with me, hiding behind trees to get a glimpse of me, watching mere mortals like Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig on Dvd since I am gone, have heart, I will be back!

That is enough for now I guess, I am at the end of my break now. I have a French class in around 20 minutes. So Au Revoir(abhi tak itna hi seekha hai) my friends. Keep checking this space, will be posting frequently from now on. MDI, Gurgaon : Military trainingSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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Why does it rain?

Short story.

They lay on the terrace floor, watching the skies darken with rain-laden dark clouds. The Sun had been on a vacation since the last few days, the clouds had taken over.

"Why does it rain?" She asked, looking at the dark brown evening sky, which was darkening by the minute.
"You see, the south-west monsoon winds bring in water vapour from the Arabian Sea, it condenses.."
"You are such an engineer re," she cut him in between.

The thing with girls is, that they expect us to know when to be scientific and when to be romantic. He kept quiet, thinking what to say. The soft din of the vehicles on the road below filled up the silence. The problem with living in the city is, you never get to experience complete silence.

"He loves her," he says out of the blue.
"huh?"
"You asked me why it rains, didnt you? It rains coz he loves her."
"He?"

"The cloud. He loves the earth."
"Oh. But then, where was he till now? I mean, why didnt it rain in the summer?" she asks innocently.
"He was always there. He was here since the earth was here. In fact, the earth was made because of him. The earth gave us life, but the cloud gave her life. And for that, she loves him. At the end of monsoon he leaves her for the cycle of life to continue, that is why you dont find him here in the winter and the summer."
"Ah.. I see."

The wind starts blowing, starts playing with her hair. She tries to fight the wind, unsuccessfully.

"When the cloud comes to meet the earth, he roars with happiness. Hence the lightening. And when he reaches her, he showers her with love. Hence the rain."
"Hmm. I get it."

She keeps looking at the darkening clouds, which have now started roaring. Then she looks at him, into his eyes and says -
"You know what I love?"
"What?" He asks with a hoarse voice, a voice which is expectant.
She smiles mischievously.
"I love the smell of soil when it rains."

He relaxes again, knowing he is not going to hear his name in any sentence related to love yet.
"I love it too," he says. "But I love something else too," he says looking at her.

She avoids his gaze, tries to fill up the awkward silence with words...fails miserably.

"Why does he have to leave her?" She asks.
"Told you na, it's the cycle of life. That time spent without each other, strengthen their love for each other."
"I don't know. I don't want them to separate."She almost starts to cry.
"You would want rain all through the year?"
She remains quiet.
"Do you realise you will never be able to smell the first rains again? There might never be a first rain in the first place."

She keeps staring at the dark clouds which fill up the whole sky. The lightening flashes every now and then, illuminating her face, making her look prettier than she already is.

"Do you have to go then?" She asks in a voice that tells you shes having a tough time holding herself together.
"I am afraid I have to. I will be back before you know it."
"I will be waiting."

She places her head on his chest. He has the world. Her tears cant be held back. The skies crack up.
It starts to rain.



PS- I will be leaving Mumbai in 4 days to pursue my MBA.
It is pouring outside, as I write this.
Please listen to this song, as you read the post. It gives you a heady feeling. Why does it rain?SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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Are you hungry?
Do you wonder how they make such yummy pizzas in Pizza Hut?
Do you want to try making the same yummy pizzas at home?
Do you think I am awesome?

If the answers to the above questions are in the affirmative, kindly read Pizza hut's secret recipe to making fluffy yummy mouthwatering pizzas.

Since this is cooking for Engineers, we will follow no measurements. As in, you wont hear me saying add 1 tablespoon of this or 2 teaspoon of that. Tablespoon and teaspoon is such a firangi concept. We will make use of desi concepts like - ek muthi bhar namak lijiye and stuff [Note: ek muthi bhar namak is not recommended unless you are cooking for an army and a half.]. Okay that was a joke, no recipe is complete without a little firangigiri.

If men are reading this, let me tell you that cooking can be quite a turn-on for women. If you are an engineer and dont have women around(which in all probability you dont) then refrain from cooking this meal, else you'll end up turning-on your room-mates.

For girls reading this, I know what you are thinking - He's funny, he's hot and he even cooks! Can I add him on orkut? Can I get his number? Where does he stay?
I say, all those questions will be answered, but first, let us deal with the recipe.

Dough:
4 cups flour(maida)
1 cup warm water.
dry yeast(half pack will do that is around 1 tablespoon)
2 tablespoons oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar

Put yeast, sugar, salt in a large bowl. Add water and stir to mix well. Allow to sit for two minutes. Add oil and stir again.

Add flour and stir until dough forms, make sure the dough is not too sticky. Knead like the dough is your boss. Throw in a few punches for good measure. After you are done, cover the bowl with a plate and keep it around some warm place (usually around the gas stove or near Salma Hayek, if she's around.)

Watch TV till the dough rises. After 15 minutes, return to the kitchen. Take out a ball of dough. and make it a perfect round with your hands. Take the microwave pan and pat some dry flour on it, so that the dough ball doesnt stick on it. Now make a thin circular base using your hands. Part one done. Pat yourself on the back. Enough. Now let us move on to the toppings.


Toppings:
Mozzarella cheese
Tomato sauce
Onion
Capsicum
Tomato
Mushroom

Pour generous amounts of tomato sauce and spread it evenly. [Actually PH guys make that sauce in-house, but we are lazy guys, so we will outsource it]. Spread finely shredded Mozzarella cheese all over the base. Now choose your toppings - I am a vegetarian, so I use fine cut capsicum, onion, tomato and mushroom. Place everything on the base. Take a lot of cheese and spread it evenly on the toppings. Remember that sticky threads of cheese they show on Tv? This is how they make it. Pour some olive oil(or any other oil, we are not that fussy, you see!). Once done, pat yourself on back again. Part two done. You are the king of the world! Get down the Titanic now. Let us proceed to the simplest and the most interesting part, interesting because you can go sit watch TV for most of it


Baking-
Pre set the oven(on convection) at 240 deg Celsius. Put in the pan, set the timer to 9 minutes. Go watch TV. Come back after 9 minutes, remove the pan, careful! Its hot! Transfer the contents to a plate, cut into 6 slices, or cut into 4 slices if you think 6 slices is too much.
Part 3 done! Congratulations! The pizza is mouth wateringly yours. Dont forget to share the pizza with the people around you.



Courtesy: Me. Pardon the messy presentation, it tastes heavenly.


[Note 1: If you are sharing the pizza with your family members, friends, girlfriends, dont make the same mistake that I made, do NOT charge them, else you will end up with a black eye.
Note 2: Under no circumstances do you ask your sister/mother/girlfriend to clean up the mess in the kitchen. Else you will end up with two black eyes.]
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Yours is here: Dell Inspiron 1545

Its finally here! The day all of you have been waiting for. Okay, not you, but the day I was waiting for. After seven days (working days) of sleepless nights, my wildchild is here. The Dell Inspiron 1545. For guys who would like to buy something similar, here's the configuration and the price-



Processor: T6400(2.0 Ghz/ 800 Mhz/ 2Mb Cache)
Ram: 3 Gb
Hard disk: 250 Gb
Graphic card: 4500MHD Media accelator (32Mb)
Screen size: 15.6"
Bluetooth: Yes
Card Reader: Yes
Web cam: Yes
Wi-Fi: Yes
Colour: Red (Matt finish)
Price: Rs. 35,800 (Landing price) [Got a small discount]

Now that I have bored you enough, let me bore you a little more. Let me explain to you each and every term that I mentioned above.

Now, had I been yapping infront of a live audience, most of them would be asleep by now, but thats the real beauty of blogspot, I cant see you, so I can yap my way to glory. The last time I tried explaining stuff to my sister, she got so annoyed that she locked me up in the spare bathroom(we have a huge house). I was in there for 3 days. I lost 5 kgs and my biceps are now 26" down from the usual 28".
On second thoughts, I think, I shouldnt be taking the risk of explaining to you guys the basics of computers, simply coz, I have a lot of female readers(all 3 of them), and they might end up doing to me what my sister did so successfully.

But I wish to share with you this incident that happened a few years ago. We- me and my college friend C- (on the rare days we attended college) were sitting in the computer lab in college.
C noticed that the PC's 80 Gb ram was full. Obviously, the official data, data as in Visual basic, C, C++ programs, excel sheets, word files etc was only 214Kb. There were around 50Gb of movies, 10Gb of episodes of 'Police chases gone wrong' and the rest were, well, hidden in the system 32 folder! Why hidden? If you are an engineer, then you know!

So C wanted to save this "important file"- 'comedy scenes from Marathi movies' on the drive. Personally, I dont see the need to watch comedy. Our college and professors provided generous offering of comedy. The file was around 1 Gb. "Disk full" popped up on the screen.

C: Abbe? Kya faltugiri hai! 80Gb hard disk bhi full ho gaya!
Arshat (Me): Aisa kya store kiya hai bey hard disk pe?
Check kar... Phir delete kar
Tere ko yeh comedy scenes kyun store karne ka hai lab PC pe?
Arre nahi toh bahut bore hota hai lab mein..
Already stored hai na movies, woh dekh...
Sab english movies hai... Aur ek bhi comedy movie nahi hai...
Hmm.. (Going through the Pc) Kitna movies hai bey!
50Gb ka movies hai
10 Gb ka Police chases hai
50+10=60. Baki 20 Gb kya hai?
Arre programs, word files, excel files... kaam kiya hoga public ne..
Pagal hai kya? Itna kaam? Yeh dekh 214Kb kaam kiya hai sirf.
Toh baki 20Gb kya hai?
Ruk, files hidden hai..
Yeh kya hai. Saale System 32 ka files hai.
Itna Gb nahi hai System 32.
We played the first "hidden" file.
Shit.. shittt... bannnd kar saaleeee..
Arre ruk na.. ruk na..
Abbe koi aayega toh..?
Arre computer lab hai! Kaun aata hai yahan pe?
Saaleeee... band kar...
Abbe apaan ne thodi load kiya hai yeh sab files... Chal tere liye window chota karke dekta hoon..
The door opened.
Banndd kar saaalleeee...
Saying that I turned the switch of the spike guard off.
The door opened. We feared the worst. What if someone had heard the sound of the hidden movie. The probability of that was low though, the lab was AC and a thick door quarantined the room.
A girl entered. Probably a senior. Maybe from computers. I take this guess coz they had many pretty girls in IT and computers.
Thampi Sir?
Umm.. no, he's not here.
What are you guys doing?
We are working.
But the computer is turned off.
We were going to turn it on.
She gave us a look of suspicion and left.
Chal fir se On karte hain
Shot mat de saale.
Projector connect karte hai kya?
Saaaleeee...

Ah.. lovely days those were. Wonder if they will ever come back. Sometimes I wonder if we should have connected the projector. What would be the maximum penalty if we were caught? Was it worth the risk? How would it be to watch it on a projector? I guess I will never find out.

Anyway, this post got really senti for all the wrong reasons, I meant to write this post to update you on my laptop status(Not tht you care or anything). I have shared so many things with you, thought should share this too!

I make it sound like I am getting married!

Update: Inspite of the gentleman that I am, I forgot to thank all my friends who helped me zero in on this laptop - Hiren aka Lamda, Rishikesh Bhise, Chaitanya Aathyle, Ameya Sohoni, Nupur.. Thank you guys. You rock :) Yours is here: Dell Inspiron 1545SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend
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23 letters to the editor