The TimePass of India

Yeah! I have found the way!
The way to stop the war tht might take place between India and Pakistan! Since both these countries have nuclear war heads,the losses could be enormous...
The answer to all this-DOG FIGHT!
Yeah,DOG FIGHT...


Both sides would be given five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to rule KASHMIR. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Pakistanis found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Himalayan wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were three inches thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the fight, the Indians showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Indians because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Pakistani dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Pakistani dog almost completely surrounded. When the Pakistani dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Pakistani dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Pakistani dog.

The Pakistanis came up to the Indians, shaking their heads in disbelief. `We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in the world and the biggest, meanest Himalayan wolves."

"That's nothing," an Indian replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an ALLIGATOR look like a Dachshund."

He He! ROTFL! Arshat has found the way!

7ISLANDS is a international film festival organised by S.P.JAIN(one of the
top B-schools in the country)
SPCE(my coll)and S.P.JAIN share the campus.Since I stay close to the
campus,and since I had nothin much to do,I decided to spend my time at SPJ...

The festival was scheduled from 26th to 30th Jan(frm 2pm to 10pm
everyday).But I attended the last two days only.

The best short films I saw at the festival are(detailed info about the films is available at www.bcca.in)

Baghdad ER,Kidnapped,Darfur Dairies(excellent),My country..My
country(Download/Buy this film),State of Fear,The return of paul
jarrett,Human remains(good),Two states of mind(I can pay for this film,The
best of the lot)...

7ISLANDS was really enriching experience,the next time,Book your seat! 7ISLANDS

Siddharth ashara aka sid aka Bhai(meant in the gujju sense) is ur usual
gujju...God damn witty,super memory,very funny,one of my best friends...
So,this is about him,about sid...
This guy has a 70% agg.,still found it difficult to get placed,tht too
in a coll called SPCE!!!(read the interview below and u will know why!)

Well,hes got placed in Reliance(is tht a surpise??)
His interview is what Adam Sandler movies are made of!!

Interviewer:Tell me somethin about yourself...
Sid: Hi! I am Siddharth...studing in blah blah..usual stuff...

Now the fun begins..

Interviewer:What does siddharth mean?
Sid:Gautam Buddha!
Int:Who was Buddha?
Sid:GOD!!
Int:How did he become God??
Sid:He did paschyatap(??)..no,no,he did tapasya...
Int:What is the diff bet nuclear reactor and nuc bomb
sid:I dont know...

after some more Tech ques...

Int:What all places have u visited in India?
sid:Kashmir..
Int:where in India,is kashmir
sid: Top pe!(??)
Int:where is punjab?
sid: Uske niche!(??)
Int:Where is U.P.?
sid: Uske niche...
Int: sab ek ke niche ek?? aaju-bajju mein kuch hai ki nahi???
Sid:Sir,aap sab ek ke niche ek pooch rahe ho!!


And guess what? Sid got selected!! Tht too along with Vinayak desai and
siddhant pawar(thes two r the gods of SP!)

I m guessing Sid is blood related to Dhirubhai...If not then the people
at RELIANCE are in LOVE with Siddharth Ashara... In love with Siddharth ashara...

Last few weeks have been the best weeks of my college life!
There may be many reasons for this new found enthusiasm in my life...
The most profound reason,I think,is the fact tht this is my last sem at SP...
After few weeks(12 to be precise)there will be no lectures...After about 17
weeks I would get my degree...B.E.(mech).
Seems like yesterday when I got admitted to SPCE.I remember the date too-20
oct 2003!

It was the 5th(last) round of admissions.I took the second-last seat(Hitesh
Joshi took the last of SP mech).I remember cracking jokes to lighten the
mood.Sid Ashara(he took the 3rd last seat) seemed indifferent to those
jokes,proably coz they were 'silly' as compared to his level!
I remember asking him wether he was a merit ranker coz he had a stiff upper
lip.I also felt that he was of the serious types!

I bonded better with sid than Hitesh inspite of the fact tht I n Hitesh knew each other for the last one month.

The next day,Sid reached coll before me(actually everyone reaches before
me...I m always late),I saw him sitting on the first bench! "God! this dude
is really sincere," I thought to myself!

I cudnt be wronger(if there is a word like tht)...Next day he shifted to the second bench,then to the third!Kept shifting till we reached the last bench!
Tht last bench became our fav place..We liked the last bench more than we
liked the canteen..

I never really liked coll...U dont like coll when u hav to travel 4 hrs
everyday.The lectures,assignments,tutorials etc.make sure you curb your
enthusiasm...
The lectures were kinda funny though,Sid cracking jokes at every lecturers
expense..!
I believe tht 20yrs from now,I am still going to remember these pieces of
Nostalgia!


Life is full of experiences,isnt it? Good or Bad they add on to your
nostalgia,slowly but surely! Nostalgia!

Before u get the feelin tht i m a movie maniac,let me tell u the state of affairs I m in!
I have rented a 1 BHK flat in andheri...All this to reduce the travelling time....But this amounts to no Tv(coz theres no TV at the flat)!
For a self confessed TV(read sitcoms) freak this is not exactly Neverland!.
How,then,do I vent out my frustation when I come home(thts every fri-sat-sun)..By watching loads of TV right? Wrong!!

My sis is in the 12th,there seems some unwritten rule in my house tht whenever theres a board exam,the cable will be dissconnected...So its no cable for me for the last 6 months...

I can only go for movies...So here I am watching movies,left,right and centre...

Yesterday it was Salaam-e-Ishq...
Big names,Bigger starcast...
Instead of telling u who was in the movie,I think it would be easier to mention those who wasnt there..here goes..

SRK was not there,Preity was busy sweeping Bandra so she wasnt there,Rani,Aamir,Hritik werent there,Sanjubaba,ash,John..oh wait,I think John was there...

51/2 love stories(1/2 coz sohail-Isha story cant be counting as 1)...One ending(thank god!)

The best performances come from unexpected shores(literally..South Africa in this case)..(Shannon Esra is from SA)

The Govinda-Shannon Esra(the gori mem in the mov.. ) track could have been developed into a seperate movie...Shannon is proably the best foreign actor to have acted in Bolly(if u dont count manisha koirala as foreign)

Khanna did what he does best...ie flash his awkward smile.How does he smile like tht?
Ayesha is her usual cuteself...

Anil and Juhi did not try much...
Salman and Priyanka overtried...Sallubhai has an accent even while he speaks Hindi?! (Rahul becomes-Raool..what the @#$!)

John and vidya cry..John cries in the first half(and in the second half).Vidya cries in the second half only(coz she is in comma in the 1st
half)

Did I miss someone??

I dont think so!

Oh yeah there is Tinu Anand as priyanka's manager..n Karan Johar's voiceover is also there..

And,ofcourse there is sohail-isha pair(I almost forgot!)They provide some much needed comic relief..

MY VERDICT: Atleast one story will appeal to you...
Its best if u watch it with your group of friends...
Note tht your group should consists of 6 guys...Even 5 guys will do(coz sohail is non existent) Also the ages of the guys should vary...like->25,31,33,40,46...I suggest u wait till u find a group like this!!

[PS:I get the feeling tht is movie is copied from DARNA MANA HAI(rem?),6 stories 1 ending...Salman-priyanka track also seems copied
frm DMH(coz its a nightmare)] Salaam-e-Ishq

This is a incomplete list of the lingo that we spceians use!U can ADD ur own in the Comments

MAAF
ORIGIN: Hindi language
MEANING: Literal meaning is - to forgive… Actual meaning depends on
the usage…
EXAMPLES:
*Lecture maaf karte hain?? => shud we bunk the lecture?

Meaning also depends on the user…for eg:
Gavrav: Big show ka assign kiya?
Rahul bhat: maaf=>I tried but did not get the ans
Chetan: maaf=>I saw the ques but did not try.
Apte: maaf=>Submission next week..7 days to go..lot of time to complete
Arshat: maaf=> What assign is he talking about??! Never heard bout it!!


HAGA
ORIGIN: Hindi lang. (Origin goes back to 1896 when the first railway tracks were laid in mumbai)
MEANING: U Shud know!!
EXAMPLES:
Akash: main ek joke bolu?
Abhijit: haga!
Akash: arre pehle sun toh!
Abhijit: haga!
Akash: ………
Abhijit: haga!!!



SHOT MAT DE
ORIGIN: Hinglish(origin dates back to the birth of Himesh Reshmaiya)
MEANING: Difficult to put in words… it shud be felt…
EXAMPLES:
Gala: Bhai!
Sid: shot mat de saale!
Arshat: Sid!
Sid: shot mat de saale!
Abhijit: Bhai!
Sid: shot mat de saale!+ ganda joke marna bannd kar!



The above doc is subjected to copyright law SPCE Lingo!

Pushkar sheth is my senior! Senior in Programming,Blogging and evrythin tht has got an iota of relevance to computers!
Actually we are in the same class(SPCE BE mech)...nvr got to know him much...
It was really sweet of him to help me out with my blogpage...He suggested I change my Template(coz the last one was really goddy),also helped me out with some other technicalities..
Thanks man!
(Check him out...he is on my blog roll) Thanks Pushkar!

This post is for the people who do not believe in curse! I was one of them...
So this is how it goes...
On 26/7/2006,I set out to conquer(read travel) the local trains.I do this everyday of college,so this is not new.But tht fateful day i travelled in the second class compartment instead of the usual first class...This change of mind was brought about due to the expiry of my 1st class pass...
Also the 2nd class seemed fairly empty(empty,here is a relative term).But then,in a flash,out of nowhere, a group of 15 people mobbed me as I was trying to get in the compartment...
When I got in,i realised tht my 6630 was missing/stolen.This piece costs a good 12000 rupees.So u can understand the situation I was in...

Before i turn to the scary part,let me introduce u to my BE project group-
Deepak,chetan gosavi(have already posted bout his anctics),umesh(will be posting bout his anctics),and me.

I was the butt of all the jokes tht week(as is the norm),with chetan and umesh leading the charge!Little did they know what fate had in store for them.

2 months ago Chetan's mobile was stolen in a style similar to mine!
2 weeks ago umesh's mp4 player and his wallet got stolen under mysterious circumstances...(note tht all the materials were stolen and not lost!)

The only guy now left untouched by this curse is Deepak(the fourth member of our group).I guess he is already feeling the heat! I m sure he is acting extra careful while travelling!

Also note tht 26/7/2005 was the day when half of mumbai was under water(subject of a seperate post)[As would say"AIN'T SCARED YET??"]

[P.S. Either this is scary or I have really careless friends] Arshat chaudhary and the curse of the theif!(corny!)

This is not a repost...I saw guru yesterday(for the second time)...Its not tht i am a mani fan or anything..Its just tht my family hadnt seen the mov and I had nothing else to do! I just went there for the heck of it.
What makes guru so gripping and realistic,is the use of Hand held Camera(pls note)
And guess what? I still cudnt make sense of the songs!! AR rahman tried his best to make a string of (meaningless)words sound melodious,but Gulzarji screwed him up!
How cud u use the words"yeole yeole re yeole yeole oo" in a hindi song?
However there is one gazal in this movie which really seduces the senses...now this is the sort of stuff Gulzar is good in!
Maniji,if u stick to Gulzar...make sure Gulzar sticks to urdu!

On the subject of songs,try this song-"Welcome to India"-by ludakrishnan and vikram MC u will ROTFL GURU @ Mulund

India won yesterdays match...Sourav scripting the fairytale win
The irony here is tht this is the very pitch where sourav was accused of shunning his responsibilities as a batsman.The mood here at my college(sardar patel coll of engg.)is upbeat...The very people who wanted sourav dead are praising him...I guess this is how it is...

People support u only when u provide them entertainment,when u fail to do so,they will leave u,stranded...
This proably is the psyche of the mortals...They want a hero whom they can worship..they treat these heroes as gods...and when these "gods" fail they have to bear the brunt of public fury...

Enough of this lecturebaazi...I hav to get out of this comp lab...

Rane sir has asked me to help him with this presentation about SCM..
Arshat to the rescue...Up! Up! and away!! We won!

what i like about WI?
no,not lara,nor do i like his indian girlfriends...
I dont lik huge swingin shoulders...
I dont lik sarwan or chandrapaul...
then what do i lik about them??

The commentator tht accompanys them...Michael hOOlding...The guy's got the voice most defence services in the world would like to recruit...
+lus he is a cricker-commentator who really gets involved in the game.He is like WI's 12th player in the commentory box...

Once i was watching this match vs WI,they really did badly,they were 7 wickets down and they required
to chase a huge total...This no.8 hit a four and i heard a voice frm the back of the comm box-"A BOONDARY"...
It was a West Indian voice...! What I like about WI

Kyunki FIGHTER hameshaa jeetta hai...
javed akhtar...(reynolds jetter ad)

Sovrav(or sourab..as mamta baneerji calls him..) is this blogs fav cricketer.
The man has been thru a lot of shit...was stripped off his captaincy not only in tests but also
in ODIs..was not given entry into the team...imagine the country's most successful captain,not given a place in the 11. Forget a place in the team,the least they cud hav done was to give him a decent farewell.
But no! they decided to humilate the guy! This blogger agrees tht there was a time when he wanted sourav to hang up his boots...(to save him frm the humilation)

Ganguly,howevr had diff plans...did well at the domestic level,got into the national test team...(with help of lots of luck...read end of More's term and india's poor run in SA)...


His meeting with tht sissy More was interesting...all Dada said was"U had to do your job...I had to do mine"
A sign of a man who has been annealed in the furnace of life...


Today he wears the BLUE jersey after 15 months...

Today the man will Open against WI...This is the position where he has made most of his runs...
Also he hinted tht we might jus win this one...
Dada might hav something up his sack...
make no mistake...DADA's BACK... Dada's back

Since I was a kid,i hav heard people comparing him with apna tendlya...
Why the heck?? They say lara has got a better technique,better stance,better blah..blah..blah
Just 1 point,lara isnt half as graceful as tendlya...
Wonder what sachin feels about this comparison...

Last night I got to talk to these greats at dinner...This is how the conversation goes..

Sachin: U hav to be more graceful lara! You look "constipated" when u bat!
Lara: I kno maan! I m so afrai(d) of thes fas bowle an spi bowle ..i cant help it maan!
Sachin: Chaila!! U hav to Kick ASS! Look DOWN th barrel of a GUN! PEE in the WIND!
Lara: I tell u maan,if i look down the BARREL of a gun,i will be PEEing every which way!!

He He !ROTFL! tht was funny!! u shud hav been there!! What is it with Lara??

When you come to attend ur college frm mulund(this where i stay)to andheri(this is where my college stays)u tend to expect tht there will be atleast 3 lectures n 1 practical...
But when our GURU called it a day after only 1 lecture,we were disappointed.
However we decided to "invest" our time to watch GURU.
Why GURU?-coz we have a ash fanatic(Kunal Tikare) among us.So instead of blood diamond,it was GURU.

Now,andheri has its share of multiplexes,but i vowed not to watch any movie in a andheri multiplex,after i saw "Gayab"(yeah,the one with Ktussharr)at Fame.The hall was boxy,the screen small..so unlike R-adlabs at mulund..

Back to the topic,we choose the single theatre CHANDAN@JUHU...
Dont let the name fool u! this is not ur usual singluar...here tickets cost u a heavenly(compared to singulars)Rs.80. The audio system is proably better than most Adlabs i have been to..Another +lus is the fact tht the beach is close by!
We reached the place half an hr early,nd spent the half hr on the beach!

Now the movie...my verdict GOOD! The narrative is really good!So is the characterisation. Mani did not allow Ash to irritate us,by keepin her role to a min. But the songs SUCKED big time,no,not the music,but the lyrics!

Maniji? how do u expect Gulzarji to write Guju songs?The poor guy jus managed to pull it in B&B.But not here.It is xtremely difficult to decode the songs!!

Also the end is Unrealistic.We cud hav done wid a bolder end.Its too sugary!

But the songs-#@#! The person who can decode the songs(besides gulzarji)will get The audio CD of GURU(musicless version) frm myside... Guru @ Juhu

There really is something about chetan...(The chetan in question is my friend-CHETAN GOSAVI)

We all have tht little something...only difference is tht chetan is blessed with a lot of tht something..this something makes him endearing...With all the stupid decisions tht he takes,he shud be extinct by now...but someone up there finds him endearing,just like i do...


To illustrate tht he is popular with the Gods,let me quote some examples...

1.chetan crosses the railway tracks with a bicycle(he being seated on the seat of the cycle)and survives

2.he is involved in a accident involving a fiat and a bicycle,but somehow survives!

3.he jumps off a local train,and still(?) SURVIVES!!4.he gets placed in the company which pays him 4.66lacs??(proably the highest in class!)but this is just one side of him! He is xtremely hardworking too..(subject of another post) There is something about Chetan...

Well...had to start my own blog!

However,readers should note tht it will not be a Daily blog...The reason?-I m godamn lazy,maybe not godamn lazy,but just plain lazy!

So spurred by my fav blogger-gaurav sabnis,i ll plung into the blogger world.Bloggers of my region(mulund,thane,bhandup,ghatkopar) brace yourself...apun aa gaya hai!! My first post!