The TimePass of India

I remember that day. It was a Sunday or was it? When you have 25 lectures a week, you kinda lose track of time. I got a call in the morning. It must have been a Sunday, I think, coz I was fast asleep at 8 am. On weekdays, we leave our rooms by that time. I think it was Sulabh.

"Oye? Match hai! Ready ho ke aa ja."

"Huh? Match? aaj? Rohit hamessha Sunday ko hi matches kyun rakhta hai bey?"

You can understand my sense of frustation if you have slept for only 5 hours on average through the week and the only day that you get for yourself is taken up by a cricket match you are not even gonna win.

I exibit the kinda of pessimism coz we had already lost the first match. Infact, we had lost by a huge margin. We even gave away the bonus point. This team was team PGPM D.

Now let me give you a tour of my degree course at MDI. I am in the International Management course at MDI. The course is truly international coz I get to study at MDI for 1 year then for 1 year at Paris/Berlin campus. Its a dual degree course. I get one degree from MDI and the other from ESCP France/Germany. International management is by far the toughest course in the country.(This is my blog and I can say whatever I want) It has to be, coz we cover the same syllabus as other Bschools cover in 2 years in 1 year! The result - jam packed schedules, frequent exams, quizzes by the dozen, sleep deprivation and stuff. All programmes all over India have 14 lectures per week. We have 25! For me, IIM and Co are for sissies and little kids. Men come here.

The batch comprises of 30 students. 21 Indians and 9 Foreigners(No, they are not exchange students, they are actually a part of the batch)

Out of 21 Indians, we have 19 boys. So we effectively have like 19 members to make a team, in contrast to other teams who have around 60 guys.

So on this particular day, out of the 19 boys, 10 had left for their homes(cant blame them, they didnt know about the match). We had 9 guys on the campus, out of which a few werent too used to playing cricket. (Cumon, you dont get into MDI if you spend all your childhood playing cricket.. being a nerd pays, I tell you).

So we had 9 guys. But you obviously cant play with 9 players in cricket. You need 11. We searched and finally got hold of Philip, a German classmate who hadnt played cricket ever. But he jumped in and now we had a makeshift team of 10 guys against a team of 11 who beat PGPM D a few days ago.

To stay in the tournament we needed to win this match. Not only win it, we were supposed to win it comprehensively to earn the bonus point. We had to win with a bonus point with a team of 10 players out of which 3 were debutants!

As we entered the field, we started joking that we had great chance to win this. A nervous team always does that. I said to my team mate -

"What if we win today? With the bonus point...!"

"Yeah.. majja aayega na?"

"Main toh bacchon ko kahaniyaan sunaunga iss match ki"

"Kisske bacchon ko?"

"Apanne bachnon ko... unko toh sunni hi padengi na kahaniyaan"

"Oh.. I see.. majboori hai.."

"Saale... "

"We will win this match, then the next , then the semis"

"uske baad finals bhi"

"bas bhai, mazak mat kar"

"shuru kisne kiya?"

hehehheheehheheeh

But you know what? We won that match... with a bonus point! A small miracle of sorts!

We beat every team after that and kept advancing to the next rounds.

Today we had our finals!

We had our midterms till the afternoon. We give one exam ever month, its slowly turning into a hobby. In the evening, we had the match. I had slept for 3 and a half hours the night before. In fact, as I write this, in the last 48 hours, I have slept only for 3 and a half hours. I have no idea how I am I writing this.

A tired but upbeat team- tired beacuse of the numerous lectures we have to attend and the exams we have to give, upbeat coz we were slowly getting used to winning.

We were up against PGPM D. The team that we had lost our only match against. Their team was well rested. They had practiced all week long. We had given mid terms all week long.

We lost the toss and were put to bat. Rohit made sure things were on track right after a slow start. Everybody chipped in and we posted a humongous total of 143 in 15 overs. The total wasnt that humongous we realised later.

We were on to them in the starting over, only to be clobbered in the middle overs. They required 47 in the last 5 overs ith their best batsman on the crease. The last over required them to make 12. An easy task on this ground I would say. Thankfully the bowler and the fielders kept their cool to skew the run to ball ratio to 4 runs in the last ball.

As Ankur ran in to bowl the last bowl, I could sense that he knew we were gonna win this. A bowler has this intution - just before he leaps into his stride - it reveals all. The batsmen missed the ball.

I didnt count, but for like 3 seconds, we didnt celebrate. No yessss, no shouting, yelling etc. We just looked at each other to make sure that we had won. We had to make sure that the cherry on the cake was firmly in place. Small grins exploded into full blown celebrations. The team went beserk. Nobody knew what to do when you with the championships. I went on to grab a stump. I have seen cricketers do it on TV. Then you go hug your team-mates. It takes time to sink in - till someone says - "We are the champions!" And then it kicks in.. like a lightening jolt... Thats what we will be known as for the next one year - no one can take it away from us - WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

About the nervous-funny chat we had before that match, I asked that guy(you know who you are) if he remembered what we thought about winning the tournament a few weeks ago. He said he did. No one gave us a chance... not even us. But we all need our share of miracles to help us believe in ourselves. We got ours... and how!

About the sharing this story with my children, I sure intend to do that.

She was the perfect shy girl. The kind who hides behind her mother when guests come over... It was the first day of the first grade. I remember kids crying all around me. Some clung to their mothers, some threw tantrums. If I didnt know better, I would say they were going to whip us and make us work. But they didnt, actually compared to what I am doing now, those days were fun. Actually, compared to any days those days were fun.

She walked past me with her eyes fixed to the ground. Her bag was pink and so was her complexion. I love innocence. I guess all men do. I think we value it so much coz of our utter incapability to be innocent ourselves.

She went inside the classroom and took the first bench. I took the second. Right behind her. Then the teacher came and asked me to move to the last bench. I hate being tall. Apparently I was blocking the view of the blackboard for the guys sitting behind me. So I got up and took the last bench. And that was the end of that.

I strictly believe our choices dont change overtime. We like the same kind of people all our lives. If you dont agree, ask yourself who was your best friend in school and whos your best friend now(if both are the same guy, there are fewer people luckier than you), then try to analyse their qualities- you ll find that a lot of those qualities match.

I liked the same girl all my school life. People wonder when I tell them that I couldnt talk to her for almost all of primary school, except for the one time when we had an exam and I forgot a pencil. She was sitting three benches in front of me (the closest we had been till then). I got up from my seat and asked her for a pencil. She looked at me for around 4 seconds. Then quietly took out a pencil and gave it to me-

"This pencil writes very fast,"she said.

Then I didnt know why she said that. But years later she told me that she had seen my mother scold me for not being able to complete the paper on time.

Now dont translate this into love. She didnt love me then. Maybe she liked me. But not more than that. I think till girls dont reach puberty, the only people they can love is their parents. I, I loved her. Men can love at any age. Infact men can love anyone at any age, maybe they are more individualistic or stuff.

As we grew up, her liking for me increased. Or maybe it was just my imagination. But I found her glancing at me. She now tells me that she used to glance at me coz I used to keep staring at her! It would be impolite for her not to even glance. We men are idiots, we give it away.

As she grew, so did her curves. I would be lying if I said while looking at her my eyes or my mind didnt go astray. Puberty is such a gift. It suddenly gives losers like me, enough courage to say something that we have been wanting to say since like 7-8 years or something...

We were in the 8th grade I guess. I asked her to wait after school. Apparently I had some important stuff about Annual day that I had to discuss with her.

After school as I walked down the steps with her, I thought to myself - I can walk these steps all my life with her.

I held her hand, softly at first. She stopped but she didnt pull her hand away. Her eyes were fixed on the stairs. I thought of all the things I could say. You practise saying things in front of the mirror and stuff, but it just doesnt work. I thought of all the cool things I could say and then came up with this -

Really! I came up with that. I was so proud of myself. She looked at me, then held my hand firmly. I took that as a yes.

Years later she told me that that line was the lamest excuse to hold her hand. I pity all those guys whom I have suggested this line. No wonder all my male friends are single.

After our board exams, we made sure we gave the same entrance exams. Both of us wanted to get into engineering. She got better scores than me(like always) and chose Electronics in a top notch college. I managed to get in Computers in the third best college in the area. She cancelled her admission, much against the wishes of her parents to be with me. She gave up electronics and took up computers for me. Remember I told you a girl loves only after a certain age? I knew that she loved me then.

We gave the CAT last year. She again got a better score and made it in MDI HR in the first round. I was lucky to get in in the last round in the same class. But I got in. Thank God for that.

Today, sometimes, when we go to mess together for lunch, she walks beside me...her eyes fixed to the ground... I whisper something in her ear and she smiles.

Even today when I look at her, I sometimes still see the same innocent girl I had met on the first day of school. Here we are now- we attended the same school for 12 years, then went to the same engineering college in the same class and now are in the same class in MDI. God had a script written for us, didnt he? I love the fact that there is someone who knows me more than I know myself. I hope someday I get to know her, better than she knows me.

I find it amazing... shes the same girl who once offered me a fast pencil so that I could finish my paper on time and not get a scolding from my mother... and here she is walking next to me to the mess of our MBA college. We walk up the stairs to the first floor mess and I say -

And she bursts out laughing.

[Note: Long post]

[Note: Serious post]

[Recommended reading for CAT takers]

There are gonna be thousands of guys who will take the CAT(rated as among the most difficult exams on the planet) this year too. A few will score a super percentile. But a super-percentile, as I learnt later, doesnt guarantee you a seat in a college.

I will give a blow-by-blow account of how things worked and didnt work for me. In the process, I hope to inspire some of you (I know, tall order) and console the others.

I was disillusioned by the way engineering studies are counducted in our country. I had a quater-life crisis back then. I had secured a job with Siemens but I didnt know if I wanted to work. To be honest, I wanted to stay at home, watch movies, play cricket, do every damn thing that I wasnt able to do coz of my 4 years of engineering. Now engineering in Mumbai is a lot different from other parts of the country. Its real bad if u have to waste 4 hours of your day in travelling only to reach college to find the class being cancelled. It becomes even worse when you have been a straight A's student all your life and have to work your ass off to maintain high grades in engineering.

I played with the thought of joining siemens, then decided on not to only to change it on the night before the induction day. I am glad that I took that decesion. Its among the best decesions that I took.

After working for 9 months, getting up early everyday, spending a lot of time doing electrical shit(I am a mechie), I got bored and quit the job. Again, among the best decesions of my life.

I left the job around May. The next months till January, when the CAT results came, were among the best days of my life. I did almost everything I wanted- played cricket like crazy, slept like crazy, saw every sitcom I could get my hands on, in short, enjoyed life! One of my really close friends felt that it was among the most eventful year of my life. I agree mate!

May-June-July were mostly fun. One fine day it struck me - what do I do next? Maybe a part-time job - the kind that doesnt reqire me to get up early. How about a course in Film direction? I have always wanted to do that... If not now, then when? I am 22, when will I get the time in the future? If I have to, it has to be now, and it has to be from the best institute in the country.

I applied for FTII's direction course (Gods like Ashutosh Gowariker, Sanjay Leela Bhansali are the products of this college). At the same time I got a call for part-time teaching at Career Forum teaching CAT. While I was teaching, I gave the exam for FTII and got selected in the top 40. After the interview, I made it to the top 10 in the country, but that wasnt good enough. They took in the top 6 and that was the end of that.

Around August, I became serious about CAT. FTII was behind me, I didnt have a full-time job, I didnt have a plan B. That is when I pulled up my socks and started giving mock tests of every god damn coaching classes.

I gave the JMET, CAT, SNAP, MICAT(for MICA)... The colleges I had filled up were-

1. MDI, Gurgaon

2. IMT, Ghaziabad

3. SIBM, Pune

4. SCMHRD, Pune

5. MICA, Ahmedabad

6. SIIB, Pune

7. Welingkar, Mumbai

In that order of importance...

The first results that came in were in Jan were JMET. I logged on - You have not Qualified for the next round. Bad start. One out. But I wasnt too sad. Jmet is for the IITS and though I like IITs, I wouldnt wanna spend two years of my life there.

The next results were the biggie - CAT. I was extremely cool about the results. I remember, I checked it around 4 in the afternoon. My friends were making franctic calls to each other, trying to find out each others scores. I was as cool as can be. I wasnt expecting much. And I also figured out that me getting excited isnt going to change the results. I logged on - 98.37%ile with a expected poor performance in DI.

Then came the SNAP results. I had a God-score of 101 in SNAP. I had virtually converted all Symbiosis institutes or so I thought.

As expected, I got calls from all institutes I had applied to.

I was sure to convert SIIB and SIBM, but was sckeptical about SCMHRD because of their vague selection criteria.

First, the SIIB results came out. "You have been waitlisted - WL123"

There hasnt been a time when I have felt worse. A college like SIIB doesnt pick me up? I aint good enough for SIIB? Its 6th on my list yaar! If I cant get into this how can I get into the top ones?

Next result - SCMHRD - "We are sorry to inform you that you havent been selected for the program at SCMHRD". Okay. This one I can understand. HRD looks for work experience or whatever no one know. They rather flip a coin :P

Next- SIBM- now this one I was surely gonna convert. Its by far the best GD and Interview I have had ever! I was so damn confident about this one. I had already started dreaming of this place and how I will buy a bike and travel from Pune to Mumbai on weekends. I logged on - "We are sorry to inform...." I didnt read the next line. They didnt take me in- is all I could tell myself. They rejected me. The feeling of selfworthlessness cant be described in words.

3 of the 7 colleges I had applied to had rejected me. I had a God-score! What happened? How bad am I? What mistake do I make? Havent I prepared well? I am sure I have! I have given 8 hours per day reading shit like who is India's X minister and who heads Y committe.

MICAT- is the additional exam that you give for MICA. MICAT is supposed to check how creative you are. Now this is my turf. I gave the exam. Waited patiently for the results.

The results came in - "You are not selected for..." I kept looking at the screen.

4 out of the 7 colleges had rejected me. Dude? I got selected in God-damn FTII!! Thats the most creative exam on the whole continent! I get selected in FTII but ant creative enough for Mica?!

Now the only colleges left were MDI, IMT and Welingkar. The chances were bleak for mdi and imt since they are among the top instis in the country. If I cant make to normal colleges, how can I make it to the top ones? I will take a Welingkar. I am sure I will get it. But I have a 98.37 for pete's sake! Welingkar at that kinda score?

I used to find guys who cant even write basic English writing posts on Pagalguy saying - I have get admission to XYZ college. Aaj raat parti hogi. Chers!

I made sure that I swore atleast once at the college in question.

Then came the IMT results. I had a so-so GD and an average Interview. I wasnt expecting a convert, but atleast I got into the waitlist. "Game on," I said to myself. Maybe, just maybe, I might get in.

The most important results came in next. MDI- Waitlisted. Expected. Had an horrible interview. Now, when I think about it, I realise that I was depressed by the kinda results I had got. Here I was running out of colleges I can apply to and still havent got a convert.

Slowly and steadily my friends were getting converts. Everyone had orkut taglines changed to -Joining XXX.. 22 days to go.. some stuff like that.. Colleges are starting in 22 days? I still dont have an convert.

I started applying for jobs. But recession had kicked in and no one was willing to give me any jobs. BPOs loved to stay away from you if you were an engineer, which I was.

I was caught up. Tense. But like my friends tell me now, that I masked it pretty well. Infact even if you go back and read my posts dated around that time, they were still funny.

So here I was, 20 days remaining for colleges to start, with no job, no college. I felt like I had taken the worst decesion by leaving Siemens. Life can only be understood in hindsight.

I kept checking the waitlist movement at IMT. Somehow I had a feeling that I might just make it in this B school.

I remember that afternoon- I logged in on to the IMT site. I put in my id and password. The screen went blank for a moment. Then a new page appeared on screen -

I read the fifteen letter word again and again. Congratulations. When was the last time I read that? I didnt do what they do in the movies. No pumping my fists in the air. No shouting, No yelling. I just sat on the chair... letting it sink in... and then let myself sink in the chair... Then got up from the chair. Made a tight fist, and ever so slowly said - Yes.

The time I had spent studying, giving mock-cats, learning about minister X and committe Y, all of a sudden, I felt, had paid dividends. A feeling of gratitude took me over. I dont remember how many times must I had thanked the computer that day.

In the last week, I got a call from MDI too. And I took that up. But I still love IMT. In the way you love your girlfriend you had when you were 15.

Now when I look back, I feel everything fell in place. But I still wonder, the Intellectual capital that comes to MDI and IMT is way better than the colleges that rejected me. I dont get it, if the country's elite b-schools can accept me, then what are the traits that these other bschools look at? And its obvious that they are doing something wrong, else they would be higher up the rankings.

Also, I dont think CAT is a good way to judge students. Now, for eg, had I made one mistake in the paper, I wouldnt be in IMT or MDI. At the same time, had I made one mistake less, I would have been in the IIMs. The point being - CAT is definitely not the only parameter that a college should look at. But it should be remembered that CAT is the most transparent way of selecting students. The lesser of the evils.

So I am back. Not that I wasnt here already. Its just that I was living the zombie life. We had our end-terms which ended yesterday.

Firstly, I apologize to everyone whom I had promised that I will be online on the time(you know who you are). I has grossly miscalculated the stress of this course that I have undertaken here at MDI. I use the word 'undertaken' in the same vein as 'undertaker'. Because its killing me, but I want to 'undetake' it before it undertakes me. Dude, its 4 in the morning, you wont get better quotes than these.

Anyway, to demonstrate the point that we are damn busy, let me drive home a few pointers. Know how MBA students whine about how less time they have and stuff (sissies). Well digest this - These guys have 14 lectures per week(IIMs included). The course that we have, makes us face 27 lectures per week! Thats double of what all other courses in India attend. And they still dont have time! Just imagine what must we be going through! You cant imagine stuff till you actually do stuff - Here I will take you through with the kinda choices I have to make nowadays -

1. Should I cut my nails or read that article the Prof asked to read?

2. Should I go to the cooler to drink water or should I research for that Presentation due tomorrow?

3. Do I study for tomorrow's quiz or do I beat Shantanu's ass at TT(Shantanu, if you are reading this, its my blog and I can write whatever I want, I can make myself look good. Come to think of it, that is the only reason I started writing a blog. Wanna tell your side of the story, get your own blog.)

4. Should I take a bath or write a blogpost?

So whenever you see a post updated here, you know...

I am sure you have got my point. So coming to the other nitty gritties of the program. Its an International Management course. Now this is truly International and one of a kind in the country. In this course we study at MDI for a year and then go to Berlin/Paris for an year. No prizes for guessing that I will be going to Berlin this March. The only other country I would like to be in after India is Germany. I have always had this strange liking for Germany and its people.

Btw, forgot to tell you, since mine is an International course, there are a few firangs who will be joining the class. We have been assigned buddies. Infact I met my buddy today. A German guy. Damn cool. Not as cool as me though. Not his mistake, no ones as cool as me. I dont understand why you are still reading the post. Anyway, I was saying hes pretty cool and knows a lot about India and Indian history. We are waiting for the rest of the foreign batch to come in. Especially the French and German girls. The guys back home must be hating me right now. Saalon, thoda CAT padh lete, you could have been here. And I would be back home. Still sleeping for 10 hours a day. Its because of dumbasses like you that guys like me have to abandon a near perfect life and come to a place where sleeping for 5 hours is a luxury.

Coming back to the to the topic (if there was any), the question remains, why dont I bunk lectures. After all I am no Rahul Bhat! My previous records will show that I have not attended more than 30% lectures in any semester. So why this sudden transformation??

I will tell you why! The Profs here are damn Good (with a capital G). There is this guy who teaches IAS guys some stuff, then there is this Public policy guy has worked with a nobel laureate, then this guy who was appointed by the president of India to head a company... I can go on and on... The way of teaching is excellent. Student particiapation is encouraged. Never ever have I found the Prof not being able to answer my question.. The bottom line being, they are super cool. Also our classroom is eye-candy. I almost love it as much I love my terrace hostel room. The guys here are real nice. Intially it took me a lot of time to make friends, it usually does take time for me, but here it was more than usual, maybe the cultural difference or stuff. But anyway, I am great friends with most of them now, and inspite of the militant schedule we try to have fun.

Fun se yaad aya, we had a party today. It was a thanksgiving party. We thanked our seniors for all they had done for us, and what better way than to host a party for them. It was quite a party. After so many days I had coke today. The soft drink, I mean. Hehehe. Please laugh, its late and thats the best I could come up with. My only problem was with the DJ. So many of mainu-tainu punjabi songs yaar. He must have played Kala Chasma (dont give the importance to the video) around 6 times. I mean, its a good song, but 6 times! And the problem is, had he played it for the 7th times the guys would have still danced crazy! The dance btw has to be bhangra. That is the only dance form allowed. But its pretty easy this bhangra thingy. You should have you hands raised with your index finger pointing towards the sky. Thats it! By the end of the night, even our German classmate had learnt to dance bhangra-istyle.

There are a few French students on the campus too, you should see them dance man! I mean, sometimes even I dont understand what the punjabi song means, but look at these guys yaar, they keep gyrating at anything. Its like me dancing to French tunes!

Anyway, the point being Indians rock, and so do the Europeans, not as much as we do, but we are teaching them, and they should get there before they leave.

One last thing before I wind up, I have to get up early tomorrow, I have a lecture. I know tommorow is a Sunday. But aint got no holiday. Infact, I havent had a holiday since the last 15 days. So why dont I go sleep? Well, I thought I had already enjoyed so much in a night, why not jot it down while it is all fresh.

Anyway, the sky is turning blue as I write this. The posts in the future will be shorter and crisper and more frequent(hopefully) in the future.

Till then guys, take care and have fun.

Its been 2 full weeks in Gurgaon now. I have found this place very different compared to aamchi mumbai. Like-
Half of the batch is from saddi Delhi. Every fourth guy's surname is Gupta. Reebok is a bigger brand than nike. Amul makes 50% of its sales in this part of the country!

I have also noted a behavioural difference in the Delhi guys here(kya MBA ki tarah baat kar raha hoon na!). They are kinda dependent on their parents. And parents dont really mind it. Need a tie, call the dad, he will send a tie in his car. Need washing powder, call your mom, she sends it in her car. I sometimes envy the kinda life these guys live. In Mumbai, most kids dont live such a protective life. Though Mumbai makes us independent, it in some ways reduces the length of one's childhood. Anyway, enough gyan. The point is that this is a timepass blog and things which make us think are not allowed here.

So back to the topic- Here at MDI we have washing machines at every floor of the hostel. I wash my clothes every Sunday in the washing machine. (However, I take a bath everyday!)

This is something that I overheard near the washing machine... This is how the story goes -

There were 3 Delhi guys trying to wash their clothes in the washing machine. They surrounded the machine like surgeons surround a patient on an operating table. If three delhi guys are friends, one of them has to be a sardarji... else they call it a foul!

So these guys, 2 guys and a sardarji, had surrounded the washing machine with washing powder and bucket full of clothes, wondering how to start the thing. The dialogue is given below. I have kept it in hindi to maintain the fun quotient of the whole thing.

The funny thing here is that, all of these guys had washing machines at their homes but had never operated it!! I mean how lazy can you get? My brother Aroop is the laziest guy I know and even he knows how to operate the washing machine! (Taking digs at your cousin through your blog : Priceless!)

Delhi guy 1: Oye yeh chalti kaise hai?

Delhi guy 2: Arre yaar.. Mumma ko fone karke poochna padega...

Delhi guy 3: (with supreme confidence) Arre bahut aasan cheez hai bey yeh.. load na le..

DG1: aacha? Kya karna hota hai?

DG3: Bas machine khol ke kapde ghused do!

DG2: (Pointing to the knobs on the washing machine) Abbey yeh knobs ka kya karen? Kaunsa ghumana hota hai?

DG3: Abbe woh nahi patah. Mumma ko sirf kapde ghusedte hue dekha tha..

DG1: Abbe wohi toh important hai!

Chal mumma ko call karta hoon...

Hello mumma? Yeh washing machine kaise chalate hain? Aacha? Knob ghuma doon? Light load? Delicate? Haan haan.. Yahan likha hai! Thik hai.. Thik.. Thik.. Okay.. OOokay..

(With a sigh of relief and a proud smile on his face) Chalo bhai, kaam ho gaya. Yeh knob ghumana hai.

Lo, ghuma diya..

Abbe chalu kyun nahi ho rahi?

Yeh doosra knob bhi toh hai?

Yeh toh temperature hai... Pani garam karta hai...

Garam pani? Kyun?

Patah nahi yaar.. Kapde aache saaf hote honge.

Chalo garam kardo bilkul.. 70 pe chala do..

Yaar ab bhi chalu nahi ho rahi..

Phir se call lagaon?

Hello mumma? Chalo nahi ho rahi hai? Haan? kiya. Haan? Woh bhi kiya. Nahi chalu ho rahi hai.. Accha phuphi(Aunt) ko conference mein le le?(Seems like Phuphiji was more tech savvy than mom) Hello phuphiji? Washing machine nahi chalu ho rahi... Haan.. Haan.. Mumma ek second, phuphi ko bol lene do na.. Haan kiya.. phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.. Accha thik hai dekh leta hoon...

Kya hua? Kuch patah chala?

Nahi yaar. Sab kuch toh theek kiya hai. Phir bhi chalu nahi ho rahi.

Oye teri koi girlfriend hai? Usko call karke pooch liyo yaar...

Abbe? Washing machine chalane ke liye girlfriend ko call karun? Thik hai karta hoon.. Marwaoge tum log..
Hello sweetie, ki haal chal? Haan bas thik hai.. haan bas chal raha hai.. yahan ki bandiyan(girls) utne aachi nahi hai yaar.. arre nahi karunga flirt.. haan.. promise.. arre woh sab chod, mujhe bata tujhe washing machine chalane aati hai? Arre yaar engineer toh hoon, lekin washing machine kabhi chalayi nahi na.. Mazak mat kar yaar, batana, aati hai? haan.. haan.. okay.. okay.. thik hai.. chal try karke dekhta hoon... haan haan.. me too...me too.. friends hai yaar paas mein... haan yaar, flirt nahi karunga.. bye.

Kya boli?

Arre wohi jo teri phuphi boli..

Toh saale itni der kya baat kar raha tha?

Abbe ab tere kapdon ke chakkar mein kudi se bhi baat na karun?

Arre gussa na ho yaar, mazak kar raha tha...

Yahan pe machine chal nahi rahi hai aur tum log pagalpanti kar rahe ho yaar..

Arre aise kaise nahi chalegi.. Kuch toh gadbad hai..

Oye, yeh button kis liye hai? Daba ke dekhun?

Haan haan.. dabade

Sambhaliyo..

Oye teri.. yeh toh batti jal gayi...

Abbe yaar.. yeh toh start button tha.. gadhe pehle nahi daba sakta tha...

Abbe phuphi ne yeh nahi bataya tujhe, ki start bhi karni hoti hai?

Teri girlfriend ne nahi bataya tujhe? Wahan toh - me too.. me too.. chal raha tha..

Abbe kyun jhagad rahe ho yaar! Shuru ho gayi na machine. Bas.

Haan yaar.. shuru toh ho gayi.. Dekh kaise ghum rahi hai!

Haan yaar... badhiya saaf ho jaayenge kapde...

chalo ab kuch parathe-sharathe khatein hain..

They returned back after an hour to see that the machine was still on. They came back after one and a half and the machine was still working. I dunno what setting had they set the machine on, but it kept working for 6 hours! Last heard, they were calling the women of the house to ask how to turn off the Washing machine!!