The TimePass of India

Part 3 (final and concluding part) of the "Hey Dog" trilogy.(Yeah, just like MATRIX!!)
Read the Part 1 -Hey Dog (The original dog!) here..
Read the Part 2 -Hey Dog (Dog's day out!) here..
Read the Part 3 - Hey Dog (The return of the wise one) here..
(No reference between the three, just like MATRIX!!)

There is this old dog who has made my building's garage his home. He spends the day lazing around, sleeping, wagging flies off his tail.. Sometimes he takes a stroll around the building, to check if everything is right in his kingdom.


Whenever I get out of the house to buy maggi rice noodles (Its addictive I tell you) hes there, looking at me.. As if saying- "Too much noodles is not good for you bow wow.."

Last week he shifted home from the garage to infront of my door. Now he lazes around sitting in front of the door. Whenever I open the door, hes there..

One day while I was leaving home to buy another pack of you-know-what.. I opened the door and stepped out, by mistake I stepped on the dog's tail..

"Bow wow wow.. ", he yelped..
I was confused. I didnt realise I had stepped on its tail..
"Whats wrong? You hungry doggy woggy?", I said (Note: I dont usually talk like tht)
"Bow wow bow wow.."
"Er?"
"Bow wow.. step off my tail you frickin moron!!"
I realised then that my right foot was on his tail.
"I am sooo sorry.. I didnt realise tht.. I didnt.. Dog!!Did you just talk?"
"Bow? Bow wow wow.. Bow wow!"
"Kid me not.. I heard you talking.."
"damn it.. "
"Wow.. A talking dog!"
"Wht do you mean a talking dog? all dogs can talk! All you need to do is step on their tails.." "Really? Step on their tails and they talk??!"
"Yeah.. either that or they bite.. one of the two for sure.."
"Oh.. darn.. Why didnt you bite?"
"I am too bored to bite.. I am old.. Plus I have cavities in my pre-canines.."
"Oh.. sucks.. er.. actually its good.. or else you would have bit me.. I really dont like the fact that when you bite humans the poor souls have to get 7 injections.."
"It was 14 when I was young.. And I think something is wrong with you humans, I have bitten Damnu, changu and mangu.. they never had to take any injections.."
"Oh.. why did you bite them?"
"They were eyeing my fourth wife..Ah..she was a Pomeranian.. I always had a thing for Polish beauties.."
"You guys have 4 wives?!!"
"4 wives and 3 mistresses.."
"3 mistresses? Shouldnt you be calling them you bitch-tresses?! hahahh snort..hahaha.."
"Watch your tongue.. I might be old, but wont take a word against my women.."
"Wow.. and by women you mean bitches.. hahaah.. hehe.. hahahaha.."
"Grrr.." , The dog bared his teeth..
"Sorry sorry.. I wont say a word now.. So, whats with 7 bitches mate? You must be a stud when young.."
"Hmm.. I kinda was, but you know how it is, we get more distinguished with age.. Young bitches want dogs who are well settled and respected.."
"Wow.. Its kinda like that even here.. Case in point : Richard Gere. He gets all the good ones.." "Yeah.. saw his photo in the paper once.. kissing some girl.."
"She was Shilpa Shetty.."
"Yeah.. She won Big Brother in the UK, didnt she?"
"Gee.. You know so much.."
"I used to sleep outside The Times of India in my early years.."
"Wow.. I could use your help.. My GD- PIs are coming up.."
"Anytime mate.."
So it had come down to this, taking a dogs help for mba entrance prep!
"Anyways mate, I gotta go.. have a date..See her there?"
"That white dog?"
"Shes a BITCH you idiot.."
"Oh.. sorry.."
"I dont look at your girl and say - that MAN, do I?"
"Really sorry.. I didnt..er.. look down there.. at her.. er.."
"Dont you dare look there.. or you ll be dog meat... and that dog would be me!"
"I didnt mean to.. er.."
"Dont you see her curvy shape, her lovely doe eyes, even her whiskers are so cute.."
"Er.. I.. I.. I am not much into bitches you know.."
"Anyways, I dont have time for stupid humans like you.. I have a date.."
"What do you do on a date, if you dont mind me asking.. As in, apart from the licking and smelling each other's you know what.."
"Oh, we havent got there yet.. We are just getting to know each other.."
"I see.. So what are you gonna do today? Going some place swanky?"
"Lemme see, first we will chase a few trucks, then maybe cross the road and scare a few drivers, after that I will take her to Hiranandani, some garbage cans they have, I tell you.. You should take your girl there sometime..."
"Umm.. I dont think she will be interested in garbage much.."
"Dont be so sure..!! Shes interested in you!!! bow wow woowwhoww..."
"Dont you have to go chase cars or something?"
"Yeah.. my bitch is waiting.. bye then.."
"Yeah, ..Even I have to buy stuff.."
"Too much Chinese noodles is not good for your health btw.."
"Umm, is it? People in China always eat Chinese food , ofcourse, there they just call it food.. The point being nothing happens to them.."
"They dont grow tall.. Someone like you would be tall, dark and handsome there.. or atleast tall, dark.."
"Hmm.. so I will reduce my noodles intake. Thanks 'wise one'. Can I call you that?"
"Is it sarcastic?"
"Pretty much..."
"Okay."
"bye."
"bow."

As I watched them walk away into the sunset, I couldnt help think of a similar pair in the human context..



Yes, Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty.. Hey Dog: The return of the wise one (Part 3)

She stood there on the bridge looking at the green ocean below.. He stood beside her, looking at her.. The cars wizzed past them.. Cement rails seperated the walkway from the busy freeway... Its weird that on the busy 6-lane bridge, they were all alone..The wind played with her hair, not letting them stay in place.. She tucked a strand behind her ear.. He wished he could do that for her...

"Why is the ocean green?", she asked innocently..
"Oh.. thats coz of green algae.. Algae is responsible for 70% of the world's total oxygen through photosynthesis.. ", he answered.. Too much reading does that to you...
"Kya re.. You are such an engineer..."
"Oh.. so you want the not-so-scientific answer.."
"Yeah.. "
"Hmm.. Well, the ocean is green with envy.."
"With Envy?", she asked, kinda surprised to hear that..
"Yeah.. It envies me.."
"You? Why? What have you got that he doesnt..?"
"I got you..", he smiled..
"Oh.. Thats so mushy.. ", she said trying to supress a blush..
"I ll never get girls! When I give her a scientific answer, she calls me nerdy.. When I give her a romantic answer, she calls me a softie! Girls I tell you!"
"Its so beautiful na.. the ocean..I like the ocean.. and the mountains.."
"You know what I like?"
"What?"
"You!"
"That line never gets old!"
"Wants you to break into a song, doesnt it?"
"Really?"
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
To be sung on The Discovery channel: I love the world theme..
The Pink lines are to be sung by the girl (If you have a girl around that is!) The blue ones are to be sung by the guy!! (obviously!..)








hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
I love the ocean..
I love the mountains..
I love the birds that fly..
I love the fountains..
I love the whole world,
its such a perfect place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love when you look at me..
I love the deep blue sea..
This is where memories rest..
My thoughts be undressed..
I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love the beach sand..
I love when you hold my hand...
I wish we could live here...
Your wish.. My command..
I love the whole world,
its such a perfect place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love the setting sun..
I wish it could wait a while..
I love the winters..
I love your dimpled smile..
I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


Whenever we can...We gonna sing this song..
I am astonished, how did we work this on!
Arent we getting late.. now that the sun has set..
Its just six twenty.. I m so sure I can bet..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


I love the whole world,
its such a lovely place..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..


"That was great!"
"Care to do it again?"
"Really?"

hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa..
hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. hummiyaa... hummiyaa.. I love the whole world : The song rocks

I wanted to do this... Make a list of all time hit hindi movies. Why u ask? well.. coz I have nothing else to do! But then I realised that was too much work.. So I decided on this, short and sweet.. List of top 10 hindi movies in the 2000s..
I have pre-selected the movies for you, so it makes it easier for you guys. Also you wouldnt have to come across movies like "Reshma ki Jawani" or "Bhutiya Haveli" so it also makes the selection faster. For my friends whose list would mainly comprise of movies like Reshma ki.. (you know who you are), my sincere apologies


Accha.. so I hope you guys have got what we gotta do - Go to the link below, rank your movies and mail them to me, cool?

Go here- http://arshat.chaudhary.googlepages.com/listofmovies

Thanks guys..
Take care
Have fun Top 10 hindi movies of the last 8 years (2000-2008)

Short story

She joined school after the first midterm in the 8th grade.. Public schools are pretty strict when it comes to joining school on time. Her dad must a big shot, Rahul thought..

She was cute, petite, had short shoulder length hair.. She was confident, very sure of herself...

The class teacher introduced her as Kritika Rajan.. Kritika gave a friendly smile..

Rahul noticed her cute dimples.. Now Rahul wasnt a dimples guy.. never was.. But he couldnt stop staring at her as she smiled. Rahul was the tallest guy in the class, so he always took the last bench, Kritika took the third bench. Good for him, coz he could steal a glance or two everytime she smiled and those dimples flashed..

She had asked Rahul for his Geometry notes.. Apparently, Rahul's teachers had high regard for the guy, they had suggested Kritika to get his notes to cover up for all the portion she had missed the last semester.. Rahul was obviously too happy to help...
She came fuming to Rahul the next day...
"I dont get your handwriting.."
"Arre, samjha woh likh.. baki drawing nikal! hehawhaw"
"Shut up.."
Clearly, it was not the right time..
"Okay, what didnt u get?"
"This word - 'cle' Whats tht?"
"cle- cle means 'circle'!!Thats called Rahul shorthand!!" Rahul shrugged..
"Ooookay.. whats 'rle'?"
"Rectangle!"
"Oh.. and 'tle' is er.. triangle?"
"Way to go girl.."
"Oh.. hmm.. hey, can u please wait after school to help me understand more of your shorthand? Please! Pretty please!"
Now how could anyone say no to that!!

That evening, among congruent and similar triangles, she opened up to him.. She talked bout her favourite movies, the sitcoms she watched, how much she loved Tv and why..

Rahul never met her father, but was pretty sure she was her father's daughter.. She was honest, strong willed, tough..
Her dad was a high court judge, and now was on the special bench for political cases. He must be an honest guy.. They dont transfer someone at a post that high that often.. Kritika later told him that she had changed 5 schools in the last 7 years. She had stayed in Nagpur, Aurangabad, Solapur, Pune and now mumbai.. she hadnt spent more than 2 years at any one place. She had very few friends, most of them in Pune, where her dad was last placed.



There was this place behind the school building.. It was like a very small playground, with a single swing, a slide, an incredibly small see-saw and a cement bench, for the teacher to sit and govern the pre-primary kids... He had seen the kids play there in the small sandy place. It seemed big when he saw them kids play there, but now that Rahul was sitting there waiting for her, the place seemed too small.. kinda cosy..

She came, she wore a pink sweater.. weird are these ppl who come from Pune.. After the freezing cold of Pune, they still find the need to wear sweaters in Mumbai! But then, Rahul didnt mind, she looked hot in that pink sweater..

"You have cute dimples.."
"What?"
"Your dimples.. they are cute.."
Its weird how a girl who is that tough around others melts when shes around someone she likes..
"No they are not..", she tried to look away, trying to suppress a blush..
"Yes they are.."
"Noooo", the more she tried not to, the more she blushed..
"Yes they are.."
"No, they arent.."
"Yes they are"

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...


Back in school they behaved like total strangers.. Ofcourse there was a glance here and a wink there.. but they made sure not to come within 1 metre of each other.. The fact that no one knew about them made it more thrilling!

They started meeting every evening behind the school after school..
She always wore that pink sweater, now, even more coz she knew Rahul liked it on her..
"You got nice hair.. and pretty eyes.."
Its weird how naive these 8th grade boys are! No creativity they got I tell you..
"Nooo.. No one has told me that before.."
"Well, I am telling you now.."
"No, they arent that pretty.."
"Yes they are.."
"No"
"Yes"

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...


December days get kinda chilly, even in Mumbai.. That day it was a bit chilly.. Even Rahul wore a sweater to school that day.. he normally thought he was too cool to wear one! He looked at Kritika who was sitting on the third bench.. she looked lovely as ever..

He kept looking at her throughout the Geometry and Science class.. Restlessness grew within him as last lecture of the day was approaching.. He wanted to be alone with her.. Talk bout stuff.. bout what he loved.. his fears.. his dreams...

The bell rang.. After everyone had left the school, he went to the playground at the back of the building..
She was sitting there.. The golden sun rays of the evening sun were falling on her face.. her dark hair looked golden brown in the sunlight.. It was very cold, she was wearing her pink sweater.. He could stand there looking at her all his life..

She looked at him.. Something wasnt right.. or so it seemed..
He sat beside her..

"Whats wrong.."
"My dad’s getting transferred.."
"Again?"
"Yep..This is my last week in the school.. My dad will be transferred to Nagpur"

She was taking it amazingly well..

"What? But it has been only three months!"
"Oh.. I know"
"You wont miss me?"
"No, why?."

This was weird.. didn’t she feel anything for him..

"Not even a little?"
"Umm.. a little.. maybe.."
He saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes..

"You liar.. You not going anywhere, are you.."
"I sooo got you there..haha"
"Stop laughing meano.."
"Nahi re, my dad is getting transferred.. But I am staying with my Grandmom.. "
"I m not even talking to you.."
"Aaww, I am so sorry re.. sorry sorry sorry.. "

She must have said sorry bout 9 times.. And there must be guys reading this thinking that it doesn’t make things better.. but trust me, it does..

Rahul’s heart melted..

Its not fair.. Men were made taller and stronger.. Men fight, eat with their hands, drink from the carton.. What was bout these girls that made men all soft inside.. damn..

"Not fair..You cant do it to me.. I like you"

It was the first time he said that to her. Both of them knew it, but it was the first time he said it to her..

"I like you too.. more than you like me.. "
"No, I like you more.."
"No, I like you more.. "
"Nope, I do.."

The Judge's daughter she was..., she liked winning arguments, but she liked him too..., she could let him win this one...

She smiled, Rahul’s heart melted. He had won the argument.. But something he lost.. And he was not sure what..

She held his arm close to her and placed her head gently on his shoulders…

Last time I saw them, they were just 14 year olds, with dreams in their eyes.. and maybe.. one day... they got married...., and had kids and yes..., like all good stories go.. They lived happily ever after...


________________________________________________________
I am a sucker for happy endings.. Something didnt seem right in the last story. So I changed the ending..Happy New Year Guys..:)
The Judge's daughter

The problem with having friends who work for software companies is that very few of them are actually placed in Mumbai.. I have close friends - one of whom is placed in pune, and this girl whos currently residing in Delhi.. Lets call them Harry and sweety, not to conceal their identity or anything, but just for fun..

So they arent jobless free souls like me.. they are pretty much 9 to 5 guys.. when my sunday evenings are spent playing cricket in the field, it comes as a surprise to me that these guys chat their hearts out on the net.. In other words they do the pretty same things on a Sunday evening what they do the rest of the days. To be honest thats what I do too during weekdays, but atleast there they are getting paid for it..

So this particular Sunday, I was winning the game for my team singlehandedly(some guys think I am Sehwag, with a really bad wig.. whtever!)


So after hitting around a dozen and a half boundaries, I checked my cell for any congratulatory messages..

There were two, but they werent congratulatory..They were what is see as FRANTIC
One was by Harry - Abbe kahan hai? You are needed here..
Second was by sweety - Kahan ho aap? Online aao na.. (Note that she uses the Delhi lingo- aap and all. If in Mumbai you call someone aap, they start laughing at your faces)

I wondered what important work these guys got with me.. I hurriedly completed my triple century (what? the boundaries were short!) and rushed into my abode.. logged in.. I sent a conference request to them.

Sweety has joined Harry has joined
Arshat(thts me btw): here..
Sweety: finally
Harry: all 3 here..
Arshat: oye? kya hua? something serious?
Harry: abbe nahi.. timepass..
Arshat: wht the? Man.. I thought u were getting married..
Harry: who me?
Sweety: main?
Arshat: yeah.. both of you..
Harry: hehehe.. or worse, to each other!
Arshat: I think you guys will make a lovely pair! ;)
Sweety: his mom wud kill me..
Arshat: harry? ur mom does that to women you marry?
Harry: oh not now.. she has improved by miles..
Arshat: see sweety? she doesnt kill them now.. I think you shud give this a try..
Sweety: nahi re.. she has plans for her future daughter-in-law.. n i dnt fit in thm..
Arshat: why? his mom feels you arent sexy enough? as in for him.. (Raunchy is my usp)
Harry: lol..
Sweety: God! you guys!
Harry: hahahaha.. seriously funny.. I just imagined my mom say tht!- "sweety isnt sexy enuf fr u!" hehehe..
Sweety: I thout u were scared of your mother...
Harry: And what gave u tht idea?
Sweety: Parent teacher meetings..
Harry: oh that! That was 10 years ago.. Baccha abhi bada ho gaya hai..
Arshat: And he aint talkin metaphorically..
Harry: Infact I had a forced convo with my parents a few yrs ago, thy said i cud marry whomever i like..
Arshat: Good.. but harry, tht sumhow has nevr been our problem.. the one whom we like never likes us back!- thts the problem..
Sweety: hehehhe.. kuch bhi..
Arshat: aur bolo.. hows life?
Sweety: Harry is having fun.. n will start working on a new project..
Harry: And sweetys college is on as usual..
Arshat: You guys knw so much bout each other.. and u say u dont wanna get married :P
Harry: Btw, hows sally?
(Sally btw, is the 4th pillar of this..er.. table? She stays in Mumbai. Harry, sally, sweety and me are frds frm school..)
Arshat: Shes good..
Sweety: Phd huh?
Arshat: Yeah.. good college too..
Harry: Sahi re..
Arshat: But I aint calling her a doctor before she gives me a treat..
Harry: I am lousy friend aint I? (Trust him to come up with the silliest question, with no reference whatsoever)
Arshat: You bet.. the worst I got.. (Trust me to come up with the silliest answer)
Sweety: chup re arshat.. nahi u r a good frd harry.. y do u say dat?
Arshat: yeah..whts got into u?
Harry: No.. I mean, i dont call, scrap or mail you guys..
Arshat: Oh.. cant comment on that.. I m a bigger defaulter there ..
Harry: Nahi re, I have so many calls free.. and messages free..
Arshat: u do?
Harry: even STD is free..
Arshat: stop bragging popat, this aint helping your status as a lousy frd :P
Harry: I dont know whats going on in sallys life.. Its been ages since I called her..
Arshat: hmm.. but your credibility isnt dependent on callin her alone.. as in, u always ask bout her when u call me, and she always asks bout u when she calls me..
Sweety: yeah, frdshp is nt all bout callin scrappin and emailing, its bout comfort..
Arshat: hmm.. we hav stuck ard for the last 10 yrs right?..and I dont think we have done tht bad.., I just want you guys to know, phone calls or no phone calls, mails or no mails, we will remain friends forever... I soooo miss u guys.. Do I sound like a girl..?
Harry: yes u do..
Sweety: yeah..like tht girl..
Arshat: wht girl?
Harry: She knows bout her mate...
Arshat: u told her? kya yaar..!!#$%
Harry: she forced it outta me!
Arshat: yeah.. right..
Sweety: ya ya.. i m very forceful :P
Arshat: oh dear..
Sweety: toh bolo bolo.. give me all the details?
Harry: look at her go.. she wants all the gossip doesnt she!
Arshat: arre thr is nuthing to say...
Sweety: u like her..
Arshat: her who?
Sweety: her.. HER! u like her..
Arshat: this is so 7th gradeish...guys, i m going home..
Harry: hey even i need to go, office tomo..
Sweety: yeah me too, coll early morn..
Harry: hmm bye then..
Sweety: byeee...
Arshat: bye.. take care.. have fun..:)

The problem with good friends is that no matter how far we stay away from each other, we are somehow very close.. sometimes too close for comfort
But yeah, its fun, the only time it is not fun is when the joke's on me.. which is most of the times
But seriously, you guys have been great.. And I risk sounding like a girl here, but I soooo miss u guys..
Take care u guys, and remember - I am just a frantic message away Of friends, Conference chat and sounding like a girl..

I have been a little busy over the last few days.. not that you miss me not blogging or anything, but just felt you would like to know.. Did I hear you asking why am I busy? (Well, dont answer, I am on the other side of the screen and I cant hear you.. bwahaha..er.. sorry)

So, I got my tooth cavity filled.. I have been blessed with a good set of teeth, I have never had any problems so never had to visit a dentist ever.. Most of my friends have spent a small fortune at the dentist after spending half a fortune on Cadbury.. I have had these guys telling me their experiences at the dentist, so I thought now that I have an experience why not share it..

Yeah yeah.. I know.. Getting your cavity filled is nothing to blog about, but if you have been playing attention, my last post was about a speaking dog.. So now that I have set really low stds for myself, I can blog about any crap that comes to my mind.. So here goes..

The place was huge and really clean.. I sat at the reception along with the other er.."patients"

"Mr. Chaudhary? You are in next..", said the receptionist.
I love being called Mr.Chaudhary.. Its so, u know, grownup..

I entered the cabin.
The dentist was a lady in her late twenties, she had a mask on her mouth, but had really pretty brown eyes and long hair.. Something told me she was a south Indian, probably Tamil.. (I have a southie fetish )
"Umm.. Chaudhary.. Arshat Chaudhary, right?"
Man! this was like James Bond..
"Yeah.. 007"
"What? is that your phone number..? Pls fill it in here..", she said, handing me the patient card..
No sense of humour these doctors have I tell you.. (I was to be proved wrong)

I filled up all the details and then sat on the Dentist chair, which is pretty much like a barbers chair, only at an more obtuse angle....
"Heylo doctor", I said as I lay down on the chair
"Hello", she said
"I am kinda nervous.. I have never been to a dentist before.. Its my first filling"
"Oh.. Dont worry.. Its my first too"
(startled)"huh?"
"joke tha baba"
"phew"
"I have done atleast 3 fillings before this"
(startled)"huh?"
"hee hee.. I meant today"

This was gonna be one long session..


What kinda filling would you like?
Umm.. Chocolate?bwhahahahah
No no.. I meant, silver or tooth coloured filling?
Hmm.. silver.. I mean, atleast I can sell it in times of need.. bwahahaha..
umm.. satish, bring the drill.. the BIG one..
She didnt like the joke it seemed..

Satish was her assistant,he seemed more than happy to get her the big drill.. He had that look on his face.. You know, the kinda look that says somebody-gonna-hurt-real-bad-tonight

The engineer in me noticed that there was a hermetically sealed compressor in the corner of the room. The engineer in me awakened (I would have liked had it awakened when I was giving my sem 7 exams)-
Hey! Thats a hermetically sealed compressor!
Hermi.. what?
Umm.. never mind.. What would you doctors do without us engineers!
She looked at me...Her eyes didnt look pretty to me anymore.. The big drill in her hand was making grrring noises..
We will see..Now this is gonna hurt.. Dont scream..
Oh, dont worry.. We men dont scream.. we fight.. we hunt.. but we dont scream..ow ow ow..

With that it started.. The drill drilling into my tooth.. I learnt a new thing bout the human mouth that day,- If someone drills into your tooth, it will hurt!....

one more thing I learnt - If someone puts their hand inside your mouth and you dont get to close your mouth for a long time, a lotta saliva collects in your mouth..
The dentist had a female assistant whose job was to place a pipe in my mouth which wud suck out the saliva, but she wasnt doing her job properly, some of my saliva drooled onto my shirt.. I dont think her heart was in that job.. But in her defense, who would find sucking saliva outta a guys mouth interesting?!



With a good amount of drool making my shirt wet, which btw doesnt happen too often.. It kinda happens only when I look at Salma Hayek, or when I am waiting for food to be served at a restaurant (Is that why girls dont come out with me the second time? :P) Anyways, the point is that my shirt was getting wet, and I dont like me gettin wet in public (or in private.. bathing is such a pain )
The dentist, however, was enjoying every moment of it..
"Satish, miracle mix and Zinc phosphate banana.."
Satish enthusiastically started mixing stuff that came outta weird looking bottles..

"Open wider....God.. this is the biggest cavity I have ever seen.....biggest cavity I have ever seen"
"Why did you say that twice? I am nervous already.."
"Oh.. I just said it once, the second time it was the echo! hahahaha"
hahahah.. Satish and the female assistant joined in..
"Yeah yeah.. very funny.."


Once the miracle mix was placed in the cavity, the job was done.. All I needed now is to get outta here...

Hmm, so Arshat, how do you like your filling?
umm.. I like it..
Good.. so if you have any other problems you can call me, my name and number is on the bill..
Yeah.. And you can call me too, my number is on the patient card..
Err.. Yeah.. right..
Wow.. this bill is kinda steep.. Dont I get a funny guy or a cute guy discount..

The dentist, satish and the female assistant gathered in a huddle to discuss my discount..
I heard satish saying - he was funny alright..
not that much - the assitant added
But that chocolate filling thing was hilarious..
yeah.. tht was good..
so what say? shud we reduce 150 rs?
150? u think he was that worth it?
okay then 100?
umm..okay

The dentist left the huddle- Arshat you ll be getting a 100 rupee discount..
Yeey!

I paid the bill.. I was happy on receiving my cute guy discount.. I know.. I know.. But its my blog, and I can say whtevr I want to...

As I left the clinic, I thought bout the Dentist, and Satish and the female assistant.. Its a boring job that they do if you ask me, I mean what can be more boring than sucking saliva outta a guys mouth or drilling a hole through his teeth or mixing ZnPo4 and miracle mix, but the entusiasm with which they work makes me feel good bout them.. And if hadnt been for them, I wudnt have silver in my teeth!

P.S. - The dentists name was Dr. Iyer btw.. She was tamil afterall!

P.S.- I figured most of us have been watching the news about Mumbai Attacks, so I half-cooked this post up.. Hope I have managed to extract a smile or two through this post... Silver in my teeth : One hour at the dentist

Part 2 of the "Hey Dog" trilogy.(Yeah, just like MATRIX!!)

Read the Part 1 -Hey Dog (The original dog!) here..
Read the Part 2 -Hey Dog (Dog's day out!) here..
Read the Part 3 - Hey Dog (The return of the wise one) here..
(No reference between the three, just like MATRIX!!)

I took a trip to Manori again the other day.. I now like the place even more than I did the last time.. I went there alone this time coz I wanted some peace and quiet for a few days, get away from the world, stuff like that..
The staff at the resort were increasingly nice to me, maybe coz I was alone.. I think they saw me as a loser who likes to spend his holidays alone (which was partly true.. er... no, not the loser part.. The part that I like being alone). The guys there upgraded my room to a nicer, roomier room for no extra charge!

Not only the staff but even Dogs there were nice to me..

Now I am not too fond of dogs, for that matter, I m not particularly fond of any animal, but yeah, I dont mind them being around.

So, as soon as I reached the place, I hit the beach.. I ran along the stretch, took a few pics of the setting sun, saw the sky change its colour every minute and sat on the rocks which were still warm as the sun melted into the ocean..



Once it was too dark, I returned back to the resort.. As I was walking, I noticed a white dog was following me..
I stopped.. He stopped.. I started walking again.. He started walking again.. The problem with dogs is that you dont really know why they are doing what they are doing.. And you cant befriend them by offering them some gum.. They apparently like bones, and for some reason I dont carry extra bones with me..

It was getting really dark now. My fav thing in the resort are the hammocks they have put up outside the cottages.. I lay down on one of the hammocks.. As soon as I settled down in it, the same dog came and sat below my hammock..

I am not scared of dogs, so I didnt mind him much, but I wanted to know what did he want.. But he was wagging his tail, and from what I have learnt from my CS class(Communication Skills) in engg, that means that the doggy is happy and he means no harm..

Next morning I forgot everything bout the dog, and set out for a run on the beach.. Thats when I again felt someone following me, I checked to find it was the same dog..

Inorder that you believe that its true, I have the clip as the proof..

Please note how when I increase my pace, the dog also increases his. When I turn right, he turns right.. When I stop, he stops.. I have heard that animals can be very camera conscious, so I tried shooting this discreetly.. that is one of the reasons why u see my shoulder in the video..
To make the shoot more authentic, I show that my hands are empty (Like David Blaine does at the start of a magic trick) and that the dog is following me without me doing anything special.. (not that I am particularly proud of it..)





I admit that I was getting a bit nervous by then.. I didnt know what to expect.. I started to run on the beach trying to lose him.. The faster I ran, the gutsier his chase became.. I saw in some Vinod Khanna movie that you run in a zigzag manner if you have to confuse a dog.. Though it works only when the dog is following your scent and you are outta its vision.. Here, I was right before him.. Still, I decided to give it a try.. I started running in a zigzag line.. A few of the locals gathered around me coz they expected me to break into their local dance form after the zigzag run.. But I didnt know the local dance form, so did a Govinda meri-pant-bhi-sexy routine there.. Somehow they werent impressed..


In the commotion, the dog lost the track of my scent or whatever it was that he liked in me.. Happy to not have a tail behind me, I plugged in my music player and started running to Nickelback's Rockstar.. As I was running I heard a lot of panting.. As far as I remembered Nickelback dont pant that much while singing.. Still running, I looked over my shoulder to find two dogs, yeah, not one, but two dogs running with me.. Running, and at the same time smelling each others, you know what..



i ran fast, they ran fast.. I ran faster, they ran faster.. I got tired, they didnt.. In my defence, they have 4 legs while I have only 2.. sucks, i tell you!


I dont know if I smelled too good, or too bad(coz I have seen them chase the Garbage trucks) that turned them on or something.. To check, I got close to a pig, gave him a whiff of my..er.. body scent, but it didnt follow me..



That means my deodorant was still working.. It was meant to attract girls, but look what it was getting me - a couple of dogs, not even bitches, but dogs! Not that I have any interest in bitches.. er.. anyway.. the point is that they followed me till it was time for me to leave..

I packed my bags, locked my cottage, and paid all the bills.. I was still being followed by the two dogs.. And I was getting irritated..

"Hey Dog! Look, I am really getting irritated with you constantly following me..What in the world do you want? ", I asked..
"Hey Human!"
Wow.. you can talk..?!!
Yeah.. or maybe its your imagination..
Oh.. maybe..
So why do u humans come here, stay for a while and then leave?
Hmm.. I guess we do that to get away from stuff.. you know.. relax a bit..
You like the beach..??
Yeah.. I do.. I like the ocean kinda..
Because it makes you realise how small and insignificant you are..
Wow.. those are big thoughts coming from someone who licks his own, u know wht, for fun...bwahahahaha..
Hey! Dont be jealous coz u cant do it..!
I am not, trust me..
So you come here to getaway, relax and in short have fun,right?
Yeah.. well put..
hmm..
What do you guys do around here to have fun..?
Oh.. we follow unsuspecting humans staying here in the cottage till they get irritated and frustated.. It is really a cool modus operandi developed by my friend(pointing to the brown dog) changu.. We just follow them, we dont bark, we dont bite.. just follow... We keep them guessing bout what we want..
Oh.. sounds familiar.. So what happens to those humans..?
Nothing major, they start talking to us and in their imagination see us talking back to them.. bow- wow! weirdos u humans are i tell you..
Yeah.. right.. I need to go now.. Please dont follow me anymore..
Oh.. Dont worry mate.. We wont.. And your imagination will be back to normal once you leave this island..
I sure hope to..



P.S. - To my friends : If you find me digging for bones in my garden, kindly inform Paris Hilton..

Hey Dog (Part 2) - Dog's day out..